by Erin R Flynn
“I sleep an hour at most,” Kristof said, making me realize the dining hall was packed and everyone already there. “You want me to lie there awake staring at the ceiling for hours with her just so she knows I will be the one she wakes with?”
Wow. That was… Wow. I wasn’t shocked when several people gave him looks like he was a douche for saying that, much less thinking it.
“Look, we can discuss this later,” Jaxon interrupted whatever James might have said. “We need to talk about this weekend.”
“What about it?” Hope asked, probably thinking there was a scheduling change.
“Inez doesn’t want to do it.”
I didn’t say anything, drinking my water. This wasn’t a conversation to have around so many people, friendlies or not, they were guests, and some of the people in the group weren’t friends at all.
“Of course she doesn’t,” Nora said easily. I turned in time to see her glancing between my nobles who had shocked expressions on their faces. “You’re all idiots. Nothing about Inez says this is something she would want to do. Have you met the woman you all love?”
“What does it matter if she wants to or not?” Henry, Cerdic’s dad, asked, sounding bored and looking down his nose at me as he had every moment spent near me. “She is the princess of this coven and needs to take her responsibilities seriously. These alliances will help make up for all she is lacking and what’s best, along with making the right statements the coven should. Her feelings don’t matter.”
Ass. Hole.
I shot Matilda a look that I wasn’t in the mood and wouldn’t be nice if he opened his mouth with more of that. She nodded, looking annoyed as well.
“We care what she wants, Father,” Cerdic snapped.
“And I would advise you not speaking so assuredly on what a princess must and mustn’t do when you are not one, and there are four here that would gladly advise her, should the grown woman ask,” Nora added, her tone icy in a way I’d not heard, but would scare the shit out of a smart person.
“And she lacks nothing, Henry,” Kristof said dangerously. “I’d remember that going forward as your coven relies on her for much, and while she won’t be petty and ignore your digs, we won’t.”
“Really?” he pushed. “So, she hasn’t forgiven Olivia, Dennis, Ceawlin, and anyone else who speaks ill of her and lets everyone walk all over her? What have you done about any of that?”
I shocked everyone by bursting out laughing. He was such a hypocrite and didn’t even get it. I didn’t address him though, looking at Nora who seemed as frostily amused. “So, apparently my feelings do matter if it’s pride. How very… Childish.” I shook my head and made a plate for myself from the sideboard.
“Clearly, this isn’t a conversation for mixed company,” Nora said before anyone else could jump in.
“Agreed,” I said as I headed for coffee next. I flinched when Darius moved next to me holding a large bunch of lavender. I had no idea what to do with that so I simply stared at him.
He cleared his throat. “May I put these in your room?”
A light breeze could have pushed me over. “You’re giving me flowers?”
“I looked for yellow roses but couldn’t find them. I thought about lavender since you have trouble sleeping.”
“Yellow roses mean someone’s apologizing,” Lara filled in for me.
I nodded, not sure what else to say.
He leaned in and kissed my hair. “I love you, Inez.”
I closed my eyes, swallowing loudly before turning to focus on coffee. I didn’t know what else to do and I wasn’t sure I had it in me to try. There was so much else going on that I just couldn’t right then and especially not with all the eyes. I brought my breakfast over by my female knights and sat down.
“May we speak after breakfast?” Jaxon asked me quietly as he stood behind my chair.
“We talked enough last night,” I answered. “And I can’t. I have to get ready. There’s a salon fixed in Salt Lake City and Nora figured it out with Maggie so we’ve got someone who does hair and nails and all the girly stuff I’ve never done. I’m getting my first intentional haircut and ready for the parties. I’ve got the ghosts then and—I’ll see you at the rehearsal dinner.”
“That’s it?” he pushed.
I sighed. “Is there something you want me to hear right now?”
“I guess it can wait,” he grumbled before walking off. He must have turned around because a moment later he leaned in as I was cutting into my waffles and kissed my temple. “I love you, my wife.”
