by Natalie Ann
“We are,” his father said.
“Don’t tell Mom about the baby. Let me do it, please.”
“Don’t wait too long. You have no idea how hard it is to live with a woman who can hold a grudge.”
He laughed. “I might be finding that out.”
37
Land On Her Butt
When Taryn was done with her ice cream, she grabbed her keys and left. She needed to calm down and try to figure out where to go.
The lake would be quiet now and she figured her brother wouldn’t mind if she went and sat on the dock.
She parked her car and got out, then walked around back and down to the dock, just staring out at the water. Her hand was on her belly and she thought to herself her child and her niece were going to be the same age. They’d be in school together and play. They’d swim here off this dock and go out on the water.
“Taryn?”
She turned and saw Riley coming toward her. “What are you doing here?”
“I just got home and saw your car in the driveway,” Riley said. “I had a doctor’s appointment and got out early. Everything okay?”
“How did the appointment go?”
“Good. Baby Miles is doing good. A little less than four months to go.”
Her sister-in-law was just showing a tiny bump, but she’d be popping out pretty soon. “I’m surprised you don’t have the nursery all set now.”
Riley was a planner. She had goals and ideas and knew where she was going in life and when it’d all get accomplished. Trevor was the one that just took things as they came.
Taryn, she’d always had a vision and it never seemed to work the way she thought. She tried planning her life. She tried being spontaneous.
In the end it didn’t matter. She was coming to realize that life threw curveballs at you all the time and you had to figure out how to hit them back or catch them. Lately it seemed like she was just ducking out of the way and trying not to land on her butt.
“I’m still deciding on the color I want. Trevor said he’ll get it painted when I’m ready. I don’t want any theme, commercial or cartoony either. I think I’m going for nice soft colors. Neutral right now. The nursery will be the smaller room closest to us, but at some point we’ll move her to the bigger room. That will be more important.”
“And you’ll want another child and figured why decorate the nursery a second time if you had a boy?” she asked.
“Exactly.”
“You are so practical.”
“You make me sound boring.”
“Never,” she said smiling, her hand going to her belly again before she dropped it away.
She caught Riley’s eyes go there. “Why don’t we go up and get something to drink?”
“I’m good. Or water is good.”
“I figured you’d say that,” Riley said.
When they were in the kitchen, Riley handed over the bottle. “Thanks.”
“So when are you due?”
“How do you know?”
“Taryn. You were acting strange at dinner before your parents left. You aren’t drinking alcohol.”
“I never drank that much before.”
“No, you didn’t. But you were too adamant you didn’t want it when it was offered.”
“I didn’t realize that.”
“I might not have either if I didn’t watch you scrunch your nose at the potatoes as they went by you at the table as if you might gag. Since I’ve had that reaction a few times during the pregnancy I noticed it.”
“What else?” she asked. “Do I need to worry about someone else asking me?”
“Nothing else other than you just touching your stomach again. Sure, you could have gas or indigestion, but it was the way you did it softly. Does anyone know?”
“Justin. We talked about an hour ago and it didn’t go so well. He slammed out of the apartment pissed at me.”
“He’s back in town?” Riley asked.
“Yeah. He put it together last night and drove back today. He was waiting for me at my place. My guess is Kennedy let him in thinking he was missing me so much and was going to surprise me.”
“Maybe he was missing you,” Riley said, pulling out some cheese and cutting it, then placing it on a plate with crackers. She reached for a slice to nibble. “Small meals and snacks work for me.”
“He’s pissed I didn’t tell him.”
“How far along are you?”
“Seventeen weeks or so.”
“Wow. Okay then. And you just realized it?”
“I know the date I conceived. The condom broke our first time. But I got my period a few weeks later. It was light and only a few days, but there was no cause for me to not think it was my period.”
“Some women get their periods for a few months.”
“So I learned. Justin had been waiting for me to tell him if I was pregnant and I told him I wasn’t. I didn’t think I was. Then when I was late the second time I did panic a little. Or not as much until I felt queasy a few times and my breasts were killing me. Then I knew I needed to take a test.”
“Why didn’t you tell Justin right away?”
“Because he was going home. He’s made it very clear he was going to do that all along.”
“You guys never talked about trying for a long distance relationship? I was under the impression that you felt more for him than what you were trying to tell everyone it was.”
“I do. But I didn’t want him to feel bad about that either. It wasn’t our agreement.”
Riley laughed. “And neither was this child in your belly, but shit happens.”
“It sure the hell does. Before he left last week he did bring up having a long distance relationship. You know that but it did just come up with us. And I started to feel like things might be okay. Then I wondered how the hell this was going to work with him being five hours away. I mean he’s a doctor and he’s protective. He put his life on hold for months to care for a man he hasn’t had a great relationship with for years. He’d go nuts being that far away with me here.”
