Golden Glories

by Gerald Lopez

  “I brought beer,” Julio said, as he stood by the table where he placed the beer.

  “We were talking to the boys about the gold water,” Braeden said. “They thought we were talking about golden showers.”

  “Nah, that’s totally different than golden showers,” Bambi said. “Not nearly so warm.”

  “Eww, Mom,” Pete said.

  “Hush now,” Bambi said. “It’s always fun to splash and play in that gold beach water. But usually there’s a priest of some sort around to bless it.”

  “I’m an ordained minister, if it comes to it,” Sister Joe said. “I got ordained to preside over my older brother’s wedding.”

  “Cool,” I said. “You will definitely come in handy.”

  “Oh yeah?” Sister Joe said.

  “Brrr,” Bambi said. “A breeze.”

  “Oh my God!” Bella said, as a cold breeze blew through the pavilion.

  “But it’s still daylight!” Jorri said.

  Someone shrieked. It was Sister Mack, who pointed toward where Alex was sitting.

  “Pirates!” Randall said.

  Alex jumped up from the sofa and ran to Forrest who was closest to him. Sister Mack and Sister Randall hid behind Forrest as well.

  “Alex, what did Shannon suggest in this situation?” I said, while keeping an eye on the ghosts.

  “Ye be after our treasure!” one of the pirate ghosts said in almost a roar.

  The three apparitions were see-through, but still menacing, as they brandished their swords. They grinned, revealing yellow, rotting teeth. One picked a worm out of a space where a tooth had been and flicked it on the ground.

  “What do we do?” Nikki said.

  “That blonde in the corner be a beauty,” another pirate said, while looking at Bambi.

  “Leave my mother alone,” Pete said.

  “And who are you to tell us what to do, ye young whelp?” the third pirate said. “And what be with these nuns?”

  “They ain’t nuns,” the first pirate said. “They got their johnsons hanging out fer the world to see. And they be talkin about us.” He blew, and a strong gust filled the pavilion.

  “Aaa!” Sister Joe said, as one of the pirates grabbed his cock. “Help, he’s got me by the willy! Somebody, help me!”

  Nikki and Jorri grabbed hold of sister Joe’s arms and tried to pull him away from the ghost pirate.

  What do we do?” Braeden said, hiding behind the sofa with Don.

  I looked around, saw the beer, and an idea hit me. We need a distraction.

  “Forget the johnson and take a look at these, boys,” Bambi said and flashed the ghosts her tits.

  I quickly grabbed Sister Joe and pulled him away from the ghosts to me. “Sister Joe, bless the beer as if it were holy water.”

  Bambi jiggled her tits, then screamed as the ghosts headed her way. Don and Braeden threw sofa cushions at them, while Forrest and the others threw ping-pong balls and paddles. But everything just went through the ghosts.

  Sister Joe finished blessing the beer, and I addressed those closest to us. “Grab a beer, shake it, and open it toward the ghosts. Alex, Forrest, Sister Mack, Sister Joe, and I each grabbed a can of beer shook it, ran toward the ghosts, and took aim. When the blessed beer hit the ghosts, they screamed loudly, twirled in place rapidly, then headed out toward the beach. Instinctively, I ran after them to see where they were going. The last thing I heard was Forrest telling everyone to stay put.

  Two of the ghosts disappeared from sight as I ran on the sandy beach, following one ghost toward the water. The remaining ghost hovered over the water, looked at me, and smiled eerily. My adrenaline was pumping now, and I was determined to go after him, when I was suddenly tackled hard to the ground.

  He was on top of me pinning my arms to the ground, and wrapping his heavy leg around mine.

  “Forrest, let me go so I can follow the ghost to the treasure,” I said.

  “Hush and stop struggling.” I hadn’t realized I was struggling to break free. “Layton, love me enough to stay here on this earthly plane.”

  I looked into his eyes and saw something new which drew me in more than ever. He desperately needed and wanted me… and.

  “I love you, Layton Shayne,” Forrest said. “And, dummy, the water turned silver without you noticing. The ghost wanted you in there.”

  “I’m sorry, Forrest, and I love you too.”

