Freaky Witches (A Mystic Caravan Mystery Book 7)

by Amanda M. Lee

  “That smells lovely,” Max said as Winnie, Marnie and Twila delivered three huge platters of food to the table. “What is that?”

  “It’s basically a fancy taco bar,” Thistle explained. “One platter has meat — looks like chicken, pork, beef, steak and eggplant.”

  “Ugh.” Nellie made a disgusted face. “Who puts eggplant on a taco?”

  “Vegetarians,” Thistle replied without hesitation. “There are vegetables on another platter. Warm tortillas over there. Sour cream. All the fixings.” She rubbed her hands together, happy. “I love taco bar night.”

  It took everything I had not to laugh at her enthusiasm. “Who doesn’t love tacos?” I agreed. I shifted my gaze to the far end of the table, where Landon sat between Tillie and Bay. It was obvious he served as some sort of babysitter for the eldest Winchester, which made me think of Max, who was doing everything he could to warn Nellie to stop fidgeting.

  “This is a great place,” Kade offered, unfolding his napkin and smiling at the two elderly women to his right. I recognized them from downtown the day I was playing parlor games with Luke. Shirley Peters and Adele Wood, I reminded myself. They were so thrilled to be in Hemlock Cove they could barely see straight.

  “Thank you.” Winnie beamed at Kade before winking at Terry, who sat next to Bay. That seemed a weird configuration, but the table was so full I figured they might’ve had to shuffle things around to accommodate everyone. “We’re proud of it.”

  “Did you design it yourselves?” Max, always adept at comfortable conversation, glanced around the room. “The moldings are gorgeous.”

  “We did design it ourselves,” Winnie confirmed. “The area behind the kitchen is the old homestead. That’s the family living quarters now, only accessible through the kitchen and a back stairwell that we lock. We originally built a bed and breakfast before expanding several years ago.”

  “It’s a lovely space.” Max leaned back in his chair and focused on Tillie. “I assume this is your property.”

  “I own half of it,” Tillie replied, making a stark throat-cutting sign in Thistle’s direction. They seemed to be performing a mime act only they could see. The blond man sitting next to Thistle grabbed her arm before she could return what I assumed was a ruder gesture.

  “Aunt Tillie owns half the property and we own the other half together,” Winnie explained, gesturing toward her, Marnie and Twila for emphasis.

  “And you’ll obviously pass the property on to the younger three when it’s time,” Max prodded. “That’s quite the legacy.”

  “We’re not giving anything to Thistle,” Tillie countered, plugging her fingers in her mouth as she stuck out her tongue at Thistle. “We only reward nice girls.”

  Clove brightened. “Does that mean I’ll inherit by myself?”

  “No, you little suck-up,” Tillie replied, dropping her hands from her mouth. “I’m considering leaving the property to Marcus because he’s the only one who doesn’t annoy me.”

  “Oh, you say the sweetest things,” Landon said, grinning as he grabbed tortillas from the warmer. He placed some on Bay’s plate and his own before handing the container to Tillie. “I think you really want to leave it to me.”

  “Yes, because I want to reward ‘The Man’ for poking his nose in my business,” she drawled. “That sounds just like me.”

  I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead to ward off an oncoming headache. This family put our makeshift tribe to shame ... and that was saying something.

  “I could still arrest you like Bay wants,” Landon warned. “I might be tired, but if you push me ... .”

  “I just love the dinner theater here,” Adele enthused, leaning closer to Luke as she smiled at me. “Isn’t it amazing? I think they deserve Oscars.”

  Is that what this was? Dinner theater? It seemed somehow worse. Like Dynasty meets the Kardashians worse.

  “They’re very ... spirited,” Max said, causing Kade to cough into his hand to cover his laughter.

  “Very spirited,” Luke agreed. “They’re so spirited I think they might be possessed.”

  “I think I’m in love,” Nellie supplied, resting his chin on his hand as he stared at Tillie. “She is a magnificent creature!”

