Fearless in Love

by Bella Andre

  "You all outdid yourselves," Susan said. "Charlie, dear, where's your mother? I was so hoping to have a nice chat with her."

  "The party is too much for her to handle," Charlie explained, curling her fingers around Sebastian's. "But we'd love for you and Bob to come for lunch at Magnolia Gardens tomorrow. Mom wants to show the place off to you. They have a marvelous Sunday brunch."

  "That would be wonderful."

  That was all the chitchat Noah could handle, tugging on Susan's hand. "We'll talk later," Susan said, then let herself be led away. "Don't worry, Matt," she called. "I've got him until we find you again."

  "We're holding up the next busload." Will clapped Matt's shoulder. "And we'd better get this guy some food before he wastes away to nothing."

  Yes, he was starving. For Ari. On the bus, he slid into the seat beside her and worked like hell to keep his hands to himself on the short drive. Back at the house, he walked toward the food since it was expected of him, but instead of piling a plate high, he circled the table and headed for the other door.

  "If you don't want me to grab you right here," he murmured to Ari, "you'd better follow. Or I'll be forced to drag you off."

  "You're incorrigible," she said, a pleased lilt in her voice.

  They waded through the crowd toward the back hall and down the spiral staircase to Will's media and game rooms. At the far end, the basement gave way to the pool deck, and Matt led Ari around the corner to the changing rooms Will had built for his pool guests. Opening a door, he nudged her inside.

  "Are you crazy?" she whispered.

  He locked the door, then gathered her into his arms, nuzzling her neck. "Crazy for you."

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Matt kissed her long and hard, pushing her up against the wall, holding her there. Giving herself over to him completely, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him until she couldn't breathe, until her body was melting against his. The small changing room turned into a sauna from the heat they generated, and the little coins on her skirt jingled against him.

  "We should get back to the party before anyone realizes we're missing," she said. But she clung to him because, God help her, she didn't want to go back.

  "I need to love you first, or I'll go crazy. I'm barely keeping it together as it is."

  He raised the material of her skirt, the coins tinkling harder and faster--like the beating of her heart at the word love falling from his lips. Sliding his hands up her thighs, he palmed her sex.

  "God." He closed his eyes as he slipped his fingers into her panties and touched her the way she was dying for. "You're so ready for me. Always so hot and slick."

  She knew she should care that the party was going on all around them, that Noah was out there somewhere and Matt's family was nearby--but she simply couldn't. When Matt touched her, everything else ceased to matter.

  "Your skin is so soft." He dragged down her panties, letting them fall to the floor so Ari could step out of them.

  "This is crazy." Yet she nipped at his mouth, his chin, every hot, sexy, beautiful part of him she could reach.

  He stole her breath with another kiss, backing off only to say, "Tell me you want me as bad as I want you."

  "Please, I need you. So bad." Not just his touch, his kiss.

  She needed all of him.

  He trailed his hands over her body, going down on his knees as he bunched the material of her skirt into her hands. "Don't let go," he commanded in a super sexy tone that made everything inside her sizzle. Then he breathed on her, warm air that sent sensation spiraling down to her center. "I can't get enough of you. I can never get enough."

  He pressed kisses to her warm flesh, and her body blossomed for him. He teased her with those kisses, then opened her to his mouth, tonguing her very center. A wild madness took her over. Moaning, she put her hand to the back of his head as he suckled her and sensation rocketed through her. She whimpered, clutching the skirt tightly in one hand, holding him close with the other. Her legs shook with a rush of pleasure. Her skin heated, and she tipped her head back against the wall, eyes closed, savoring without sight, just as she had the night he'd blindfolded her.

  As he worshipped her with his mouth, she sucked in a breath, feeling the weight of it in her chest before letting it tremble out. And when he entered her with his fingers, finding that sensitive spot inside, the words spilled out.

  "Matt."

  "Please."

  "I love you."

