by A. M. Kusi
Her smile was shaky. “Yes. No. And it was just a long day. Painting takes a lot out of me.” She pulled away. A tell.
“If you need anything, I’m across the hall,” he said, not realizing he was leaning closer until it was too late. His mouth met her forehead and he placed a tender kiss on her skin. Fire danced across his lips, burning his body with both pain and pleasure. He backed away, searching her eyes for any sign of a reaction.
Isa swallowed as her body trembled slightly. Her voice shook. “Ethan, this is just pretend. I’m still the today kind of girl.”
“And I’m still the tomorrow guy.” He said it like it was a promise.
“I think we should keep our distance from each other unless it’s for show in front of them.” She motioned to the door.
“After all we have been through, we are at least friends. Don’t you agree?”
She seemed to mull over the idea for a few moments before she spoke, “Yes. Friends. But I still think distance is a good idea. Friends don’t give friends kisses.”
“Some friends do,” he said, smirking.
“I already told you, we can’t be those kinds of friends.” She smiled.
He wouldn’t want that anyways. Because when he got her, he wouldn’t ever let go.
You would be mine, and I would be yours. Forever.
Chapter 9
Ethan left her room and she leaned against the door, her heart racing. She had purposely skipped dinner to avoid him. When he came to her room, showing her this sweet, caring side to him, it had almost been too much. She could feel all her resistance crumbling. That kiss he’d planted on her forehead was her undoing. So gentle, as if she were made of glass and he was afraid to break her. Like he cherished her. Isa had wondered her whole life what that would feel like. Now she knew, and it was almost worse that she did. Worse because she wouldn’t have it again. He was looking for something serious. She didn’t think she could give that to anyone. If she fell for him, it would be her undoing. He would destroy her when he left, or when she left, because she never stayed too long.
The next week and a half went by fast. Isa’s head was feeling much better. Ethan had respected the boundary she’d set in her suite when he’d so thoughtfully brought her food and tea.
They had managed to keep up the act in front of their friends. Whenever he touched her, need would vibrate through her like the rumble of thunder before a storm. They hadn’t shared a kiss since that day in front of their friends, but his arms were often around her, supporting her, almost as if he knew how hard it was for her to be close to him. When they went on their designated activities, he gave her space, but kept the conversation going. He talked about his students, his hopes and dreams. She felt as though she really knew who Ethan Appiah was. He was honest, blunt, and kind. He had a unique sense of humor. He laughed with his whole body and it was the most joyful sound she had ever heard. He always backed up what he said with his actions.
She could see why Harper had chosen him for her. He was a good man. The perfect man she’d thought she would never find. As she leaned against the car, waiting for the others to assemble for their walk, the reality hit her like a landslide. She had blamed her relationship choices on the fact that her ideal man didn’t exist. Now that she’d been proven wrong, she was afraid of the rejection, knowing she wasn’t the perfect woman for him. The fear of opening herself up to heartache again was what held her back. This wouldn’t be like the pain she’d experienced before. No, Ethan would be a tornado, sweeping in and carrying her to the highest heights. But when it ended, when he saw she wasn’t good enough, the destruction would leave her unrecognizable.
Harper joined her outside by the cars. “You ready for the hike?”
Isa pulled her sweatshirt tighter around her shoulders. The cool September day sent a chill through her. “Yes.”
“You okay?” Harper inquired, looking her in the eyes.
“Yeah.”
“It’s me you’re talking to. Come on. You were there for me when I was dealing with everything that occurred with Jax. Let me be there for you. What’s really going on?” Harper prodded.
“I just . . .” Isa struggled to find the words. How much did she want to share? “I’m scared,” she admitted.
Harper gave her a sympathetic smile. “Everyone fears something.”
“He’s a good man.”
“I told you he was. Have I ever steered you wrong?” Harper said.
“No, you haven’t.”
“You are a good woman too,” Harper added, as if reading her thoughts.
“He knows where he is going, what his plans are. I just float from here to there. I don’t commit to anything or anyone for long.”
“You commit to the things that matter. You have been my loyal best friend for years. You are religious about your art.”
Isa really took Harper’s words to heart. She had never thought of it that way. She had been able to commit to the things that truly mattered. Maybe she wasn’t like her father, with his inability to stay committed in a relationship.
“What if I fall for him and I become like her?” She spoke her fear out loud.
“Your mother may love your father, but he doesn’t love her. Love doesn’t let you behave the way he does. I learned that the hard way myself. Your mother is choosing to stay out of comfort, or obligation, to save face, I don’t know. Whatever it is, it’s toxic.”
Harper placed her hand on Isa’s shoulder as she continued. “I do know that when I was letting myself be treated less than I deserved, you were the one who helped me through it. You reminded me that I deserved better. You have that knowing inside you, and if you ever forget, I’ll be there to remind you. We are sisters. Ride or die,” Harper joked.
Isa laughed, feeling lighter. “What do I do now?”
