The male fox shifter looked like he was going to say something, but Regina cut him off. “You get to live your life being a total asshole. You have for what? Twenty-five years? No one has ever tried to take anything from you, not your freedom or your body. Certainly not your entire future. How about you grow a heart and let a girl go? Sound good?”
Regina pulled back and let him gasp for air. While he struggled to breathe, she straightened her dress and hair. The elevator doors opened to a very confused Oscar and Zara. The suitcases under Oscar’s arms clattered to the floor when he saw the male fox shifter. But, first, his eyes fell on Regina, as if it was the fox shifter’s proximity to her that set off the beast crouched inside him.
She stepped between them, her hands on Oscar’s chest. The bear swirled through his eyes, gold and brown at war for a moment. “It’s okay. He was just coming to say goodbye to Zara. Isn’t that right?”
The male fox shifter, whose name she didn’t even want to learn at this point, looked uncomfortable in Oscar’s presence. Maybe he’d heard the rumors about Oscar. Maybe Oscar’s presence was just as terrifying as the rumors.
“Goodbye,” he spat out before darting toward the stairs.
Oscar and Zara watched him run. The smile that took over Zara’s moody face was more than worth it. Oscar glanced at Regina, who only flashed a wide smile. The decision she’d made in the elevator filled her with pride. She could take control of her own life.
Regina wouldn’t have to marry some idiot of a fox shifter. She could refuse. Most importantly, she could fight back. Her fox and her heart used the revelation to direct her toward Oscar. Both screamed for him, pushed her to run into his arms, and finally claim him as theirs. Instead, Regina restrained herself.
She’d made a small step, but not marrying a fox did not mean being able to love Oscar the way her body and soul begged her to do. She’d given herself a life of loneliness. It was a small victory, that much was obvious.
“Let’s get this shit show on the road,” Regina announced as she bent to retrieve a couple of the fallen suitcases.
The ride back toward Monterey was quiet. Oscar’s eyes left the road to send questioning glances in Regina’s direction, digging for answers about what happened in the elevator. She blatantly looked away, choosing instead to look at Zara. The girl had thick, black hair that fell to her shoulders, and bright silver eyes she’d lined with black kohl. There was a cloud hanging over the girl’s head, a permanent gloom that surrounded her. In time, it might disperse, but until then it filled the car.
Regina wanted to hate Oscar, or at least not love him the way she feared she did. If she pushed him away and guarded her heart, she might not have to put it back together again. The creature inside her, a small beast that grew a loud voice in Oscar’s presence, howled for him. She didn’t know how to guard her heart against her beast’s desire. It was so deeply rooted inside her that she felt its cries in her very bones.
Finally, she closed her eyes and let her head fall against the headrest. She told herself no, over and over again, but memories of their lovemaking appeared in the darkness behind her eyelids. She couldn’t escape it.
Chapter Fourteen
Seeing Regina in the elevator with the male fox shifter made the world tilt sideways for Oscar. For a moment, the world had been painted red. His bear slammed into him, nearly thrusting him into the elevator. He knew if he had leapt forward like the bear wanted, he would have wrapped his hands around the man’s throat and never stopped.
But, the look on Regina’s face had halted him. When he glanced back at the male fox shifter, he noticed the man was hacking and coughing, almost bent over as he struggled to breathe. Oscar’s heart swelled. The woman he loved was not only a survivor, but a warrior. The elevator had given her nowhere to run, and so she’d fought back.
The bear was pleased. It admired their mate. Fate would not grab her and steal his clever fox from him. When she said foxes knew how to survive, he hadn’t considered what that might mean. Now, his fears of losing another woman he loved began to fade.
He wanted to reach for her when she stalked out of that elevator, her head held high, but she’d bent and reached for the fallen suitcases before he could say anything. Even the male fox shifter had scrambled out of his presence before Oscar could do anything.
In the moment, he’d glanced back at Zara and raised a brow, as if to say: that is your role model. The young shifter woman had been paying attention. He watched as Zara’s body posture slowly changed to mimic Regina’s. The teenager filled him with pride, too.
In a matter of days, Oscar had ended up with two foxes in his life. The moment they returned home, both had left him. They retreated to Regina’s home, where Regina could show Zara how to live as a fox shifter in a pack. In the span of minutes, Oscar had lost everything his world had begun to revolve around.
It was strange, knowing that his whole life could change so quickly. It’d happened twice before. Once when he’d been attacked and changed into the shifter he was today. Again, when he’d lost his ex in a car accident. Somehow, it never got easier.
This time, he wouldn’t let it destroy him. Oscar was ready to fight back, to fight for the love of his life and the family they could make. It was a strange family, an Alpha bear with two runaway foxes, but he already loved them both so deeply that nothing else mattered.
Alone, Oscar picked up his phone. He’d made a promise, both to Regina and Zara, that he would do better. This Pack wasn’t what it could be and that was on him. For the longest time, they’d done their best to keep it together. They’d done it while he’d lived in a fugue state. He’d been present, but not enough to connect with anyone.
