Fearless in Love

by Bella Andre

  He almost shuddered, remembering the kid's words. Only sissies read books like that. And he'd heard his father's voice. Only little weenies keep their noses buried in books.

  "That's terrible. I'm so sorry for Noah." Ari's hand was still on his, helping to keep him in the present.

  "The worst was the kid's mom. None of them saw that I was there yet, and Noah"--he had to smile at the memory--"told her that her kid was really mean." Then he imitated Noah's big-boy voice. "And that's not right."

  "Yay for Noah. But how did the mom react?"

  "She had the gall to say that if he hadn't been reading a book meant for girls, it wouldn't have happened. That was when I finally stepped into the room and she realized I'd seen and heard it all." He'd wanted to charge in and shake the woman like she was a rag doll, until all her stuffing fell out. It had taken all his control not to yell at her and her rotten little kid. Not to be like his father. Because he never yelled in front of Noah. "I told her I needed a private word with her. And then I made it clear that she'd better never let her kid near mine again. The next day, I found out they'd transferred to another school."

  "You did good, Matt." When she squeezed his hand lightly and smiled, he was amazed to feel the tension begin to drain out of him at her warm approval. "Although, I must admit I would have liked to see the other kid's mom trembling in her high heels when you took her down." She finally removed her hand from his as she asked, "And now you've got me really curious--what was Noah reading?"

  Trying not to let himself miss her touch, he said, "Purplicious."

  "Noah has good taste in books. And I love how he handled himself."

  Matt's stress instantly flooded back. "I shouldn't have let it get that far. He should never feel belittled."

  "Of course not. But he was still pretty amazing, standing up to an adult like that."

  Matt had to tip his head to the side to stare at her, like a movie robot who didn't understand humans. He hadn't, not even for one minute, thought of it that way before. "You're right, he did handle himself pretty well." And Noah hadn't exhibited lasting effects, thankfully. So maybe, with Ari's supervision, a day with her friend's son might actually be good for him. "You said Jorge likes to read?"

  "Voraciously."

  "What about playing with Legos?"

  "How do you think I became a master?" she replied with a grin.

  Noah pushed through the door with a bowl of ice cream. Cookie followed with two more.

  "What do you think, buddy?" Matt asked. "Would you like to meet Ari's little friend Jorge?"

  "Yes!"

  Ari's laugh did things to his insides. It wasn't just her pretty face or her lovely, lithe figure. It was her liveliness with Noah, her freshness, her love of life, her exuberance, her try-anything attitude.

  Then again, those were some of the same qualities that had first drawn him to Noah's mother.

  And that had ended in disaster.

  Chapter Four

  Matt and Noah gave Ari a tour after dinner, and the house was even more mind-boggling than it had initially seemed. The upper floor overlooked the front hall with a wide balustrade and was ringed by eight bedrooms, each with its own bathroom and sitting area. Matt said he wanted plenty of space for his family when they visited. Ari's room included a desk and a computer, though she'd brought her own laptop--and, best of all, a whirlpool tub.

  The main floor consisted of the living room she'd interviewed in, complete with a grand piano; a formal dining room; and the kitchen, containing a huge pantry and a walk-in fridge. Matt displayed his favorite art in a special room, and Noah had his own playroom with lidded boxes full of toys, a chalkboard, and erase board. The great room came with all the latest entertainment equipment and a sun porch that opened on to the pool, the hot tub, and Noah's playground.

  The most marvelous thing in the whole house, though, was the library, which rivaled the Beast's in Beauty and the Beast, with enough books to keep reading straight through for a decade. Ari's fingers itched to touch the volumes, and she saw some of her favorites, from Tolkien's The Hobbit and the three volumes of The Lord of the Rings to Stephen King's The Stand, all of them looking like collector's editions.

  She longed to stay in the library, but Noah dragged her downstairs, where they walked her through the soundproofed basement with its fully equipped gym, the game room, and the screening room.

  She couldn't believe she would actually live here. She'd never had so much space in her life, never had her pick of anything she wanted to eat from a restaurant-size walk-in fridge, never been able to just walk outside and jump into a heated pool.

