The Crucible- The Complete Series

by Odette C. Bell

  He looked at me. Slowly he smiled.

  I took a shuddering breath and used every ounce of determination I had not to take a step back. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “You will not walk away from this battle with those implants. They too will be destroyed by the endgame weapon.”

  I stood.

  I stared.

  And my thoughts crashed around me.

  … I wouldn’t walk away from this battle as a telekinetic warrior?

  For the past five years my life had been ruled by the implants lodged in my elbows and my dependency on 78. Everything I’d done, everything I’d become was all because of that Forgotten technology.

  Now Axis was telling me that in under 48 hours that wouldn’t be me anymore.

  No more implants. No more power.

  No more dependency.

  My expression crumpled, a kind of surrender washing over my features, paling my cheeks and gently parting my lips.

  This was everything I’d ever dreamt of.

  I’d get my life back.

  I jerked my gaze up and locked it on Axis just in time to hear him let out a soft chuckle. “What are you thinking, my dear?”

  “Are you… are you sure? My implants will be disabled? Forever?”

  “Yes. They will become inoperable.”

  “So I’ll be free? Once I defeat the Forgotten, I’ll be free?” Despite my every effort, true hope echoed through my tone, my eyes widening in clear desperation.

  Axis held my gaze for several seconds. “No. You’ll be dead.”

  ….

  Silence. Silence rang in my mind, expanding to fill every space of my consciousness.

  My mouth became so dry it felt as if I’d choke. “What?”

  “The effort required to hold back the Forgotten and deploy the endgame weapon will likely kill you, my dear. And even if it doesn’t, the dependence on 78 will. After this battle and the energy you expend, your dependency will increase exponentially. There will not be enough 78 in existence to keep you alive. And even if there were, you would require such massive doses that they would become toxic to your system.”

  His words crashed around me like violent waves from a storm.

  I took a step back and another. I shouldn’t recede from him, but couldn’t help it. Nor could I control my expression as it cracked, fear escaping through my shifting gaze and trembling lips. “What?”

  “You’re dependency on 78 cannot be reversed. It will also increase once you expend the amount of energy required to defeat the Forgotten. It was always our plan that you would die during the final battle.”

  “Your… your plan?” I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. But I couldn’t turn away either.

  “Only someone willing to give everything they have – including their life – will be able to save the galaxy in this final hour. We always knew that.”

  “You… you programmed me to die?”

  “We programmed you to save.”

  “No,” I suddenly spat, voice ringing through the expansive room and punching off the walls in a violent echo, “no, you’re lying. There’s something you can do. There has to be. You’re just manipulating me again.”

  One half of his mouth curled into another hateful smile. If I could extend a hand and wipe his lips from his face, I would.

  “You’re lying,” I said again through gritted teeth, so much tension welling in my throat it felt as if I would never swallow again.

  “I’m not lying, my dear. I am telling you the truth. It is time to learn it. You will not come out of this battle with the Forgotten. Alive, at least. You will however come out as a legend. For you alone would have saved the galaxy in its final hour. It is a good way to die,” he assured me blandly.

  No emotion. No regret. No fear, no sorrow. Axis did not change his easy expression as he handed down my death sentence.

  I started to shake. It was soft at first, then the convulsions tore through my shoulders and down my back.

  I watched him narrow his eyes. “Control yourself, Subject Omega. If this little emotional shock is enough to undo you, then you are not ready to face the Forgotten and claim your destiny.”

  “I don’t have a destiny,” I screamed, voice pitching through my throat. “This is all a lie. It’s all a lie,” I said, trying to comfort myself as I wrapped my arms around my middle, pressing my elbows against my sides, “and you’re lying. You’re lying.”

  “No,” he said simply. He stood there with his hands clasped neatly together, an easy smile pressed over his lips. “This was never going to be easy, Alyssa. To win, we must all make sacrifices.”

  “Don’t you say that. Don’t you dare say that,” spite tore through my tone as I jerked my head back and stared at him, “what sacrifices have you ever made, Axis? You stand there and dictate what others will give up. You’re a monster.”

  “I am necessary. You require men like me when you face a threat like this. Do not let your precious morals cloud your vision. There are times when you face threats so great you must sacrifice in order to win.”

  “Stop saying that. Stop saying that.” I brought a hand up and pressed it against my face, fingers digging into my hairline, sweaty tendrils of fringe slicing across my eyes.

  He took a step towards me and another. Before I knew it he reached a hand out and placed it on my shoulder.

  Though my first instinct was to jerk back from him, extend a hand, and use my power to send him spiraling across the room, I couldn’t.

  “You were always going to die, Alyssa. Accept that fact and save the galaxy.”

  Chapter 2

  Lieutenant Commander Nathan Shepherd

  It was a cramped ship. We’d given up space for speed.

  Ja'xal was right by my side taking up tactical and navigations. Lady Argoza sat behind, and I took up the piloting station. My father was situated in the tiny reinforced cell on the other side of the bridge.

  Though I didn’t turn from my seat, I caught Argoza’s reflection as she turned for about the 20th time to stare at my father.

  My father stared right back, hands arranged neatly in his lap, expression the same cold hard unreadable mask it always was.

