The Case Manager

by Latoya Chandler

“Come on, son. Where is Anthony?”

  “He went home without me.”

  It was difficult to keep up with Father McGivney as he raced out of the doors of Sacred Heart Church. That day just so happened to be the last time Father McGivney or any of us saw the members of Sacred Heart. After he took me home to have a sit-down with Mom and disclose everything to her, Father McGivney was excommunicated. The church covered it up with the circulating rumors of his love affair with Sister Mary Eunice. They were in love and didn’t deny it. Monsignor Whyte denied everything, and everyone believed him, including Mom. Mom was disgusted with Anthony and me. She allowed Monsignor Whyte to coerce her hand when he advised her that the church wanted nothing to do with her, or us. In his eyes, we were both what they liked to call a problem child and said we would cause trouble within the church and the parishioners.

  Being that the property belonged to Father McGivney, the clergy and parishioners left the church and relocated. Mom went with them, leaving us to Father McGivney and Sister Eunice. She said she no longer knew what to do with us. That was also around the same time that we met our newfound pregnant sister, Nancy. Nancy’s parents threw her away as well. Nancy was considered to be in the family way, and an unwed pregnancy was frowned upon. To make matters worse for them, it was with a black man.

  Chapter Nine

  Love: To Love and Be Loved

  Nakita

  It had been five months to date since I gave birth to my princess Adrianna Nicole. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would be able to give birth to something so perfect when I was a complete mess. It was love before sight the moment I felt my princess’s first movements. The biggest joy that would instantly turn me into weeping willow was the ultrasound scans. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that another human being, who I created, was being formed into a whole person inside of me. Mr. Frankie didn’t count or fit into the picture at all. The sex was forced upon me. I knew the pregnancy was meant to be, because if it weren’t for me being with child, I wouldn’t be here today.

  The upsetting and crazy thing about all of it was Mr. Frankie tried to beat her out of me when he learned of my pregnancy. God in heaven knows I tried desperately to conceal it with the help of Ms. Jeanette. All I wanted and yearned for was for someone to love and look at me the way that I loved and cherished Ms. Jeanette. She was the best thing that happened to me, and I would forever treasure the bond that we had. Ms. Jeanette was the mom I never had. She even sacrificed her own life, which was the real reason, outside of me being with child at that time, that I was here.

  Mr. Frankie terminated my first pregnancy via the bottom of his “Autumn Leaf” Timberlands, size eleven and a half. He used his Timberlands like a real weapon of malice and unbridled rage, smashing the heel down onto my flesh until nothing remotely close to a fetus remained inside of me. Reflecting on the previous twelve months of my life still pained me as if it happened yesterday. The more that I thought about it, it stung as if it took place earlier that day. Especially the day I was removed from Mr. Frankie’s prison.

  “Do you think I’m fucking retarded, Nakita?” Mr. Frankie snarled as his long arm and closed fist extended, nearing me at an alarming rate and cushioned between my waist and my misshaped rib cage.

  I saw it coming, but it caught me off guard. I felt his balled-up fist make contact with my muscle, smashing my internal organs together like a rogue freight train. My breath instantly left me for dead as I doubled over. My knees buckled from the force of the blow. I went down. I swore I heard a cracking noise ricochet between my ribs. Fire ran through every fiber of my abdomen, and I tasted bile, adrenaline, and a hint of blood.

  “Frankie stop, you’re going to kill her!” Ms. Jeanette pleaded, making tracks toward us, toting in hand the knife she used for trimming meat.

  Through blurred vision, it looked as if Ms. Jeanette slammed her fist against him until I saw her holding on to it, half embedded just below his collarbone. The more he came at her, the more she continued to swing and stab him. She transferred responsibility to the knife and continued to cut him.

  “You no-good bitch, I am going to kill you,” Mr. Frankie barked as he managed to slide his hands around Ms. Jeanette’s throat.

  As I lay helplessly on the floor in fear with my hand across my abdomen, I could feel blood trickling down my legs.

