Obryv. English

by Ivan Aleksandrovich Goncharov

  CHAPTER XXIX

  When Tatiana Markovna returned from the ferry she sat down to work ather accounts, but soon laid them aside, and dismissed the servants. Sheasked for Raisky, who had gone over to see Koslov because he did notwant to be left alone with his aunt. She sent across to ask Vera whethershe was coming to dinner. Vera said that she would rather stay in herroom and go to bed early.

  In the courtyard a scene by no means unusual was being enacted. Savilihad nearly broken Marina's back with a severe beating because he hadseen her slipping out at dawn from the room in which Vikentev's servantwas quartered. She hid herself in the fields and the vegetable garden,but at last she emerged, thinking that he would have forgotten. Hestruck her with the whip while she sought refuge in one corner afteranother, swearing by all that was sacred that the devil had taken on herfigure and had made a fool of him. But when he exchanged the whip forthe stick she cried out aloud at the first blow and fell at his feet. "Iam guilty," she cried, begging for mercy. She promised not to transgressagain, calling God to witness of her sincerity. Thereupon Savili threwaway the stick and wiped his face with his sleeve.

  "You may go this time," he said, "since you have confessed, and sinceyou call God to witness."

  Tatiana Markovna was informed of this proceeding, but she only wrinkledher forehead, and made a sign to Vassilissa not to be too severe withMarina.

  There were visitors to dinner who had heard of Vera's indisposition andhad come to inquire. Tatiana Markovna spoke of a chill, suffering allthe time from her insincerity, since she did not know what was the truththat lay behind this feigned illness. She had not dared to send for thedoctor, who would have immediately seen that it was a moral, not aphysical malady.

  She ate no supper; Tiet Nikonich politely said that he had no appetiteeither. Then came Raisky, who also wanted no supper, but sat silently attable pretending not to notice the glances which Tatiana Markovnadirected towards him from time to time.

  When Tiet Nikonich had made his bow and departed, Tatiana Markovnaprepared to retire. She hardly looked at Raisky when she bade himgood-night, because her affections and her self-esteem were both toodeeply wounded. A secret and serious misfortune had befallen the family,but she was left on one side like a stranger, as if she were a useless,incapable woman. Raisky said in a low voice that he must speak with her.

  "Bad news?" she whispered, shivering and looking fixedly at him beforeshe passed with him into her own room. She dropped into her old chairand pushed the lamp farther away, first covering it with a shade, sothat the room was dimly lighted. Raisky began his tale as cautiously aspossible, but his lips trembled and now and again his tongue refused itsoffice, but he collected all his strength and went on, although towardsthe end of his story his voice was hardly audible.

  Dawn had come, but throughout the long hours Tatiana Markovna had satmotionless and speechless with bowed head, giving vent now and then to alow moan. Raisky fell on his knees before her and implored her, "Go toVera's help."

  "She has sent too late for Grandmother. God will go to her help. Spareher and console her as you know how to do. She no longer has aGrandmother," she said, going towards the door.

  "Grandmother, what is the matter with you?" cried Raisky barring her way.

  "You have no longer a Grandmother," she said absently. "Go, go." As hedid not obey, she cried angrily, "Don't come here. I will see no one.You must all of you leave me in peace." He would have replied, but shemade an impatient gesture with her hand. "Go to her," she continued."Help her as far as you can. Grandmother can do nothing: you have nolonger a Grandmother."

  She made another gesture with her hand, so imperious this time that hewent without further parley, but he concealed himself in the yard andwatched her window. Tatiana Markovna sank back in her chair and closedher eyes, and for a long time she remained there, cold and stiff as ifshe were a dead woman. Raisky, who had not gone to bed, and Vassilissaand Yakob as well, saw Tatiana Markovna with her head uncovered and herTurkish shawl thrown round her shoulders leave the house in the earlymorning and go out into the garden. It was as if a bronze figure haddescended from its pedestal and had begun to walk.