“Keep doing what you’re doing. He seems mighty smitten with you. I can feel the electric charge between you two whenever you are in the same room. I’m afraid to walk between you in case I get shocked!” Harper teased.
Isa’s smile was forced. Harper didn’t know that it was all pretend. Now Isa was wishing it wasn’t either. Her bright idea of a prank was backfiring in the most unexpected way.
***
The friends all climbed into the SUV as Jax drove to the trail head. Isa was squished between Ethan and baby Mila in her car seat. His arm was draped around the back seat behind her.
She felt the longing with every cell in her body. It was painful to want what she couldn’t have. The perfect man was going to slip through her fingers because she wasn’t his ideal woman. He had said he wanted a wife. A wife—when being a girlfriend was a big enough step for her. He wanted a family, and though she loved the sleeping baby next to her, she had never imagined herself a mother. At least not anytime soon. Her carefree life on the go hadn’t been the most conducive for children. Though it had certainly gotten lonely recently without Harper to share the experiences with her.
They arrived at the trail and got out. The men carried the backpacks full of supplies. Jax also had Mila strapped to his front, in one of the many baby carriers Harper had brought. Isa glanced around her. Tall trees of many kinds surrounded them on all sides, their beautiful leaves in various stages of turning from green to brilliant oranges and reds. New England was breathtaking in the fall. She wished she could be here for the peak of the season to see nature’s beauty on full display.
The couples broke off and started down the trail with River and Ella taking the lead, hand in hand. Jax and Harper followed in the same fashion. Ethan looked over to her with his hand held out, and she took it without hesitation. He touched her like it was the most natural thing in the world, when it affected her body in the most otherworldly ways.
As they got farther into the forest, birds chirped and small rodents scampered off with their nuts, rustling through the leaves. Squirrels ran down trees,
chasing each other and chattering as if scolding Isa and her friends for their presence in their home.
The air was crisp and cool in the shade of the forest. The path was set in front of them, roots twisting up beneath the brown dirt, weaving around the rocks. The longer they walked, the closer Isa began walking to Ethan. They were in the middle of nowhere, hiking on a mountain. A large sign warning of black bears had met them at the entrance of the trail. She was sure to keep a watchful eye on the thickets and plant overgrowth for any sign of the large mammal.
“I’ll protect you,” Ethan said, breaking their silence and reading her thoughts.
She looked at him, surprised. “This is not a hike. This is, like, where you would go to hide a body.”
“Or to feed it to the bears,” he added, echoing her earlier worries.
She clung tighter to his arm.
He smiled. “I promise, I’ll protect you.”
She felt his words through every fiber of her being, down to the very marrow of her bones.
“I like that about you,” she said aloud before thinking better of it.
His smile widened. “Isa Grayson likes something about me?”
“Don’t be so surprised,” she teased.
Their friends appeared ahead as the sound of rushing water got louder. The sun shone through the leaves above, sending dancing rays of light on them. She could smell the moisture in the air, and the scent of wet earth. They were getting close to the waterfall.
The group walked over to a lookout area, pointing down.
Ethan stopped in front of her so he was looking into her eyes. “Why aren’t you close with your brother, Liam?”
“Really? You want to know that right now?”
“Yes.” He crossed his arms across his chest. “I have spent the last week and a half sharing about myself with you and you haven’t really returned the favor.”
She avoided his gaze. “My brother is my parents’ favorite. He does everything right. He met all my family’s expectations of him. He works for my father. He is seeing the right women. I, on the other hand, never finished college. I am not interested in the many men they try to set me up with. I like to be free and travel on a moment’s notice. I like to paint, which they think is a hobby for five-year-olds.”
His hand reached out and grabbed her chin, directing her eyes to his as he stared back at her. “Sounds like that’s their problem, not yours.”
Their problem. He said it as if absolving her of any fault for not being good enough in their eyes. As if her parents’ approval should mean nothing to her.
Heat flooded her body at the pure acceptance in his gaze. The fierce protector was shining through. His eyes said she was enough. Those onyx spheres promised to guard her heart.
He moved closer until his hands cupped her face gently. She was open and exposed, and protected all at once. He swiped the pad of his thumb against her cheek so carefully, cherishing her. The gesture was like a warm but forceful gust of wind, threatening to blow her over. She was at the precipice of his storm, and she wanted nothing more in that moment than to be swept up in it. To enjoy the burn of the lightning kisses and the rumble of her thunderous heartbeat that made her quake with every ragged breath she managed to take. Her breasts met his chest and the tingle of electricity swept over her body, consuming her with need.
She saw it in his eyes—the moment he gave in. He was going to kiss her, and she both feared and longed for it.
“Come on, you two lovebirds! Keep up!” Jax called after them, jarring her back into the moment. To the reason they were here. To the reality that they were not actually together.
Ethan’s eyes flashed with something, and she saw the war going on in them as the storm clouds of whatever they had between them receded. He stepped out of her way and they walked fast to catch up to their friends without another word.