  He held fast to her as her body quaked. He took her higher until she was on the edge, where there was only touch and sensation and the feelings inside her as she came apart, her legs buckling beneath her as she tumbled down into his arms, the little coins jangling.

  He pulled her onto his lap. "God, I need you. Now. I don't care where we are. I need you."

  She wrapped her fists in his lapels, drugged with desire for him. With all her love shining for him. "Yes. Please. Hurry." She couldn't wait.

  Thank God, he had a condom ready, and when it was on, he held her tightly at the waist. "Take me, Ari, all of me."

  She would take everything. Sliding down, the feel of him filling her all the way to her soul, she moaned, digging her fingers into his arms. "Matt," she whispered. And then she well and truly took him, moving fast and crazy, wanting it so badly, feeling his answering need in the pulse of his sex inside her. He held her face, brought her mouth to his and drank down her moans. They moved like one body, one soul, one never-ending kiss.

  Until the world exploded around them, like fireworks, like rockets, like a solar flare. They held on, drained every ounce of pleasure, their bodies fused, an indelible part of each other.

  In a heap on the floor, he held her as her body shuddered with the last tremors of pleasure coursing through her. She lay against him, clutching his tux, keeping him tight against her.

  "You're perfect," he whispered into her hair. "I love the way you come, like you're lost to everything but me."

  "I am lost," she whispered. She had been since the first time she'd seen him with his son. So loving. So sweet.

  "I never meant for this to happen." His words were thick with guilt, and his emotions speared her, sinking even deeper than the first time he'd apologized for taking advantage of her. "The way I felt about you from the moment I saw you. How badly I want you. But I can't stop myself, Ari."

  "No." The one word was harsh on her lips. "Don't tell me you regret anything. That you feel guilty." She looked him straight in the eyes. "Not now. Not after all we've done."

  And not after you know that I love you.

  "Ari--"

  But she wasn't finished. "The first time I saw you, I was attracted to you." She licked her lips, tasting their loving all over again. And not regretting one single second of it. "Just because I didn't know this would happen, that we would become so close, doesn't mean I'm not glad that we have."

  "You need to be with someone hopeful. Someone with a good, clean past who'll never let you down." His anguish made her whole body ache.

  "Matt." How could she make him understand? "You came out of a bad childhood and had a bad relationship, but you're still perfect just the way you are. You've never let anyone down, not Noah, not me. And you deserve happiness."

  He deserved her.

  "More than anything," he said, "I want you to be happy. But I can't leave you alone. I had to touch you tonight."

  "I love that. It makes me feel special. You make me feel special." She couldn't stand to hear him explain again why he shouldn't love her. No one could touch her the way he did without huge feelings. Without love. "And I'm happier than I've ever been."

  "But I haven't found your brother for you."

  "I--" She stopped. She'd been about to say that she knew he would. Because she believed in him with all her heart. But suddenly she saw that her faith in him was just one more screw tightening the pressure on him to always make things right. And if he couldn't, he felt as if he'd let down the people he cared about. "I don'
t expect you to solve my problems, Matt. You're doing your best, and that's all I could ever ask for." He opened his mouth--likely to refute what she'd said--and she put her fingers over his lips. "My brother will come home. Someday, somehow. I feel it in here." She put her hand to her heart. "I'm not expecting you to work miracles. But you've already done more for me than any other person on earth."

  He pulled her close, holding her tightly for a long moment. She could only hope her words had seeped in, but all he said was, "I shouldn't keep you in here any longer, or someone will find us. I know you don't want that."

  Maybe she did want everyone to know. Because it might be the only way Matt would admit his feelings.

  No. She sighed, knowing she couldn't force him. He had to figure it out on his own.

  And she needed to be fearless enough to give him the time and space to get there.

  "I wish we could stay like this all night," she said into the warm crook of his neck. "But we should leave."

  Pulling her to her feet, he left her for a moment to step into the small bathroom. His tux was straight when he came back, and he helped her smooth the layers of her skirt and the tinkling coins. Then he ran his fingers through her hair, gently pulling out the tangles he'd made.