  And she'd definitely never known a man like Matt Tremont.

  When the tour was finally over, Noah said, "Do I gotta go to bed, Daddy?"

  Matt turned to her with a gorgeous smile. "Does he gotta, Ari?"

  They were so adorable, and so much alike, that her heart squeezed in her chest. She appreciated that Matt subtly deferred to her, putting her in charge in Noah's eyes.

  "You gotta," she said to the little boy. "Since it's Sunday, you need to take a shower to get ready for the week."

  She waited for the inevitable fight little kids put up about washing. Instead, he told her, "I've never taken a shower before. Only baths."

  "I'll show you how to work the taps."

  She felt Matt's gaze on her as they headed through Noah's huge bedroom and into his bathroom. With the shower stall open, she adjusted the dual shower heads. "It's easy. Just turn this dial." She demonstrated while Matt took in her every move. The water was warm instantly, with a safety valve that kept it from scalding. Matt thought of everything. She gazed down at Noah. "Pretty easy, right?" She turned off the shower. "Bet you can do that."

  He nodded. "Uh-huh."

  Grabbing soap and shampoo from the tub, she put them on the built-in ledges in the shower. "I'll get your jammies while you wash." She tapped Noah's nose with a light finger. "Or I can help, if you like."

  He insisted, "I can do it by myself," but she left the bathroom door slightly ajar so she could hear if he called.

  "He's never done this alone before." Matt leaned against the wall next to the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his muscled chest, his face a little tense. A moment later, Noah shrieked, and Matt dove for the bathroom.

  "It's cold, Daddy, it's cold!"

  "Here's how you make it warmer." Matt's voice sounded strained from within the bathroom.

  Meanwhile, Ari opened bureau drawers, finding pajamas with a racing motif that matched the comforter. The sound of the shower muted as Matt half closed the door again and crossed to her, the pulse at his throat still beating quickly.

  "Don't worry," she said softly. "We might need to clean up some water off the floor when he's done, but he's a big boy." One of the moms she'd worked for had been super cautious with her first child, the way Matt was with Noah. "It's amazing what they're capable of."

  He didn't nod, didn't agree, simply said, "They grow up fast."

  She wanted to smooth the line from his forehead and tell him that Noah would always need him, that the note of I can do it in his son's voice would never change that fact.

  But the part of her that wanted to touch him was all woman, so she kept her hands to herself. "They do grow up fast," she agreed. "One minute they're toddlers, then the next thing you know they don't want you to hold their hand at the bus stop anymore."

  "Susan warned me. I didn't believe her."

  "I met her at the youth home in San Jose, right?"

  "Yes, Susan and Noah's grandfather Bob were both there." The tension in his face softened with love. "She's Daniel's birth mom, but she and Bob took all of us in and made us family, so Noah calls them Grandma and Grandpa."

  Ari knew the basic Maverick story, since Daniel wasn't the type to hide his past or the seedy Chicago neighborhood he'd come from. Daniel and his sister, Lyssa, were the biological kids, but his mom had raised all the Mavericks since they were in their early teens. Ari could see t
he adoration shining in Matt's eyes when he spoke of the man and woman who had taken him in. He'd been lucky to find them. Though she'd heard there were good people like Susan and Bob in the foster care system, she'd never met any of them personally. She had been lucky to find lifelong friends, however. Rosie and Chi would always be her sisters of the heart, just as the Mavericks were Matt's brothers even without blood tying them together.

  The water shut off and the shower door opened. "You doing okay, Noah?" she called out. "I've got your jammies."

  As Matt watched her progress to the bathroom door, her heart beat faster, her breath came quicker, and her skin warmed from more than the shower steam.

  She handed the pajamas through the door without opening it, giving Noah some big-boy privacy. A couple of minutes later, she asked, "Ready?" and he made an assenting noise. Sitting on the edge of the bath, she toweled his hair dry. It was thick and needed little more than ruffling to bring up the curls. "Almost dry. Brush your teeth, then you get your story."

