by A. M. Kusi
Ethan looked at her quizzically.
“Let’s go find a quiet place and have a snack,” she suggested.
He nodded and led them out to a few tables. He handed Joy a bag of Pirate Booty to snack on and shared a few pieces with Max.
“What are those for?” he whispered so Joy couldn’t hear.
“They make the room quieter. She can still hear us, but it drowns out a lot of the background noise. She seemed to be getting overstimulated with all the noise and activity,” she explained.
He nodded. “It’s a good idea. Thanks.”
She couldn’t contain her small smile. He grabbed her thigh under the table and squeezed. The motion was sweet and possessive all at once. The simple gesture warmed her body with memories of what they’d shared last night.
“How about we ditch this place and get some ice cream?” Ethan suggested.
Joy’s eyes lit up. “Ice cream? Yes!”
After Ethan paid, they all sat at a table, enjoying the sweet treat. Ethan shared his with Max, and Joy got more on her face than she did in her mouth. Isa smiled at the three of them. Tragedy had thrown her together with them, making feelings grow faster than she would have thought possible. Her heart ached at the thought of ever having to leave Ethan, but also the kids.
Isa stayed for dinner. Ethan showed off his cooking skills, making rice balls and peanut soup. Isa thought it was a weird combination, but she gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried it. It was delicious: rich and savory. She helped him get the kids in the bath and then tuck them into bed.
“I miss Mommy and Daddy,” Joy said as he put the story away.
He rubbed his hand over her head. “I know, honey. I do too.”
Isa stepped out of the room to give them some privacy, still able to hear their conversation.
“When can I go to heaven and see them?” she asked innocently.
“Not for a long time.”
“But what if I just visit?” she protested.
“It doesn’t work like that,” he said.
“Can Mommy hear me from heaven?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice cracking.
“Will you help me talk to her?” Joy asked.
“Uh . . . sure,” he said, sounding unsure.
“You start,” Joy said.
“Abby?” He cleared his throat. “J wants to talk to you,” he said, his voice slightly trembling.
Isa headed down the stairs, not wanting to eavesdrop on such a private moment.
Ethan joined her a little while later as she was starting the dishwasher. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him.
“I missed you,” he said.
“I’ve been with you all day.” She laughed.
“Yeah, but I couldn’t touch you like I wanted, when I wanted. I couldn’t do this,” he said turning her to face him and kissing her.
Her body reacted to him as it always did. Her need only seemed to grow in intensity each time rather than fade.
“Stay?” he asked.
She kissed him back in answer. She didn’t need to think about it, or hesitate this time.
There was nowhere else she’d rather be.
Chapter 21
She stayed over every night over the next week, keeping a bag with her essentials and a change of clothes so it wouldn’t look like she had slept there. Their days were spent in the good kind of chaos. It was almost as though they were a family.
Isa had fallen hard and fast for Ethan. The more she got to know him, the more deeply she cared for him.
She set the sheet of freshly baked cookies on the stove as cries erupted from the other room. She ran in to see Max crawling across the floor towards a repentant-looking Joy.
“What happened?” Isa asked, picking up the baby.
“He was playing with my dolly and I wanted it back!” she said, pulling the toy from behind her.
“I see. Maybe next time you can use your words. Offer him a trade.” Isa reached down and grabbed a stuffed elephant from the toy box. Max’s chubby hands grabbed for it hungrily.
“I’m gonna lay him down for a nap. Why don’t you watch some Wild Kratts while I do that?” She flipped on PBS and warmed up a bottle before taking Max to the bedroom and rocking him.
He was asleep within minutes. She laid him down and went to check on Joy who was glued to the TV. Isa used the bathroom, savoring the minute alone when her phone rang. Harper was calling.
“Hey.”
“Hey, stranger. Is now a good time?” Harper asked.
“Yeah, I got a second,” she said, opening the bathroom door and heading into the hall.
“I just wanted to check on you and see how you were holding up. Taking care of kids is no easy feat,” Harper said.
“I’m managing. Things are going really well actually.”
“And how’s Ethan?”
Isa smiled. “He’s really good. I mean, he is dealing with a lot, but things between us are . . . amazing.”
Harper squealed through the phone with excitement. “I’m so happy for you! Have you . . . you know?”
“Yes,” Isa admitted.
“I knew it!”
“He called me his ‘love,’” Isa whispered.
“Wow. That seems fast.”
“Right?” Isa hesitated. Was this too soon for real love? Maybe this was something else. A strong affection. Yes, that was it.
“Tragedy can put things in fast forward. Creating beginnings where there wouldn’t have been one, tightening bonds, or ending others that weren’t strong to begin with. How do you feel about him?” Harper asked.
“I’m falling for him. God, it makes me terrified to say that out loud.”
“He’s a good man,” Harper assured her.
A bloodcurdling scream erupted from down the hall. Isa jumped and ran towards the source. There was no Joy in front of the TV. She turned and found the little girl holding her hand and crying by the stove. The sheet pan of freshly baked cookies was on the floor next to her.
