by Natalie Ann
But if Taryn was pregnant, a flexible schedule in Rochester was the least of his concerns.
35
She Was Wrong
Taryn left work the next day around three. The park was open, but it’d been closed Tuesday and Wednesday, the two days prior, and she wasn’t that busy.
She brought in sweets for the cafe, she’d done a few financial statements for Logan and met with him about them; then when she wouldn’t stop yawning he told her to go home and get some sleep.
This damn kid was draining all her energy. She’d read it was normal so she wasn’t worried. But what she was worried about was how much more drained she was going to feel as the time went on.
When she pulled into the parking lot of the spa, the last vehicle she expected to see was Justin’s. It couldn’t be his. It had to be another client’s.
But when she went upstairs, she saw him sitting on her couch with his arms crossed.
“Justin. What are you doing here?” The smile filled her face and thoughts of a nap were gone.
“Kennedy let me in about ten minutes ago when I got here. Are you pregnant?”
And there went her smile. More like a churning in her belly. The last thing she expected was him to return early and then hit her right away with that question.
“What?”
“You heard me loud and clear. Are you pregnant?”
There was no use lying. She wanted to know how he figured it out but then reminded herself he was a doctor and she’d probably been saying things to make him think that. Hadn’t she paused when he made the pickles and ice cream comment last night?
She’d planned to tell him when he returned but figured she had a few more days to work it out in her head. Guess she was wrong.
“Yes.”
“So you lied to me?” he asked, standing up.
“No. I didn’t.”
He shook his head as if he didn’t believe her. “How far along are you?”
“About seventeen weeks.” She held her hand up. “I didn’t lie. I got my period. It was the truth. I was a week late and I was nervous and then I got it. It was light and only lasted two days, but it’s not like I’ve never had that happen before and so I just brushed it off. The next month when I was late again I wouldn’t have thought anything of it other than my breasts hurt like crazy and I’d gotten nauseous a few times.”
“You obviously knew before I left. Were you even going to tell me? Are you going to follow through with this pregnancy?”
“I was going to tell you,” she said. “Sit down.” He was pacing and it was making her nervous.
“I’ll pace if I want to pace. I have a right to when I’m hit with this. When did you plan on telling me?”
“Next week when you returned. I would have before you left again. I couldn’t keep this a secret and you know it, nor would I want to.”
“I don’t understand the reason for waiting to say something. What difference would it make?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “You don’t get it.”
“No!” he yelled. “I obviously don’t, but I want you to tell me.”
“Don’t yell at me,” she said and burst into tears, then went to the kitchen to get some tissues and blow her nose. “I’m emotional. Stupid hormones.”
“I’ll apologize for yelling but not for the anger.”
“I knew you’d be mad and upset. You’ve got every reason to be.”
“You’re right,” he said “I do. Back to my question. When were you going to tell me? And why even wait?”
“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay here. You came here for your family and you’ve made it very clear you were going back. You didn’t need this on your shoulders to make you feel guilty as if you needed to stay now. I don’t want a man to be with me because of an obligation.”
“You know what is funny about all of this and what is proving you wrong? The fact that I’m the one that wanted to continue with the relationship long distance. I brought it up. Not you. I’m the one willing to make this all work out. Not you. It never occurred to you that you could tell me then? Or don’t you want to continue on with me? I was under the impression based on your tears when I left days ago you didn’t want me to leave.”
“We have no idea how a long distance relationship would work,” she argued.
“No, we don’t. But you are ready to kill it before we can even get it started. I just thought you felt more for me than that, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this was all about fun for you.”
“It was,” she said. “But it changed.”
“And you couldn’t tell me that?”
“Why haven’t you said anything to me about it?”
“I’ve brought things up a few times and you never latch on.”
“Like what?” she asked with her hands on her hips. “That you’d miss my body when you were gone. That you’d miss the view here or my cooking. How is that getting me to latch on? What I’ve latched on to was that you were reminding me you were leaving.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again. “I thought of that last night but that doesn’t change the fact that you kept this from me.”
“I wasn’t going to keep it from you forever. There is no way I could.”
“Who else knows?” he asked.
“No one.”
“Really?”
“Honestly,” she said. “Trust me, if my family knew, you’d know by now. Trevor or Logan would have been in your face, if not my father. My parents left two days ago and I didn’t tell them. They are going to be hurt, but I couldn’t tell them without telling you first. That wouldn’t be right.”
“At least you were mature enough to do that.”
“Oh come on. Let’s not talk about maturity. Our whole relationship was based on how fast we could get each other’s clothes off. We both wanted it and we both got it.”
“But it changed for me,” he said. “And you’re lying if you try to tell me it didn’t change for you.”