  “And for some reason I love the two of you idiots,” Alex said, looking down at us. “Thanks for stopping him, Forrest. He probably would’ve knocked me down without stopping. But you’ve got that muscle mass thing happening, stud.”

  “Thanks, Forrest,” I said.

  “I wouldn’t want to have to tell Chip we lost his new daddy to a ghost,” Forrest said.

  Alex sat down, and the three of us looked at the silver water.

  “It’s eerily beautiful, Alex said. “Too bad I left my camera in the pavilion.”

  “Are you guys OK?” Sister Randy said, surrounded by the other boy nuns.

  “We’re good,” I said. “How’s your johnson, Sister Joe?”

  “It felt a lil chilly for a minute, but Nikki wrapped a warm towel around it and I’m good now,” Sister Joe said.

  “Luckily he didn’t get ghost bite,” I said to Alex and Forrest. “It would’ve been a shame if the world had lost such a fine specimen of a johnson.”

  The others were running their way now, pointing and shouting.

  “Oh shit!” Sister Mack said. “Pray, Sister Joe, pray or we’re gonners!”

  Chapter 18

  Wave Away

  “THERE’S A GIANT wave coming this way!” Sister Randy said.

  “In Jesus name, wave,” Sister Joe said, with his hands raised toward the wave. “I mean water turn… turn… oh what’s the color? Go silver water in Jesus name silver!”

  “No!” we all shouted. “Gold! Gold! Turn gold.”

  “As in Glitter n’ Gold like in the old ‘Jem’ cartoon,” Sister Vaughn said.

  “What?” Sister Joe said, then looked at the rising wave. “Turn gold in Jesus’ name!”

  I watched as the wave grew to over twelve feet in height and wasn’t stopping. There was no escaping it. As it was about to crash down on us, it began to dissipate and turn to golden glitter.

  “Bless the water so we can go in for luck!” Bambi said from behind us.

  “In Jesus’s name, may these waters be a blessing to all who enter them,” Sister Joe said. “Bless us and heal us—and all that good stuff in Jesus’ holy name I pray.”

  “Amen and amen! Bambi said, as she began to peel her clothes off. The residents of the compound were behind her stripping down.

  Forrest stood, and gave me a hand up.

  “Strip down, pretty boy,” Forrest said to Alex.

  When I turned around I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw Bambi and Jorri helping Nikki out of her caftan. Seconds later we were all running to the water. A naked group of folks were heading our way from the right.

  “Pete!” Bambi said. “it’s your daddies and aunties.”

  Two older men ran up to Bambi, hugged her, then turned to Pete.

  “Hi, Son,” one man said.

  “How’s it going, Son?” the other man said, then held hands with Pete, Bambi and a few others. Soon we were all holding hands as we went into the now golden water. In no time, we were splashing one another, laughing and goofing around in water that felt silky and tingly.

  Bambi and her group left to go home, while the others of us were directed to use the Jacuzzi, and warm up while the food was being prepped. The Jacuzzi was behind a fenced off area next to the pavilion. Lounge chairs surrounded the raised platform holding the Jacuzzi.

  “Oh God this feels great,” I said, as I entered the warm Jacuzzi and lay back. Forrest and Alex got in to either side of me. The boy nuns minus Sister Mack entered the Jacuzzi next, followed by Pete. Don and Braeden just sat on the edge and put their feet in the water.


  “”This Jacuzzi is huge!” Sister Vaughn said.

  “We didn’t want anyone to feel left out when we picked it,” Braeden said. “Oh my God, I’d forgotten how good it felt to be in those golden waters.”

  “It did feel pretty awesome,” Sister Randy said. “I’m just glad the waters were gold and not silver.”

  I looked across at Sister Joe, who had his head held down.

  “Man, did I screw up big time,” Sister Joe said. “And just when I thought I was doing so well.”

  “I thought you did good,” Alex said. “These situations can be pretty scary.”

  “But I prayed for the water to turn silver instead of gold,” Sister Joe said. “What a dummy I am.”

  “Hey, you managed to keep your cool when that pirate grabbed hold of your dick,” I said. “And you got the beer blessed.”

