This Love (This Boy Book 3)

by Jenna Scott

  “Why would I do that? You‘ve wanted this for a long time now.”

  I am shock and rage and disgust and fear and yet all I can do is freeze, my skin crawling with the realization that he’s touching parts of me that I don’t want to share with him.

  “Let me go,” I try again, praying he’ll give up. But all my struggling has somehow made it worse, and now my skirt is up around my waist and he’s wedged himself between my legs. Finally I find my volume and yell, “Stop it, Luke!”

  “Are you going to keep fighting me, or should I tie you up? Or maybe that’s how you like it. Is that why this guy keeps coming back? Because you’re kinky?”

  He tugs the top of the dress down and grabs my breast, squeezing so hard I cry out in pain, finally removing his hand to undo his belt buckle. His pants slide to the floor, the buckle clinking against the hardwood, and it feels like I’m leaving my body.

  “Just relax,” he says. “I’m gonna make you feel good.”

  “Please don’t,” I beg him, but it’s too late.

  Luke’s body weight is fully on top of me, heavy and suffocating, and he’s pulling at the waistband of my underwear as tears leak from the corners of my eyes.

  The next second, he’s lifted off me, his body slamming into the wall.

  “You fucking piece of shit!” Hunter’s roaring, fist around Luke’s collar, pinning him against the wall as Luke crouches on the floor where he fell.

  I sit up, gasping for breath. I’m weeping and shaking all over. My legs are weak as I scramble off the bed, tugging my skirt back down. There’s one thing repeating in my mind, over and over again: Hunter just saved me.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Hunter

  I’ve never wanted to literally kill somebody before now, but there’s a first time for everything.

  There have been some close calls, for sure—I wanted to punch the living daylights out of Ortega when I saw him dancing with Milla at spring formal. And I’ve wanted to kick the ass of everyone who’s ever hurt her. But what I saw when I busted into Luke’s hotel room shot past all that and took my fury to newfound heights. Thank God I’d heard their voices through the wall, or else I wouldn’t have had my ear to the door in time to hear Milla yelling for the guy to stop.

  I flung open the adjoining door and crossed the room in two strides, already taking in the stomach-turning sight of her trying to kick him off, begging him to stop, eyes all wet with tears. I grabbed him by the collar and threw him into the wall on autopilot. I wasn’t even thinking. Just running on rage and adrenaline and pure instinct.

  This piece of shit might be bigger and stronger than Milla, but he’s got nothing on me. Before he can get up off the floor and shake himself out of his daze, I get my arm pressed against his neck to keep the motherfucker still.

  “What the fuck—” he starts, but before he can even get out a full sentence, I punch him in the mouth, my fist connecting hard with lips and teeth.

  “Hunter!” Milla says. I barely hear her.

  All I see is red, and douchebag Luke’s face, which my fists are intent on destroying.

  I’ve got Luke’s shirt in one fist, my other fist raining down with violence. I want to smash his face in, deform him so everyone can see the monster that he really is. Beat him to the point that no person will want to even look at him. That way he’ll never have the chance to do this to another girl. And he definitely won’t do it to Milla.

  My hand hurts, and I think my knuckles are split, but I barely notice the pain. I keep hearing Milla screaming Stop it, Luke, and then please don’t, her voice gone devoid of all emotion, like she’d already accepted what was about to happen. That’s the part that gets me the most. That she couldn’t fight back and she knew it. But I can.

  I’m cussing as I hit this guy, barely aware of the words coming out of my mouth, but I start to slow up as I realize Milla is sobbing behind me right now.

  “Hunter, please,” she says, tugging at my shoulder.

  I’m a man possessed. I have to make this right. Especially because I know this is all my fault. I walked out of that party and left her on her own because I was jealous of her professor. Jealous that she was laughing and smiling at other men. Already pushed to my breaking point after that visit from my mom, expecting to run into Milla’s arms and be comforted, but instead hit with the realization that she was having a great time without me, that we might not even be together anymore. I just lost it.

  Once I got up to her hotel room and had some time to sit and think, I realized how stupid I’d been. I was all ready to talk things out with her the second she came back to the room, admit that I’d been wrong, apologize to her properly. Beg her to take me back, despite the fact that I’d already blown my last chance with her.

  Instead, I heard voices coming from the room next door, raised voices—and the more I listened, the more I got the impression that something bad was happening. Obviously, I recognized Milla’s voice, even through the wall. I’d know that sound anywhere. Thank God I busted in when I did. But this never would have happened if I’d just stayed by her side at the party. I should have stayed. I should have stayed.

  Suddenly, warm hands close around my bicep, tugging insistently to stop me.

  “Hunter, enough. You need to get off him now,” Milla says calmly, like she’s trying to talk me down off a ledge. “He’s bleeding. He’s going to end up in the hospital if you don’t stop.”

  My fist drops. “Maybe that’s where he belongs,” I say, but my voice is ragged.

  I let go of Luke’s shirt and he sags against the wall, head lolling back. His mouth is swollen, lower lip split and bleeding. He’s groaning in pain. Good.

  With the back of his hand, he wipes blood off his mouth. “I’m going to press charges against you, you psycho.”