“I just told you it did change for me, but I’ve needed time to come to terms with this. You live there. I live here. Now all of a sudden we are going to have a child. I never wanted to be a single mother, but I sure the hell don’t want a man who feels like he has to stay with me either.”
He started to pace again. “I want to just punch a wall.”
“You? You never lose your temper over anything. Why now?”
“Taryn. Aren’t you the one that said men don’t see things that are right in front of their faces? Maybe you should open your darn eyes too.”
She blinked them a few times to get the tears out. She had nothing to lose. “Do you love me, Justin?”
“I would have thought it was pretty obvious since I was trying every way I could to make us work out and you were saying everything to make me think you didn’t want to put the effort in.”
“Is that what you thought?”
“What was I supposed to think? I’ve got my pride too. I’ve been feeling you out for weeks and you want to keep putting this all in a slot again. The Fun Club. Isn’t that what we said on day one? But then you burst into tears the night before I left and I thought to myself, okay, she’s just holding it back. It’s nothing more than that.”
“I was.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m pregnant. The weight of the world you always carry on your shoulders was just going to have more put on it. With your family and your career. You come here and meet me and the last thing I wanted to do was add to that. You started to feel like you wanted more with me and I was thrilled, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t still feel obligated to completely uproot your life if you knew I was having a baby. Be honest, Justin. The five-hour distance was going to be hard, but knowing you have a child coming. You couldn’t be there during that.”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Come on. You aren’t hardwired for it. You barely spoke to your father for years and yet came here to care for him. You put
everything on hold and you’re going to tell me that you could live five hours from here knowing you had a child coming? That you wouldn’t or couldn’t be here to watch me? To make sure I was taking care of myself? Or what happens when it’s time to deliver the baby? Or the baby is born? I knew you couldn’t do that, how could you not?”
“You’re right. I couldn’t.”
“That’s right. So put yourself in my shoes. Here I am just adding one more commitment to your life. One more obligation. You had your career all planned out and didn’t get the support you wanted for it. I don’t want to take that away from you and I feel like I am.”
“We’ve known each other for a few months and you think you know me so well that you can make those decisions without me?” He snorted. “You really don’t have a clue.”
He turned and left and she did the only thing she could do. She started to cry some more and went and got the ice cream.
36
Got The Best Of Him
Justin wasn’t sure where the hell he was going to go. He could go back to his apartment above the clubhouse, but that held no appeal. Everyone would be there in his family and he wasn’t in the mood to see anyone.
He had no clue how he expected the conversation to go with Taryn, but it wasn’t with him slamming out the door before he even found out any more information on her pregnancy. He hadn’t even asked if she’d seen a doctor yet.
Talk about immature on his part.
But for once his emotions got the best of him when he never let them before.
He just needed to cool off first then he’d go back and talk. There was a lot they had to figure out.
He turned his vehicle around and decided to go to his parents’ house. When he was struggling as a kid or needed some space, he liked to sit on the deck and look at the mountains in the distance.
Hell, he’d been doing it for months now caring for his father. There was something about that place that centered him even with all the turmoil he had around him.
He parked his car in the driveway and then walked around back and up the deck. He had keys to the house but didn’t need to go in. He just wanted his chair that faced the landscape in the distance and some peace and quiet.
He got the chair but not the peace and quiet after five minutes.
“Justin? What are you doing here?” his father asked.
He turned and saw the deck door open and his father standing there in sweats and a T-shirt, no hat on his head. He had a little bit of fuzz coming back already and figured his father was happy with that. Not that his dad wore a baseball hat around the house anyway.
“Sorry. I thought no one was here. Do you feel okay?” He fully expected his father to be at the course. It’d been ten days since his last treatment and by now his father was normally putting in more time than he should be even if he went in later in the day. It wasn’t even five yet, but it looked as if his father had been lying down.
“Yeah. Just tired. There was a tournament today and I got up earlier than normal and was there about eight hours.” When he scowled at his father, his dad laughed. “I was in the cart for most of it driving around while prizes and holes were set up. Once the tournament started at noon, I was in the clubhouse. It’s still going, but I left over an hour ago to come nap.”
“Good for you.” In the past his father would have pushed himself. He wasn’t sure what got through to him to come home and lie down. “Everything else okay?”
“Yeah. Dr. Willis called and said my PET scan was clean as a whistle. Is that why you’re back early? To tell me about that? You could have called.”
“I was going to,” he said. “That’s not why I’m back, but it’s all great news. I met with my colleague last night and he agreed with the next step of treatment. They are doing everything they should be here and it looks to be working. I’d say you’ve got many years left in you to drive the rest of us nuts.”
His father grinned and walked out to sit next to him in a chair. “So if it wasn’t me that brought you back here, then what was it? I’d take a guess and say Taryn, but if that was the case you’d be there with her and not here sulking.”