  “There is that,” Sister Randy said. “I don’t know if I could think straight with a ghost pirate yanking on my willy.”

  “You guys are just trying to be nice now,” Sister Joe said.

  Forrest’s phone rang, and he grabbed it off the deck behind him and answered it.

  “Hi, buddy, are you having fun?” Forrest said. … “Cool, I love hot dogs and hamburgers. … Ice cream sundaes too—wow! … You weren’t scared were you? … Miss Lucy, Charity, and Sassy protected you? Good for them. … You even got to go swimming in the gold water with Buck and ride on his unicorn float. … But you had to keep your clothes on—yeah that’s a good thing.… They were right. Just because all the other people from nearby boats were naked didn’t mean you guys should be. … Alright, be good and listen to Charity. Love you. Bye-bye.” He ended the call and put the phone behind him.

  “Oh wow, you’re a real dad too, huh?” Sister Joe said. “I forgot you mentioned having a kid. You guys really are the coolest.”

  “So, Chipper’s getting to eat hot dogs and hamburgers,” I said. “Lucky guy. I could stand something to eat myself.”

  “Did someone mention food?” Sister Mack said, as he entered the area followed by Randall. Both had plates holding skewers of shrimp and vegetables.

  “I know you men have to be hungry after all the excitement,” Randall said, as he and Sister Mack passed the plates around. “By the time you finish those the rest of the food will be ready to go.”

  “Those ghosts didn’t really seem all that threatening to me,” Forrest said. “Well, except for when they grabbed Sister Joe’s equipment. Don’t get me wrong, they were scary but… well I expected more I suppose.”

  “Oh, honey,” Randall said. “Don’t be fooled. Those ghost pirates always start off slow like that, then escalate.”

  “Randall’s right,” Braeden said, after he finished eating a shrimp. “Personally, I’ve always found the nuns’ and priests’ ghosts more intimidating.”

  “They can all kiss my ass,” Don said, and finished off the food on his skewer. “The water made me feel stronger and I can even think better. But, I’m ready to dry off and get some real food.”

  “OK,” Braeden said, then stood. “Pete, stay a while we’ll be OK.”

  “Of course we will be,” Don said. “Why wouldn’t we? Well, unless those damned ghosts come back to bother us. They ain’t grabbing my weenie, I’ll tell you that right now.” He managed to get up on his own, and turned to Sister Joe. “Good job, preacher boy, I’m feeling great after that dip in the water. “Next time, though, be sure to get the color right. It’s gold.”

  “I’m sure he’ll remember that next time, Don,” Braeden said.

  “I won’t forget, believe me,” Sister Joe said, as Braeden and Don were leaving with Randall.

  Sister Mack joined the others in the Jacuzzi.

  “The shrimp came out good, bro,” Sister Randy said to Sister Mack.

  “Thanks, bro,” Sister Mack said. “The wild times have started already, and it’s still daylight outside. Randall told me that the ghosts seem to be doing their thing earlier than usual this year. It’s not even one in the afternoon yet. The guys here are kind of nervous about how bad things are gonna get now that ghosts have already begun appearing.”

  “I can’t think of all that on an empty stomach,” Sister Randy said. “That shrimp skewer just got my juices flowing.”

  “Amen to that,” I said.

  “We just gotta think on other things besides food and ghosts for now,” Sister Vaughn said.

  “Well, you all managed to keep your nun gear on,” Forrest said. “We probably wouldn’t even recognize you without it on.”

  “I’d recognize Sister Joe’s great ass anywhere—hat or no hat on his head,” I said, then looked at Alex.

  “What?” Alex said. “I’m not gonna argue with you. He does have a perfect ass just like Forrest does.”

  “Hell, yeah,” Sister Joe said. “My God I could have Forrest’s ass for lunch and Layton’s for dessert. Alex, you’re so pretty I may just have to sit and look at you for a while.”

  “Thanks, I think,” Alex said, then chuckled.

  “Oh my God I can’t believe I just said that,” Sister Joe said.

  “It’s just your nerves,” I said.

  “Combined with his chronic horniness,” Sister Mack said.

  “There is that,” I said, and chuckled.

  “Pete,” Sister Vaughn said. “You sure do have a lot of family, and they must live right next door.

