by A. M. Kusi
They finished picking apples and met everyone at the small store for fresh hot cider and donuts. When they were done, they drove back to the inn.
Isa had volunteered to watch the kids for everyone in the wedding so that they could do a run-through and finish the last-minute preparations. Ethan went into the kitchen to find River talking to a silver-and-blue-haired older woman with bare feet.
“Annie, this is Ethan. Ethan, this is Annie, Maggie’s mom and our caterer,” River introduced them.
“Nice to meet you,” Ethan said.
“What’s up?” River asked Ethan.
“I thought maybe if you guys have all this covered, I would stay and help Isa with the kids this evening.”
“I see. Well, we’re pretty much on top of things here, so feel free, man. Just can’t get enough of that babysitting huh? Good luck.” He smirked.
“Eh, what? You don’t think I can handle two kids?”
“My friend, I’m not talking about the kids,” River added, giving him a knowing look.
If only his friend knew—he was going to need all the luck he could get.
***
Isa pulled out a bag before emptying its contents on the floor. The magazine she had picked up the other day fell out, along with books of stickers, coloring pages, markers, and other craft supplies she showed Avery. The adults had left to finish the wedding business, so she was surprised when a knock came to her door. She cradled Mila and went to answer it.
Ethan stood outside, the shadows of the hallway playing with the angles of his chiseled face, wreaking havoc with her insides.
“I thought you went with everyone else?” she asked.
“I figured you could use a hand, since you were outnumbered and all,” he said, motioning to Avery on the floor behind her.
She couldn’t hold back her smile as she opened the door wider. “Come on in.”
Ethan went straight over to Avery and started reading the directions for the craft she was working on. Isa sat on the bed where she could see them while she played peek-a-boo with Mila, who wiggled around safely between the boundaries of her legs.
“Next, you color this part blue,” Ethan directed.
Avery proceeded to color it green.
“That’s not blue,” he said.
Worry clenched her gut. How many times had she chosen to color outside the line when her father told her not to? Would Ethan be too rigid and unforgiving of different ideas?
“I think it looks better with green,” Avery argued.
“I think you’re right,” Ethan said.
Isa relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief.
“Sometimes the directions are wrong,” Avery continued.
Ethan chuckled, and by God, she felt it to her core.
“Sometimes they can be helpful,” he said gently.
Avery squinted, seemingly considering his statement for a moment. “I guess so. But sometimes they make it more complicated.” She said the last word like she was trying it out for the first time.
Meeting Isa’s eyes, Ethan balled up the instructions and threw them on the ground. “I think you’re right. We don’t need these anymore.”
Isa swallowed, feeling the ground tremble with his words. Mila frowned and let out a few frustrated cries, so she picked her up and walked around the room, jiggling her and patting her back. She could feel Ethan’s eyes following her as she soothed Mila. Harper had fed her before she left, and she was changed, so Isa guessed she was ready for her nap.
Fifteen minutes of rocking and jiggling later, Mila was fast asleep against her. She adored her caramel chubby cheeks and the perfect curve of her eyelashes. Her little nose looked like a button. Isa could feel the love pouring off her for the tiny girl in her arms. Would she ever get the chance to do this for real, for herself? Awareness warmed her, as she glanced up. Those obsidian eyes staring back at her as if he had been wondering the same thing.
Isa walked over to her bed and carefully laid Mila next to her on it. The baby drew in short, sweet breaths as she slept, mesmerized by her innocence. The little lashes fluttered every now and then as she drifted further into dreamland. A small life, so precious and pure. Isa leaned and planted a soft kiss to her head.
Ethan laughed at something Avery said as he held a paper mask he’d made in front of his face. He was silly and playful with Avery, and Isa’s ovaries ached for the first time in her life. This man was the epitome of everything she had dreamed of in what seemed like another life. The hero in the story that she had shelved in a long-forgotten bookcase, in the secret room of her heart.
He was bold and fierce; protective and strong; playful and kind; compassionate and genuine. He was all man, chiseled and sculpted from the finest material. This person who had broken through the fortress she’d hid herself away in, who made her question the foundation of everything she believed. Ethan. The one stealing glances that gave her hope she couldn’t afford.
She lay with her head next to Mila, watching her small chest rise and fall as she herself drifted off to sleep.
***
Ethan handed the sandwich he’d made to Avery before he made himself a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
“I don’t like the crust,” she whined, pointing to the offensive item.
Ethan quickly cut around the bread and gave it back to her. “Better?”
“Perfect!” she exclaimed.
He took a bite of his own meal.
“When are you and Isa getting married?”
Ethan nearly choked on the lump of bread caught in his throat. He reached for a cup and opened the fridge. A glass container of creamy white milk caught his eye, and he poured himself some. Taking a large gulp, he found it was coconut milk. It wasn’t bad, so he drank the rest of what was in his cup before answering the little girl. “Why would you think we are getting married?”
“Because you love each other,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“Why do you think that?”
