by Codi Gary
“I never wanted to stop.” Her eyes widened at his brutally honest admission and he kept talking before he lost his nerve. “I know I should have never put you in the position I did, and I should have apologized sooner but I honestly didn’t think you wanted to hear from me. It’s been rough imagining you were somewhere, hating me, but I didn’t know how to break the ice.”
Anna Beth took a step toward him. “I never hated you. I was upset and frustrated, but I know I hurt you, too. I tried to call you hundreds of times, but I didn’t know what to say either. I figured you’d either hang up on me or avoid my phone call.”
“I only hang up on those people who tell me the IRS wants me to send $1500 in Target gift cards.”
Jared grinned when Anna Beth threw back her head and laughed.
“Look at us, discussing our feelings like healthy adults,” he said.
She returned his smile. “Yeah, this whole open communication thing...who knew, right?”
Jared almost reached for her hand, but held himself back. He didn’t want her to misunderstand his intentions again, and crossed his arms over his chest to keep his hands busy. “I’d like it if we could spend time together. Even if you do leave and head back to LA, I don’t want us to lose touch again.”
Anna Beth cleared her throat. “I’m not going back to LA.”
“You’re not? Where are you going to live?”
“I’m not sure where I’m headed next. I’m taking things one step at a time, you know?”
No, he had no idea what that was like because he always had a plan. He’d known what he was doing before he graduated. He’d planned for the type of house he wanted to buy. There had been too much uncertainty in his early years to go without structure and security.
The only thing in his life he couldn’t plan for? Emotions. Those suckers came out of nowhere and he had a hard time dealing with them, as his past actions support.
“Sounds like you’re taking off on an adventure.”
“I’m not sure I’d call it that. I need a change, that’s all I know.” To his surprise, she reached for his hand. “But I’d like to spend time with you while I’m here.”
“Good. Me too.”
She dropped his hand and he missed the warmth of her touch immediately. Maybe he’d been lonelier than her thought. He had acquaintances, dates, but not a lot of close friends, besides Vance. And he wasn’t exactly the comforting type.
“I’m sorry I overreacted before,” she said. “Being back has me a little high strung. With the holidays, my aunt, Ian’s list--”
“List?” He repeated.
Anna Beth’s mouth opened and shut several times as she stuttered, “Yeah, I’m…well, you see…it’s just...hard to explain.”
Now he was intrigued. “I can handle it. Lay it on me.”
She sighed. “I know it sounds a little crazy, but Ian had a flair for the dramatic. In his will, he left me a list of things he wanted me to accomplish for him after he passed.”
“Wow, that’s…like a bucket list?”
“Kind of. By proxy. They are things he wants me to do as a sort of sendoff.”
Jared’s stomach tightened in knots. This is why she’d come back? Not because she wanted to, but because of Ian? “How many things?”
“There were one hundred and eighty, but I’m down to thirteen. Wait, twelve. I keep forgetting Olive.”
He cocked his head, giving her a puzzled look. “Olive was on the list?”
“Sort of. It was “see an old friend.” Not her specifically.”
“Do you get extra points for seeing more than one?”
“No, it’s not a points thing.”
Jared turned his back on the banister, leaning against it. “So what else is on it? Climb Mt. Everest, or something?”
Anna Beth chuckled. “No, simpler tasks. I’m not sure I want to get into it.”
Jared nodded, thinking about the letter from Ian sitting in his top drawer at home. He’d asked Jared to help Anna Beth when she came back to town, but the letter was sent two years ago. Why would he want Jared to help Anna Beth with a post-bucket list?
Still, if the list meant spending more time with Anna Beth...
“Well, I’m not trying to pry, but if you need help doing any of them, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks, Jared. That’s really sweet.”
As much as he enjoyed having Anna Beth to himself, the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees in the last few minutes and he was freezing. “It’s getting cold. We should get back inside and help with the tree. It’s a lot of fun. Dad is usually pretty liberal with the brandy in the eggnog, so one sip should warm you right up.”
Anna Beth hesitated, before taking a step toward the stairs. “Actually, I think I’m going to go back to my aunts. Will you thank your mom for me and tell everyone I said good-bye?”
“Yeah, sure. Be careful driving.” He stuck out his hand. “Here, give me your phone. I’ll put my number in.”
“Is it the same one you had in high school?”
“Yeah?”
“Then I already have it.”
The realization that she hadn’t given up on him sent a zing of excitement through Jared’s body.
“Text me when you get home.”
“I will.” To his surprise, Anna Beth walked back to him and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
Jared held her loosely, afraid if he pulled her too close, she’d bolt. He breathed her in slowly, the scent of fresh baked bread and fruity perfume mingling deliciously. She relaxed against him, laying her cheek on his chest and he reached up to stroke her hair.
Finally, she pulled away with an awkward laugh.
“Sorry. I forgot what good hugs you give.”
“Well, the first ones free, but I charge five dollars per after that.”
“Seems pricey.”
“I’m a cop. Gotta keep myself in coffee and donuts somehow.”
She shook her head as she turned away. Glancing back over her shoulder, she headed down the porch steps. “I’ll be sure to bring my wallet the next time I see you.”