  “I do have a lot of family,” Pete said. “There’s my mom Bambi, and my two dads, a handful of aunts and uncles, cousins, cats, dogs, birds, a turtle—you name it.”

  “There’s got to be an interesting story there somewhere,” Sister Vaughn said. “And anything to keep from hearing about people being horny will be welcome right now.”

  “Do you really want to hear about my family?” Pete said.

  “Sure,” Sister Vaughn said.

  “Why not?” Sister Randy said.

  “Your family sort of reminds me of my new-ish family,” I said. “So, tell your tale if it’s interesting, and I have a feeling it will be.”

  “It’s interesting, crazy, and maybe just a tiny bit frightening,” Pete said. “Here goes.”

  Chapter 19

  Colorful Local History

  “MY FAMILY HAS lived in Shiloh Key for many, many years,” Pete said. “They were always known for being unusual.”

  “How so?” sister Vaughn said.

  “Well my great-grandmother and her two sisters were known as being virgin sluts,” Pete said.

  “Those aren’t exactly two words that go together, dude,” Sister Mack said.

  “Apparently, they never wore bras and liked sheer, lightweight dresses,” Pete said. “I suppose they enjoyed putting on a show. But either one of their uncles, or their dad was always with them to make sure no hanky-panky occurred.”

  “Sounds like they were teases,” Sister Mack said.

  “It was all part of their religion that involved harnessing ‘lustful’ energy and turning it into a supernatural blue light,” Pete said. “My grandmother turned away from the religion, and her relatives that were still in it were driven out of town. After that, my grandma sort of started a hippie-type commune with free love, and lots of sex between multiple partners. Grandma and Grandpa moved down south with my aunt and uncle, and my mom took over the house.”

  “Blue light energy, hippies,” Sister Randy said. “What a life.”

  “You mentioned having more than one dad,” Forrest said.

  “Yeah,” Pete said. “My mom—Bambi—fell for two guys. They had a ceremony of sorts, and for as long as I’ve been around, they’ve been around. I have multiple aunts and uncles. Some blood-related, most not. The whole free-love thing meant a lot of folks were welcome in our house.”

  I was getting hot, so I got out of the water and sat on the deck. Sister Joe and Alex did the same.

  “And having all those people going in and out of your home didn’t affect you any?” Forrest said.

  “Naw,” Pete said. “Th
ey didn’t exactly have their orgies or whatever in front of me. I have sisters too, who are away at school. Kids were loved, and very much protected in our commune.”

  “It’s hot in here,” Sister Vaughn said. “Why don’t we continue this while sitting in the lounge chairs?”

  Sister Mack stayed in the Jacuzzi but the rest of us moved to the chairs and loungers.

  “Forrest, I know why you’re asking these questions,” Pete said. “How old is your son again?”

  “Five going on six,” Forrest said. “He’s sweet and intelligent, and quick for his age. Right away he knew and understood that our family was growing and he’d gained two new daddies.”

  “I understood a lot when I was young, and I really liked having a large family who was there for me,” Pete said. “My dads helped me pay for nursing school, and one of our uncles, who lives in North Carolina, is paying for my sisters’ school just to be nice. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of sex that went on in my family home, but the people were kind and loving without being perverted or obscene.”

  “That’s good to know,” Forrest said.

  “Your extended family is a fairly new one, isn’t it?” Pete said.

  “Oh yeah,” I said.

  Everyone laughed.

  “Did I miss the joke? Nikki said, as she walked in wearing her caftan again. Anyway, the food is ready.”

  “We just got comfortable,” Pete said.

  “Have it your way,” Nikki said. “But the food will be getting cold while you’re here. Toodles.”

  Nikki hadn’t been gone long when a sudden cool breeze filled the area.

  “Pirates!” Sister Randy said. “Ghosts, ghost pirates!”

  Everyone jumped from their chairs and clutched their privates protectively. Sister Mack got out of the Jacuzzi, and headed our way hiding his privates in his hands. Loud laughter could be heard, then Jorri walked in wearing his dress and rubber boots again, and holding two portable, battery operated fans. He laughed again then spoke.