For the longest time, he’d blamed the death of a woman he’d thought to be his mate. He’d let himself live in grief, let himself become closed off to emotion, but that time had come to an end. Regina had torn him open and revealed everything he’d done wrong. It was time to fix his mistakes.
He called each member of his Pack, one by one, forgetting along the way that Monica had left. When she answered the phone, he remembered that she was now Nikolai’s mate. About to apologize for bothering her, he paused.
“Would you like to come to an event at my place?”
Monica laughed. “The pack lines are getting pretty blurry as of late. I’m sure Nikolai won’t have a problem with me coming, but I’ll just double check.” She hollered into the distance, her mouth away from the phone. Oscar heard the faint response, Nikolai shouting back at her. He suspected that was how they communicated, shouting at one another until neither could fight against the magnetic pull.
Oscar now knew how it felt to be mated to someone, knew the irresistible lure that drew a man toward his mate. The sun shone upon Regina alone. He wanted to bask in her gentle kindness, in the heat of her sparking anger, and watch pleasure flood her cheeks over and over again.
Monica told him she’d see him there and that she remembered the address. “What did you do to Regina, by the way? I haven’t seen much of her after your road trip. If you hurt one of my friends and packmates, I’m going to have to drop a cherry bomb in your toilet.”
“It’s a bit complicated…”
“Cherry. Bomb.”
“Monica, no. I can’t afford more renovations. The bay window cost enough to replace.”
“Well, I know from firsthand experience that you can’t buy a new heart. Just promise me you’re working on making amends, okay?”
“That’s what the next phone call is about. Actually, now that I know Nikolai is there, can you hand him your phone?”
“I’d rather not, considering how often he breaks things, but if it’s for Regina, I’ll risk it.”
Oscar got what he needed from Nikolai, who was more than happy to help. The network Nikolai had created among his pack was the kind of thing Oscar needed to strive toward. He cared about more than just his pack’s physical safety. He cared about their happiness, too.
Oscar had a lot
of work to do if he was going to make things right.
The next phone call was a bit awkward. He let it ring and ring, worried that she might not pick up. His heart thumped nervously. What if this didn’t go the way he planned? What if she flat out said no? He couldn’t let her say no. The beast inside him couldn’t handle it.
Yet, it sat patiently. For Regina, it would do anything.
Apparently, that included behaving. It was a miracle he’d never thought possible. The beast’s rage didn’t make him have to reach for silver. Instead, the creature seemed to finally be in agreement with him. Instead of playing a game of tug-of-war, their mission was one in the same.
He needed to find a way to tell Regina how he felt.
The phone rang, filling him with more apprehension than he’d ever felt before. Even more than when he’d challenged the original Alpha of the Santa Cruz Pack.
***
Regina had been home for a few days, sinking back into her normal routine. Work devoured nine hours of each day before she went home, turned on her DVD player, and let the rest of the day slide by. While she watched old, black and white films, she didn’t have to think about the things that had happened or the decisions she’d made.
For a short while, her life was her own. Well, hers and Zara’s as the young fox shifter navigated life in the background. Regina could pretend that no one would call and take her life away. She could look forward to discovering new books, lose herself in romance novels and movies, and hoard the jar of spiced cookie butter in the cabinet all to herself.
When her phone rang, the sound cutting through the bubble she’d placed around herself, the air left her lungs. It was a slap in the face. Regina could convince herself that she would marry no man, but she would have to tell her mother eventually.
It was a conversation she wasn’t looking forward to.
“Have you found a suitable fox yet?” her mother pressed over the phone. They were in Florida now, she’d informed her daughter. “I met a few here that would give you pretty little kits. I can’t say they’d make you happy, but the children are worth it.”
Regina’s stomach tightened. “I’m too busy with work.”
It was a lie, but her mother couldn’t tell. She already believed Regina worked too hard. Whenever her mother visited, she would admonish her daughter for putting all her time into the library and not into finding a mate. How else would she get a litter of grand-babies?
“Mom, I’m not…” She wanted to say she wasn’t interested in finding a mate, but that would have been a lie.
“You’re not what? We both know the answer to that isn’t straight. Even if you like women, I know you were boinking that Alpha of yours for a while.”
Regina’s laugh was hollow. “Mom, I don’t want to get married.”
She waited, letting the silence drag on. Her mother was going to yell at her, Regina knew it. The woman was going to explode. Regina was just grateful there was an entire country and a phone line between them. After her run-in with Zara’s ex-fiancé in the elevator, Regina knew she wanted nothing to do with male fox shifters. Even if that meant living the rest of her life alone.
“Oh, you say that now. Just give it time. I have a wonderful man in mind. He wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I think he’ll do right by you and make you happy. We don’t always think about happiness in our circles, but maybe we should.”
Regina’s stomach turned. She leaned forward, resting her head against the cold surface of her counter. “Mom. I don’t want to marry a fox shifter.”
“You really don’t know your mother all that well if you think I’m going to force a fox on you. Do you think I didn’t learn anything from your father? Of course, it would be nice to have little kits running around, but not at the cost of your happiness. Half the fox shifter boys have been babied by their mothers, and it’s turned them into monsters.”