“Sounds good. Text me when you get home.”
“I said I would. Damn, you still love to mother hen, don’t you? Must be what makes you such a good cop. You care about everyone.”
Especially you.
He couldn’t say that out loud, though. “I’ll try to be more of a bad cop.”
She stopped at the bottom of the steps; her expression serious. “Don’t change. Caring the way, you do is an amazing quality.”
Jared’s cheeks burned at the compliment. “I really couldn’t if I wanted to. It’s in my nature to worry.”
“It’s one of the things I lo...like about you.” Jared hadn’t missed her slip of the tongue, but didn’t dwell on it. Slipping back into old habits seemed like an easy feat for both of them. Anna Beth used to tell him all the things she loved about him. She’d caught herself now probably because she didn’t want him to get the wrong impression, but she didn’t need to worry. Being friends with her was all he wanted.
“Glad to hear you still like me.”
Anna Beth’s gaze lifted and she whispered, “I never stopped.”
The air around them charged as their gazes met and held. Anna Beth was the first one to look away, taking a step down the walkway.
“Goodnight, Jared.”
“Night.” Jared watched her head down the walkway to her car. As Anna Beth cut across the edge of the lawn, the first few snowflakes fell, like white puffs of cotton candy. Jared shook his head. His life was as unpredictable as the weather.
Anna Beth pulled out onto the road just as the door behind him opened and Savannah stepped out. “Brrr, geez, is it finally snowing? Good thing Gil is driving us home.” Savannah came up alongside him, her arm brushing his. “Where is Anna Beth?”
“She needed to get home to her aunt.”
Savannah gazed out into the night, which w
as getting whiter by the minute. “Are you sure that was it?”
“Pretty sure that’s what she said.”
“But what did you say to her before she bowed out?”
Jared glared at her. “Why do you think I said something?”
“Because I know you. You have a tendency to put your foot in your mouth with most people, I’m sure it’s worse with the woman you love.”
Jared sputtered. “I don’t love Anna Beth.”
Savannah scoffed. “Oh, yeah, okay. Sure.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She put her hands on her hips, facing off with him. “You don’t remember, do you?”
“Remember what?”
“A few weeks after Anna Beth left town, Vance called me. The two of you were too drunk to drive, so I picked you up. After I dropped Vance off, you could barely walk so I had to help you inside. You told me everything.”
Jared grimaced. “Shit.”
Savannah dropped her hands from her hips and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know it broke your heart to lose her, but I hope you aren’t still butt hurt that she didn’t choose you.”
“No. We’re friends.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah, except she’s leaving the day after Christmas. We’ll reconnect just in time for her to move on.”
“She might change her mind. Snowy Springs has this magical way of drawing people in.”
The way she said it, along with the small smile on her lips, gave him pause.
“Savannah…”
“What?”
“Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t.”
“I wasn’t plotting anything.”
“Aha! Your Freudian slip proves you are up to no good.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I know you. You like playing matchmaker, but I am telling you, I don’t feel that way about Anna Beth anymore. I just want to get back what we had before, and if you mess with that by plotting one of your big romantic traps, I’m going to tell mom about the time you borrowed her diamond earrings and lost them."
"First of all, they aren’t traps, they’re well thought out plans. Secondly, I replaced the earrings and, third, she already knew, so joke’s on you."
Jared grabbed her in a headlock like when they were kids and playfully dragged her toward the front door. “I mean it!”
She squirmed away from him and grinned. “Fine! I won’t meddle. But I can’t speak for the rest of the Jeffries. Everyone wants to see you happy.”
Jared groaned, knowing she was right. If Mom or Isa got wind that he still had feelings for Anna Beth, he’d be doomed.
Ten
Fat, wet snowflakes landed on Anna Beth’s windshield as soon as she pulled out onto the road.
Awesome. Just what I need after that emotional rollercoaster.
Anna Beth hated driving in harsh weather, especially when it came down like meteors from space.
She could’ve made it through the rest of the night with the Jeffries, but talking to Jared about being friends again got her thinking. In less than three weeks she’d be gone again. Rebuilding deep, emotional connections seemed like a way to complicate things rather than an attempt to resolve them.
Especially when those connections might not be as platonic as she’d originally thought.
It could be loneliness. It had been over a year since someone held her, and she’d known Jared a long time. He was kind and funny and good-looking. It was only natural for her to feel attracted to him. She felt safe with him.
Olive’s voice flitted through her mind, reminding her of her mutually beneficial relationship with Vance. Anna Beth immediately brushed the idea aside. Even if she was down for a little recreational mattress Mambo, it wouldn’t be with Jared, not with their history.
He’s not in love with you anymore. What’s the harm in a little quid pro quo?
She knew the answer before she even finished the thought. Anna Beth wanted Jared back in her life but she didn’t want things to get all screwy again.
By the time she reached the edge of town, the snow was hammering down on her with a vengeance. She couldn’t see anything except swirling flakes and the snow-covered highway. Suddenly, her high beams flashed across a shape in the road. She swerved to miss it; her heart thundering painfully fast.
What the hell was that?