  Mr. Frankie tightened his grip as Ms. Jeanette started to scramble to get ahold of any leverage she could to pry his large, muscular hands from her throat. He began to laugh aloud like a maniac as Ms. Jeanette choked and sputtered. I could see that she was being deprived of oxygen for several long, excruciating minutes before her eyelids slowly closed and mine followed suit.

  When I finally came to, I was lying in a hospital bed. I learned that Mr. Frankie had taken my beloved Ms. Jeanette Adrianna Dawson’s life and she called 911 prior to coming to my rescue. I just wished things turned out differently and Mr. Frankie were six feet under. However, he had taken up permanent residence at Sullivan Correctional Facility for murder and my attempted murder. One of the nurses at my bedside informed me that Ms. Jeanette did a number with that knife and assured me that he would no longer be able to use his manhood to hurt anyone ever again or see out of his right eye. I just prayed that someone in that prison was stripping him of his manhood and ability to see period.

  I was always someone who craved love and attention. That is not to say that I accepted love willingly. It was quite the opposite, in fact. If someone decided to like or even love me, they would have to get through a path of obstacles, which Ms. Jeanette drop-kicked down. In school, I stayed in detention or suspended because I hit without reason. I fought out my frustrations, especially with anyone who tried to get close to me or Shakita. Then there’s the thing Ms. Nancy diagnosed me with: misophonia. She had worked with me for a month straight to deal with it. Every little sound annoyed my soul, such as loud chewing, gurgling, and slurping. I would go into a fit of rage and pound on someone because of it.

  When I said Ms. Nancy worked with me to deal with it, I should have said she drove me insane to the point where I wanted to choke the life out of that old lady. She kept me in a room with her for two hours straight, three times a week for a month and would chomp and slurp while my hands were restrained to a chair. I thought I now had PTSD when I heard anyone doing any of those things, because I could literally see Ms. Nancy sitting in front of me with this crazed look on her face, smacking and slurping on everything. Let’s just say I had been healed of misophonia thanks to Ms. Nancy annoying the hell out of me.

  Being that I was much calmer now and none of those things sent me into overdrive any longer, Candice had a hard time digesting the many stories I’d shared with her about the crazed maniac I once was. Shakita would laugh when I’d go into my fits of rage. She said I was acting out her hidden truths and that was what twins were for. I missed her so much and vowed to never allow another female to get close to me. I just knew I would end up losing her as well. I was bad luck.

  Everyone I’d ever cared about was dead. That was why I was going to protect Adrianna with every fiber of my being. With all my hang-ups and internal defensive lineman drills, I didn’t know what it was about Candice, but she slithered her way into my heart. However, on the contrary, we had been bumping heads lately because she was trying to get entirely too close to Adrianna. I was one hurdle, but my baby was a whole different story, and I was her mother. I didn’t need anyone playing house with my child.

  Ms. Nancy didn’t have a problem with me being the only one I wanted to change Adrianna’s diaper. She said she understood. Not Candice, but I was to blame for that. I had allowed her to get too comfortable. A heart-to-heart needed to be had. Don’t get me wrong, she had grown to be the sister I and Shakita had never had. If Shakita had been there, we’d have been triplets. Candice just needed to learn boundaries.

  “Hey, Nakita, where’s my little princess? I couldn’t wait to get back to see her. Oh, and you of cou
rse,” she snickered.

  “Yeah, about that . . .”

  “Oh, my goodness, is Adrianna all right?”

  “Yes, please calm down, Candice. You don’t need to get your pregnant belly all worked up. We want nothing but healthy deliveries around here. God in heaven knows none of us can handle any more heartache.”

  “You’re right. What’s up?” She made herself comfortable, plopping down on my bed, which for the first time annoyed my entire soul.

  Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and shot, “Adrianna is my baby. You have one on the way. I don’t like that every time I turn around you’re trying to do something to or for her. You will get your turn. You need to allow me to be her mother and give her everything that she needs. I wouldn’t take that away from you, so I’d like the same consideration in return.”