“Sulking?” he asked with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Yeah. Most of your life you came out here to sit in that corner and stare out into the distance when things didn’t go your way.”
“Then you’d know I spent a lot of time out here.”
“You did. We fought for a long time. I couldn’t believe you wanted to be a doctor when you couldn’t even have a reasonable conversation with me about things as a kid.”
“As you said, I was a kid. I tried to talk to you and we only ended up fighting half the time. I came out here to put it behind me. After a while it was like talking to these mountains. I got it off my chest in my mind and they didn’t talk back. I was able to say my side of it.”
His father snorted. “You always had to lay all the groundwork for your case.”
“That’s how you get someone to listen to you.”
“Really?” his father asked. “Says the person who just admitted he came here to talk to the mountains. So, what are you telling them this time? I’m pretty sure it has to do with a woman.”
“It does,” he said, not sure how much he wanted his father to know. But the truth was, he could tell his father something and know it wouldn’t go any further.
“Am I to guess what you’ve got isn’t as casual as you thought it was? Or is it and you wish it wasn’t, but she wants it casual?”
“I think we both know it’s not casual,” he said, letting out a not so funny laugh.
“So the distance is going to be an issue? Are you thinking of coming back here or will she go there at some point?”
With their hours, they were going to need help with a child coming. They’d have to be close to family. “No, she won’t go there for a number of reasons. One being she just moved back here. I’ve got a job there and it’s not like there is a lot for me here.”
“Seems to me you could have a job easily enough. Almost like it’s just waiting for you,” his father said.
He thought of that too. It could work out. He’d been asked multiple times if he wanted to stay. That it was his if he just said the word. It would solve a lot of problems.
“Yeah. I know. That’s the least of my worries currently.”
“I’d think that would be the most important one,” his father said. “Unless you are afraid of giving up your job and career and if things don’t work out between you two. It is early yet.”
“Oh, if they don’t work out, I won’t be going anywhere too far.” He took a deep breath. “Taryn’s pregnant.”
“Justin! How the hell could you let that happen at your age?”
Just when he thought maybe he and his father could work on their relationship he was going to get a lecture on responsibility.
“I didn’t let anything happen. But in life shit happens. I’d think you of all people would know that. We can’t control everything.”
“And you like to. So what is the plan?” his father asked. “When did you find out?”
“No plan right yet. Not a concrete one. I put it all together last night and came back to talk to her.”
“Sounds more like confront her if you are here and sulking while looking at the mountains.”
“She hid it from me,” he said. “She’s known for a while and hasn’t said a word.”
“Maybe she didn’t want you to feel obligated to stay,” his father said. “Did you think of that?”
“She said as much to me. I get it. I do. It doesn’t change the fact that she could have told me before I went home a few days ago.”
“Was she going to tell you at all?” his father asked. “I mean this is my first grandchild and all and I’d like to think we’ll have some part in the child’s life. Maybe this kid will be a golfer.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t even go there.”
His father laughed. “It was a joke, but y
ou are so far gone you can’t even see it.”
“Maybe it’s because it’s been years since you’ve joked with me about anything,” he said. “My child doesn’t need that kind of guilt on their shoulders. They will do what they want in their life.”
“And maybe that is what Taryn was trying to do by not telling you. Maybe she didn’t want to put any guilt on your shoulders because I’m pretty sure she knows how much has been there in your life.”
“She does. Again, she said as much to me.”
“And you’re still holding it against her for not telling you? She’s known, what a week or so? How far along is she?”
“I don’t have all the details. She’s out of her first trimester. It wasn’t until last week that she realized she was pregnant. Not everyone has the same symptoms.”
“So then it happened pretty early in your relationship. Maybe before you even had a relationship like now?”
“That about sums it up.”
“Do you love this girl?”
“I do,” he said. “I told her so tonight. More like she asked me if I did and I came back with it was obvious.”
“But the words hadn’t been said by either of you by the sounds of it. So it must not be too obvious.”
“No. I stormed out after getting frustrated that she seems to think she knows me so well that she didn’t want to put pressure on me and decided to not say anything until I was ready to return home permanently. I said if she knew me so well she wouldn’t have waited like that.”
“So now what?” his father asked. “You know she’s carrying your child and you aren’t talking? Doesn’t sound like things are so great.”
“You think?” he said dryly. “I’ll go back over later and we’ll figure it out. Even if she and I can’t work things out, I’ll be here for my child. Better get used to seeing me more.”
“Then it’s a damn good thing we put our past behind us or both of us would be having a lot of heartburn.”
“I’m not naive enough to think we aren’t going to continue to butt heads. It’s just the way we are, but we are getting there.”