  She passed through the flower garden and then through the avenue to theprecipice; then, striding slowly along, with her head held high andwithout looking round, she went down the face of the cliff, anddisappeared. Concealing his presence in the trees, Raisky hurried afterher, following her as she passed deeper and deeper down the precipiceand until she reached the arbour, where she paused. Raisky came closer,and held his breath as he listened to Tatiana Markovna's heavy sighs,and then heard her whisper, "My sin." With her hands above her head shewalked hastily on, until she came to the bank of the river and stoodstill. The wind wound her dress round her ankles, disordered her hair,and tugged at her shawl, but she noticed nothing. A terrible idea dawnedon Raisky that she intended to drown herself. But his aunt turned backas she had come, with slow strides which left deep prints in the dampsand. Raisky breathed more freely; but when, following her track in aparallel direction, he caught sight of her face, he held his breath inhorror at the agony he saw written there. She had spoken truly, theirgrandmother existed no longer. This was not grandmother, not TatianaMarkovna, the warm-hearted mistress of Malinovka, where the life andprosperity of the whole place depended on her, the wise and happy rulerof her little kingdom. It was as if she were not walking of her ownaccord but was driven on by an impulse exterior to herself, asunconscious of her movements she climbed the steep hill through thebrushwood, with her shawl hanging down from her shoulders dragging itscorners in the dust; her eyes, from which stony horror looked forth,were unwinking; her manner was that of a moonstruck woman. Raisky foundit difficult to follow her. She paused once, leaning both hands on atree. "My sin," she exclaimed again. "How heavy is the burden! If it isnot lightened, I can bear it no longer." She began again to climbquickly up the hill, surmounting the difficulties of the steep pathwith unnatural strength and leaving tags of her dress and her shawlbehind her in the bushes.

  Overcome with amazement and horror, Raisky watched this new strangewoman. He knew that only great souls conquer heavy trouble with strengthlike hers. They have wings like eagles to soar into the clouds and eagleeyes to gaze into the abyss. This was not his grandmother; she seemed tohim to be one of those feminine figures which emerge from the familycircle in the supreme moments of life under the heavy blows of fate, whobear great misfortunes majestically and are not overwhelmed. He saw inher a Jewess of the olden days, a noble woman of Jerusalem, who scornsthe prophecy that her people will lose their fame and their honour tothe Romans, but when the hour of fate has arrived, when the men ofJerusalem are watering its walls with their tears and beating theirheads against the stones, then she takes the ornaments from her hair,puts on mourning garments, and goes on her pilgrimage wherever the handof Jehovah leads. His mind went back to another queen of misfortune, tothe Russian Marfa, the enemy of the city of Moscow, who maintained herdefiance even in her chains, and, dying, directed the destiny of freeNovgorod. Before his imagination there passed a procession of othersuffering women, Russian Tsaritsas, who, at the wish of their husbands,had adopted the dress of the nun and had maintained their intellect andtheir strength of character in the cloister....

  Raisky diverted his attention from these unsummoned apparitions, andlooked attentively at the suffering woman before him. Tatiana Markovna'skingdom was perishing. Her house was left desolate; her dearest treasure,her pride, her pearl, had been taken from her, and she wandered lonelyamong the ruins. When she paused in her walk in order to collect herstrength, she tottered and would have fallen but for an inner whisperwhich assured her she would yet reach her goal. She pulled herselftogether, and wandered on until evening. Half asleep, terrified by hercrowding fancies, she spent the night on the sofa. At dawn she rose, andwent once more to the precipice. With her head resting on the bareboards she sat for a long time on the crumbling threshold of the arbour,then she went through the fields, and was lost i
n the thicket on thebank of the river. By chance her steps led her to the chapel, where newterror seized her at the sight of the picture of the Christ. She fell onher knees like a wounded animal, covered her face with her shawl, andmoaned, "My sin! my sin!"

  Tatiana Markovna's servants had lost their heads in terror. Vassilissaand Yakob hardly stirred from the church. She intended, if her mistressrecovered, to make her pilgrimage on foot to Kiev in order to veneratethe miracle worker; he promised to the patron saint of the village athick wax candle ornamented with gold. The rest of the servants hidthemselves, and only looked shyly out after their mistress as shewandered distraught through the fields and the woods.