Regina’s laugh had feeling this time. It was bitter, accepting the truth her mother had laid out. Now, she wondered what her mother was trying to insinuate. The woman couldn’t just come out and say what she was thinking, of course. She had to beat around the bush until Regina was bruised and confused.
“I heard you got to know that Alpha from Santa Cruz,” her mother continued, as if the subject the conversation of marriage was over already. Regina wanted to scream and throw the phone against the wall, but she kept it pressed to her ear, her anger toward her mother carefully contained. “Is he really the monster everyone makes him out to be?”
“He’s…a work in process. Not that there’s anything wrong with him. He was good…to me.” Regina’s face warmed when she realized she almost let it slip that he was good in bed. She couldn’t believe she’d almost told her mother that.
“Well, I got a call last night.” Her mother paused, as if for effect. Or in the hopes that she’d pull more information out of Regina. When she got no answer, she went on. “It seemed that you left a lasting impression on him because he asked for your hand.”
Oh, no. Regina’s stomach sank. Her eyes burned with tears. She blinked them back, trying to guard her heart. Of course, her mother said no. It wasn’t right. Even if her mother admitted she wouldn’t force a fox shifter on Regina, she hadn’t opened any other options.
“I told him that if he can wrangle your permission, then he was free to go ahead with it.”
Regina shot up. “Wait. What?”
“Oh, daughter of mine. That man loves you. If he loves you anywhere near as much as my husband loves me, then there’s a chance he could be your mate. Who am I to say to no a bond forged by the universe?”
“But he’s not fox. I thought fox shifters didn’t mate outside the community.”
“I guess we were all wrong. Promise me you’ll give Oscar a chance. Oh, and don’t tell him you’ve slept with Nikolai. Men don’t like knowing who their mate has been with.”
“Mom!”
“What? I’m just trying to offer advice.”
Regina hung up. Her mind spun, and her heart thumped. Distantly, she heard a door slam and footsteps echo through the house. When the scent of fox reached her nose, her guard dropped. Zara marched through the kitchen, seemingly ignoring the small meltdown Regina was having in her corner.
Her mother had given Oscar permission to ask Regina to marry him. Her mother had agreed. It still surprised her, a shock of cold running down her spine every time she thought about it. Suddenly, the future was blown open. The life of loneliness she’d accepted was no longer the only option.
Her brain was still catching up, every thought punctuated by Zara’s slamming of cabinets and drawers. The fox shifter teenager had been given a new life, a fresh start at a future that wasn’t laid out for her. Now, Regina had the same door thrown open for her. It was different, in many ways. While Zara was free to live a life without anyone, Regina was now free to live her life with the shifter she’d chosen.
And her heart had chosen.
Oscar was her mate.
She couldn’t believe it. No, she didn’t want to believe it. Her chest tightened as she curled in on herself. Now that she was home, behind her own closed door, she could work through the mess that her mind had been. Picking the events of the past few days apart she could see how everything pointed toward Oscar being her mate.
So, her mother had been wrong after all. A fox shifter could mate someone other than another fox shifter. It was possible. Regina thought of Oscar’s teasing hands and his calming presence. Her heart swelled, and her fox leapt with joy.
“What’s your problem?” Zara snapped.
Regina invited Zara into her home because it had to have been a better option than staying with Oscar, a guy who wouldn’t understand the things Zara was going through. Yet, Regina was close to regretting her decision. The fox shifter was still a brooding mess of teenage hormones that Regina didn’t remember having.
Zara was filled with so much snark that Regina almost believed the teenager’s tongue was forked. The past day with
her had been exhausting, to say the least. She hadn’t wanted anything to do with Regina’s movies or Regina’s collection of books. All the girl wanted to do was scroll through social media alone.
“I realized something that is kind of good, but also kind of sucks.”
“We’re foxes. Everything sucks.”
Regina sighed. She wished she could say she remembered being that age and thinking the whole world sucked, but in that moment, she was tempted to agree with Zara.
“So, what sucks about today?” Zara dropped herself into a chair across from Regina, the container of cookie butter in one hand and a spoon in the other. “Why is it different from any other day?”
“I think…” Regina hesitated. Should she tell the girl? Then, Zara handed Regina another spoon and offered the container of cookie butter. Regina took a hefty spoonful and slowly licked it off while she collected herself. “I don’t think. I know Oscar is my mate.”
Zara’s brows shot toward the ceiling. “Wait! We can mate outside the community?”
“It seems so. The community is a crock of lies. Do you think it’s a cult?”
Zara laughed, or what could be construed as a laugh from the goth teen. Regina might have qualified it as a snort, too.
“What’s so wrong with Oscar?” Zara asked.
Regina started to unravel her concerns about the mate fate had given her. He was too far removed from his own pack, letting them lead and care for themselves rather than helping them. He acted more like a collector than an Alpha. Regina wasn’t sure she wanted to fall in love with that kind of man. Her heart couldn’t handle it if he did the same to her.
“I highly doubt he’d do anything like that to you. I saw how he looked at you. I’ve never seen that kind of look on anyone before.” Zara sucked the cookie butter off her spoon before speaking again. “Besides, I don’t think you realize how much you’ve changed him.”
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