Anna Beth pulled over onto the side of the highway and grabbed the flashlight from under her seat. She rolled her window down and swung the beam of light in the middle of the road at the lump. It slowly turned its head and looked at her. By the shape of the ears, she realized it was a small cat.
Climbing out of the car, Anna Beth didn’t stop to consider how dangerous it was to cross into the middle of the highway in a blinding snowstorm. With her car still running on the side of the road, she hustled toward the animal, expecting it to bolt. Snow hit the side of her neck and face, melting against her warm skin and dripping down under her sweater.
The kitten didn’t move. It hunkered down when Anna Beth knelt next to it, the snow on the road soaking through the denim of her jeans. The bitter cold stung her skin but she ignored it as she reached out to touch the snow-covered feline. Her hand pressed along its thin back and it shivered. If it was hurt, she feared picking it up and injuring it further, but she needed to get them both out of the road before someone came along. It would be just her luck to get hit trying to be a hero.
Shrugging out of her jacket, she wrapped it around the kitten and picked it up. Tears stung her eyes as the poor thing continued to quiver, but it didn’t try to escape. She carried it back to her car and by the time she shut the door on the blowing snow, her body shook with cold.
While the hot air in her car slowly took the bite out of Anna Beth, she flipped on the dome light and pulled back the coat to get a look at the kitten. It meowed weakly, never opening its eyes. She could make out stripes on its forehead and a white mask around it’s tightly shut eyes. Her heart constricted as she rubbed the slight body through her jacket, simultaneously trying to warm it and let it know it was safe.
“Hey, baby, what were you doing out there in the middle of the road? Are you lost? Or did some A-hole dump you?”
The kitten finally opened its eyes and lifted it’s head to look at her. The kitten released a raspy meow. Anna Beth hadn’t had a cat since before her parents passed, so she wasn’t sure if that was normal. Their family cat had passed a few months before her parents and when she’d moved in with her aunt, Anna Beth never bothered asking for another pet. Ian had been highly allergic to animals and couldn’t be around cat’s long, but she’d always wanted another pet.
She nestled the kitten onto her passenger seat, still wrapped in her coat. Once her seat belt was clipped in, she pulled the car back out onto the street and headed for her aunt's. Sarah would probably flip out when she saw what Anna Beth brought home, but there was no way she could leave it to die. If she had to, she would find a temporary place for her and the furry baby to stay.
Another weak meow came from her cold passenger and she crooned to the kitten. “It’s okay, honey. We’re almost there. I’ll get you inside and dry you off. Then I’ll get you some food.”
By the time she pulled into the driveway, the kitten was meowing loudly, and frequently, although it hadn’t moved from the safety of her coat. She turned off the car and swiftly picked up the wrapped kitten, before bolting for the front door as quarter size flakes came down around her, sticking to every surface she passed. She carried the cat into the house, mentally preparing herself for the explosion from her aunt. Anna Beth opened the door with one hand, the kitty clutched against her chest and stepped over the threshold.
With the door shut behind her, she leaned back against the wood and breathed a heavy sigh. What a night.
“Anna Beth? You’re home earlier than I expected.”
Here we go…
“Everyone asked about you today, but I told them you had to get your writing...done.”
Anna Beth straightened as her aunt came into the entryway from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. Her eyes immediately went to the squirming jacket in Anna Beth’s arms. “What do you have there?”
Anna Beth pulled the jacket back, revealing the kitten’s damp head. It looked around, meowing, its blue green eyes wide with fear.
“I saw her huddled in the middle of the road, getting snowed on and not moving. I couldn’t leave her. If you don’t want to have her here, I can ask Olive if we can crash with her, but it’s really coming down outside, and I’d rather not go back out in it.”
Sarah’s expression gave nothing away as she walked over slowly, her low heels clicking on the wood floor. To Anna Beth’s surprise, she tsked sympathetically and ran her hand over the kitten’s head, stopping to rub one of her ears.
“It’s a good thing you found her. Or him.” She handed Anna Beth the small towel she’d carried into the room. “Start drying her with that. I’ll go get some more towels. Head on into the living room and I’ll meet you there.”
Still in shock at her aunt’s calm reaction, Anna Beth did what she was told and sat down on the couch with the kitten in her arms. She turned the coat back and rubbed the towel over the damp fur, feeling the bones on its back and sides. She cringed at the obvious neglect the skinny creature had endured and her heart melted as she felt it purring against her hand.
“You’re going to be okay, little one.”
Sarah came in with two towels and a wide smile on her face. “Here we go. That hand towel is probably soaked by now.” Sarah opened the towel on her lap and reached over to take the kitten. She wrapped her up and started rubbing her all over.
“Poor thing doesn’t weigh much,” Sarah said, holding her inside the towel.
“She doesn’t seem to be hurt. Just cold and scared.”
Sarah’s lips thinned. “And starving. Someone probably dumped her and she was out looking for food when the storm hit.” Sarah rubbed the top of the kitten’s head until her fur stood on end. “Could you imagine neglecting such a sweet face.”
The high inflection in her aunt’s voice was new and a bit unsettling. “I thought you’d be upset. I didn’t know you liked cats.”