“I love you too,” I whispered, not sure why he was saying it like that. Did he think I didn’t love him anymore? No, I said I did, just not as I had. People evolved and changed, and it made sense that loved did too.
It just changed in a way I hadn’t wanted it to.
And it really made me want to break down sobbing that I was going to subject myself to that twice more. How stupid was I?
11
“Want to talk about it?” Hope asked after we were at the salon.
“Not even a little bit,” I sighed, glancing around curiously. “So, who’s in charge of what we’re doing here?”
“Me,” Lara answered, moving over to the three people ready for us. One was Nora’s, but the other two were… I had no idea. “She wants a trim and some layering, dead ends only, please. Also, waxing, and silver polish on nails and toes given she has an array of dresses.”
“Can I nap?” I asked, glad when they told me I could for toes and nails, but not hair as my head could move.
And, if I could sleep through waxing, then I needed more sleep as I was suffering from severe exhaustion.
Okay then.
I listened as the others talked about this and that, nodding along as Nora filled us in on the bachelor party from what Sebastian told her. Basically, the place I’d found was the score of the month, and they’d made a good first dent in the wild boar problem.
“I apologize for Henry,” Matilda said when there was a lull in the conversation. “He was raised—”
“He doesn’t like me,” I cut it, giving her a look to stuff it. “Don’t pee on me and say it’s raining. He doesn’t like me and I don’t care. I’d prefer we got along like I do with Sebastian, but I won’t lose one moment of sleep that he doesn’t. Thank you for saying that, but it’s really fine. If he could just keep his mouth shut and not start trouble, that would be great.”
“He won’t,” she promised.
“I hate to weigh in on what you don’t want to talk about, but I agree with your knights that you spoiled them all, and too much,” Nora said after a bit when she held out shades of nail polish to Lara. I was going first for everything since I had ghosts to deal with, so they weren’t messing around with me. “You gave them everything up front—”
“Yeah, I get it, Nora,” I sighed, wanting to stop thinking about it, which was hard when everyone kept bringing it up. “They got the milk before the cow and now they don’t want the cow.”
“Wait, you…” Lara trailed off and shook her head. “Either I was too drunk, I wasn’t saying it right, or you were too drunk to hear me. I was saying that’s how I was raised, not what I believe. It used to be that you didn’t give away the milk because they wouldn’t buy the cow, which is a crude and horrible way of saying don’t fuck guys because they won’t keep you.”
“Oh, yeah, I totally was messing that up then,” I chuckled darkly. “I really don’t want to talk about this though. I spoiled them because they spoiled me. I have no idea what to do or how—”
“Forgive them,” Matilda cut in.
“Oh, it’s that easy?” I threw right back, giving her an unhappy look. “Like with a different noble with a J name?” She flinched and I nodded. Yeah, easy to say from there. “I believe I pushed you to do the same, but respected when you said you weren’t touching that stove.”
“Yes, well, while I appreciate that, the situation was a bit different and he’s never tried to f
ix it. Darius is. We all mess up, but wanting to fix it and make amends is the sign of when to forgive.”
“I’m not sure there is anything to forgive,” I growled, glad she was working on my feet as I balled my hands into fists. “Darius disapproved. I can be upset how he handled it, but what’s to really forgive? I’m upset he walked away. Fine, he spun out, I forgive him for doing that as I understand it. That doesn’t magically make everything okay. Jaxon’s the same. Fine, he’s forgiven. Now what?”
Unfortunately, no one had the answer either.
I got my trim with layering, along with making plans for how to do my hair later. They all talked about makeup and shades to do me up as well, and I left it to Lara and Maggie. They wouldn’t let me look stupid, and much more talk about it and I was going to race off to find a wall to bang my head against.
I did nap while they did my nails and toes and no, I could not sleep during the waxing. Dear fuck, that wasn’t fun. The eyebrows were annoying, but it was downright painful to get my under arms and private everything waxed. And, it didn’t faze the woman at all when she was just spreading my legs and getting intimate with me, basically. Okay then.
