Unhinged

by Chani Lynn Feener

  People were already dancing, the center of the gym, also known as the dance floor, completely crowded by flailing arms and legs.

  “This is it, guys,” Syd said. “This is our last homecoming dance. Can’t you feel the memories practically making themselves?”

  “Does that even make sense?” Quinn asked.

  “I really don’t think so.” Spencer shook her head, though her friend’s enthusiasm was infectious.

  “Come on! Let’s dance!” Syd tugged on their arms, but Spencer resisted.

  “Um, not yet. You guys go. I’ll be there in a little.”

  “Spencer, you swore we were going to have fun tonight, remember?”

  “I know, I know. I will. I am. Just, give me a moment.”

  “It’s her first dance without Micah,” Quinn whispered to Sydney, obviously trying to keep it too quiet for her to overhear, and failing.

  “Right,” Syd heaved a sigh. “Well, fine. But if you’re not out there within the next fifteen minutes I’m coming back for you, and you will not like me if I do.”

  “Understood.” Spencer held up her hands in surrender and laughed as her friends went to join the throngs of dancers.

  Sliding into one of the seats, she silently promised herself that she would go out there before Syd had to make good on her threat. At least she no longer had to worry about the God of Death trailing her or the people she cared about. Why would she, when Micah wasn’t coming up to “visit” anymore?

  Aside from her night trips to the Underworld, she could start building a normal life again. When Micah got back, she’d still be here waiting, and they’d have nine months worth of stuff to talk about.

  “Spencer, hey,” Brodie stepped over to her table, grinning a boyishly. He looked cute in his black dress pants and button up.

  “Hi, Brodie,” she greeted him. The day after his drunken/possessed attack he hadn’t remembered a thing. She wasn’t going to hold it against him. “Great job in the game.”

  “Oh, yeah, thanks.” He ran a hand through his hair and tugged at his collar for show. “I was surprised to see you back on the squad. Good for you. Anyway, I came over because I was wondering if you’d like to dance?”

  She was about to politely turn him down, when movement caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She glanced over just in time to see Hadrian step out of the crowd. It was all she could do to keep her jaw from dropping.

  A white button up was tucked into his white skinny jeans. A black pinstriped vest had been buttoned over it, and on his feet were shiny black dress shoes. He’d rolled the sleeves up, and for the first time she noticed a tattoo positioned on his right forearm, right by the curve of his elbow.

  The words, Give into Desire, Swim through the river of Fire, were written in looping script. She’d never seen it there before.

  When she finally lifted her gaze up to his face, she found him staring back with that crooked grin of his that sent electricity racing down her spine. His blue eyes seemed to glow in the strobe lights, paralyzing her to the spot with their ethereal beauty.

  “She’s spoken for, actually,” he said to Brodie then, not even sparing the guy a glance.

  She would have argued, but currently couldn’t remember how to use her voice. Instead, she sat there as Brodie turned and awkwardly walked away, leaving the two of them alone at the table.

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, she collected herself and managed to narrow her eyes. “That was rude.”

  “Was it?” He took the seat closest to hers, left knee brushing against her thigh and staying there. “You weren’t going to say yes to him anyway, so technically I just did you a favor.”

  “That so?”

  “Oh, it’s very much so. You see I saved you the trouble of having to hurt poor little mortal Brodie’s feelings. He’ll move on to Becca, or whatever her name is—the annoying one who talks too much in class?—and all will be forgotten.”

  She laughed and shook her head at him. Where did he come up with half this crap? And why did she always buy into it?

  “What are you doing here, Hadrian?” she asked.

  He pointed towards the center of the gym, where Ferris was now dancing between Quinn and Syd. “The Ferryman wanted to come. I agreed to accompany him.”

  She refused to admit that slight sinking feeling was disappointment. She had not for a second there believed he’d come for her.

  Yeah right.

  “Quinn didn’t tell me he was coming.”

  “That’s because she didn’t know,” he informed her, watching her a little too intently for comfort. “He wanted to surprise her.”

  “They’ve been spending a lot of time together.” Why had her voice just dropped a few octaves?

  “Yes,” he agreed. “They have.”

  She looked over as Ferris spun Quinn around in his arms. The two of them laughed along with Syd who’d begun dancing with Brodie.

  “Looks like he found another partner after all,” Hadrian said quietly, following the direction of her gaze. He stood and held out a hand for her. “Would you like to dance, Spencer?”

  She was nodding her head and placing her palm in his before she even knew what she was doing. As he led her out to the dance floor, she kept thinking about how upset Micah would be if he knew. Then again, he wouldn’t know, because he’d chosen to remain in the Underworld for the next nine months without her.

  Hadrian spun her into his arms, pressing his right hand against her lower back, holding her flush against his body just as the upbeat song ended and a slow one started up. When she tried to pull away he shook his head, tightening his grip.

  “You promised me a dance.”

  “Yeah, that’s when it was a fast paced friendly dance,” she countered.

  He flashed her that wicked grin. “Is this not a friendly dance, then?”

