by Natalie Ann
“Probably,” she said when they were unloading their goodies. “I definitely want to try something with maple first. If you don’t mind and want to be a helper for me, I can make you something to take on the road with you?”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he said but had a massive grin on his face.
“I offered. Something simple like maple pecan cookies. They’d last you a few days.”
“Maybe, if that,” he said, his boyish smile never dropping. She was going to miss that too. That for such a calm serious person at times, he always had a smile for her. “I’d love to help you out and then if you cut yourself I’m here to fix it.”
“No knives needed,” she said. “But since we’ve got time before dinner, we can make them now.”
He seemed game, so she got all the ingredients out and lined them up like she always did, then pulled out her laptop.
“What are you looking for?”
“A recipe. I’ve got one here somewhere. I’m going to use my shortbread recipe and add the maple. I want to make notes in case I have to adjust it.”
“So I’m your test subject?” he asked, tweaking her nose.
“Of course you are. Don’t worry, I won’t poison you.”
By the time the cookies were baked—with Justin eating one straight out of the oven and closing his eyes in ecstasy—it was almost five and though she’d sampled the cookies too, she was ready for some real food.
When they got to the restaurant, he ordered a beer, her an iced tea. “No wine?” he asked her.
She hadn’t been drinking any alcohol in months. Not since she’d been waiting to find out if she was pregnant the first time. Then when she’d thought she wasn’t, she hadn’t had the urge for anything. Even before the condom broke, she’d only had one out with him before switching to tea or water. It was working in her favor now to just say, “Not really in the mood. I’m more in the mood for a big fat juicy steak.”
“Worked up an appetite, huh?” he said. “Just like you put away two of those donuts before me.”
“You aren’t supposed to mention that,” she said with her hands on her hips.
She always ate well but rarely ordered beef out. She only cooked it when he was around too. She was dying for it. Kind of like she was those donuts.
“I need to pack myself full of protein so I’ve got the energy to go all night. Got to make sure I get enough of you to hold me over while you’re gone,” she said quietly at their table.
“You’re lucky the table didn’t just move with my reaction to that statement.”
She laughed and slid her hand under the table on his thigh. “Can I get a reaction out of you and get the table to pop up now?”
“Cut that out,” he said, laughing.
It was better this way, keeping it on the same playing field they’d had all along.
By the time they got back to her place, she was ready to rip his clothes right off. Her hormones wanted what they wanted and they wanted it right now.
First it was the donuts, then the beef and now it was the man in front of her.
They barely got the front door closed and she was undoing his jeans and pushing them down, getting on her knees in front of him.
“I find I’m still hungry for more.”
She covered him fast with her mouth before he could do more than swear.
Her head was bobbing up and down on him, his hands in her hair, guiding her to the speed he liked.
She’d never been one that enjoyed doing this. She would and had, but could only go so long before she started to gag. With her stomach not as strong as normal, she had no clue how she was going to react, but she couldn’t seem to stop either.
“Taryn,” Justin said, pulling her head back a bit. “You need to slow down.”
Her hands were still stroking him up and down, then her tongue came out and started to lick around the tip, grabbing the moisture, then the length of him, covering him completely.
“Jesus,” Justin said, but she ignored him. Her own body was getting worked up, fluid coating her between her legs.
Her hands were moving as fast as her mouth until suddenly Justin pushed her back and picked her up, cradling her in his arms and kicking his jeans out of the way.
He carried her to her room and set her on the bed, then went to get a condom. She stood up and started to pull all her clothes off, the two of them reaching for each other the minute they were both completely naked.
He covered himself fast, then went to lean over her, but she pushed him on his back and climbed on. She needed to be in control tonight.
She needed to feel like she could take the wheel for something in her life when so many things felt out of reach.
She straddled his hips, lined him right up and slid down, then rose up again.
His hands went to her breasts, squeezing and pinching, plucking at her nipples. They weren’t as tender, but they sure the hell were sensitive in a good way and it shot sensations right to the core of her, making her ride him harder and faster.
She knew her boobs were jiggling and she didn’t care one bit. There was nothing she cared about at all other than getting to the end and feeling Justin coming with her.
He must have been feeling the same thing because he reached up and wrapped his hand in her hair and yanked her down, his mouth crushing hers.
She continued to move up and down until Justin pushed her knees out and she was lying on top of him.
This was a tighter fit, not as much range of motion, but it was touching different parts of her and working her up even more.
She moved her hands around searching for his, but he shook them free and put them around her cheeks, pulling her head back. “I want to watch you,” he said. “Keep going and let me see you come.”
Her eyes never left his, her hips moving front and back until everything built up so high and hard it felt as if this pressure inside of her just needed to burst free.