  “Oh, good grief,” I muttered. “You need to stop mooning like that. Have you no pride? I mean ... come on. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “Hey, you and your security stud muffin have been taking afternoon ‘naps’ for three days straight,” Nellie shot back. “Do you think we don’t know what that’s about?”

  “Oh, give them a break,” Luke said. “They just said the L-word to each other. They’re floating on clouds and crap. It’ll pass.”

  My eyes went wide as I turned to Kade. “I swear I didn’t tell him. I mean ... I was going to. I wanted to. But we needed time to do it right. A best friends night with chocolate. I don’t know how it got out this fast.”

  “I do.” Kade was calm. “I told him.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You told him?”

  He nodded, blasé. “Hey, I want someone to gush to occasionally, too. It was either him or Max ... and I wasn’t sure I was ready to bond that way with Max.”

  Instead of being offended, Max smiled. “I think it’s cute. It’s like my kids are dating.”

  I made a face. “That’s kind of gross.”

  “Yes, but I think of you as a daughter,” Max said. “He’s my son. It’s as if my kids are dating.”

  I shook my head to dislodge the thought. “Yes, well ... .” Whatever I was going to say died on my lips as the inn suddenly started flashing an eerie red color and an alarm dinged from the inner bowels of the house.

  “What the heck is that?” Thistle screeched, hopping to her feet, a fork clutched in her hand. “Did you guys get a security system?”

  “We most certainly did not,” Winnie snapped, glancing around. “Who did that?”

  The annoyed look on Bay’s face when she slid her eyes to Tillie told me everything I needed to know. It was obvious who did it, because the alarm was magical in origin.

  “Ha!” Tillie slammed her hands on the table and stood, her eyes wide as she locked gazes with Nellie. “I set a trap and someone sprang it. You know what that means.”

  Nellie pumped his fist. “Yahoo! But ... I wish I’d brought my ax.”

  I could do nothing but stare as they scrambled toward the swinging door that led to the kitchen. Then I realized what was about to happen.

  “Wait.” I lurched at the same time as Bay. “We can’t just let them do whatever they want with whoever they catch.”

  Terry sighed. “There go my tacos.”

  IN RETROSPECT, IT WAS PROBABLY a mistake to race outside in a big crowd as we did. We essentially looked like complete morons from afar, but that didn’t stop us.

  Tillie was through the back door first, Nellie and Landon close behind. Thistle, Terry and Bay went through together, and the rest of our group filed outside at a slower pace. Clove was behind us, but I was convinced that was because she really didn’t want to see what was happening outside and only came because she didn’t want to be left out.

  There was no time to study the family living quarters as we raced through them, but the homey vibe made me smile. That didn’t last when we reached the back patio, because agitation was the name of the game when Tillie stopped to take a breath.

  “Where?” Luke asked, scanning the backyard.

  Tillie narrowed her eyes and pointed. “They’re on my bluff! Cheeky little buggers.”

  Those in better shape – Kade, Landon, Terry and Luke – reached the clearing first. Nellie tried to keep up, but his short legs wouldn’t allow it. The rest of us arrived a few seconds later, and the sight in front of us was almost impossible to explain.

  There, in the center of the bluff, the three women we were looking for stood with their arms stretched toward the sky. They’d started a bonfire big enough to illuminate the entire area, so visibility wasn’t an issue.
They wore white dresses that were practically transparent in nature, so it was possible to see everything underneath ... and apparently panties and bras weren’t invited to the big dance. They appeared to be in their own little world.

  “Don’t look.” Luke slapped his hand over Kade’s eyes.

  “Knock that off.” Kade grappled with Luke. “I don’t want to look at them, but I need to in case they attack.”

  “I don’t think they’re attacking with anything other than bad dancing,” Thistle noted, cocking her head to the side as she regarded the women. “What are their names again?”