Isa bolted into action, picking up the little girl and running her hand under cold water as she tried to soothe her. The blisters were already starting to form over the angry red mark on her hand.
“Fuck!” Isa said out loud. She reached for her phone. “I gotta go.” She hung up on Harper before calling Ethan. No answer. She couldn’t call the school with Joy screaming in the background. She sent a text to Ethan telling him to meet her at urgent care and dialed his mother’s number before carrying Joy to the SUV.
“Hello?” Esther answered.
“Hi, it’s Isa, Ethan’s g— I’ve been watching Joy and Max.”
Joy let out another wail as she buckled her in the car seat.
“What’s wrong?” his mother’s voice came through, panicked.
“Joy burned her hand. I’m taking her to urgent care. I can’t get a hold of Ethan.”
“I’ll meet you there,” Esther said before she hung up.
Isa ran quickly to grab the sleeping baby and diaper bag before returning to the car.
Of all the things that could go wrong, why did Joy have to be the one to suffer?
Ethan was going to hate her.
Twenty minutes later, the doctor was wrapping Joy’s hand in a bandage when Ethan’s mom rushed into the room.
“Nana!” Joy said, wincing in pain.
“Oh, my baby! Are you okay?” Esther asked.
Joy nodded. “I’m feeling better now.”
Isa held Max who was back asleep in her arms. Isa hated that she’d had to call Esther and tell her one of her grandchildren had been hurt. This woman had been through enough.
“All fixed up,” the doctor said. “Just keep reapplying the ointment and changing the bandage. The rest of the instructions are on the pa
per the nurse will bring in. Mom just has to sign the papers,” he said, looking at Isa.
“She’s the nanny,” Esther clarified.
“Oh, well. Sorry about that. Whoever is the caretaker should just follow those instructions,” he said, leaving them alone in the room with the awkward silence.
“What happened?” Esther demanded.
Isa opened her mouth to speak just as Ethan rushed into the room.
“What happened?” he echoed. He scanned the room before landing on Joy’s hand.
“I wanted a cookie,” Joy explained.
“We made cookies and they were cooling on the stove. I walked away for five minutes and I heard her scream. I tried to call you.” She took a breath to slow her hurried speech. “When you didn’t pick up, I phoned your mom and rushed here.”
Ethan let out a breath. “It was just an accident. You going to be okay, Joy?”
“Yes.”
“It could have been a lot worse,” his mother scolded.
“But it wasn’t,” he assured her. “Mom, you haven’t formally met Isa. Isa, this is my mom, Esther,” he said, as if introductions would make this any less awkward for her.
“Nice to meet you, officially. I just wish it was under better circumstances.” Isa nodded.
Esther turned to her son. “I want you and the kids to come over for dinner this weekend. My future daughter-in-law, Sarah, will be there.”
What? Her what? Isa wasn’t sure she’d heard the woman right. Her body burned with jealousy. Was Ethan seeing someone on the side? The room started to spin and her knees felt weak, threatening to buckle beneath her.
“Mom, I told you Isa and I are together. I’m not interested in meeting her anymore.”
So, this was someone he hadn’t even met yet? That only made her feel a little better.
Esther looked at Isa as though she were gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. “Fine. She can come too.”
***
Isa drove the kids back to Ethan’s while he followed in his own car. She was quiet, helping them into the house.
Inside the pan and broken cookies lay splattered on the floor and she immediately cleaned the mess up.
Ethan set Joy in front of the TV with a movie, a snack, and juice while Max was happily babbling in the high chair having his banana.
His strong arms wrapped around her. Relief and comfort flooded over her as she rested in the safety of his embrace.
“You okay?” he asked.
“She got hurt really bad,” she whispered.
“I know. But I also know it was an accident.”
“I was so scared. I thought you would hate me like your mother obviously does,” she said.
“Never. My mom doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t know you. Mom has different expectations for my life. She’d rather have someone who understands our culture helping with the kids and dating her son.”
“Who’s Sarah?” she asked, not being able to help the jealousy in her voice.
He turned her around to face him, grief and sadness flashing in his eyes. “Sarah is a friend of my sister. Abby and Mom were gonna set us up when I got back from the inn.”
“But then you met me?”
He smiled. “Then I met you.”
He had expressed the importance of his family’s approval of his partner and why their culture was such a sacred thing to them. Worry and jealousy wound tightly around her chest, making it hard to breathe.
He kissed her, pushing back the seeds of doubt, training her focus on only one thing—him.
After the kids were in bed, she sat on the couch. Ethan pulled out a beer for himself and a hard cider for her. After twisting off the cap, she swallowed some of the sweet bubbly liquid as he snuggled next to her.
“How are you doing with all of this?” he asked.
“It’s a lot, but I am really loving it. I like being here with you guys instead of going home to a big empty apartment. I feel a little lost with the homeschooling, but we’re figuring it out together. I found some resources online that have helped.”
