In My Heart (Sweetbriar Hearts Book 1)

by Nora Everly

  I believed in—well, not much. Life was what you made it to be. I had seen too much, watched too many good men die, to believe in fate. Life was random and unfair. I hoped to someday understand Jed’s optimism. We both turned to look through the screen door when we heard Dylan bounding down the stairs.

  He made it to the doorway, then rushed through to jump onto Jed’s lap. “Papa, you’re here! Yay! I smell donuts.” He scrambled down from Jed’s lap and opened the box. “Oh, sprinkle ones.” Jed laughed as Dylan snatched one, then sat by me on the swing and snuggled into my side. I put my arm around him. I grinned down at his upturned smiling face as donut sprinkles rained down on my leg.

  “There’s my little sunshine,” Jed said and held out his arms for Calla as Lily walked onto the porch. I held the baby monitor up with a confused smile for Lily.

  “I turned it off when I got up. Thank you for letting me sleep.” She rummaged through the donut box with a smile then took a bite of an apple fritter.

  I reached for the box and got my own apple fritter.

  Jed chuckled. “You two and the apple fritters. Some things never change. Not as good as my Diana’s, but they’ll do.” My mom used to make the best apple fritters. A collective hush fell over us as we remembered her.

  “Who’s Diana?” Dylan asked.

  “My daughter. Luke’s mom,” Jed answered.

  “Oh yeah, my other grandma.”

  “She sure would have loved you, Dylan, and you too, little princess,” Jed said.

  “Mommy said she was an angel in heaven. I wonder if she knows my dad Will,” he mused as he ate his donut.

  I leaned back into the swing. So much death, it was impossible to escape the memories. Even happy ones were bittersweet. My mom would never know Dylan or Calla, or even that Lily and I were together.

  Thankfully Jed broke the mood. “That reminds me—Luke, I have something for you. I’ll give it to you when you pick up Rocky tomorrow morning.” I raised my eyebrows, and he shook his head. “I’ve got to head out.” He stood up and handed Calla off to me.

  She gave me big eyes, then patted my cheeks and said, “Ba.”

  Jed called Rocky to him, then said goodbye to everyone and took off in his truck.

  She was so damn cute with those red curls, just like Lily’s. I wiped her chin with her bib, her mouth was like a leaky faucet.

  “She’s cutting a tooth,” Lily said. “That’s why she’s always drooling.”

  I pulled her lip down and saw the tiny white spot poking through her lower gums. Calla put her mouth around my finger and bit down making me laugh.

  “Sure, it’s funny when it’s your finger. Not so funny when I was nursing her earlier,” Lily said, and I grimaced.

  “Naughty baby. Biting is only good when fish do it.”

  Dylan and Lily laughed. I tugged my finger out of Calla’s mouth and sat her on my lap facing out. She waved at Lily and said, “Mama mama.”

  Lily waved back, then covered her eyes to play peek-a-boo.

  Calla giggled and said, “Boo.”

  “Hey, Do you like to fish?” Dylan asked. “My dad Will took me fishing a lot, with Uncle Trevor on his fishing boat.”

  “I like to go fishing. The Sweetbriar River runs through the back of my property. I usually fish there. I’ll take you.”

  “Yes! I have a Lightning McQueen fishing pole. But not today, I’m spending the night at Mark and Mara’s, we’re going to play miniature golf and eat pizza. Uncle Ash has the day off tomorrow.”

  Lily’s eyebrows raised when Dylan mentioned Ash’s day off. I’d given him tomorrow off, paid. We would be having a late night, I gave her a wink, then chuckled when her cheeks turned pink.

  A bird landed on the railing, behind Lily’s shoulder. Calla squealed and reached for it. I had the urge to catch it for her, but it flew away before I could even move to try. I turned her and held her to stand on my legs. I grinned at her smiling baby face as she reached up and tried to get ahold of my beard.