  "Do I look okay?"

  He held her gaze. "Absolutely beautiful."

  "I'll go first." She didn't want to go at all, but the idea of hiding inside the changing room was worse. Her hand on the knob, she was about to dash out the door when he hauled her close for another kiss.

  It was only when she was rushing out onto the pool deck that she remembered her panties were still on the floor.

  *

  Running a hand through his hair, Matt spied the lacy scrap on the floor. He hadn't even taken care to make sure she got them back on.

  I love you.

  She'd said it again.

  And the words haunted him.

  How could she be so sure? She'd said it didn't matter that he hadn't found her brother. But how could he prove himself to her--how could he prove that he was worthy of her--without keeping that promise?

  He scooped up the panties and shoved them deep into his pocket. He would give them back to her tonight. After Noah was asleep and the house was quiet, Matt would ravish her all over again. He couldn't stop, didn't want to stop, even if guilt ate him up from the inside out.

  He walked out and closed the door behind him, turning to head back through the media room.

  And he ran right into Daniel.

  "What the hell are you doing?"

  They'd been best friends since the age of eleven. They'd grown into manhood together. They'd made a pact to get the hell out of Chicago, to make it big, and to always be there for each other. The Maverick pact. Yet the look on Daniel's face was one he'd seen reserved only for outsiders. It was a look that said, One wrong move and it's all over.

  Matt could have said he didn't know what the hell Daniel was talking about, but his friend had obviously seen Ari leave the changing room. He'd clearly been waiting for the man who followed her out, arms crossed over his chest, brows drawn together in a glare that would have made most men's knees crumble.

  Damn it. This was exactly what Matt hadn't wanted to happen. "It isn't your business."

  Daniel slowly unfolded his arms, his fists clenched. "I let her move into your house," he said in a low voice, fueled with rage. "I told her she didn't have to worry. I said you'd protect her the way I have." He moved closer to Matt, every step menacing. "Ari sure as hell is my business. Especially if you're screwing around with her."

  Their voices were covered by the ka-ching of pinball machines, the laughter around the pool table, the clack of a foosball game and the shouts of its contestants. No one noticed them facing off.

  At least, as long as they didn't start brawling.

  "Are you going to deny it?" Daniel asked, his voice as menacing as his stance. "Are you going to make up some candy-assed excuse for why you were in there with Ariana?"

  "Her name's Ari." Matt didn't know why it was so important to point that out. Maybe it was his way of showing Daniel that he knew her better than his friend did. "That's what she likes to be called."

  "Well, I like respecting her by calling her Ariana. Because she's special."

  "You think I don't know just how special she is?" Matt's hands fisted too.

  "Then tell me what the hell you think you're doing with her."

  Somehow, Matt stopped himself from cursing aloud. How could he answer Daniel when he was trying to figure out that very thing?

  What the hell was he doing with her? Loving her? Showing her how special she was?

  Or setting her up--setting both of them up--for heartbreak?

  With some sort of internal Maverick radar, Sebastian appeared on the stairs, followed by Will and Evan. "Look who finally arrived," Will called out.

  But Daniel was already headed through the door to the pool deck. Matt followed. So did the others. Since the Halloween chill had rolled in, the deck was deserted.

  "What's up?" Sebastian asked, his gaze ping-ponging between them.

  "He's making moves on his nanny." Daniel glared at Matt.

  "Jesus, man," Sebastian said. "You're screwing around with Ariana?"

  Evan stared at Matt as though he were a mutant bug, while Will, who'd already figured it all out, kept his mouth shut.

  "She's more than my nanny." He couldn't keep lying to his friends. "And I swear I'm not just screwing around with her."

  "What the hell does that mean?" Daniel growled.

  Matt stared at his friends, his brothers in arms, his blood without being blood. "It means I care for her. That I don't want to hurt her." Hell, hurting Ari was the very last thing he wanted.