  When Noah started to put his toothbrush away after only a few seconds, she urged him to do more. "Your teeth will look like a dinosaur's if that's all you do." He scrubbed a little harder.

  "Why don't you read Noah his story tonight?" she suggested to Matt. She didn't want to force too much change on the little boy all at once, and she also wanted to hear Matt read, to watch him the way he'd been watching her.

  Reading had been the lifeline that got her through dark days. And tonight she wanted to bear witness to Matt sharing his love of books with his son.

  The sight would be all the more poignant after the emotional story Matt had told her at dinner. His pain was almost something she could touch, and she'd envisioned him wanting to charge to the rescue only to have little Noah rescue himself. She wasn't sure Matt saw it that way, but eventually, with her help, he would. Noah was an amazing little boy.

  And his father was an amazing man.

  Matt hauled Noah up and slung him over his shoulder, making his son squeal with delight all the way to the bed. Ari settled into a wicker chair by the window, curling her feet beneath her as she watched father and son.

  Matt's big body dwarfed the twin bed as he leaned against the headboard with Noah nestled into him and the book open between them. He flipped a couple of pages. "Here we are. The fearsome giant has come down from the mountains into the village." He deepened his voice. "Gregor the giant roared while the villagers ran. His footsteps were a great thumping that toppled all the vegetables on the grocer's cart."

  Noah pointed at the page. "He doesn't look very mean, Daddy."

  Matt glanced down at Noah tucked beneath his arm. "Maybe he's not really a scary giant. Maybe he stubbed his toe on the way down the mountain and that's why he roars."

  "Look." Noah tapped the book. "He's on one foot, hopping because his toe hurts."

  They studied the illustration, then Matt began to make up their own story. "What if Gregor the Giant actually wants to ask for help? But why would a giant need a tiny villager's help?"

  Noah gazed up at him. "Because..." He bit his lip, thinking. For all his energy, Ari could see that he was also a pensive child--cerebral, as Matt had put it earlier. According to Daniel, Matt had been the same. "I know!" Noah finally said. "He needs help because his little boy is sick."

  "Do giants have little boys?"

  "Of course. They're just like you and me, Daddy, except they're real big."

  The new story unfolded before Ari's eyes, about Gregor the Giant and his brave but sick little boy Noah. She was captivated by the love they shared and how their minds worked so beautifully together. Matt's love shone through every silly character voice he made up, every time he chuckled with Noah, every new and outrageous story element they added. He was the essence of fatherhood, the epitome of love.

  Unbidden, she realized her eyes were growing damp. Ari sniffed softly, and Matt looked up, holding her gaze as he spoke another line in the Giant's voice. "Thank you for helping my little boy. I will give anything you desire." His words burrowed deep inside as his eyes held her captive. "But now, young master, it is time for you to sleep."

  "No," Noah crowed.

  "Yes," Matt said in the deep giant voice and laid aside the book they hadn't actually read. He scooched Noah down in the bed. "Good night."

  Ari uncurled from the ball she'd formed on the wicker chair and came to Noah's other side. "What a story," she said, smoothing his dark curls. "I can't wait for another one tomorrow night." She kissed his forehead. "Sleep tight."

  "Night, Ari. Night, Daddy," he said, already sounding sleepy as Matt kissed him and said, "I love you."

  Matt followed her out, closing the door halfway, leaving Noah with the beam of a night-light. She stopped, leaning against the far wall across from the balustrade. "You're some storyteller."

  "He'd sleep with books if I let him. Just like I wanted to when I was a kid." He propped a shoulder against the wall beside her. "You're good with him, Ari. I wouldn't have considered letting him shower by himself yet, but you made him feel capable."

  She blushed with the compliment, but also from the closeness of his big, male body in the hall. She was average height in her sneakers, but he made her feel petite and feminine. "You're a wonderful father. Making up that story with him--you've got a gift."