  I looked up to see Lily smiling with an expression I had never seen before. This must be her “mom” look. Her expression was soft as her gaze settled on my face. Then on Dylan tucked tight to my side, eating his donut. Then on Calla dancing on my legs as I held her up. I suddenly remembered my mother watching me with a similar smile on her face. This was a part of Lily I didn’t know anything about, her life as a mother. The fact that she made me remember my own mother with just the look on her face told me she was a good one. I took a deep breath as my heart filled. There were so many things I loved about Lily, and I had just discovered a new one. Regret burned through me, blazing a path right along with the joy that had been sparking up within me all morning.

  Jed said that regret takes the place of action. He told me to set aside the things I could not change to concentrate on what was possible. I smiled back at Lily and watched her eyes warm. I would give her more babies, we’d always talked about having a big family.

  As I closed my eyes, I felt the sun warm on my skin. I inhaled and smelled roses and donuts, Lily’s soft perfume, and baby soap. I let it wash over me for a minute, grounding me. I wished this soft breeze on the air could blow the bad memories away. But some memories were rooted too deep, and a simple breeze couldn’t budge them. I would do what Jed had said, take the good with the bad. He said I deserved good things, and I was finally starting to believe him. But right now, it was easy to believe, as I sat here in the sunlight with my arms full of my family. I locked this memory up tight, to use when I needed it.

  14

  Lily

  I was buzzing. I still hadn’t come down from earlier this morning. My head was spinning, from Luke, to the kids, to what to wear tonight, to what we would do tonight. Would we do it? My stomach dropped and swirled around just at the thought of it. Yikes.

  “Lily, what are you doing here?” Violet shouted as I entered her shop.

  “Sorry I’m late. Did you think I wasn’t coming?” I yelled back as I headed to her office to grab an apron and put my purse away.

  “No, don’t you have a date with Luke tonight?”

  “Yeah, in, like, nine hours. How much time do you think I need to get ready? And watch what you say. I’m about to get offended.”

  Nick and Finn laughed as I headed toward the cash register.

  “Well, we weren’t going to say anything …” Rose snickered, making Finn and Nick laugh harder.

  “We’re going on break, Mom. This is the kind of sister fight we don’t want to see,” Nick said. Finn nodded his agreement as they took off for the patio out front, leaving the customers and the fighting to me and the sister squad.

  Rose hugged me and said, “Lily, I was planning to pick you up and take you for a pedicure.” She pulled back and looked down at my hands and added, “Yeesh, and a manicure. We’re finally together, in the same town, we can hang out just like real sisters. No more FaceTime, no more emails. We’ll do lunch at least once a week, drink wine, get our nails done, pick out date clothes, talk about boys …”

  I laughed and hugged her back. “That sounds wonderful, Rose.” I looked over at Violet, who was grinning at us and shaking her head.

  “Get out of here. Go get beautified with Rose and have fun tonight, Lily. Tomorrow, I’m going to be all big sisterly and demand details. And since I’m letting you both out of here early, you’re gonna spill it all.”

  Rose tossed my purse to me, and I tossed my apron to Violet.

  “Send the boys back in,” she called out.

  “Are you nervous?” Rose whispered after I shut the door of her blue Beetle and fastened the seat belt. She started the car and turned out of the parking lot.

  “A little bit. What if we do it? What if he’s disappointed? I’ve had two kids. I’m different.”

  “Pshhh, shut up. You’re not different. And even if you were, one of those kids is his, so if anything happened to your hootenanny, it’s half his fault anyway.”

  “Hootenanny? You’re a nut. I didn�
��t mean physically, but now that I’m thinking about it …” I shook my head. Focus, Lily, you don’t need more to worry about. “I meant; it’s been years. What if we don’t have chemistry anymore?”

  “Didn’t you text me to tell me you dry humped each other in his office? Dry humping means you have chemistry. If you can get off with pants on, you’ve still got it.”

  I laughed. Dry humping was such a ridiculous phrase.

  “Want to go to Becca’s to get our nails done, or do it at my place?” Rose asked.

  “Becca’s. I miss her. Is she still hung up on Levi?” I asked.

  Rose stopped at a red light, turned to me, and rolled her eyes. “Yes, poor thing. And Levi is as clueless as ever.” Becca’s family owned a spa in town. Becca was the same age as Jude and Levi; they’d all been friends since kindergarten.

  “It’s green, Rose,” I said, and she stuck her tongue out at me before she moved through the quiet intersection. “It’s deserted in town today. Where is everyone?”