  He waited for them to ask the obvious questions. What were his intentions toward her? How did he see her in his and Noah's future? Was he in love with her?

  But, with the same Maverick radar that had pulled all five of them outside, none of them asked. He could guess why. They knew him well enough to understand that his head--that every part of him--was too twisted up right now to give them any straight answers.

  After long, excruciating seconds, Daniel finally said, "If she gets hurt, I will beat the crap out of you."

  Matt met his friend's gaze. "If I hurt her, you have my full permission to tear me to pieces. But right now, this is something Ari and I have to work out ourselves."

  They stared at each other, Daniel's gaze measuring, until finally the tension in his face eased fractionally. "All right," he said. Then he tipped his head like a shaggy dog. "I wouldn't mind if she became family. She's a good kid."

  "She's not a kid, Daniel. She's a beautiful woman."

  "I know that." Then he chucked Matt upside the head. "But you're an asshole for putting her in a compromising position."

  "I am," Matt agreed. "Don't think I don't know how special she is, Daniel. Because I do. I've always known it."

  Daniel slung his arm around his shoulders and herded him back inside. "Just keep treating her like she's special. That's what Ariana deserves. And if you don't"--he knuckled Matt's head--"I won't be the only one who beats the living daylights out of you."

  The guys all hoo-rahed their agreement.

  Ari was sweet, giving, kind, caring--all the things he'd told her last night. Any rational man--a normal guy with a normal upbringing and normal past relationships--would see that loving her couldn't possibly be a mistake.

  But Matt wasn't normal. And no matter how much empathy she had because they'd grown out of similar circumstances, it still didn't change his dark past, his parents, the mirror they'd held up to all his faults, his weaknesses. You're puny and weak and you'll never be a man. And now Matt felt like he was proving exactly that by not telling Ari how he felt about her--by keeping the words she wanted to hear locked up inside him. If only he could be absolutely certain that he wouldn't hurt her later on down the road.

  Will grabbed his arm, jerking him out of his though
ts, holding him back while the others climbed the stairs. "I knew that trip wasn't all about finding Ari's brother."

  "That's what it was supposed to be. I wanted to help her the way she's helped Noah." The truth hit Matt square in the chest. "But I found something else as well."

  A connection to Ari. One so strong it left him reeling.

  "Meeting Harper--" Will smiled with total adoration. "It was like a ton of bricks falling on me. Good thing she was patient, because it took me way too long to figure out I loved her." He looked at Matt. "I see the way you look at Ari. And the way she looks at you." He raised his eyebrows. "Makes me think the bricks might already have fallen." When Matt didn't know how to reply, Will added, "Here's hoping she's as patient with her Maverick as Harper and Charlie were."

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  After the haunted house tours ended, everyone crowded around the fire pit. Ari said a silent thank-you that the fire was covered by a grate so that they wouldn't risk Noah's dinosaur tail going up in flames. The Maverick men had disappeared, but the women they loved, plus Bob, remained.

  And they treated Ari like she was one of their own.

  The only thing unnerving her was that it felt a little hinky to be naked under the skirt, knowing that she and Matt had made love not far from where they all sat.

  Yet she couldn't hold down a thrill at how magical Matt had made her world. She hoped it wouldn't remain a secret much longer. She was bursting with the need to claim him--and his son--as her own. They'd burrowed so deeply into her heart that she now knew she'd never be anywhere near as happy without them.

  "Paige, you make a fabulous Cleopatra," Harper said. "I feel dowdy as Frankenstein." Seated on the end of the bench surrounding the fire pit, Harper held out her white lab coat, letting it balloon around her.

  "At least you don't have to carry around your own asp," Paige said dryly, opening a small covered basket containing a plastic snake.

  Everyone laughed. Paige Ryan was a pretty woman who had been transformed into a sexy siren by the exotic paint and gauzy dress of Cleopatra.