Weird.
I went off to handle ghosts, knowing Nora and Matilda would greet all the guests as my mothers-in-law and get them settled. All I had to do was shower after and let myself be made up. I could handle that.
Probably.
Jaxon and Darius came along with Vitor and Moon, who were guarding me, as I fixed the hospital in Albuquerque. Next round was some more solar panels from gobs of energy beads that were piled up in Salt Lake City. And finally, putting some of New Orleans back online now that we were trailing the corrupted out of there to Houston.
So much spinning around, I was waiting for my head to pop off.
“I thought you were mad at me?” I asked Jaxon when we returned to the castle.
“No, I’m upset, but not at you.” He shook his head and pulled me to my tower, not speaking again until we were in my room. “We’ll fix this. We can get through this too.”
I nodded, not wanting anymore problems, but in the back of my mind, I was wondering how much longer I would be able to just “get through” things instead of enjoy life. Was there a limit or line where it just stopped being worth it and a person shut down?
Hadn’t I already, maybe, crossed that line to feel so numb about things?
I flinched when Darius came into the bathroom with us.
“You need to feed and I’m your husband,” he explained.
I moved away from him and turned on the water. “Please don’t do things because you promised to, but don’t want to.”
“Isn’t that what we’ve been trying to get you to do as well?” Jaxon muttered, but didn’t push the argument when I nodded.
“I want to provide for my wife,” Darius assured me. “I miss you, Inez. I was explaining I don’t think I deserve to be fully a part of this.”
I sighed and nodded, not really getting it, but whatever. There was too much coming up and I was really thirsty and tired.
We got in the shower and Jaxon moved me under the water. I swallowed my shock when he started washing me instead of rushing me to get clean so we could have fun. He moved me so I was completely pressed against naked, wet, and sexy Darius.
“Feed, my love,” Darius breathed in my ear, his neck there for me. “Please feed from me.”
My fangs came out and answered for me as I missed his blood and that connection of feeding from him as I did everything else from him. I bit him and he moaned, touching Jaxon, instead of me, to keep himself balanced. Darius orgasmed on me since my bite did that to them once I’d accepted their oaths. I had a feeling there was more to it than that and they wanted me to smell of him.
That was like a scent thing, right? Shifters would smell him on me?
Right, and Jaxon was jealous of James. No, wait, other courts had shifters in them. They didn’t want rumors of a rift between us probably. That made more sense.
“What does my princess want?” Jaxon asked me as he rinsed my hair. “What are you in the mood for?”
“Sleep,” I answered honestly, not trying to be a bitch, but I was exhausted and that was bad, given how exhausting bleeding for the tree was.
“You’re not on fire?” he checked.
I shook my head. I frowned when Darius looked as if I’d slapped him. “Why are you upset?”
“Do you feel less thirsty?” he asked me, swallowing loudly when I nodded.
“It could be she’s just more powerful than a few months ago,” Jaxon defended. “It doesn’t mean she has no feelings for you left.”
I wasn’t sure how that worked or made sense, given the fire his blood stirred in me happened before I even knew him to care for him. Strangers got that reaction from me, so it wasn’t tied to feelings. Did they think it happened if a princess fell out of love with her noble? I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer so I didn’t.
“Are you still thirsty?” Jaxon asked when I reached for the soap.
“Yes.”
His hand moved over mine and he took the soap, nuzzling my neck. “We’re not saying sex makes everything okay, Inez. Let us be there for you, or me at least, until you’re ready for more.” He turned me and leaned down so I had his neck as he moved the soap and his hand between my legs. “Let me tend to my wife when she’s stressed.”
I let out a shaky breath. Hadn’t this been what I wanted? Why did it seem hollow now? Because I’d had to tell him he was doing it? Because he didn’t want to do it without being told?