  "No gift. Just that he's everything to me." When he settled more comfortably against the wall, she pretended it was because he didn't want to let her go yet. At least until he asked, "What are your after-school plans tomorrow? The zoo?" Of course he'd want her itinerary for her first full day of caring for his son.

  "I thought we'd get to know each other for a couple of days before we head out and about."

  The house was so quiet now, even the normal creaks and groans absent. Though it was all in her head, it felt as though the silence settled around them like intimacy.

  "When we're ready for trips to the museum or zoo," she continued, "is there a number to call to arrange an outing with your driver?"

  "You can give Doreen your plans each morning. As my full-time employee, she also makes sure all the cars are gassed up, washed, and maintained."

  Earlier, Ari had gotten the tour of the six-car garage, one space housing only a man's mountain bike and a child's bicycle on training wheels. Matt had told her the spot was available for her use, though she was embarrassed to park her ancient Honda next to all the luxury cars with their waxed-to-a-sheen paint jobs.

  "I usually drive myself to work unless I have meetings in the city," he said. "And though I do have to visit factories domestically and abroad, I still try to stay local as much as possible." He obviously didn't want to leave his son for long periods or too often. "Videoconferencing is the miracle of the modern age."

  When he smiled and his clean, masculine scent filled her head, she almost forgot all the questions she had for him. Think about Noah.

  "Since you mentioned Noah was reading Purplicious, it's obvious his reading skills are developed even if he likes you to read to him before bed."

  "Yeah, he loves story time. But he's a good reader, pretty advanced." Matt dipped his head a moment, looking at the carpet. "Books are so important to a kid."

  "I know. In foster care, books from the library were just about all I had." And before that too, living with her mother.

  When he looked back up and said, "I practically lived at the library as a kid," she could have sworn a spark lit between them.

  "Me too." Which was why she had to know, "Were those first editions of The Lord of the Rings?" She was practically hyperventilating at the thought...or maybe that was simply from being so close to Matt.

  "Yes." He smiled big. "You're free to read them. Books are meant to be read, even if they are first editions."

  "I have them memorized," she admitted, her fingertips itching at even the thought of holding the volumes.

  "Most people I know just watch the movies." He looked impressed that she wasn't one of them.

  "Movies are a co
uple of hours, while books transport you for days or weeks. You can live in the pages of a book."

  "Yes." His voice was low, his gaze roaming her face again. "Most people don't understand that. Books can be--"

  "A lifeline," she finished for him. "And you've given that precious love of reading to Noah." She felt herself trembling slightly, as if they were on the brink of a deeper connection than just boss and nanny. Pulling herself together before she could do or say something foolish, she asked, "I was wondering, may I speak with Noah's kindergarten teacher about his progress?"

  "Of course. You have permission to do anything you think will benefit him. As long as he's safe. Keeping my son safe and happy is the most important thing to me."

  "I'll always keep him safe," she said, remembering his story about the bully and the book, and his fears for Noah. "He seems like a very happy child."

  "He usually is, thankfully."

  They were both suddenly so quiet that she could hear a clock ticking down in the front hall. She could feel the heat of his body, smell the clean scent of him as though she had her face buried against his chest. Neither of them moved, but his gaze lighted on her hair, her eyes, her cheeks. Her mouth.

  She couldn't quite keep her body from straining toward him. Especially given the heat she swore was burning in his eyes. He could have been holding his breath, he was so still. And she waited...

  "Now that you're off the clock"--he pushed away from the wall, took a step away from her, and then another--"you probably want to finish unpacking."

  She could have sworn there had been a moment where they'd shared something. But he'd ended it. Abruptly.

  Obviously, he'd remembered she was just the nanny.

  She'd have to make sure she remembered that too.

  Unpacking the few things she'd brought had taken ten minutes. Besides the stash of books she'd collected from thrift stores, she had a few changes of clothing, enough so that she didn't have to do laundry more than twice a week. She'd learned to travel light after so many moves, first with her mother, then from foster home to foster home. She'd left a few things behind in her studio apartment. Thankfully, Matt was paying her enough to keep it, since there was no way she'd let it go in case her brother, Gideon, came looking for her.