Return to the Whorl

by Gene Wolfe

Page 42

 

  Hound interrupted. "Why not?"

  "Because I thought he was going to tell everybody to get on landers. Weve had too much of that already. Besides, I dont have landers to give them. A couple, actually, but theyre not in working order. It would cost more than the city can spare to send them off. " Bison sipped his wine. "But hes not going to say that. Are you?"

  "No. " He sighed. "No, Im not. Im going to tell them what the godling told me, which is that they are to remain. That Pas-well, never mind. Ill tell them to stay, and ask their help in finding Silk. "

  "Silk here," Oreb declared testily.

  Mint nodded. "You said our little ghost mistook you for Calde Silk. "

  "Yes," he said. "She did. " He recalled the gardener again and added, "It happens fairly frequently. "

  "I dare say. Darling, I should let you finish, but Ill do it for you. Possibly I can save you embarrassment. You were going to confess, werent you, that you arranged this luncheon to get our guests out of the Prolocutors reach? You were going to keep them here on one pretext or another until his sacrifice was over. Isnt that right?"

  Bison grunted assent.

  "Very well. " Mint raised a shirred oyster halfway to her mouth, then laid her fork aside. "Weve had Horns honesty and my husbands. I dont think Oreb has to unburden his conscience. Hes been entirely open from the beginning. Ill go next, and after that it will be Hounds turn, and Pigs. I intend to require it of you both, gentlemen, so be warned. "

  "Nae meself fashes me, mistress," Pig rumbled.

  "Here then is my confession,"Mint continued. "Horn, you said our ghost mistook you for Calde Silk, and implied that our cook did as well. You say such mistakes happen often. "

  "Yes. "He was looking around again, not for Olivine or Mucor this time, but because he wanted to see the room itself.

  (Ill never come here again, he thought. Soon well go to the Grand Manteion, and Ill assist. I dont know where well go after that, perhaps back to Ermines or the Juzgado, but we wont come back here. Ill walk out the big door, the troopers will shut it behind me, and Ill never see this any more. )

  "Were you on Blue before you came here? You were sent out from there, you said, and you talk about taking Silk there. "

  He shook his head. "I was on Green. I spent nearly a year there; but I came there from Blue. Weve a house-youd call it a cot tage-on the south end of Lizard Island, near the Tail. A house and a mill. I used to have a boat, too, though Im afraid thats gone forever. "

  "I must ask you this. It may be cruel. I think it is, but I have to. Were mistakes of this kind common when you were on Green? Did people there sometimes call you Silk, for example?"

  He shook his head again. "I doubt that any of them had ever seen Silk-or knew his name, unless they had heard it from me. "

  "New Viron must have been settled by people from here. Its name implies that. There must be many people there whove heard of Calde Silk, and some who saw him at one time or another. Did they mistake you for Silk, Horn? Did that ever happen?"

  "No," he said. And then, when no one else spoke, added, "I know what youre going to say. "

  "Do you? Then why dont you say it yourself and save me the trouble. "

  Oreb took up the word. "Say Silk!"

  He ate instead, hoping that someone else would speak.

  "Pig and Hound know. Are you aware of that? They have from the beginning. I asked Pig to push my chair, and as soon as we were out of earshot I explained to him that I had taught Horn, and seen him in my classroom every day. "

  "No see!" Oreb commented. "No boy. "

  "My husband told me you were calling yourself Horn when we talked on our glasses, but he thought it was to deceive the men with you. He had fallen in with the imposition, and suggested I fall in with it, too. I did, but soon came to suspect that you believed it yourself. I asked Pig, and he confirmed it. You had never been trying to deceive him, Silk. Neither had you tried to deceive Hound. You have only been trying to deceive yourself, and now even that is at an end. "

  "Youve never had any of the pickled pilchards," he told Pig. "Would you like a couple? Im going to try them myself. "

  "Horn went. " Mints face was grim. "He carried out the Plan of Pas, as we did not. It has cost me sleepless nights, Calde. It has cost you a great deal more, Im afraid. Horn incurred no guilt. You would be rid of yours, if you could, just as I would prefer to be rid of mine. But you cannot rid yourself of it like this. "

  "Thank yer, bucky. Thank yer kinly. "

  Having added three pickled pilchards to Pigs plate, he forked two more onto his own. "I know I look like Patera Silk, but I also know who I am," he said. "No one, not even you, Maytera, can make a man who knows who he is believe that he is someone else. "

  Chapter 15. HOME

  Wind in the west, but it is not much of a wind and we are on the lee side of Mucors Rock. We could have anchored in the little bay. Perhaps we should have.