  “Madison, Emily and Jamie,” I supplied. “I saw them in town a few days ago.”

  “Join us,” Madison invited as she skipped around the circle, her hair bouncing. “We’re about to start the ritual.”

  That didn’t sound good. “What ritual?”

  “Wait.” Max extended his hand to keep me from rushing headlong into danger. “Don’t go over there in case ... .” He left it hanging.

  “I agree.” Kade was firm. “You stay right here with us. This is a job for the super witches.”

  The look Tillie shot him was withering. “Thank you, Captain Wussypants,” she drawled. “You’re right, though. I will take it from here.” She strolled forward, planting herself less than a foot away from the circle the invading witches had drawn with what looked to be colored chalk. “Are you friend or foe?”

  I pressed my lips together in an effort to refrain from laughing at the surreal situation.

  “We’re friends, Mother Winchester,” Jamie replied. “How could you think otherwise?”

  “Did she just call me ‘mother’?” Tillie looked to Bay for confirmation.

  “Is there something you want to tell us, Aunt Tillie?” Thistle chortled, clearly enjoying herself. “Do you have a bunch of illegitimate witches running around out there?”

  “Shut up, mouth!” Tillie extended a warning finger in Thistle’s direction. “There’s only so much I’m willing to take right now.” She focused on Jamie. “What’s your damage?”

  “We want to join your coven,” Jamie replied simply. “We feel you’re in a position to teach us everything we need to know.”

  I lifted my nose to the air, not to scent like Raven, but to feel for power. There was absolutely nothing of substance there.

  “I don’t think they’re witches,” I whispered to no one in particular.

  Tillie glanced over her shoulder and glared. “Of course they’re not witches. They’re wannabes. I mean ... look at that. They started a fire with gasoline and newspapers.”

  “Hey!” Bay’s eyes widened. “They stole those newspapers from the recycling bin at The Whistler. They should be arrested.”

  “Yes, sweetie, that’s what we should worry about,” Landon drawled. “Recycled newspaper theft is a blight on this community.”

  “I’ll show you a blight later,” Bay muttered.

  Landon grinned as he moved closer to the three women. “Ladies, you’re trespassing. I have to ask you to leave.”

  Emily glared at him, furious. “You can’t make us leave. We belong here. We’re one of them.”

  “If you claim that, and believe it, I might have you locked up in a psych hospital,” Terry said.

  “Take Aunt Tillie, too,” Thistle suggested.

  “Can it, Thistle!” Tillie snapped. Her eyes were steady on the women. “I don’t understand what you’re doing here. Why would you possibly think we have a coven?”

  “There’s talk of you online,” Emily replied simply. “You’ve been mentioned several times on the Watcher on the Witchtower website. We want to be members of your coven because we feel we’re being ignored by those in our own.”

  “Yeah, we don’t want to light candles and chant,” Jamie added. “We want to curse people and put boils on their butts.”

  Thistle pointed at Tillie. “She’s your woman. There’s little more she loves than a good butt boil.”

  “Thank you, Thistle,” Tillie groused. “I love it when you say things like that.”

  “Then don’t put boils on people’s butts.”

  “I did that like once.”

  Thistle folded her arms over her chest.

  “Fine. Ten times,” Tillie corrected. “I haven’t done it in years, though. Not since it went out of style.”

  Max grinned as he slid his eyes to Nellie. “I think I’m starting to fall in love, too.”

  Nellie was having none of it. “I’ll fight you to the death if you’re not careful.”

  The longer the conversation continued, the more I realized that we were at a virtual standstill. “So ... these probably aren’t the women we’re looking for,” I said finally.

  Bay, apparently, had come to the same conclusion. “No. I’m sure they’ll have to be questioned, but they’re nutty, not homicidal.”

  Landon rubbed his hand over Bay’s back as he watched the women continue to dance while trying to rhyme “toil and trouble” with “on the double.”

  “I say we lock them up and let them sweat it out overnight,” Landon said.