  “Work. Not everyone is lucky enough to get summers off like us. Becoming a teacher was the best idea I’ve ever had. Deep inside, I’m just a big kindergartener anyway. Plus, I’ve always wanted to be Ms. Frizzle.”

  I laughed, then I noticed a small yellow car speed through the newly turned green light and switch lanes to head right for us.

  “Shit!” Rose yelled. “He’s about to hit us. Hold on.” Rose hit the gas and swerved to the side of the road, narrowly avoiding an impact. I turned around in my seat to look, I was sure I’d seen that car before. Racking my brain, I tried to remember where I had seen the lemon-yellow old model car. The driver slowed down, then made a clumsy U-turn in the road.

  I gripped the handle above the passenger window and yelled at Rose, “He’s turning around—go, go, go!”

  He bumped us from behind. Rose and I both screamed as her Beetle jolted forward from the impact. Rose sped up and switched lanes to avoid another collision. The yellow car sped up as well and tried to sideswipe us, but Rose was faster and pulled ahead before he could hit us again. I looked nervously behind us as we sped crazily down the road.

  “Oh, hell no. I just bought this car!” Rose shouted as she punched down on the gas, shooting us forward.

  I gripped the handle tighter and tried not to panic. Dad said a clear head in a crisis would prevent—oh my gosh, I didn’t remember what it would prevent, but panicking was bad anyway. I took a deep, shaky breath and looked at Rose. She looked pissed.

  “I’m headed for the police station. Call Dad. Or Cade. Or nine-one-one. Fuck, just get your phone out, Lily, and call for help.”

  I forced my fingers to let go of the handle and unzip my purse. My phone wasn’t there. I jumped in my seat as Rose’s phone rang in the console, with a quick glance down I saw my picture on the screen with “Wonder Twin” spelled out above it. Huh? I picked it up and answered.

  “Missing something?” a deep voice asked. I spun in my seat and saw the driver of the truck had a phone to his ear. He was so close behind us that I could see that it was in a bright pink case just like mine. How did he get my phone? When did I misplace it? I felt a chill run through my body. Had he been near my kids?

  “Who are you? What do you want?” I managed to squeak out.

  “I need the files. It’s probably on a thumb drive. You’re not helping. Look through your stuff, find Will’s files. Consider this a warning.” He threw my phone out the window, slowed down, and made another U-turn, then careened off in the opposite direction, disappearing from our view.

  I let out a trembling breath. Just what in the heck was going on? “Pull over, Rose. Whoever that was, just threw my phone out his window. Let’s go get it.”

  She pulled to the side of the road. Really, where was everyone? We were just lucky we weren’t on the highway. Someone could have gotten hurt. I ran over and picked up my phone. Rose jogged to my side as I swiped the screen. It still worked. Not a scratch on it.

  “Holy shit, it still works,” she said.

  “Dylan likes to use my phone. I got a really good case.”

  Rose took my hand and led me back to her Beetle. “I called Dad. He’ll be here in a minute.”

  “We should have taken my Expedition. He would have just bounced off my back tires when he hit us. Your car is too small, Rose. You need to get a bigger one. He had my phone. How did he get my phone? Why didn’t I notice?” I rambled. I tended to lose my filter and my focus when I was nervous.

  “Chill, Lily. We’re fine for now. Dad’s coming.” She squeezed my hand and patted my head. I was pretty sure nothing scared Rose.

  “My kids. What if he tries to get near them, or hurt them? Rose—”

  She put her hands on my shoulders. “They are at Mom’s house. First, you know all about the alarm Dad installed, and the fences and motion detectors and all that. And if that doesn’t make you feel better, Levi and Jude are there, and Ash and his kids. Plus, Dad said Cade just got there for lunch. Don’t worry, they’re fine. Dad will be here any minute.”

  He pulled up in his police SUV followed by another officer in a squad car before Rose could even finish her sentence. He looked around as he got out. I stupidly held out my phone to him, belatedly realizing that I probably shouldn’t have picked it up. Hopefully, I didn’t screw up any fingerprints or evidence. Dad sidestepped my outstretched arm holding the phone and pulled me close with one arm. His other arm wrapped around Rose, and just like that, I felt a little bit better.