  Shadow for us, while all around us the blue water dances in the last light.

  We set out from New Viron at first light-Hide, Vadsig, Jahlee, and I. Hide and I would be crew enough for this yawl, and I honestly believe I could manage it alone if I had to, but Vadsig is as good as a third man (far better than some men I have seen) and even Jahlee helped. This west wind was just what we wanted for our south-southwest course; we set both jibs and spread a three-cornered main topsail between the gaff and the maintop-all this over and above the mainsail and the jigger-and fairly flew. I believe I wrote earlier that the yawl was not as fast as my old sloop. I may not have allowed sufficiently for its ability to carry sail.

  Here I should say that Hide has found a bonnet for one of the jibs. He is anxious to try it; so I suppose we will on the trip home, if the weather is still good.

  "Hus back!" announced Oreb. I looked around the yawl, then saw Babbie swimming from the island. He had gone ashore, and Mucor asked to keep him for a while. She is finished with him, I suppose. I wish I knew what she did.

  We poled through the cleft about midafternoon, the sides scraping rock. No doubt there have been other boats in the tiny harbor since I sailed out of it in the sloop, but they left no evidence of their visits-it seemed precisely as I left it, with a few scales still on the flat stone where the fish jumped for Mucor. Hide wanted Vadsig to stay behind to watch the yawl; she wanted to go ashore, and both appealed to me.

  "The womens hut is at the top," I explained to them. "Ive made the climb before and have no wish to make it again. You may all go. Ill take care of the boat. "

  There was a flurry of expostulations.

  "Youre mistaken," I told them, "when you say Mucor does not know you. Believe me, she knows all of you almost as well as she knows me. Youll have to introduce yourselves to Maytera Marble, and explain who you are, but there should be no difficulty about that. Tell her Im in the boat and eager to speak with her, and ask her come down if that is convenient. "

  Hide wanted to know whether to take his slug gun. I told him to take it if made him feel more secure, but that I doubted he would need it. He took it; and Vadsig had her needler in the pocket of her skirt. Babbie, who has been guarding the yawl for us while it was tied to the pier in New Viron, seemed to believe I would not allow him ashore. When I told him it was all right, that he could go with the young people if he wanted, he was overjoyed.

  It was just after we left that I thought I saw her among the sunlit waves. I have said nothing to the others, and it was only for a moment. Very likely I was mistaken.

  Maytera Marble came down. Oreb saw her before I did, and flew up to guide her, perching upon her shoulder and exclaiming, "Silk here!" or "In boat!" every step or two. It seemed terrible to disappoint her as I knew I must, so I postponed identifying myself as long as possible.

  "Patera?" Groping, Maytera found our mooring line.

  I was already poling the yawl nearer. "You dont have to climb aboard," I told her. "Im getting off. "

  "You-you. . . Oh!
Oh, Patera. I. . . It would be so good, so very, very good to see you, Patera. "

  I stepped to shore, getting only a little wet, and caught her by the shoulders. I made her look up, and turn so sunlight fell upon the thousand minute mechanisms of her face, thinking that it would be difficult to insert the new eye, readying myself and her. By that time, she must surely have guessed what I was about. "Horn? I asked Horn. Such a good boy! Did he. . . Did he tell you. . . Did Horn happen to mention, Patera, I mean it wasnt important, but. . . Oh! Oh, oh! Oh, Scylla!"

  That last sticks in my mind. I remember everything vividly, and the joy in her voice most vividly of all. I wont describe the way her hands-her whole spare frame-shook, or the way she hugged me, or the dance she did there on the rocks, a dance so wild it frightened Oreb, or the way she hugged me again and even picked me up like a child when her dance was done. I would describe my own joy, if I could. I cannot.

  But, "Oh, Scylla!"

  It resonates in a way that nothing else does. It is no more vivid, yet it is colored as the other memories are not. They are wonderful and warm, and I shall treasure them always; but if ever a time comes when I must justify my existence-when I must account for the space I have occupied, the food I have eaten, and the air I have breathedI will tell about Mayteras eye first of all. I doubt that I will have to tell anything else.