  “This isn’t safe. We shouldn’t be relying on him,” Argoza said under her breath.

  I wanted to ignore it. I didn’t want to go through this again. We had to concentrate on the mission. Nothing would be more important in our lives than what we did next.

  But when she muttered her disquiet once more, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

  I placed a hand on the smooth console before me, used it as traction, and pushed myself around in my seat. “He’s behind a force field. He won’t be able to escape.”

  “That’s not what I mean. He shouldn’t be on this mission. We can’t trust him. Shepherd, we can’t trust him.”

  I gritted my teeth, feeling the tension snake down my jaw and sink deep into my chest.

  I was a man of action. A soldier. Not a diplomat. I didn’t want to be here drumming up support from the pirates and the rest of the disparate Star Forces. I needed to be by Alyssa’s side preparing for the fight.

  Argoza turned her stunning gaze on me, her eyes growing wide as she shifted forward in her seat. “Your father won’t help us, Nathan. He will only position the Star Forces so that when this is all over they will reclaim the galaxy once more.”

  I gritted my jaw harder. But before I could open my mouth and repeat my argument for the thousandth time, my father gave a derisive snort from across the room.

  Argoza span in her seat, the long fabric of her sleeves crumpling around her elbows. “Stay quiet, prisoner. There is nothing you can say, nothing you can do to manipulate us.”

  “It’s not me I would worry about, my lady,” my father said smoothly, never removing his hands from his lap nor his calculating gaze from Argoza.

  This wasn’t what I’d signed up for. For the love of God, the galaxy was on the line and these two were using it as a chance to
bicker.

  “Silence,” Argoza said as she shifted around in her seat and tipped her head back regally. “There is nothing you can say to undermine us.”

  “Indeed,” my father replied easily, “I have no intention of undermining anyone, my lady. You have already done that for us.”

  I watched Argoza pale.

  “Shut up, you treacherous bastard,” Ja'xal snapped, finally shifting around in his seat.

  My father didn’t react. A raging bull could be a centimeter from his face and he wouldn’t blink. Plus, he knew there was no way I was going to let either Argoza or John hurt him.

  “Alright, people. Calm down,” I tried.

  “Tell me, John, isn’t it? When did the Elogian Factions reach out to you?” my father asked.

  Ja'xal looked confused, but Argoza stiffened. I watched her reaction with keen interest.

  “Do you honestly think the Star Forces didn’t know of the true origins of the resistance? We have always known the extent of the Elogian’s power. And at any time, we could have crushed it,” my father said casually as if he were discussing nothing more interesting than the weather.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Ja'xal snapped.

  Argoza remained silent, eyes wide open as she stared at my father.

  I stared at her.

  My father leaned forward in his seat, face coming perilously close to the force field that separated his tiny cell from the rest of the room. “You may have thought you were subverting the Star Forces. You weren’t. We used you as a method of mapping the discontent across the galaxy. You were far more effective at rooting out traitors than we were.”

  “Shut up.” Ja'xal threatened to snap to his feet.

  I put a hand out to settle him. “Just calm down.” Though a part of me wanted to see how this would pan out, I knew this would be an awfully long trip if I let my father continue to bait Argoza. So I made a few adjustments on the primary control panel and the force field adjusted to block out sound.

  I saw him move his lips several times, but he quickly realized his voice could no longer project. He settled back against his metal seat, clasped his hands neatly in front of himself again, and looked right at me.

  I held his gaze for a few seconds until I forced myself to turn and concentrate on piloting the vessel.

  Every now and then I deliberately looked up and caught Argoza’s reflection.

  She was flustered. Angry maybe. Caught even?

  … So my father had been telling the truth after all. She really was part of the Elogian Factions.

  ….

  At any other point in history that would have shocked me. Now I barely noted the fact as a curiosity as I went back to piloting the ship.

  The Elogian Factions probably wouldn’t exist in a few hours. If they did, we’d sort through their crimes when the time came to it.

  For now all we could do was struggle on.

  …

  Alyssa Nightingale

  There were no words to describe my shock.

  Or maybe I wasn’t shocked.

  Maybe Axis was right. I’d never truly thought I would live through this.

  I’d never imagined a salvation pure and strong enough that could save someone like me.

  … No, that was wrong. I’d never imagined it until I’d met Shepherd.

  Now it felt as if my future would be stolen from me.

  A future I’d barely had the opportunity to explore.

  I’d pulled myself from the research facility, running from the room, incapable of facing Axis.

  I had to sort through the swirl of emotions before I returned to him. Unless I could control my anger and fear, I would be unable to control my power.

  So I walked through the corridors, staring at the various crew as they flitted past, desperately completing their tasks in the time allotted to them.

  As I wandered the corridors, I came across the Chief. She was knee deep in a large access tunnel revealed by a gaping hole in the floor.

  She looked up as I approached.

  “I realize it was a hell of a fight taking on the Star Forces and the Forgotten, but goddammit, Nightingale, you’re a force of nature. It’s gonna take me every minute we have to get this ship in fighting order.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “You’re forgiven. You saved all our lives, after all. Now hand me that hyper wrench.”