  “I would never do anything to hurt her or try to take your place, Nakita. Why would you ever think something like that?”

  “One: you could never take my place in her life if you tried.”

  “Why are you being so defensive? What have I done for you to act this cold toward me?”

  “Stop whining, Candice. You’re about to be a mom.”

  “You really hurt my feelings, Nakita. I never expected you to change on me like this.”

  “How am I changing when I am looking out for the best interest of my child?”

  “The best interest of your child? You act as if I am a stranger all of a sudden.”

  “Well, technically you are. I’ve only known you for about a minute and a half.”

  Without uttering a word in response, Candice bolted out of the room.

  “Candice, calm down. I just needed to clear the air!” I yelled, out of breath, running behind her.

  As I was gaining on her, she became even more hysterical. “Leave me alone,” she shot back as her foot caught under the long brown rug covering the hallway floor. Without notice, she began to plummet toward the landing of the staircase, tumbling down the steps, bashing her entire body.

  “Oh, my God, Candice. I am sorry.”

  Chapter Ten

  Lessons: Life on Your Terms

  Candice

  I was in a cloud with heaviness throughout my body. It was so heavy that I could not move. I couldn’t even remember how to open my eyes. What was wrong with me? I could hear the buzzing sounds from machines along with clicking feet near me. There was also some quiet talking going on as I lay there straining to make sense of it all. I was afraid. I had no idea where I was, or why. Wait, what was that? I could feel some light shining on my closed eyes as I struggled to open them.

  “Ms. Brown? Ms. Candice Brown?”

  No words came out as I squeezed my eyes tightly, trying to blink. Tears saturated my face as my eyes opened to try to find some sort of familiarity. I was in a bright white room. Did I die? Oh, my God, where am I? Is that God? Someone was bending over me.

  “Ms. Brown?” the voice summoned.

  I tried to remember how to talk. No words came out, and God was calling me. As I blinked hard, he called me again. “Ms. Brown? Candice?”

  Suddenly I cleared my throat. I thought I was about to shout, but all that emerged from my dry lips was a tiny whisper. “What happened? When did I get here? Are you God?”

  A chuckle escaped his bow-like lips, and he was joined in laughter by a woman. Was that an angel without wings?

  “I am Dr. Soto, Candice. You’ve been admitted to Windham Hospital due to the fall that you took yesterday afternoon.”

  “Fall? So I didn’t die?”

  “No, you’re alive and ticking. Do you remember falling?”

  Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I began to feel the heaviness leave my body and replace itself with aches and pains. As I rubbed my hand over my frame, tears returned the moment I touched my belly, now eight and a half months pregnant. At that moment, my memory returned instantly and flooded me all at once.

  “Is . . . my baby all right? How long have I been here?”

  “Yes, the both of you are great. You suffered a minor concussion from the fall, but you’re fine. You’ve been here for about nine hours or so, to be exact. We are going to keep you a little longer for observation.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Soto.”

  Looking around the hospital room, you’d think I’d been there for months with all the flowers and balloons adorning the small room. There were so many of them, and of course, I was starting to tear up again. They were beautiful.

  “Candice, I am so sorry I upset you,” Nakita expressed, entering the room and pulling me from my thoughts.

  “It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. Me and my clumsy self fell. You know what was weird?”

  “No, what?”

  “I didn’t even know where I was or what happened to me for a moment. I thought I actually died.”

  It was pretty crazy and scary for me, and because of it, I had realized that I didn’t want to die. I hungered after whatever it was that was needed to be done in order for my baby to have a better life than what I was afforded. Nakita and I shared matching concerns and vowed to fight for our and our children’s safety.

  * * *

  After my release from the hospital, things between Nakita and me changed drastically. Our bond was so much tighter. We made a vow to never leave our babies alone unless it was with each other, notably a result of yet another failed attempt at escaping Hope House. It had been the perfect plan and way out. I didn’t think I nor Nakita could have been any happier about it. Tracy, Samantha, and Judith were eager and anxious about the plan as well. Much to all of our surprise, it would blow up in our faces without notice.