When they reached the waterfall, the air was much cooler. The white curtain of water poured thunderously into a green pool. River wrapped his arms around Ella and smiled, whispering something into her ear before they shared a kiss. Harper sat to nurse Mila while Jax climbed down the large rocks to get closer to the water.
She could feel Ethan’s gaze from where he stood, leaning against a tree. His expression had changed. He looked hungry as his gaze raked over her body. An expression of anger darkened his features before he turned away to follow Jax.
After they’d all explored a bit, they came back to share a picnic lunch in the small clearing, sitting on the ground.
Ella smiled as she spoke. “This was where we had our first date.”
“I hardly count this as our first date. You insisted it wasn’t, remember?” River teased.
“You almost kissed me for the first time, right here,” she answered.
He leaned down and kissed her.
“All right, you two. Remember, we have a minor present,” Jax said.
“This was where I shared all the darkest pieces of myself with you, all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together,” Ella continued. “I was trying to push you away and show you why we wouldn’t work. Why I wasn’t worth the risk.”
Isa knew Ella wasn’t one to share about her past lightly. She felt honored that the other woman had opened up within her presence.
She could also relate to what Ella was saying. She admired the strong, confident woman in front of her, and the way River looked at her reverently. How could Ella have ever doubted her worth?
River didn’t break eye contact with his love. “I only saw reasons to love you more.”
Isa’s heart fluttered, at the sight of the two of them. Jax leaned and kissed Harper as if the love between the couples was contagious. Isa sensed Ethan behind her before his strong arms wrapped around her.
His chin rested against her neck as he whispered in her ear, “I see you too.”
Her skin erupted in gooseflesh over her arms and legs. It was as if his words breathed life into her. Hope. Her knees wobbled and she was sure, if she tried to step away from him, she would stumble. She was the most vulnerable she had ever been and his strong arms held her close. She could have sworn the ground shook violently as Ethan’s storm of emotions swallowed her up.
Chapter 10
“Three days until the wedding!” Harper said excitedly, matching her brother’s enthusiasm.
River beamed and looked at Ella.
“You still sure you want to marry this sap? There’s time to run,” Jax joked.
“I’m as sure as I ever was.” Ella winked at River.
Isa walked into the lobby and joined them all for brunch. She was the last one there, as usual. Her designer jeans hugged every beautiful curve like they had been made specifically for her. She wore a T-shirt that said Queen of the Castle with a soft-looking sweater around her arms. Her hair was down; the beautiful rich brown and blond highlights caught the glint of the sun through the windows. She was completely and utterly out of his league. Ultimate perfection sent to tempt and show him what he couldn’t have.
He just needed to get through the next few days and then he could make it home and get his mind straight. When Isa was around, everything became jumbled and inconsequential next to her. She put on a brave face, but he saw through it to the vulnerable and softer side of Isa Grayson. The part of her that needed protecting. Every cell in his body wanted to be the one to do it, like he was made for the sole purpose of being her guardian.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” Isa asked, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl on the center of the table.
“Apple picking!” Harper answered.
“Sounds fun,” Isa said, before taking a bite of the apple. Some of the juice dripped down the corner of her mouth and Ethan fought the urge to lick it.
Once everyone had finished their meal, they piled into Jax’s SUV and drove to the orchard. Maggie, Julie, and Avery met them
there, along with Ella’s other friend and the owner of the pub, Lucas, with his girlfriend.
Harper handed out bags to everyone, and they all broke into pairs. Isa volunteered to hold Mila in the baby carrier. He studied her and saw flashes of what could be. Isa by his side, laughing with her hair splayed out on a pillow. Bringing her to meet his parents. Her holding the hand of their child.
Flashes of potential tortured him.
She kept a protective arm around Mila as she walked towards a row of apple trees. His legs burned as they made their way up the incline, but the view was stunning. Fields and fields of apple trees stretched before them, interrupted by wooden paths with enough space for tractors. Little white signs with red-painted letters labeled the different rows. Some he recognized as names of the rooms at the inn: Gala, Granny Smith, Macintosh, and more. Who would have ever known there were so many different types of apples?
Avery came running over to Isa and tripped on a half-rotten apple. But Isa’s hand was quick enough to catch the little girl before she crashed into her.
Isa smiled. “Whoa there. You okay?”
Avery nodded as she caught her breath. “Yes. Can I pick with you and the baby? Mommy and Mama said I could if you said yes!” Avery said in an excited rush.
Isa smiled, glancing at Avery’s mothers, and nodded. “Of course you can. You can be my helper.”
“I love helping!” Avery quickly agreed.
“That’s great, because I need someone to help me pick the reddest, juiciest apples,” Isa said.
They walked down the row of apples, and Ethan felt the pull of one opposite magnet to another. He jogged to catch up to them. He had three days left, and he wouldn’t waste them.
“I’ll carry the bag,” he offered.
Isa turned and looked at him, nodding. “Sounds like it will be a team effort.”
Team. Partnership. Was it truly what he wanted in life? Yes. Could he put his own ticking clock on hold to give them a try and see if she was willing to take the chance on him? Yes. Without a doubt.