  “You just don’t want to miss out on time with Bay,” Terry muttered.

  “There’s chocolate cake inside,” Landon argued. “They also made turtle cheesecake. Do you want to miss that?”

  Terry straightened. “Good point. Ladies, we’re going to have to arrest you. I’m sure we can figure out exactly what’s going on tomorrow morning, so it shouldn’t be a terribly long stay. We need to make sure you’re not dangerous.”

  Kade slid his eyes to me. “I’m kind of glad we didn’t miss out on dinner. It makes our meals look downright relaxing.”

  26

  Twenty-Six

  The rest of the evening went pretty much as I expected. Terry and Landon removed the three overzealous witches from the property. The women kept threatening to curse them, but the rhymes they unfurled were right out of a Poetry for Dummies book.

  The food was good, the conversation continued to zing, and the elderly tourists kept cackling with glee thanks to the dinner theater.

  I was exhausted when we returned to the fairgrounds and gratefully fell into bed, my mind a bit sluggish. When I woke, I found myself staring directly into Kade’s expressive eyes.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked, worry coursing through me.

  “No. Stay there.” He tightened his arm around my back and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “There’s nothing wrong.”

  He was calm, serene even. He also looked as if he was about to burst into laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked, making a face. “You look as if you’re having a good time, which is interesting, because we’ve been asleep for nine hours.”

  “I’ve been up for an hour watching you sleep,” he countered.

  “That’s kind of creepy.”

  “I find it romantic.”

  “If some random dude were to watch me sleep, I don’t think you’d find it romantic.”

  “True, but I’m not some random dude.”

  “Definitely not.” I snuggled closer, pressing my cheek to his chest. “Did you sleep okay?”

  He nodded as he smoothed my out-of-control bedhead. “I did. It seems that your potion trick worked.”

  “I only did that once. You did it yourself the other nights.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m still debating if I should be angry about that.”

  “I vote no.”

  He chuckled. “Is it any wonder I love you?”

  Instead of offering him a smile and basking in the words, I scowled. “Oh, man, you’re already ahead of me for the day.”

  “I know. Isn’t life grand?”

  Actually, life was pretty grand right now ... other than the fact that there was a murderer on the loose and every avenue we checked seemed to be a dead end. “What did you think of dinner last night?”

  He shrugged. “It was loud. It reminded me of some of our dinners.”

  “I thought they were louder than us
.”

  “Which is frightening, huh?”

  “Maybe a little.”

  We lapsed into silence, the only sound coming from the overhead fan. I was the first to break it because my busy mind wouldn’t allow for tranquility when there was so much going on.

  “It was nice that Max joined us.”

  He cast me a sidelong look. “Are you fishing for information on my relationship with my father?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, other than the fact that he called you his kid last night — which kind of grossed me out — things are okay with us. I think it’s going to take some time to get back to where we were, but it will probably happen.”

  It wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, but it was a much better response than he’d offered up weeks before. When he first found out about Max’s duplicity, he vowed to cut him out of his life forever. I knew he didn’t mean it, because if he had he would’ve left the circus. That would’ve ended with a broken heart for me, but it might’ve been the best thing for Kade.

  Now that option really was out of his reach. He was magical, and he was right where he belonged.

  “I’m glad you decided to stay.” I burrowed closer. “I thought you might run after ... maybe that you would be happy to get away from me because I lied. I would’ve been crushed if you’d left.”

  It was hard for me to admit because I always wanted to appear strong, but it was the truth.

  “Hey.” Kade cupped my chin and stared into my eyes. “I was never going to leave. I was angry when I found out, but the thought of leaving never entered my mind.”

  I was dubious. “Never?”

  “Okay, maybe briefly, but it wasn’t ever a real consideration.”

  “Because of me?”

  He smiled. “Mostly because of you,” he replied after a moment’s consideration. “I think I knew you were the one for me from that very first meeting.”