  I got down on my knee, grabbed the correct wrench, and gave it to her. Then I stood back. The Chief was clearly busy, and reason told me I should leave her alone.

  I didn’t.

  I lingered.

  She looked up, sweat and grime marking her brow and all six of her hands. “I might have grumbled, but Lieutenant, don’t let that make you think I don’t appreciate how hard this is for you.” She looked right at me. “We all appreciate what you’ve gone through and what you have to go through. And we’re all thankful.”

  I shivered, drawing a quick breath through my nostrils. “It’s fine.”

  The Chief let out a hearty chuckle. “Fine? Are you in the same death-defying situation as I am? Because nothing is fine. These gel packs are ruined, for one.” She brought up two ruptured gel packs and threw them in disgust onto the floor. “You don’t have to put on a brave face, Alyssa.”

  “Yeah I do. Trust me, I do. You don’t want to see my real expression right now,” I shouldn’t have said a word, but I couldn’t stop myself.

  The Chief had ducked back down into the access panel, but now she raised her head slowly and stared at me. “I’m not a counsellor. I’m an engineer. I’ve also had a very long career. I’ve been through fraught situations before, situations when reason tells you there’s nothing you can do and all is lost. So far reason has always been wrong, because you never know how a chaotic situation is going to unfold until you get there. Maybe you’re telling yourself there’s no way now, Alyssa, but there is a way. There’s always a way. The universe is an indeterminate system. Nothing is set in stone.”

  “But it’s also a probabilistic system. And I have no chance…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Instead I let my gaze lock on the leaking gel packs on the floor by my feet. I could tell the Chief was watching me. I should have been controlling my expression, but for the life of me, I couldn’t. Why bother? Win or lose, in 24 hours I’d be dead anyway.

  I felt my cheeks paling.

  The Chief hauled herself out of the access shaft, her boots squelching through the broken gel pack. She didn’t say anything, she just stood by my side.

  “I’m going to die down on that planet,” I admitted in a soft tone that barely carried beyond my lips.

  “Maybe,” the Chief conceded.

  That’s not what she was meant to say. She was meant to tell me it would all be okay. With hope and grit and a chance, we’d make it through this.

  But the Chief, first and foremost, was an engineer. A pragmatist. I imagine she knew the odds better than anyone.

  “We all die sometime, Alyssa. That’s the nature of being alive. None of us have a guarantee that this will go on forever. Everything ends.”

  “What’s the point then?” Again my voice was little more than a harsh whisper.

  “The point is, you get to decide. How you go. What you live for. What you stand for,” her voice reverberated on the word stand. “You can’t control what happens to you in life. You can’t control chance and probability. But you can control your reactions to them. I know this isn’t what you want to hear. You want to hear that everything will work out. I can’t promise that. In all honesty, I doubt it will. But if you’re worried about dying, Alyssa, then embrace your fear, it’ll help you find out what you’re scared of losing. And from that, you’ll find what it is you live for. And that’ll be what you’re willing to die for, too. Maybe you’re right, and you won’t live through this. Maybe you’re wrong, and you will. But you keep that goal in mind and you live and die for what you believe in, and it won't matter.”

  I stared at
her, slowly processing what she’d said.

  She reached out two arms and clapped her hands on my shoulders. “That was a dose of reality. Now for the pep talk. None of us can predict what will happen when we take on the Forgotten. This situation is chaotic and unknown. Even if we win, we have no idea what shape that victory will take. Our Armada could be obliterated, or we could come through this just fine and mine the remaining Forgotten technology to create a better future. We don’t know. That’s the point. And that’s what you’ve gotta hold onto.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t be scared of uncertainty. Embrace it. Look for opportunities as they arise. Don’t lock yourself up with the belief you know what will happen next. React. Think and react. That’s what they taught us in the Star Forces, and the only lesson they gave worth holding onto. Think and react. You’ll find a way.”

  I stared at her evenly. The knot of self-loathing and fear that had coalesced in my gut started to shift.

  The Chief grinned. “And while you’re here, if you don’t mind taking off that section of wall from that panel over there to that service duct,” she pointed, “I’d be much obliged.

  I couldn’t help but laugh.

  I obliged, activating my implants and shifting the wall out of the way.

  “That’s the way, Lieutenant. Now if you keep acting like that, we’ll get through this. You’ve gotta remember, you’re not in this alone. We’re in this together. We will all watch each other’s backs, and we won’t give up. And even if you can’t find a way, someone else will. That’s what happens when you’re part of a team – you rely on everyone around you. You fall back on them and they fall back on you. And with all those eyes and hearts and ears and minds, we will find a way. Trust me.”

  I looked at her and nodded. “I trust you.”

  “Great, but I just realized I didn’t need that wall open after all. Can you put it back?”

  I chuckled and obliged.

  Then I left the Chief alone and walked back to Axis.

  I was ready to face my destiny as he kept calling it. Because the Chief had given me perspective. This wasn’t just my destiny, was it?

  It was everyone’s. And she was right. Maybe I couldn’t see any way out of this right now, but I wasn’t alone. If I did my part and others did theirs, maybe we’d see our way through this war.