She wanted to close her eyes when that explosion came but found she couldn’t. She needed to see if he could keep his own opened and he did.
What they shared just now...that was nothing like anything they had in the past and before she could stop herself, she burst into tears like a wuss.
32
Heart Was Heavy
Justin wasn’t that far from home and the five hours in the car were starting to feel like five years.
Not just that his body hated making this trip, but it seemed like his heart was heavy too.
Here he’d said over and over again to Taryn that he’d be back in two weeks or less, but the truth was, he was having a hard time leaving to begin with.
He’d said those things because he’d seen the emotions in her eyes and had been feeling them for weeks. If she let go he knew he would go right along with her.
And when she started to cry last night, the minute he let go of her, she got up and ran to the bathroom. He gave her a few minutes and then knocked on the door. “Hey. Are you okay?” he’d asked softly.
“Yeah. I’m so embarrassed,” she said, opening the door. “Just in here trying to gather myself and not look like a fool over that. Not sure what came over me.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. You’re not a fool. I already told you I didn’t think this was going to be as hard as it was. But it’s not the end. Just a change of sorts.”
She snorted at him. “If you say so. We all know how this is going to end up.”
“No, we don’t,” he said.
“Justin, if we want to humor each other we can, but five hours away is a lot and you know that. We both have jobs that cause us to work on the weekends and there are no direct flights to make the commute any easier.”
He’d looked that up himself but already knew since he’d tried it in the past. Layover and rental cars, times to check in and out of the airport, half the time it was longer than the five-hour drive.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye or write this off, but if you are, then give me the word,
” he said. “Don’t be shy or worry you’re going to hurt my feelings.”
She’d narrowed her eyes at him and he knew he’d hit a nerve. Good. He wanted to make sure this wasn’t something in his head...what he was feeling for her.
“If your feelings couldn’t be hurt then you should just say goodbye to me now.”
She was right. “I think we are both on edge about this. Can’t we just agree to take it as it comes? To try to make something work. Once I’m back I’ll have a better idea of my schedule. It’s not like I work five days a week. I can see about getting scheduled all days in a row and then have three or four days off in between. That might help to come here. I don’t care what the days off are.”
“We’ll figure it out,” she’d said and then wiped her eyes and got dressed.
They’d spent the rest of the night watching a movie and then going to bed. He’d held her all night after they made love one more time, then he was reaching for her again this morning.
She’d joked about wanting to get enough of him to hold her over while he was gone, but he was feeling the same.
He’d stopped to see his mother on the way out of town. He gave her a hug and a kiss and she started to bring up Taryn’s name and he cut her off. She’d been bringing it up a lot and he wasn’t ready or even willing to talk about things.
He made sure his father was fine and was going to take it easy, and by the time he got back, they’d be ready to start radiation.
When he finally pulled into his garage and got out, he didn’t feel any sense of being at home like he normally did at the end of a shift.
He’d bought this townhouse because it was close to the hospital, it gave him the room he needed with little to no maintenance, and was brand new so he could move right in.
But when he walked in from the garage to the mudroom, nothing felt welcoming.
Sure, it was better than the cramped apartment he’d been staying in over the clubhouse. That was just a place to lay his head at times, and if he had the choice, he’d rather lay it next to Taryn’s in her bed.
Here, he had a nice comfortable king sized bed, at the apartment just a double he squeezed in. Taryn had a queen at her apartment that was still a tight fit for the two of them, but he didn’t care either.
He walked into his room just now on the first floor and the bed he’d loved so much seemed big and lonely. A place he’d be by himself for the next few weeks.
There were no homey touches in his place. No smells that reminded him of sweetness and a brown-haired beauty.
It was just cold...and empty. And he wondered how the hell this was going to work out.
Was he just kidding himself thinking they could make it long distance? Was he willing to relocate there? It’s not like he had a lot of job opportunities, though there was the opening he’d been filling in for.
Taryn had left home before, would she be willing to again? Could he even ask that of her having just returned and she was getting her name out there for her business?
She’d said more than once she had the job of a lifetime with her brother-in-law. She could come and go when she wanted and have the best of both worlds. She’d never find that here, he knew that.
He was just going to have to put it from his mind for now and think things over.
That was part of what these two weeks away were for. He wasn’t admitting that to anyone though.
A few weeks ago he’d made the decision to do this and see how it felt. How the drive would be. The distance from Taryn. Her reaction to him leaving.
How much it bothered him to drive away from her.
Yep, it bothered him more than he realized.
But could he make such a drastic change in his life over dating someone for a few months? And a relationship that was just supposed to be fun to help him pass the time he was there.
Guess he had less control over what he considered fun than he thought.