She sighed, like he was asking her the dumbest question in the world. “Because you look at each other like my mommies look at each other. You have the love sparkle. And you smile at her a lot.” She smiled, pieces of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich stuck in her baby teeth.
This very observant six-year-old had just read him like a book. But love? No, it was much too early for something like that. He liked Isa, that was certain. But like seemed too light of a word to describe what he felt for her.
He thought of Isa, sleeping peacefully like an angel next to Mila, her body curled protectively around her. My love. He was joking the only time he’d used the term of endearment in the hospital. Why did it feel like it fit so perfectly?
***
Isa sat and rubbed her eyes, bringing the room into focus. She had fallen asleep. Mila stirred and stretched as she noisily whimpered. They were alone. Where were Ethan and Avery? She picked Mila up and brought her onto the ground where the diaper bag was.
She had just finished changing her when a knock sounded at her door. Isa stood and opened it, expecting to see Ethan and Avery. Instead, it was Harper. Her friend reached for Mila and Isa handed her over.
“Come to Mommy! My boobs are about to burst. I forgot the pump. Tell me she didn’t eat yet?” Harper pleaded.
Two wet marks darkened her friend’s T-shirt over her breasts. “You weren’t kidding! No, she just woke up.”
“Yes!” Harper cheered.
“Did Maggie get Avery?”
“Yes, everyone is in the kitchen, I believe.” Harper scurried out of the room with a quick “thank you” over her shoulder.
Isa shut the door. The art supplies Avery had been using with Ethan were neatly packed away in the bag. She smiled, remembering the way he’d played with Avery like she was the most important person in the world. Isa felt the same when his
attention was on her. A pang of jealousy made her face flush. How could she be so foolish? Ethan was just the kind of man who gave his undivided attention to those he cared for. A man like him was rare, a mythical unicorn in a world full of self-centered misogynists.
Another knock came to her door. Harper must have forgotten something in her rush.
Isa opened it, surprised to find Ethan standing outside with a determined and fiery look in his eyes.
“Thanks for your help tonight.” Isa spoke first. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“That’s okay. You need your rest.” Something flashed in his eyes and his muscles tensed. A war raged across his features.
He stepped into her room, closing the door behind him and walking past her. Whipping around, he locked his gaze to her face. “What are we doing?”
Isa inhaled a quick breath, the atmosphere changing with the energy radiating off him. His scent enveloped her in pine and man, making it hard to speak and impossible to think clearly. She liked him; she wanted more, but she needed him to make that first step.
“We’re just playing pretend,” she said, the words a bold-faced lie. They both knew it.
“No, we’re playing with fire,” he growled. He took a few steps closer and she backed up, afraid of the raging storm approaching her. The air grew thick like it did before a heavy rain. She could have sworn the room darkened as she stood in his shadow, her back flush against the door from him pressing his body against her.
“If I kiss you it won’t be for show, but because I want to kiss you. Because this stopped being pretend for me a long time ago. If I kiss you, it’s not just for tonight; it’s for all the tomorrows to come. I want to taste your mouth, and I want to see where this goes. You feel this too, right?” he asked.
Isa swore each of his confessions were like lightning bolts striking her core, going straight through her heart. Her body hummed, alive with his energy. She ached to do far more than just kiss him, but could she really do this? Could she risk the rejection?
She nodded, afraid that her voice would betray her.
“Isa.” Her name from his voice made her body tremble and heat blossomed in her belly before moving down. She was wet. Ethan hovered over her as he leaned his face closer. His words spoken on her lips. His breath became hers.
“When I kiss you, it won’t be gentle.” Thunder crashed against the gate to her heart. “It won’t be temporary.” Electricity sparked, her body a live wire, exposed to the elements of Ethan. “When I kiss you, it will mean that you agree to see where this goes with me, that you agree to commit to only me,” he continued. Each of his ragged breaths came faster, matching her own. “When I kiss you, you will be mine and I yours.”
Commitment. He wanted to date her. He was offering her everything she never knew she wanted from him. He was offering himself to her.
“So what do you think?” he asked, his eyes searching hers for permission. “Can I kiss you?”
Chapter 11
“Yes,” she whispered, giving him consent to do what they both wanted and had fought so hard against. She was powerless to anything else. Her body thrummed with a mix of warnings, blaring sirens, lust, hope, and something else. Something she had never felt. Something much bigger than anything she had ever faced. It was growing and throbbing and pulsing in her chest. It was the push-pull of the last eleven days that had led to this very moment. This choice that she felt destined to make.
Ethan smashed his mouth against hers possessively, fulfilling his promise of claiming her. Her legs buckled under the shockwaves of anticipation that picked her up, the energy swirling her around in the vortex until she was weightless, boneless. His tongue darted out, searching the seam of her lips for access. He tasted sweet. Her body was a blazing fire of need and want and lust. His strong arms wrapped around her tightly, protecting her from this whirlwind of their bodies meeting, the only thing keeping her grounded to Earth.
This kiss was nothing compared to the first chaste kiss they had shared in front of their friends. This kiss was raw and rough. Lightning and fire. Life and death. This kiss was like a black hole swallowing up any that came before it, as well as the room around them, eclipsing the two of them, suspending them in time and space.