“You’ve moved once from this area. There is no saying you couldn’t again,” Riley said.
“True. If I knew how he felt. That’s a big ask for me to leave a job and family being pregnant. It’s not like we were married or anything. There is insurance and child care, money of my own, a place to live.”
“You have a lot of negative thoughts without finding out the facts. That’s what conversations are for.”
“I know. He pointed that all out to me a little while ago.”
“Do you think he loves you? Can you see a life with him?”
“He does love me. I mean he didn’t come out and say it, but I asked him if he did while we were fighting. He said I made a comment about things being in front of his face but it’s been in front of mine and I haven’t seen it either.”
“I believe that.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because you didn’t want him to feel guilty. You’ve had it in your head about all your failed relationships and you were ready to write this one off too. Now all of a sudden you’re going to be tied to him for life in one form or another with a child and you’re focusing on that.”
“How do you know these things?”
“Been there and done that a time or two in my life,” Riley said. “But I learned you can’t plan someone else’s reactions for them. They need to figure things out on their own. And sometimes they can surprise you.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“No one says you need to know it all. One day at a time,” Riley said. “You’ve got a job, you’ve got a place to stay and family around to support you. You’ve got a guy that will make a great father even if you two don’t work out.”
Taryn started to cry. “But I want us to work out.”
Riley pulled her into her arms for a hug. “Then you need to tell him that.”
“His life isn’t here.”
“You don’t know t
hat. You’re assuming again. Why?”
“I don’t want him to blame me if things don’t go right. If we don’t work out. Or the fact I’m pregnant and I know he’ll want a part in his child’s life. He won’t want to be that far away. He even admitted it. So I don’t want him to blame me that he’s stuck here now.”
“You’re assuming things again. He’s a big boy and can make those decisions on his own. But something tells me there’d be no blame cast. Are you worried he won’t be able to find work here? Why not try to get the job he’s filling in on?”
“I’m sure he won’t be thrilled with it.”
“Assuming again,” Riley pointed out.
“I know. We won’t know anything until we talk it out.”
“And even then you aren’t going to know it all. You aren’t going to have all the answers so don’t even try.”
“I didn’t realize how smart you were. My brother is pretty lucky.”
“Make sure you tell him that.”
“Trevor is going to throw a fit when he finds out I’m pregnant,” she said.
“There you go again, trying to figure out how other people are going to react. Stop it. Why do you care?”
“I have no idea. I think I let other people’s judgments of me dictate too much of my life for years. My family has always been good about things so I’m not sure why I’m worried now.”
“That’s right. Don’t worry about other people, just yourself and Justin. If you two can work it out—and I’m pretty sure you can—then who cares what the rest of the world thinks or feels?”
“Good advice.”
She gave Riley one more hug and then left, driving to the golf resort and then pulling around back where Justin had told her to park before. But he wasn’t there so she went back to her place and figured she’d start making dinner and let him know she’d like to talk when he was ready.
38
Bunch of Obstacles
Justin got the text when he was sitting on the deck with his father. The two of them weren’t talking much, but it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore either.
There was a time in his life when this was the norm and though he’d pushed it off the best he could, the tension always bothered him.
Now it seemed they could sit in silence and not worry the other was thinking of how to start or deflect a fight.
“Taryn?” his father asked.
“Yeah. She wants to talk when I’m ready.”
“Are you?” his father asked. “No use going over there if you’re still worked up. Or are you done talking to the mountains?”
“I’m done,” he said, standing up.
“Good luck. You’ll have to let me know how you make out. Your mother is going to be thrilled regardless of what happens with you and Taryn. Though I’m pretty sure it will all work out.”
“I hope so,” he said feeling that it could. They just had to get through a bunch of obstacles.
He drove back to Taryn’s, rang the bell, and then went up the stairs. She was in the kitchen cooking dinner and her mixers were going on top of it.
“Hey,” he said.
“Can we talk without us getting emotional?” she asked.
“I can,” he said. “I won’t slam out the door.”
“I went to try to find you after I left Riley’s, but I didn’t see you at your place.”
“Why did you go see Riley?” he asked.
“I didn’t. I went to go stand on the dock and just get under control. I don’t know what made me go there. I guess when I was a kid I’d stand out there to just breathe the air when I was upset. They say you can always go home even if that isn’t my home anymore. Riley got out of work early and saw me and we talked. She knows about the baby.”
“That’s fine. We might have been thinking alike. I went to my parents’ too. I liked to sit on the deck and look at the mountains. I thought I was alone but my father was there.”
“Did you two talk?”
“We did. He knows too.”
“I’m surprised you told him,” she said. “Are you hungry? I’ve got a ziti in the oven now. I’d made a pot of sauce and meatballs the other day.”