“You’re spiraling,” he whispered as he moved his hand. “Inez, we can feel it. It’s valid, but don’t think for answers right now. I will always be here and love you. I focused on the wrong things too much. That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to do all the stuff we did before. I did. I missed it too.”
That was what I needed to hear, to feel, and that I hadn’t just been lured in and it had meant as much to him too. I bit him as I rubbed my breasts against his chest, knowing how he loved that. His soapy fingers pushed inside me and he moaned as he orgasmed on me too. I flinched when Darius touched me, but it was only to condition my hair as we didn’t have all day.
“You were really thirsty,” Jaxon panted when I pulled my fangs out. “Fuck, I came so many times I lost count.” He finished washing me, and then himself, as Darius rinsed out the conditioner. I turned a few times as if to hide I was naked, which was silly, because he’d seen every inch of me so many times, but he flinched, knowing where my mind was.
But, he didn’t say anything, didn’t push it when I was stressed. That was nice at least.
When we finished, Jaxon carried me to my bed, carefully wrapping my hair to dry so it wasn’t a mess later. And then, he proceeded to eat me out until I couldn’t take anymore and zonked out. Well, that was a nice apology for sure.
I woke with hot rollers in my hair and in a weird position so I didn’t mess them up. Okay then.
Lara simply chuckled when she saw me trying to figure it out and shrugged. Right, we had a lot to do. I rolled out of bed and sat at the super fancy vanity dressing table someone had found for me. They’d played a bit to match tones and colors, but it was my first time getting fully done up and to ultra level, as they kept calling it.
The dress was a white one-shoulder with a long, flowing sleeve, ruffles of the material all over so it looked like a nice wrap dress that fluttered as I walked. The skirt was super short as apparently bold was needed when you were the princess and it was your party.
That was fine with me, and I’d spent time practicing in heels when I handled ghosts in that room. I’d actually done pretty well in them according to Lara and Trisha. They thought I might have had experience in them before my memories were wiped. It sounded weird I might remember that and not much else, but I also remembered how to get dressed and brush my teeth so, yeah, some skills were just there.
For a pop of color, they’d found me high
heels that matched my deep green eyes. The heel was wide and they weren’t bad to walk in, so I didn’t care, even liking how they wrapped around my ankles in that sexy open toe look.
They had my now curly hair up in a flip, with curls pinned all over and a few hanging, showing off my neck and… Yeah, I didn’t get it. It was some status thing. I wasn’t sure others would either, but basically, I would leave my neck open like I wasn’t scared someone would go for my throat.
Uh-huh, sure, that wasn’t weird. So no princesses had short hair?
“It’s time,” Trisha said as we were wrapping up. “You got this, Inez. You look hot and just as posh as anyone else downstairs.”
I nodded, complimenting her as well. She looked sexy as fuck in the little black number she was wearing. All of my knights did. They were in black to be the yin of my yang in white. The male knights would be as well. Unity, yay.
We took the elevator down and I let out a slow breath before stepping off of it. We headed for the ballroom, and just as I walked in, I heard someone coughing, turning in time to see James thumping his chest as he stared at me, whatever he’d been drinking going down the wrong pipe it seemed.
“Smooth, Brother,” Trisha said under her breath. Oh, right, it was his reaction at seeing me.
Wow, that didn’t make me blush or anything, especially how hot he looked as well. He was wearing nice black slacks and matching dress shirt that he had open a few buttons… Like my other knights. He was saying loud and proud, he was mine. He nodded, showing me he was wearing the ring too, and my heart raced, wanting him as mine even if as my knight.
I smiled and let Lara lead me away to start greeting people.
Kristof’s eyes flashed shock when he saw me, walking right over and bowing. “My Princess, I take back everything I’ve said; that your beauty is only the wild and natural kind as you are also a truly elegant and refined beauty, unlike any princess I’ve ever seen before. It is my deepest honor that a princess of not only such beauty would accept me, but heart and intelligence that none can rival.”