The Cowgirl's Sacrifice

by Tina Radcliffe

  “You forced the man into early retirement, as I recall. After he denounced the act of a hooligan from the pulpit.” Mitch grinned.

  “Oh, that’s not true. He was well overdue for retirement.”

  Both Tucker and Reece chuckled.

  “We should have had this talk long ago,” Mitch said. “I’ll be the first to admit that there was no way I was emotionally ready to deal with the past until I started seeing a counselor.” He paused. “I think we should focus on the fact that we’re building something new here in Rebel. A new heritage for our families. For ourselves.”

  “I agree.” Reece looked at his watch. “Though I’m running out of time at the moment. I promised Claire I’d give her some time off and watch the kids.”

  “A final thought before we leave,” Mitch said. “I’ve been praying about something for a while. When I chatted with Kate a few weeks ago, she mentioned that Mom was accepted into nursing school and couldn’t attend because she was pregnant with me.”

  “Mom wanted to go into the medical field?” Tucker perked up.

  Mitch nodded. “Yeah. Since she’s the real hero of our story, I thought we could honor her. What about a nursing scholarship in her name at OSU?” He looked at Tucker. “You’re teaching there. I’m guessing you could help us with that.”

  “I’m one hundred percent on board,” Tucker said with a grin.

  “Mitch, that’s a wonderful idea,” Kate added. “I’ve had another thought, as well. Actually, it was Jess’s idea.”

  “Oh?” Mitch nodded for her to proceed.

  “Have you thought about a youth rodeo in the summer? Maybe to honor Levi?”

  “I like it. I like it a lot,” Mitch said. “Of course, you’d have to stick around to make that happen, and you’d have to be willing to manage the rodeo but not participate.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind as I pray about the future,” Kate said.

  “Speaking of prayer,” Reece said. “We need to start praying collectively for you and Susan McNally.” He stood and pushed in his chair.

  “Good plan,” Mitch said.

  Tucker looked pointedly at Kate. “We’ll want plenty of heads-up so we can be at the hospital.”

  “Absolutely,” Kate said.

  “Seems fitting that we end this therapy session with a group prayer,” Mitch said with a wink.

  Kate nodded. “Yes,” she said softly.

  Standing, each took the hand of the sibling next to them and then bowed their heads.

  “Tucker, you pray,” Mitch said.

  “Lord, I thank You for the blessings You’ve given the Rainbolt family these many years. You have guided us each day, and I ask You to continue to do that. Bless Rebel Ranch and show us how we can serve Your Kingdom. Protect and keep Kate and Susan McNally as they prepare for surgery. Direct Kate’s step where You lead her. Take care of our sister, Lord. We love her so much. Amen.”

  Kate hugged each of her brothers, grateful for the unconditional love they gave so freely. She’d taken them for granted for far too long. Now all she had to do was figure out if she had the courage to give up the life she’d built for herself over the last ten years and start over at Rebel Ranch. She didn’t know the answer to that question yet.

  * * *

  “Uncle Jess! Over here!”

  Jess grinned at the sight of Olive standing in the circular pen next to a pretty paint, with Kate at her side.

  “Nice helmet you’ve got there, kiddo,” he called.

  “Thanks, Uncle Jess. Miss Kate bought it for me.” She lifted her feet one at a time, kicking at the red Oklahoma dirt. “Look at this, Momma bought me new boots too.”

  “You’re a real rider now,” he said. “How are you feeling? A little nervous?”

  “I was last week,” Olive admitted. She fingered the strap of her helmet and gave a little shrug of her thin shoulders. “But now I’m friends with Rosie. That’s my horse. I’m so excited.”

  Jess couldn’t help but smile again. Olive had spoken more words in the last few minutes than she usually did in an entire afternoon.

  “Good for you,” he said. He turned to Kate. “Has she learned to groom and tack up, yet?”

  “Yes, sir,” Kate said. “She and I did that together last Saturday and today.”