“I really appreciate everything you’re doing and learning for the kids and me.” He kissed her cheek. “I haven’t even seen where you live yet.”
“We did things really backwards didn’t we?”
“Does that bother you?” he asked.
“No. Maybe it’s just what we needed.”
He turned and looked at her with a smile that nearly melted her panties off. “Wanna go to bed?”
“You’re insatiable,” she teased.
“Don’t act like you don’t want me too.”
Isa pretended to be shocked. “Who, me?”
He leaned forward, his hand resting on her thigh, his voice dripping with sex. “I’ve noticed the way you squeeze your legs together, trying to calm the fire that ignites when you think about me tasting you, licking you, being inside you,” he said, his hand slowly moving farther inward, until it cupped her center, “tells me all I need to know.”
Isa was nearly panting with need. She jumped off the couch. Setting her drink down, she grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs while he chuckled. They made it to his bedroom where she locked the door, shutting everything out for a little while—a sanctuary from their responsibilities and grief.
It was just the two of them, using their bodies to communicate in shadowed silence.
Chapter 22
On the Friday of Halloween Isa was cleaning up lunch while Max napped when a knock sounded at the door.
“Harper and Mila are here!” she said, heading to let them in. Joy rushed to hold Isa’s leg, eyeing Harper warily when Isa opened the door.
“Hey! I brought stuff to make Halloween cookies. Can I come in?” Harper asked, looking at the two big brown eyes staring up at her.
Joy smiled shyly and nodded, still hanging on to Isa.
Harper entered wearing a sleeping Mila on her back. Isa grabbed the bag from her hands and set it on the counter before they embraced.
“Joy, why don’t you go wash your hands in the bathroom while I get this set up,” Isa directed. The little girl listened and skipped down the hall.
Harper checked that she was out of earshot before she asked, “How are the kids holding up?”
“Max is too young to really understand. Joy has her hard days, but she is doing better than I would have thought possible. Kids are resilient,” Isa explained, setting out the cookie dough and cutters.
“How about Ethan?”
Isa shrugged. “He keeps to himself a lot. He doesn’t really talk to me about it much. I just try to help lessen his load with everything.”
Joy came in, ending their conversation. They started rolling out the sugar cookie dough and Joy helped cut it into shapes.
As the ghosts, witch hats, brooms, and monster cookies baked in the oven, Harper asked Joy, “What are you going to be for Halloween?”
“I’m gonna be a monarch butterfly. They have a short life cycle. They only live for a few weeks. They travel over two thousand miles just to lay eggs and then they die,” Joy explained, dipping the finger of her bandaged hand in the frosting.
“Oh, wow. They are beautiful, aren’t they?” Harper asked.
“Yup, but they are poisonous to birds and other creatures who would try to eat them.”
Isa caught Harper’s eyes and explained, “Joy is a huge fan of Wild Kratts on PBS.”
“Oh, I’ll have to show that to Mila when she is older.” Harper nodded.
“Why don’t I put it on for you right now until the cookies are ready to decorate?” Isa suggested to Joy.
“Yes!”
After she had the little girl set up with her show, she joined Harper in the kitchen where she was seated, nursing Mila by the table.
“How are you doing with all of this?”
Harper asked.
“I’m doing okay. It’s a lot, but he needs me.”
“You are the most kind and loyal person I know. I just want to make sure you’re also thinking of your self-care too,” Harper said, meeting Isa’s eyes.
“I know.”
“You don’t like commitment. I love you like a sister, you are my best friend, but this even seems like too much for me. You must really care about him,” Harper added.
“I do. You know, our relationship was complicated from the start. It was fake. We were pretending to be in one to get you and Jax off our backs.”
Harper gasped. “What?”
“After my trip to the hospital, we decided our payback would be to pretend we were falling madly in love and then tell you all after the wedding that you were duped.”
“Why didn’t you?” Harper asked.
“Because we pretended too well. We both began to fall for each other. We have this amazing sexual chemistry that is unlike anything I have ever felt before. The night of the wedding, he told me if he kissed me it would be for real.”
Harper smiled. “That’s so romantic.”
“He makes me feel something I have never felt before. He’s a good man. You trust him. Jax and River trust him. The more I get to know him, the more I believe that . . .”
“That what?” Harper asked, leaning forward.
“That this could work.”
“No way! Isa Grayson, I never thought I would see the day!” Harper exclaimed as her smile widened.
“That I would commit to a relationship?” Isa clarified.
“No, that you would fall in love.”
Love. The word she was unable to say aloud to him brought mixed emotions that welled up inside her. If she loved him, did that make her weak like her mother?
“Girl, you two were made for each other. The way he looks at you. The way you look at him when you think no one is watching. I saw it at the inn. I knew it! You said yourself he is a good man, trusted by us. You look like you might throw up though,” Harper said, her expression worried.