  For two days already Tatiana Markovna had eaten nothing. Raisky indeedtried to restrain her from leaving the house again, but she waved himimperiously away. Then with decision he took a jug of water, came up toher, and took her hand. She looked at him as if she did not know who hewas, then mechanically seized the jug in her trembling hand, and drankgreedily in big mouthfuls.

  "Grandmother, come home again, and do not make both yourself and uswretched," he begged. "You will kill yourself."

  "It is God's will; I shall not lose my reason, for I am upheld by Hisstrength. I must endure to the end. Do you raise me if I fall. My sin!"she murmured and went on her way. After she had gone a few steps, sheturned round and he ran to her.

  "If I do not survive," she began, signing to him to bow his head. Raiskyknelt down, and she pressed his head to her breast, laid her hands on itand kissed him. "Accept my blessing, deliver it to Marfinka, and to her,to my poor Vera. Do you understand, to her also."

  "Grandmother!" he cried, kissing her hand.

  She tore her hand away, and set out to wander once more through thethicket, by the river bank, and in the fields. A devout soul obeys itsown laws, thought Raisky, as he dried his tears; only a saint couldsuffer like this for the object of her love.

  Things were not going any better with Vera. Raisky made haste to tellher of his conversation with their aunt; when she sent for him earlynext morning, in her anxiety to have news of Tatiana Markovna, hepointed out of the window, and Vera saw how Tatiana Markovna wasdrifting, urged on by the heavy hand of misfortune. For a moment shecaught sight of her expression, and sank horrified on the floor, but shepulled herself up again, ran from one window to the other, and stretchedher hands out towards her grandmother. Then she rushed through the wideempty hall of the old house in a wild desire to follow Tatiana Markovna,but she realised in time that it would have killed her aunt if sheapproached her just now. Vera was conscious now how deeply she hadwounded another life so close to her own, as she saw the tragic figureof her aunt, so happy until recently and now bearing the punishment ofanother's sin. Raisky brought her Tatiana Markovna's blessing, and Verafell on his neck and wept for a long time.

  On the evening of the second day, Vera was found sitting in a corner ofthe great hall, half dressed. Raisky and the priest's wife, who had justarrived, led her almost by force into her room and laid her down on thebed. Raisky sent for the doctor, to whom he tried to explain herindisposition. The doctor prescribed a sedative, which Vera drankwithout being any calmer for it; she often waked in her sleep to askafter her grandmother.

  "Give me something to drink ... don't say a word. Do not let anyone cometo see me. Find out what Grandmother is doing." It was just the same inthe night. When she awoke, she would whisper, "Grandmother doesn't come,Grandmother doesn't love me any more. She has not forgiven me."

  On the third day Tatiana Markovna left the house without being observed.After two sleepless nights, Raisky had lain down and had giveninstructions to wake him if she left the house, but Yakob and Vassilissahad gone to early Mass, and the other servants had paid no attention.Later on Savili saw that his mistress, catching hold of the trees as shewent, was making her way from the precipice to the fields. Raiskyhurried after her and watched her slow return to the house; she stoodstill, looked round as if she were saying goodbye to the group of houses,groped with her hands, and swayed violently. Then he rushed up to her,brought her back to the house with Vassilissa's help, put her in herarmchair and sent for the doctor. Vassilissa fell on her knees beforeher mistress.

  "Little mother! Tatiana Markovna," she begged, "come back to us. Makethe sign of the Cross."

  Tatiana Markovna crossed herself, sighed, and signed that she could notspeak and wanted something to drink. Vassilissa undressed her, wrappedher in warm sheets, rubbed her hands and feet with spirit, and then gaveher some warm wine to drink. The doctor prescribed for her, but saidthat it was most important of all that she should not be disturbed, butshould be allowed to sleep.