  I have to laugh. “Please do. I’d be happy to tell a judge exactly why I punched your face in.”

  Luke spits out, “It’s my word against yours—”

  Beside me, Milla goes still. “And mine, too. I’d love to testify against you.” Her voice is still trembling, and so is the rest of her, but her tone stays firm.

  He looks at her, one of his eyes already swelling shut. “This was all a misunderstanding, Camilla.”

  “Bullshit!” I snarl in his face. “You deserve to fucking die.”

  “He’s not worth your energy, Hunter,” Milla says. “He’s trash. Let’s go.”

  “Milla…” I say, but she pulls me to my feet and leads me to the door back to her hotel room.

  Before we go through, she turns back to Luke and says coldly, “From now on, you’re going to stay the fuck away from me. And if I were you, I’d e-mail the professor and tell him you left LA tonight to go home for a family emergency. It’s so bad, you might even have to drop his class. Do you understand?”

  Luke just nods, and as crazy as it sounds, my heart swells with pride over the way Milla’s handling this prick.

  “You got lucky tonight,” I tell him, and then we’re back in Milla’s room, triple locking the adjoining door.

  The adrenaline rush is starting to ebb, but I’m still breathing hard. Now that Luke isn’t in front of me, my anger has nowhere to go but toward myself. I’m pacing in the narrow area between the bed and the TV, unable to keep still, the emotions still too strong and volatile.

  “Who the fuck does he think he is?” My eyes are burning and my heart throbs, fast and painful, against my rib cage. “You said no. You were trying to fight him off. And that piece of shit still—”

  Then, I hear a sob.

  Milla’s sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped and shaking. I go to her and drop onto the mattress beside her, wrapping my arms around her.

  “I’m so sorry, Milla. I can’t believe something bad almost happened to you,” I say, my voice breaking. “I shouldn’t have left you—”

  She brings her forehead to rest against mine. “You can’t keep me safe all the time. It’s physically impossible. But you stopped
him, and that’s what matters.” She brushes her knuckles across my cheek. “I love that you want to protect me. I love knowing you’d never do anything like that. But right now I just really need a hug.”

  I bring her tighter against me, letting her bury her head in the curve of my neck as she weeps.

  How much time passes with us like this, I’m not sure.

  “I’m glad you came back,” she finally whispers, fresh tears starting to fall.

  I shake my head and kiss her gently, over and over. “I’m never leaving you again.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Camilla

  Since Hunter refuses to go to an Urgent Care, I call down to the concierge and have a first aid kid sent up to the room. We get ice from the machine down the hall and I make him an ice pack with a plastic bag and a hand towel, but first I clean up his split knuckles, swipe them with antibiotic cream, and wrap them in gauze. I’m still half in disbelief over everything that just happened, but seeing his raw flesh makes the nightmare feel real. That and the slamming of Luke’s door out in the hallway when he leaves the hotel a few minutes later. I hope he doesn’t come back.

  To think what could’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped Hunter when I did.

  “You make a pretty good nurse,” he says as I arrange the ice pack on his hand.

  “You didn’t need to beat the shit out of him,” I say, shaking my head. “Please don’t risk lawsuits and jail time for me.”

  “But he—”

  “Getting him off me and throwing a punch would’ve been fine. But you went at him so hard, I thought we might have to hide a body tonight. You scared me.”

  “You’d help me hide a body?” he asks with a tiny hint of a smile.

  “Depending on why we have a body to hide in the first place, yes. I’d consider it.” I pack up the first aid kit and set it on the desk, then get in bed next to him.

  Hunter rolls to his side so we’re facing each other. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry about everything. I love you. I want you to be happy and safe with me.”

  I let his words warm me, along with the rest of him, before I ask, “Is that why you came to LA? To tell me you want to be with me?”

  He takes a long, deep sigh. “That and…other reasons.”

  “You know that vague answer is not going to cut it, right? I’m happy you’re here, but you disappeared all week. I wasn’t even sure if we were broken up or not.”

  “We’re not broken up,” he says. “I mean, I don’t want to be.”

  “I don’t either,” I admit. Hunter reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. It’s a comforting gesture. “Why didn’t you at least call or text or something?”

  He shakes his head. “Because I’m an idiot. I guess I was waiting around for you to realize that all I wanted was to protect you from exactly the kind of shit that happened tonight. When really I should have just apologized for being a dick and explained why I was so upset about this trip to begin with.”

  “That would have been a good move,” I tell him. “You could have come with.”

  “I know. Instead, I spent all week moping around, worrying about you and how you were going to be down in LA with your teacher, wondering if we were still together. So when I got a knock on my door this afternoon, I figured you changed your mind and came over to talk. But it was…” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Camilla, my mom showed up.”

  My eyes go wide, and something in my stomach twists. “What? Why? How?”

  “Exactly. I was surprised, too.” He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “But I opened my door, and there she was, looking like absolute shit. So, safe to assume she’s still using. We talked for a few minutes, but the whole thing was just…sad.”

  “Hunter…” I rest my hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry. That must have been so hard.”