“Another craving?” he asked, moving toward her. He was going to hug her because he had to. They could talk and fight if they needed to, but he had to pull her into his arms.
“I wouldn’t say a craving as much as I like sauce this time of year. What are you doing?”
“What I should have done when you walked up to the door and I was sitting here waiting for you.” She went into his arms and held on. He heard her sniffle. “Go on and cry. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ve got you.”
He held her while the tears came until she finally pushed back and blew her nose. “I’m sorry. I’ve got so many things going through my head. So many emotions.”
“And you’ve had days of it rather than twenty-four hours like me.”
“More like weeks. But you get it. The longer I thought of things the more negative the spin I put on it. Riley pointed that out.”
“I’ve been known to do the same thing.” He sat down at the island. “First and foremost, I want you to know I love you. You asked me and I didn’t answer and I’m going to now. I want you to know that. Baby or not, I’ve felt it and I’m saying it.”
She sniffled some more. “I know this isn’t what we planned.”
“Stop. It doesn’t matter what was planned,” he said. “Do you love me? Can you at least answer me that?”
“I do. I just haven’t wanted to say it and make you feel bad about going home. Then I worried you’d feel trapped.”
“I don’t feel either of those things. We love each other and that means we can work through the rest.”
“No answers today,” she said. “That is what Riley kept trying to tell me. That I spent half my life planning things and the other half flying by the seat of my pants. I’m still pretty much in the same spot as I’ve been all along.”
“No, you’re not. You might be here in Lake Placid, but you’ve got a man that loves you.”
“You’re right. I do.”
“First things first. Have you been to the doctor? And if so, what have they said?”
She smiled and walked over to the mixer that was going, and shut it off and then pulled the bowl out and poured some batter into two cake pans.
“Yes. I went a few days ago. Everything looks good. As I said, I’m about seventeen weeks along. Due date is about March eighth or so.”
“Thereabouts,” he said. “Plenty of time. And you’re feeling fine? No sickness?”
“I’m good. I guess it helped to get through that first trimester when I didn’t even know it. I’m just tired on and off.”
“And you will be,” he said. “You can’t overdo it.”
“I don’t want you to doctor me, but to be my partner,” she said.
“It’s hard to separate the two,” he said.
“Try to at least.”
“I will. But it’s who I am.”
“I love who you are.” When the buzzer on the oven went off, she pulled out dinner and slid in the cake pans that had been sitting there.
“I’m going to accept the job at Saranac.”
“What? Don’t make a rash decision.”
“It’s not rash,” he said. “I’ve spent the past few days thinking of things before I even knew you were pregnant. I was going to go into work today and try to find a way to work my schedule out to have multiple days off in a row so we could spend time together, but I knew they weren’t going to agree to it.”
“How did you know that?” she asked.
“Because I’m one of many doctors there and if they did that for me for something other than short term it throws all the schedules off. I’m appreciative that they gave me this leave even though it put a lot of stress on my colleague’s backs. But we’ve done it for other people too. I’m not the first doctor to take a leave, for medical or personal reasons, but it’s always short term.”
“So, what was your plan if they’d said no?” she asked.
“Talk to you and get your thoughts on taking the job here. I guess it needed to come down to how you felt about me. I was pretty sure you loved me, but you’ve never said it until now. Why uproot my whole life if it was one sided?”
“What if I didn’t love you?” she asked. “What if I just told you no?”
He laughed at her and she grinned back. “I knew you’d be lying. I’m a pretty good judge of character. But knowing you’re pregnant wouldn’t have made a difference. I’d still have to come back. I want a relationship with my child. I don’t want to miss things and I would if I was that far away.”
“You were thinking of moving back here?” she asked. “I just worry you’re going to blame me if you aren’t happy in the future.”
“There is no blame to be had. Even if you said you didn’t love me, I was going to try to win you over and I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t here.”
She laughed. “You won me over before I had a bun in the oven.”
“A cake,” he said.
“What?”
“I think it’s better to say a cake in the oven,” he said.
“That is more appropriate. So where do we go from here?” she asked.
“For tonight we are going to have dinner and with any luck I get a slice of that cake you’re making for dessert. Then I’m going to hold you in my arms in bed and tell you over and over I’m not leaving. I’m not blaming anyone and that I’m thrilled I found the woman I love. And oh, by the way, I’m going to be a father!”
“I think that’s a great start,” she said, giving him a kiss.
Epilogue
“Only you would have a Halloween gender reveal cake,” Trevor said as Taryn placed the cake on the counter.
Her parents were back for the week since they’d had Riley’s baby shower yesterday. As much as Taryn didn’t want to infringe on that time, she wanted to do this when her parents were in town.