  “It’s definitely friendly, if you know what I mean.”

  “Finally,” he leaned in a little closer so that she felt his hot breath fan across her cheeks, “something we can agree on.”

  She rolled her eyes and glanced away in an attempt to hide her blush. “So, Micah—”

  He sighed dramatically. “Could we not talk about the boy for once?”

  “I’m the same age as him.”

  “That’s not how I meant it, you know that. I didn’t come here to talk about your relationship with St. James, Spencer.”

  “No,” she agreed, anger flaring behind her green eyes, “you came here because Ferris dragged you. Since when has it mattered if I bring up Micah anyway?”

  “It’s always mattered.” He refused to look at her now, slowly twisting them in tiny circles as he glared at nothing over her shoulders. “I’ve just always been better at keeping that fact hidden, that’s all. I’m tired of hiding, of playing games. He left you, Spencer.”

  “He didn’t,” she said. “Not really. He just wants to keep me safe, that’s all.”

  “Yes, because hanging out with his dearly departed dad had nothing to do with his eagerness to remain down below.” He pressed her closer. “After everything you’ve gone through for him, he was so willing to give you up.”

  “It’s only for nine months,” she told him, despite the fact she felt exactly the same way about the situation.

  “So then give me nine months to prove to you that he’s not the right one.”

  She froze, thinking that the music must be screwing with her head and causing her to hear things. The truth of it, however, was clear in his eyes when she tilted her head up to meet his gaze.

  “Huh?” Shit. There was that stupid cat again. Fortunately, he didn’t point it out this time.

  “I wouldn’t willingly give up a moment with you,” he said softly. “I don’t know what it is about you that get’s to me, Spencer, but there’s something. There’s something here,” he motioned between them, “and I want the chance to figure it out.”

  “You’re curious,” the words came out before she could stop them, and with a
little too much bile behind them as well. Of course it all came down to that. Wasn’t it how this whole damn thing started in the first place?

  “I knew that word would come back to bite me,” he grated. “Can you honestly think that’s all this is about? Have you really grown so comfortable with Micah St. James that you can no longer see attraction in another man’s eyes when he looks at you?”

  “You’re…attracted to me?”

  “And it’s driving me insane,” he added. “When I thought that car was going to hit you, that you were about to die…I haven’t felt that scared in longer than I can remember. I don’t like caring for people, Spencer, especially not mortal people. But I can’t seem to shake you, and now I don’t want to.”

  Before she could let herself tumble down the rabbit hole, she took a deep breath. This wasn’t right, being here in his arms, dancing with him at the senior dance. Micah was supposed to be her date. It was supposed to him saying all these sweet things to her.

  “I have a boyfriend,” she said aloud, though it was obvious it was for the both of them.

  “Who left you,” he hissed. “Who walked away.”

  “He did it to protect me,” she repeated. “He didn’t want Thayer to be after me anymore, and now that he’s staying in the Underworld the gate won’t open so—”

  “The gate’s still open,” he stopped her.

  She sucked in a breath, meeting the anger burning in his eyes, turning them the shade of blue fire. “What?”

  “Micah choosing to stay down there didn’t fix the gate,” he elaborated. “It’s already come unhinged. A lot like your boyfriend, if you ask me. Micah was never the real problem. Sure, his love was strong enough that it gave him the ability to cross the river, but it isn’t what pulled him towards it in the first place.”

  “What are you talking about?” So Micah staying away from her hadn’t made a difference at all? Then what was the point? She should have talked to Hadrian about this in the first place, should have…

  What could she have done really? He wasn’t lying. Part of the reason Micah had chosen to leave was because he’d wanted to. He’d missed his dad more than he thought he’d miss her for the nine months they’d be apart. Did she really want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with her just as badly?

  This is Micah you’re talking about, she reminded herself inwardly. The boy you planned to spend your life with. The one you’ve known forever, and who knows you better than anyone else in the world.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Hadrian took her hands in his, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Spencer, give me these nine months to see. Let yourself get to know me. Let yourself take a leap.”

  The God of the Underworld was asking her to break up with her boyfriend—who was dead and she couldn’t even see anymore—and try dating him? As if it was so easy. As if she could just give into those swirling darker thoughts. The ones that were just as attracted to him as he claimed to be with her.

  The ones that had her curious.

  “I…” She pushed him away, feeling the world spin around her. Lifting a hand to her head she shook it to try and clear her thoughts. “I need to get some air.”

  “Spencer—”

  “No,” she held up a hand to ward him off when he reached for her, “I just need a minute. Alone.” She turned away and practically ran out of the gym. The whole way she felt his eyes burning holes into the back of her head.

  She passed couples making out against lockers in the dimmed hallways, barely even seeing anything as she went. She shoved the doors open with all her strength, stepping out into the chilled night air and pressing her forehead against the cool stone outer wall of the building.

  She gulped in oxygen like she’d been drowning, and that’s exactly what it had felt like in there, surrounded by all those people. Standing so close to Hadrian.