  Olive beamed. “It was fun.”

  Kate stood with a hand on the reins as she looked at Olive proudly. “Let’s review what we discussed last week.”

  “Move real quiet and real slow.”

  “Right,” Kate said. “Now we can prepare to ride.”

  Jess pulled the brim of his hat down against the June sun as he watched Kate guide Olive to double-check the cinch and stirrups. Then she helped Olive into the saddle.

  His pride swelled when his niece sat tall on the paint. Pulling out his phone, he took a few pictures for Nicole and his mother.

  “Remember,” Kate said, “the reins are like the steering wheel and brakes, and your legs are the gas pedal. We’re going to work on your driver’s license this week.”

  Olive giggled as she sat in the saddle. “My driver’s license.”

  Jess loped his arms over the fence to watch Olive and Rosie moving around the pen with Kate gently offering instruction. There was a slight breeze, and Kate’s dark ponytail, tipped in purple, swayed as she walked alongside Olive.

  It was hard to believe he was here on Rebel Ranch, with Kate teaching his niece how to ride. There was no way his happiness wouldn’t be reflected on his face. His heart swelled with joy at the sight, and he didn’t care who saw. Moments like this were something to tuck away for a lonely day.

  “Is that your family?”

  He turned at the voice, befuddled by the question. A middle-aged woman stood next to him at the fence, smiling. A ranch guest, no doubt.

  “Ma’am?” Jess asked.

  “I was saying that your wife and daughter are lovely,” she continued. “How blessed you are.”

  The words tickled him, and he tipped his hat and nodded. “Blessed is what I am. Yes, ma’am.”

  Kate and Olive walked right past Jess and the woman as they circled the pen. Kate raised her brows, indicating that she had obviously overheard the conversation. Good. Maybe that might get her thinking about all the reasons why she should stay in Rebel.

  “Is this where you sign up for lessons?” the woman continued. “I’ve heard some very good things about the guest riding program here.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Kate Rainbolt and her staff are responsible for the good things you’ve heard.” He pointed to the guest stable. “There’s someone right at the entrance who will get you all set up.”

  “Thank you, young man.”

  He turned back to the pen in time to see Kate wave her assistant over. “Olive, Joy is going to help you remove your tack and groom Rosie while I talk to your uncle Jess, okay?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  Kate nodded to Joy, who led Olive out of the pen.

  “Is she going to be okay with Joy? I mean, I thought Olive only wanted you,” Jess said.

  “She doesn’t even know I’m here anymore. It’s all about the horse.”

  “Oh, she knows you’re here. You’re the one who made this happen. She’ll never forget. This is monumental. And Rosie is her first love. You never forget your first love.” His gaze was focused on the horse as he said the words, though he couldn’t deny it was the mango-scented woman next to him who’d inspired them.

  She eyed him. “You’re waxing poetic today. Have you been hanging around Willard?”

  “I’m serious. Don’t you remember your first horse?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do. Mitch scraped together money so I could take lessons. That pony was named Pinto.” She grinned, and her face lit up. “I loved that horse.”

  “There you go.”

 
“So, Jess, why did you let that woman think that we’re a family?” Kate looked at him.

  “It made her happy, and she’s a guest.” He shrugged. “What can it hurt? Besides, we are family. We’re all part of the Rebel Ranch family.”

  A bemused smile touched Kate’s lips as he said the words.

  “You know,” he continued. “Olive is ten years old. Ever think that if you and I had ended up together, we might have had a kid about her age?”

  Kate’s blue eyes flew open, wide and panicked. “I—I...”

  Her stunned expression gave him pause, but this time he wasn’t sorry that what he’d been thinking had ended up on his lips. “Is that so shocking to consider?” he asked.

  “No. That’s not it. Or maybe it is. I don’t know what to say to that, Jess.”