  Supper cooked by Vadsig and very good indeed, considering what she has to work with. Hide is fishing and promises fresh fish for breakfast, though he has caught nothing so far.

  "Going tomorrow we are, mysire?" asked Vadsig.

  "Tomorrow I must talk with Maytera Marble alone," I told her. "I dont think that will be difficult, and it shouldnt take long. After that well leave, weather permitting. "

  Jahlee joined us. "You talked to her alone today. You didnt think that business about staying behind to watch the boat fooled me, did you?"

  I protested that I had not been trying to fool anyone.

  "You made me climb way up there, and you know my legs arent strong. "

  Vadsig was surprised. "The witch to see you did not wish?"

  Jahlee shook her head vehemently.

  "Behind she stayed, mysire. More she cannot go, she said. All right, we said, and up the steep path we climbed. To the top we got, and there she is. "

  "I climbed the rocks instead of the path. I told you. It was much quicker, but much more dangerous. "

  Jahlee looked to me, plainly in need of rescue, and I said, "I remained behind for two reasons, neither of which had to do with fooling anyone. First, Hide was worried about the boat, and would have stayed behind himself-so I feared-if no one else would do it. I wanted him to meet Mucor face-to-face, to speak with her and to gain her friendship if he could. "

  Jahlee said, "She knows me already, and I know her. "

  "I was aware of it. Also that Hide would continue to be uneasy about the boat if you were the only one who remained behind. In addition, I wanted to speak with Maytera in private. "

  Vadsig said, "So her sight you might give, mysire?"

  I shook my head. "I would gladly have done that before thousands. So I could tell her how I was able to do it. "

  "No bad!" Oreb dropped from the rigging to my shoulder to tug my hair. "Give bird!"

  "Oh, Im not so down as all that," I told him.

  "Bird take! Make nest!"

  "Arent I bald enough for you already?"

  "Not bald at all you are, mysire. " Poor Vadsig looked as puzzled as she had made me feel; I ran my fingers through my hair (it is getting much too long) and conceded that I was not.

  "You wanted to be alone with that metal woman. What do we call them?"

  "Chems," I told Jahlee.

  And Oreb: "Iron girl. "

  "With that chem, but you didnt even give her the black gown you bought her. Did you tell her where you got her eye?"

  "No. Perhaps I should have told her first, and given her the gown as well; but I couldnt be sure the eye would restore her sight, and if it had not. . . " I shrugged. "Afterward she was so happy, so full of joy, and the gown would have been nothing to her. " I thought of Pig, and Silk.

  "So youre going to give it to her tomorrow?"

  "Yes, and tell her where her eye came from. She will want to know, and has a right to know. There is not a female chem left in Viron. I asked His Cognizance, and that is what he told me. Or rather, there are none left save for the one who gave the eye. He has tried to bring her to the Prolocutors Palace, but she will not go. "

  "What it is of which you speak, mysire?" Vadsigs honest blue eyes went from me to Jahlee (who looked bored), and back.

  "Of chems," I told her, "and young chems a-building. There is an instinct, I think, that keeps them in one place and in hiding, until they are complete. I dont believe Olivine was aware of it; but we are generally unaware of our instincts. "

  Hide called Vadsig then, giving Jahlee and me a moment of privacy. I said, "When Maytera received her new eye, she said something that puzzled me, as it still does. She said, `Oh, Scylla! Do you know that name?"

  "I dont think so. "

  "Because I do, you see. I even dream of her at times. It is the name of the patroness of Viron, Pass eldest daughter. Maytera is a religious woman, and lived in Viron for centuries. "

  "No say," Oreb croaked; I am not sure what he meant by it.

  "There really isnt any reason she shouldnt have said it, though I suspect Scylla was expunged from Mainframe some time ago. She was one of the children who rebelled against Pas. "

  Jahlee said, "Then it doesnt matter. "

  "I agree, but thats what puzzles me. It seems to me that it does, and it shouldnt. Even if Scylla hasnt ceased to exist, she certainly isnt here and has little influence. Yet it seems to me it does matterthat the word matters somehow, even if Scylla herself does not. And I dont understand why. "