He went back to his car and got his clothes out of the back and brought them into the laundry room. He started a load of laundry and then grabbed the container of cookies that had been sitting on the front seat for his drive here. He’d eaten three during the trip but still had over a dozen left.
When he opened up the fridge there wasn’t anything in there but some beer and water. He went to the cabinets and found a box of crackers that hadn’t been opened, grabbed a handful of them and moved back to the second floor checking everything out.
The place looked fine. Just like he’d left it.
Tanner had been checking in on it every few weeks and would have told him if there were issues. He supposed he could share some of Taryn’s cookies with Tanner too...or not.
He picked his phone up and texted his mother to say he made it back in one piece. It’d save her from calling him soon while she watched the clock knowing when he’d arrive.
The next message was to Taryn. He could feel her out since he was gone. It wasn’t as if they spent every day together when he was there. They could easily go four days without seeing each other if he was working or taking care of his father.
They didn’t even talk or text daily at times either.
But he always knew she was there if he needed her.
She texted back right away, with a picture of applesauce. Rather than go back and forth, he called her.
“Hey,” she said, her voice light. “How was the drive?”
“Boring and long,” he said. “Your cookies kept me fueled.”
“How many did you eat?”
“Just three. I was a good boy. And since when do you make applesauce?”
“Since I’ve got a ton of apples and don’t think I can use them fast enough. I can use the applesauce in recipes in the future though. I’ll freeze some of it.”
“I never realized how much of a Little Miss Homemaker you were.”
“I didn’t think I was,” she said. There was some silence on the other end. “So, what are your plans this week?”
“First thing I need to do is get some food. I’ve got nothing more than some crackers and beer. I’m doing laundry and then will clean the house. Lots of dust in places.”
“Talk about a homemaker,” she said.
“It’s not that I want to do that as much as I need to. I’ll probably just relax tomorrow but then stop into work next week. My father’s results should have been read and sent in by then.”
“You’re expecting it to be good though, right?”
“It should be, but you never know. Until we see it, we are only assuming.”
“And we know you don’t like to assume much,” she said.
He wasn’t sure where that was coming from. “It’s always better to have facts; otherwise, you’re just working yourself up one way or another.”
“True,” she said.
“What are you doing on your day off tomorrow?” he asked. “Baking all day?”
“I’ve got two cakes to deliver. I’m almost done baking them now and will put them together tomorrow. One is a small wedding and the other is just an end of the summer party someone is having.”
“What kind of cakes?” he asked, getting comfortable on the couch. It felt like a normal conversation they’d been having for months. What she was making and then he could get hungry for it.
“Chocolate for the party and red velvet for the wedding. Both pretty simple. I might go to dinner at Trevor’s after. My parents are leaving in a few days so it will probably be the last time we can get together.”
“That’s nice,” he said, knowing she was close to her family. More than he’d ever been with his. Even with his father and him on better speaking terms he wasn’t sure he’d ever have the relationship the Miles family did. He heard a timer going off and said, “I’ll let you go. I know you’re busy.”
“I better not burn these cakes. I’ll be around later though if you want to chat or check in. Otherwise, I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Bye,” he said, hanging up and was shocked he didn’t want to.
33
Make Things Work
“How are you doing?”
Taryn turned to look at her mother who’d asked the question. She was sitting in the living room with her parents while Trevor and Logan were on the boat, Kennedy and Riley in the kitchen. She wanted to go help but was told to get out, that she spent enough time around food and appliances.
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“Because Justin left for home.”
“For a few weeks,” she pointed out. “He’s been gone about twenty hours. I’ve gone longer than that not seeing him.”
She’d been saying this to herself over and over for the past day. Him calling her yesterday and then again last night was odd but nice too.
It helped her believe that maybe he was feeling a lot more. Like maybe he was coming to care for her as she was falling in love with him.
He’d been the one to suggest the long distance relationship.
He was the one saying he could make the trip back and forth.
He was trying to make things work more than her.
Of course he had no idea she was pregnant and it’d be harder for her to do it as the time went on.
She’d have to tell him soon, but not now. Not when he was there and she was here.
She’d wait until he came back first. He wasn’t even going to be gone two weeks completely. More like ten days. He’d just asked them to take him off the schedule for a week at the hospital and then put him toward the second half of that next week.
Which meant when he came back he’d be working for four days in a row too.
But he’d be here and she could see him in the morning. She supposed just knowing he was in town was good. She was actually considering offering that he stay at her place when he came back. Then they could see more of each other.
Only she was afraid it might hurt even more when he left if they saw each other daily.
“It’s just the start of it,” her father said. “When he comes back it won’t be for long. Have you guys talked about the future or are you just going to go your separate ways?”