  “I don’t know why I’m disappointed,” he confesses. “I guess part of me thought that she might’ve gotten clean at some point. That she came to see me because she wanted to reconnect. Or apologize, or explain even. But all she did was drop hints about how much money my dad must have, and how much she’s struggling. I’m sure it’s hard to hold down a job and build a life for yourself when you’re a drug addict. I just wish she’d get help.”

  “God.” I rest my forehead against his shoulder. “So that’s why you drove all the way here. No wonder. You must have been freaking out. You had to get away.”

  He nods. “And to see you. All I kept thinking was that you always make me feel better, no matter what. You remind me that there are still good things in my life.”

  Gently, I push Hunter onto his back and then climb over him so I can lay my head on his chest. His arms come up around me and we don’t do anything but breathe for a while. When I look up, I see his eyes are wet from silently letting tears roll down. The boy can’t even let himself cry, he’s so used to keeping everything all bottled up.

  “It’s okay, Hunter,” I whisper. “I’m here.”

  “You shouldn’t be. I don’t deserve you.”

  I sit up and grab a tissue from the nightstand, then gently blot the tears at the corners of his eyes while he stares up at the ceiling.

  “I want to be with you,” I tell him. “But we have to figure some stuff out first. Together.”

  “What stuff?” he asks. His voice sounds steadier now that we’re talking about us and not his mother.

  “First of all, you can’t always be acting on your feelings first without communicating with me. I know you have these jealous instincts and you don’t trust people, but it hurts me. It hurts us. Earlier tonight, you embarrassed me in front of a room full of people that I respect and admire…”

  “I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t done that. I promise, I won’t do anything like that again,” Hunter says.

  Tears prickle my eyes again, and I clear my throat. “The worst part is, you were wrong about my professor. All you had to go on was paranoia and your own insecurity. How can I ever look him in the eye again? He saw the whole stupid argument. Meanwhile I’m still his TA, I still have to go to class. Did you ever think about that?”

  “I didn’t think much at all,” he says, ashamed. Then he says hesitantly, “Are you sure you want to keep TAing if that douchebag is going to be there too?”

  That spikes a burning cold anger in me. “I need the TAship to help pay for tuition. And I’m not dropping my favorite class because of that asshole. We don’t work together much anyway. Laurens keeps our assignments separate.”

  Hunter purses his lips. “If Luke so much as looks your way…”

  “I don’t think he’ll be stupid enough to try anything like that again.” I settle back down into Hunter’s arms and turn his head so we’re looking at each other. “But Luke’s not my biggest problem right now. And I’m not the only person you need to apologize to.”

  “If you think I’m apologizing to that shitbag…”

  “You need to apologize to Professor Laurens.”

  A groan rattles Hunter’s throat. “Fine. But only because I love you.”

  This is a start, at least. Proof that he’s going to try to make up for the mistakes of tonight, try to be the person I need him to be in this relationship. And that’s enough for now. But it doesn’t fix his underlying jealousy, his abandonment issues, his avoidant tendencies. These things will take longer for us to work through. Especially with his mom popping up out of nowhere—who knows when it might happen again? How much more she’ll put him through? It’s obvious that his abandonment issues stem from her, and I can understand how seeing her again triggered Hunter into acting so rashly.

  I need him to know that if it’s up to me, I won’t ever leave him.

  “Listen, Hunter,” I say, caressing his cheek. “I’m going to say something to you, and I need you to know that I mean it. Really, really mean it. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I kiss him softly on the lips and then say, “I will always be here for you. Any day, any time.
No matter what. Even if we’re not together in the future. I will always love you and care about you, and I want you to know that I’m your lifeline if you need me. I want to be your rock.”

  “And I want to be yours,” he says.

  We snuggle for a while longer, until the exhaustion of today catches up to me, and I yawn. “We should try to get some sleep.”

  He helps me out of my dress and we take a quick hot shower together, both of us desperate to wash the day off. Once I’m in my pajamas, he climbs into bed beside me in his boxers and we curl up together. It’s almost two in the morning and we’re both completely exhausted.

  Although I’m still shaken up from the whole ordeal with Luke, having Hunter next to me brings stillness to my heart. I hope I can do the same for him.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Camilla

  Luke never did reappear for the rest of the book awards weekend, but Hunter kept close to the hotel to keep me company and to be my ride home on Sunday. As for me, I had an amazing time seeing panels featuring some of my favorite authors and meeting a few more of Professor Laurens’ former students and colleagues. Sunday morning, Hunter got up early so he could come to the lobby Starbucks with me to meet up with—and apologize to—Professor Laurens. Then Deena and Miriam joined us for breakfast before we all had to head back to our real lives, and I have to say that Hunter made a pretty good impression.

  Our drive back up to Stanford is mostly quiet, and during our time on the road, I let Hunter convince me to stay over at his place. Granted, it doesn’t take much convincing. Once we’re cuddled up on his couch, I feel like I’ll never get up again.

  Every time I think about the Luke thing, I feel sick. I don’t know if he’ll switch out of Laurens’ class, but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to be able to stand sitting in the same room as him. Hunter wants me to press charges, but I’m still mulling it over.