Ethan’s hand traveled down her ass and he squeezed it as he picked her up in his arms before pinning her against the door. She didn’t bother trying to contain her moans as their mouths warred for dominance, like they couldn’t get enough of each other. He kissed her like she was his sole source of oxygen as he ground his hardness against her. Being with him like this stirred conflict inside her. Danger and safety. Fear and hope. Her mind swirled as the tornado of mixed emotions took her higher. The blood in her veins burned with a fire of need and want.
Ethan broke their kiss. Sucking in a staggered breath, he stared at her with his coal-black eyes. He set her on her feet gently. Her legs were unsteady and uncertain, as if the ground was still shaking. She searched his eyes for what to do next, for any sign that he knew what this was between them. That he could explain it.
“I meant what I said.” His voice was like gravel. “I want to see where this goes.”
“Okay,” she agreed, her own voice dripping with want.
He smiled, raking his eyes over her body once more. “I’d better go, or we won’t be taking anything slow.”
She nodded, her body at war with her heart. She wanted him in her bed like she needed her next breath, but she also knew that slow was better. Ethan was different than the men who had come before, the nameless, faceless lovers.
He bent and placed a kiss on her nose, cupping her face in his hands. Gone was the aggressive lover. The hands that held her now were gentle and soothing.
He stumbled back a step as if he had been affected as much as she had.
Isa moved away from the door so he could leave. He opened it, giving her one last look, filled with longing, before he turned and left.
Silence engulfed the room. She touched her lips, still swollen from his kiss—if you could even call it that. It was more like a seal on her body, tattooing her, possessing her. And she couldn’t wait for him to imprint his mark on her again.
***
Sleep was impossible, knowing Isa was across the hall from him. Was she naked in her bed, thinking of him too? He remembered the burn of her skin against him. The feel of her curves in his hands. Her taste in his mouth. He wanted to use his tongue to explore every inch of her, consuming her like the fire that burned within him. What was it about her that took hold of his thoughts and possessed his body? If he was back home, he might think her a witch, believe that he was under her spell. The power she held over his desire was almost painful. He had tried to stay away, knowing his parents were going to set him up with a woman from his culture. A woman to help pass their traditions on to the family he desired. The family Isa was so uncertain she wanted. It was a life she didn’t seem to fit into.
Ethan sighed and wiped his hand across his face, checking the clock. It was only nine in the evening; his mother would still be up. He swiped his phone open and placed the call. Part of him felt reassured that he should get his mother’s advice and part of him was nervous of her opinion.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Ethan, what’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.
Ethan sighed. He should have known his mother could read his voice as well as his face. “I met someone.”
“Ahh. I see,” she stated, simply.
“When I am with her, it’s like nothing I have ever felt with anyone else. Is that how it was with you and Dad?”
“Your father and I started with a small fire that grew over time. We had to keep it going, feeding it every day. His character and our friendship were always more important to us. That spark is important though; intimacy is a huge part of a marriage.”
Ethan nodded
as if she could see him. What he and Isa had was more like a blazing forest fire rather than a spark. Did that mean that they would burn hot and bright and then fizzle out? He doubted it. The feelings he had for her were strong, all-consuming, and he couldn’t imagine feeling this way about anyone else. He didn’t want to.
“Is she a good girl?” his mother asked.
“From what I can see. She takes care of those she loves. She’s very nurturing. She’s funny, beautiful, and there’s just something different about her.”
“Who would have thought you would meet a nice Ghanaian lady way up there in Vermont.” His mother chuckled.
Panic and dread shot through his body as he prepared himself to tell his mother that Isa was not from their culture.
“Actually, Mom, she isn’t Ghanaian,” he admitted, and she sucked in a surprised breath through the phone.
She remained silent for a moment before asking, “What about Sarah? I had tea with her this past weekend. She would make you a very good partner. She comes from a great family, she knows our culture, and she cooks our foods. Why not wait and see?”
“Mom, I already told Isa I want to date her.”
She huffed. “Well, let’s just see when you get back. No harm in meeting a friend of your sister’s.”
Before Ethan could speak, she cut him off. “Well, I should go—papers to grade. I’ll talk to you when you are home and we will arrange a dinner sometime. Bye, son. I love you.” She ended the call before he could say his farewell.
This was going to be harder than he’d thought.
***
After tossing and turning most of the night, Ethan woke early. He needed to get some of the pent-up energy released from his body, so he opted for a run up the mountain road.
The crisp September air was wet with dew. The oranges and reds of the turning trees were much fuller than when he’d arrived. Their time at The Orchard Inn was coming to an end. The wedding was tomorrow, and he would be heading back to Boston after that. Back to reality, away from their little bubble of friendship and fun. What would Isa be like as a girlfriend in real life? Would they mesh well, even though they had opposite opinions about so many things? How would she fit into his life? Could he fit into hers? Would his parents approve of her after getting to know her? His thoughts tormented him as he pushed his body to its limits.