  “Nothing to say.” Her response said it all. Apparently, he was the only one who took an occasional what-if stroll. And that was okay. Jess tucked his hands in his pockets. He was a patient man, and after ten years, what was one more day? He was starting to believe that Kate’s return wasn’t simply providence. Lately, as he considered the events of the last few months, he’d begun to believe that everything was working toward a purpose. So, yeah, he could wait it out and see what the good Lord had in mind.

  “Now what are you thinking about?” she asked.

  “Only good thoughts.” He smiled. “When’s your next session with Olive?”

  “We’ve left it open. I’m heading out tomorrow to spend some time at a little rodeo north of Oklahoma City with Franny.”

  “Wait. You’re leaving?” Her words whooshed the air from him, and he flinched as though he’d been punched in the gut. “When were you going to tell me?”

  “I was going to let you know today. It’s only for a week. I’d like to see if working as her assistant is something I want to do. I’ve also a few other offers to check out.”

  And just like that, all the maybes he’d started to hang his tomorrows on vanished. She was leaving again. “I thought you were done with rodeo?” he asked.

  “I know that the arena isn’t an option any longer. But rodeo has been my life for ten years. I’ve developed relationships, connections. I’m not sure I’m ready to walk away from that.”

  She paused. “You know, maybe it’s time for you to reevaluate your own future, Jess. Your mother will be in a much better place health-wise after this surgery. You may be heading back to Montana.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Kate. I’m staying in Rebel. I finally figured out that I want to be where my family is. Rebel is where I belong.” Now all he had to do was convince her that it was where she belonged.

  “That’s great,” she said with a gentle smile. “Perhaps you could extend me the same courtesy. I need a little space. I’ve been in a holding pattern since February, waiting for my body to heal, for my balance issues to subside. But I haven’t stopped to take time to figure out what’s next for me.”

  “A little space?” Like ten years hadn’t been enough?

  “Yes.”

  “Am I missing the signals here?” he asked softly. “Isn’t there a little bit of you-and-me mixed into all this? Am I jumping the gun here, Kate? Is there even an us?”

  She glanced away, as if hesitant to let him see what she was thinking. “I hope so, but I don’t want to presume.”

  Jess placed his hand over hers where it rested on the roughly hewn wood. “It’s not presumptuous. I’ve tried to keep myself from caring for you, Kate. It’s not working.”

  “Oh, Jess,” she murmured. Pain touched the blue eyes as she looked at him. “That only tells me how much you don’t trust me. You believe that I’d purposely hurt you.”

  She was right. For the last ten years, he’d had a standing policy of protecting himself from being gutted again, which had left him on the outside looking in when it came to relationships.

  He met her gaze and forced himself to ask the question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. “So what’s the future hold for us?”

  She slipped her hand from beneath his and raised her palm in an I-don’t-know gesture. “I keep saying the same thing, but you aren’t listening. I don’t know if Rebel Ranch is my future.”

  “Okay, forget me. What about my mom? What about the transplant?”

  “I’ll be back in time for the surgery.” Kate stared at him for a long moment. “Do you really think I’d let your mother down?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Sure you did. That’s exactly what you’re thinking.” She released a breath of frustration. “Every time I think you believe in me, you prove me wrong.”

  “You have to admit that you do have a track record of leaving.”

  “Leaving isn’t the same as walking away. I left. My father walked away.” She stiffened and crossed her arms. “For the record, I left once. I had a plan, and I followed my plan.”

  He nodded slowly, wanting desperately to understand. “Kate, if something happens while you’re on the road or with Franny... The surgery...”

  “It was my decision to donate, and I’ve jumped through quite a few hoops to do it, and I will follow through. I love your mom, and I’d never hurt her. You might want to consider getting your boots out of your mouth before you annoy me any further.”

  “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.” How could he tell her that his greatest fear was losing her or his mother? He was afraid and loathe to admit the fact.

  As though defeated, Kate gave a weary sigh and slowly shook her head. “You’re ready to think the worst of me, Jess. That’s what hurts the most.”