  “You girls okay?” he asked. Rose nodded and pulled away to check out the damage to the back of her car.

  “We are now,” I said. “Someone called us from my phone. I don’t know how or exactly when they got it, except it had to have been when I was at Violet’s because I had it this morning. He wants some file of Will’s, and you know that’s crazy, right? And plus, it’s been over a year since he died. Why now? I don’t know anything about what he investigated or his cases, and I never did. And Trevor hasn’t called me back yet.”

  Dad carefully took the phone and put it in a bag. “You’re moving into the house. Today. No more staying at Gram’s. You can move back there after I figure out what is going on.”

  I nodded. I’m no fool. I was also a great big scaredy-cat. Plus, Dad had guns and an epic alarm system and the town’s entire police force at his disposal. I needed all hands on deck. I needed bodyguards. But what I really needed was someone to talk me down from this edge of panic I was teetering on.

  Rose turned back to Dad, and I felt myself start to slip into a panic mode, where everything was in sharp focus but also strangely muted by fear.

  “Snap out of it, Lily. You’ve got that panicky, crazy look in your eyes. Nothing will happen to you or the kids. Focus on me, on Dad. It’s going to be okay.” Rose hugged me quickly, then headed back to her car.

  “Rose is right, honey. Everything will be fine.” Dad gave me a reassuring smile. “I talked to Trevor. He’s on his way down with the kids. I told him he can stay at your Gram’s house. I don’t like this. There is too much weirdness going on. This just caps it all off and tells me I made the right decision about you moving in with your mom and me.”

  “Trevor? Why didn’t he tell me himself?”

  “We’ll talk about that later,” Dad said.

  “I should cancel my date with Luke. I can’t leave the kids at a time like this.”

  “No, I don’t think that’s necessary. You’ll be safe with Luke and the kids will be safe with us. You’re all covered. Go with Luke; try to get your mind off all this. We have a reason to worry, but I don’t want you to …” He looked away from me for a second, then added, “I’m taking care of it. So is Trevor.” He didn’t want me to lose my mind and freak out is what he didn’t say, he was hoping a date with Luke would distract me.

  I wished I was a stronger person, like Rose. I wished I didn’t overthink and overreact and make everything seem worse than it was. “Thanks, Dad.” I hugged him quickly.

  “Yo
u girls go straight to the house. Cade will drive you to Gram’s to get some of your things.”

  15

  Luke

  I stood on Lily’s parents’ front porch and stared at the doorbell with memories of ringing it at age sixteen blasting through my head. I took a deep breath to try to calm my out of control nerves. I’d been nervous back then too, but with happy anticipation rather than the feeling that one misstep could cause me to lose everything. I blew out a breath and pressed the doorbell.

  Rose answered. “We had an incident today.” I shook off the memories and focused on Rose as she explained. “Your job is to distract Lily and keep her mind off all this crap going on. Don’t let her freak out.”

  I had assumed I was picking her up here because the kids were here. “Is it safe to go out?” I asked.

  “I don’t have to tell you to keep your guard up. From what I’ve seen, it’s always up now.” Rose smiled softly. “A car followed us today, bumped the back of us, and he had her phone. Dad is taking care of it. Ash was supposed to take the kids out, but we’re all going to hang here tonight instead.” She stepped aside to let me in. “Everyone is out back, grilling and swimming. I’m going to head out there.” On her way out she yelled for Lily to come downstairs.

  I stood at the foot of the stairs to wait. When I glanced up, I saw her foot, clad in a strappy black high heel, hit the top of the staircase, followed by a beautiful leg that went up, up, up to reach the bottom of a tight silvery black dress. My eyes trailed up and down her beautiful body, her tiny waist, her curvy hips. Then she bent to adjust the strap on her heel and treated me to a view of the locket I’d given her as it fell from her cleavage. I blinked and took a deep breath. I looked up again to her beautiful face framed by soft red curls that fell in a cascade over one bare shoulder. I smiled at her, and she returned it. She had always been beautiful to me, always. But now, she was breathtaking. I smoothed down my shirt and straightened my tie as she approached.