  An incautious word that Tatiana Markovna was ill reached Vera's ears.She pushed past Natalie Ivanovna, and wanted to go over to the new house;Raisky had great difficulty in persuading her to abandon her intentionas Tatiana Markovna lay in a deep sleep. In the evening Vera was worse,she had fever and was delirious, and during the night she flung herselffrom one side to another, calling on her grandmother in her sleep, andweeping. Raisky wanted to call the old doctor; he waited impatientlytill the morning and spent his time in going from Vera to TatianaMarkovna, and from Tatiana Markovna back to Vera.

  As Vera's condition had not improved next morning, Raisky went withVassilissa into Tatiana Markovna's bedroom, where they found the oldlady in the same state as she had been in the whole of the day before.

  "I am afraid of going near her in case I alarm her," he whispered.

  "Should I awaken the mistress?"

  "She must be awakened. Vera Vassilievna is ill, and I don't know whetherI ought to send for the old doctor."

  The words were hardly out of his mouth when Tatiana Markovna sat up. "IsVera ill?" she said in a low voice.

  Raisky breathed more freely, for his aunt, in her present anxiety, hadlost the stony expression of yesterday. She signed to him to leave theroom. Half an hour later she was walking across the courtyard to the oldhouse with trouble plainly depicted on her face, but apparently withouta trace of weariness. She entered Vera's room cautiously, and when shesaw the pale sleeping face, whispered to Raisky, "Send for the olddoctor." She now noticed for the first time the priest's wife and herweary eyes; she embraced Natalie Ivanovna, and advised her kindly to goand get a whole day's rest.

  When the doctor arrived, Tatiana Markovna gave him an ingeniousexplanation of Vera's indisposition. He discovered symptoms of a nervousfever and prescribed medicine; but on the whole he did not think thatserious consequences need be expected if the patient could be kept quiet.Vera was half asleep when she took the medicine and towards evening fellfast asleep. Tatiana Markovna sat down at the head of the bed, watchingher movements and listening to her breathing. Presently Vera woke up andasked, "Are you asleep, Natasha?"

  As she received no answer she closed her eyes, but she could not go tosleep again, and the darkness seemed to her to be a dark and terribleprison. After a time she asked for something to drink. Someone handedher a cup.

  "How is Grandmother?" asked Vera, opening her eyes only to close themagain immediately. "Natasha, where are you? Come here. Why are youhiding?" she sighed and fell asleep again. Presently she woke again andwhispered pitifully, "Grandmother doesn't come. Grandmother loves me nolonger, and has not forgiven me."

  "Grandmother is here. She loves you and has forgiven you."

  Vera sprang from the bed and rushed up to Tatiana Markovna."Grandmother," she cried, half fainting and hiding her head on herbreast.

  Tatiana Markovna put her to bed again, leaned her grey head by Vera'swhite suffering face, while the girl in a low voice, with sighs andtears, made her confession on her breast. Her aunt listened withoutspeaking, and presently wiped away Vera's tears with her handkerchief,and kissed her warmly and affectionately.

  "Do not waste your caresses on me, Grandmother; only do not leave me. Ido not deserve your caresses. Keep your kisses for my sister."

  "Your sister is no longer in need of my caresses. But I need your love.I
f you forsake me, Vera, I shall be a desolate old woman." TatianaMarkovna wept.

  "Mother, forgive me," whispered Vera, embracing her with her wholestrength. "I have not been obedient to you, and God has punished me,"she went on, but Tatiana Markovna shut her mouth with a kiss.

  "Do not talk like that, Vera," interrupted her grandmother, who hadturned pale with horror and once more wore the aspect of the old womanwho had been wandering about in the thicket by the precipice.

  "Yes, I thought that my own brain and will were self-sufficing, that Iwas wiser than you all."

  "You are wiser than I and have more learning," said Tatiana Markovna,breathing more freely. "God has given you a clear understanding, but youhave not my experience."

  Vera thought that she had more experience also, but she merely said,"Take me away from here. There is no Vera any longer. I want to be yourMarfinka. Take me away from this old house over there to you."

  The two heads rested side by side on the pillow. They lay in a closeembrace and fell asleep.