  Jess could only stare at her, looking deep into her blue eyes as he worked to understand the puzzle of the woman before him.

  It didn’t take long to realize that the only thing he’d figured out was that he’d come full circle. His heart still galloped when she was near, and no matter how hard he resisted, he couldn’t deny he was head over boots in love with the woman.

  Yet here he stood, once again about to watch Kate Rainbolt walk away from him. Walk away with his heart.

  Chapter Twelve

  Another day, another rodeo. This was the second rodeo this week, and it only served to confirm the decision Kate had come to this morning. She sat in the bleachers letting the familiar buzz of the crowd, along with the smell of dirt, leather and animals soothe her as the crowd returned to their seats after intermission.

  As usual, her gaze scanned the bleachers of the indoor facility as it began to fill up. Cowboys and cowgirls of all shapes and sizes entered, finding their seats once again and settling in for the action that would soon begin on the arena floor. Kate inspected each of them, as was her habit, hoping her gaze would land on a familiar face.

  It was time to walk away from the search that had consumed her life for so long. She knew it in her heart, yet every single time she made a mental step forward to thoughts of a new life, fear yanked her back to the life she’d known.

  “Kate!”

  She turned and stood at Franny’s familiar voice. Her friend wore a grin as wide as the cowboy hat perched on the back of her head. She bounded down the steps toward Kate. Her trademark rhinestone-studded Western shirt and oversize trophy buckle sparkled in the sunshine.

  “Franny, why aren’t you getting ready for your event?”

  “I just wanted to check on you.”

  “Me? I’m fine.”

  “You didn’t look so fine this morning. I peeked outside when I got up, and you were sitting on a yard chair, looking forlorn with your Bible in your lap. You hardly said anything at breakfast either.”

  “I’m okay. I had a long talk with the Lord.”

  Franny nodded thoughtfully. “Does that mean you did all the talking or He did?”

  “For once, I just listened.” Kate smiled. “Franny, I’ve decided this is my last rodeo.”

/>   “I was afraid you were going to say that. But I understand.”

  “Do you?” Kate cocked her head. Was she the only one late to the party?

  “Well, sure. You’ve got everything back in Rebel, including a fella.”

  A sigh slipped out at the mention of Jess McNally. If only... She’d never have Jess. Too much time and too much distrust stood between them.

  “You’re not going anywhere yet, are you?” Franny asked.

  “No. I’ll head out in the morning.” She looked at her friend. “Where will you be off to next?”

  “To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about going home.”

  “What?”

  “My run was awful on Monday. I’m starting to think it might be time to retire while I can still save face.”

  “It wasn’t awful—”

  Franny held up a hand and laughed. “Only a true friend would say that. I’ll see how things go, but I’ve had a look at the competition. I’m not taking home any prize money today.” She laughed again. “Good thing I’m not here for the riches.”

  “Only the fame, right?” Kate returned with a smile.

  “Right.” Franny smiled right back. “I’ll see you back at the trailer, then?”

  “Yes.”

  Kate settled in her seat and couldn’t resist a glance at her phone, wondering what Jess was doing today. It was Friday, so maybe he was taking his mom to dialysis, or perhaps he and Willard were checking fence lines. She missed the proud, stubborn cowboy, and that surprised her.

  For years, she’d traveled from small towns to big cities, all over the states, to places she didn’t even know existed. How far her world had grown from the days when she’d lived in an ancient trailer outside Rebel. Every few months, she’d stop back in Oklahoma to visit her family. Besides her brothers, there wasn’t anyone she’d ever missed. She’d schooled her heart not to be sentimental.

  Yet here she was thinking about a tall, dark-haired cowboy with laughing gray eyes and a smile that set off a yearning in her heart. She’d always been a solo act, but when she thought about Jess, the idea of a partnership with a man who understood and cared about her seemed irresistible. And also way out of reach.