  He couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t honestly be asking her out. Did gods even do that? Go on dates? Though he hadn’t specifically used the word date…Micah and her were still together, they were just…long-distance. And not speaking.

  It was only going to be for nine excruciating months though and then he’d be back, and he’d be alive. How could Hadrian think even for a second she’d risk screwing things up with Micah by giving them a try? Half the time they couldn’t even stand each other! They were always arguing, and one was always storming off on the other.

  Maybe it was a joke. Maybe he was testing her or something, trying to see how much she truly wanted Micah back. Maybe he’d grown tired of their deal and he was looking for an out clause, a way to go back on it and cut her out of his life once and for all.

  But then…why would he bother saving her? Her death would have ended the deal just as easily. And the second she’d told him about her dad, he’d driven them to campus without hesitation. If he really didn’t care, if all she was was a curiosity, then why would he have done that?

  All of a sudden the things they’d been through over the past few months came flooding back, and she picked them apart, viewing them from a different angle for the first time.

  He’d saved Syd’s life, not to mention her own on many occasions. He’d taken her to the nicer rivers first, patiently explaining the meaning and importance behind each one. He’d taken her to see Cerberus…

  With a gasp she realized why he might have done that. She’d mentioned before that she was afraid of dogs, and he knew that she thought she couldn’t be brave unless Micah was there to guide her. He’d proved her wrong, and afterwards, he hadn’t rubbed that fact in her face.

  Ever since she’d met him, Hadrian had slowly been chipping away at her reserve, bringing out the parts of her old self that she’d loved the most. Even Quinn had said that first day she’d met him that Spencer seemed more alive than ever. She’d felt an actual emotion other than grief and longing.

  She’d faced a malicious spirit, talked back to Death, and walked away from almost dying in a car crash, without falling apart.

  Micah was familiar, sure, but what if that was all she was after? What if she’d been clinging so tightly to him because she’d been too afraid to experience life without him? To discover who she’d be without him?

  And what if this was her one chance to do it? To really find out who she was, and what she was made of?

  She liked Hadrian. Liked the way he smiled and the sound of his laugh. The way he carried himself like nothing and no one could get to him, could tear him down. He was everything she’d wanted to be again those months she’d spent locked in her room with Micah’s ghost. Confidant, vigorous, resilient.

  Scintillating.

  Lively.

  He’d brought her to his special place, even went so far as to tell her that he never brought anyone there. And she’d been too blind to see it.

  Hadrian was right. Every time he’d tried to hint at his true feelings she’d brushed him off, dismissed it as foolish thinking on her part. But all the signs were there. He liked her.

  And she liked him.

  She would always love Micah, but she had nine months to figure out if she was capable of falling for someone else. It was time she found out who she really was, aside from Micah St. James’s girlfriend.

  Being honest with herself finally left a strong feeling of elation within her, and she turned to the door, intent on finding Hadrian and telling him.

  The rest she could figure out later. Right now, all that mattered was that she live her life.

  She had the door pushed open less than an inch when she felt it, the eerie snaky sensation of dread slithering up her back. She only hesitated in the doorway for a second, but it was long enough for whoever was there to grab her.

  She tried to scream, but a rough hand clamped over her mouth, cutting off any and all sounds as the man dragged her away from the school, and deeper into the shadows.

  A second later the world grew hazy, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She managed to blink a few times before the darkness took hold, consuming h
er in mere moments.

  Chapter 30:

  Spencer moaned as reality slowly made its way back to her. Her head felt too heavy on her shoulders, swinging back and forth when she tried to lift it. Finally, she got it up, blinking away the fog that blurred-over her vision.

  She was in a dark rectangular-shaped room, with wood walls and flooring. Over head, a single orange bulb shook, flashing its beam of light around. It took her a moment to realize that it was actually her that was moving, and not the light. She stilled her head, letting out another groan when a sharp pain throbbed between her eyes.

  A candle was burning on a low wooden bench to her right, and straight across there was a closed door. It had been attached wrong; the sides of it off some, so that slivers of pale moonlight spilled through to illuminate the floor in a blue glow.

  With a twisted feeling she realized where she was. Years before she was even born, the original high school in Willowbrooke burned down. Only one building remained, and the new school was built only a hundred yards away from it. The shop classes sometimes used it as a launching place for their handmade rockets, but other than that, the building was usually abandoned.

  Which meant no one would think to look for her here.

  She went to move, and sucked in a breath when the ropes tying her arms behind her back and to the chair dug against her skin. A glance down showed that she was bound similarly at her ankles.

  Her tongue felt too thick in her mouth, and her dress was practically soaked with sweat. Gross.

  What the hell was going on?

  It had to be Thayer. She’d been so stupid to go out there alone, after finding out that Micah’s staying in the Underworld had done nothing to close the gateway. Couldn’t she have stormed off to the crowded bathroom or something?

  Damn it.

  She tested her restraints again, a little gentler this time. There was no way she was going to be able to shake them loose. She was in the process of trying to figure out if the rickety chair she was on would break if she threw herself to the ground, when the sound of approaching footsteps had her instantly stilling.