  Shortly after being informed that I was going to be released from the hospital, Officer Greg paid me a visit. Without question, I broke out in a sweat from the sight of him. I hadn’t known the man and had only one encounter with him. It made a lasting impression, and it only took that one time for me develop an uneasiness from his presence.

  “Why are you here?” I grabbed the pillow speaker. “Please don’t touch me. I will scream at the top of my lungs and press this button for a nurse to come.” I shuddered.

  “Please, that is not necessary. I am nothing like them. Please believe me,” he whispered.

  Sweat stung my eyes the more he spoke. From the onset, I battled believing and digesting the words that departed from his lips. Officer Greg insisted he hadn’t a clue as to what was taking place at Hope House. In fact, he said he was taken aback when Nakita confessed what Paul and Anthony were doing to us, because he thought they were gay.

  Officer Greg stood about five feet nine and was slim with cinnamon skin, full lips, and deep, dark eyes. I wouldn’t say he was model gorgeous, but he was sexy in his own way. For many, especially police officers, being gay was seen as unnatural. Homophobia was rife. When Officer Greg joined the force, he immediately came out to his senior officers after bearing witness to the mistreatment of gay men and hearing the words “queer” or “fag” used daily. In turn, he was transferred to his current police department as a result of his superintendent’s concerns of victimization due to his sexual orientation.

  Upon arrival, Officer Greg was partnered up with Paul. After a night out of drinking Jack Daniel’s, also known as truth serum, he took his chances once again and came out to Paul. Paul greeted him with open arms and invited Anthony to join them at another more private and quaint location. Their first encounter turned into a seven-month ongoing three-man relationship. He actually fell in love with both Anthony and Paul. Greg said the both of them balanced him out in their own way.

  Feeling used, betrayed, and hurt, Officer Greg didn’t feel comfortable with everything that transpired. Being a victim and survivor of sexual abuse, Nakita’s confession gnawed at him to the point that he’d been having trouble sleeping. Things he thought he’d overcame resurfaced, altering his moods and demeanor to the point that Paul and Anthony picked up on it. Greg opened up to them when Anthony confronted him about the sudden change i
n his attitude, and Anthony lost it. He threatened Officer Greg’s life if he were to repeat anything, considering it was all a lie. He said the girls made it all up because they were defiant and known runaways. Greg could feel Nakita’s pain when she spoke, and he recognized the fear gazing at him through Candice’s eyes. Nothing Anthony said would alter how he felt. He ended everything with Paul and Anthony and expressed his plans to request for a transfer. Officer Greg wanted to get as far away from Paul and Anthony as he possibly could. He wanted nothing to do with either of them any longer.

  Because of his restless spirit, Officer Greg knew he had to do something. Learning of Candice’s trip to the hospital, he took his chances to go and pay her a visit in hopes to do whatever he could to assist the girls in getting as far away from Hope House as he possibly could.

  “So, you want to help us?”

  “Yes, I can help you. I have a cabin that my parents left me in Clinton. I don’t have all the answers just yet. Right now, we just need to get you two out of there, and we can work out the rest later.”

  “It isn’t just the two of us.”

  “Of course, the baby. I am aware of that.”

  “No, there’s three other girls: Samantha, Judith, and Tracy.”

  “I had no idea. It doesn’t matter. I will rent a van, and in two days, let’s say around two a.m., just come outside. Pack light. I want you girls to be able to jump in and we get out of sight quickly.”

  “There’s an empty house a couple of doors down from Hope House. We can meet you there.” My heart skipped several beats.

  Everything went according to plan. Well, almost. It took some convincing for Samantha, Judith, and Tracy, but they eventually came around. Nakita was on board as soon as I mentioned everything to her. We had our plan in place, and our bags were hidden beneath the porch of the vacant house down from Hope House. However, on the evening of our break for it, Ms. Nancy was on the other side of the door when we opened it to leave.