Stay Beautiful

by Perry Matlin

  Michael stands there before me, we're both silent as the harsh lyrics fill the room around us. I'm not much of a rap fan, but I'm not even worried about that right now. I look at him, as he reaches down, and grabs ahold of my hand.

  "Lucas, I really liked kissing you, and I could tell you liked it too. I want to keep kissing you, so would you want to..." he says, but I interrupt him.

  "Yes, oh my god yes" I say, trying to keep the squeal undercover. I guess I failed at that because he starts laughing at me. I just stand there, blushing; looking down at his hand that is still holding mine. That's when he pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. I look at him, and this time, we just stand there, slowly swaying out of tune to the music, before he kisses me.

  He presses his lips to mine, and I release his hand, just so I can wrap my arms around his neck. I feel his lips pull up into a smile, before we fall back onto his bed. Michael crawls on top of me and begins to kiss me much more intensely. This is something I've never done. Max and I kissed, and we almost did more, but we never felt so provocative. Max was always too busy with his Star Wars, or his games. I pull away from him, breathless from all the kissing, we stare into each other's eyes. His dark blue eyes are like cool water on the hottest day of time. His smile as he leans back in to kiss me is brighter than the brightest star, and his lips. His lips taste better than the most satisfying the most delicious drink of water anyone has ever tasted in the history of existence. I could kiss Michael forever, and be the happiest person ever. I could kiss my boyfriend forever. I smile at the thought of him being my boyfriend.

  Chapter 8

  Emotion

  I turn over onto my stomach, and dejectedly flop my head back on the pillow. Michael had some things to do with his family today, so I'm just lying here; trying not to die of boredom. I try once again to pick up the book I was attempting to read earlier. Opening to the dog-eared page, I begin to read the lines before me. Losing myself in a book has always been my thing. I've always been able to drop all worries, all the drama, and just read until my eyes are so tired, and irritated. I've always been able to escape my life and find solace in the pages of a good book, until today. Today, I cannot concentrate on anything, except for Michael. His lips, his eyes, and his voice. Oh my God, his voice drives me up the wall. I've never felt like this about anyone before. Max didn't even hold my concentration like this, and I thought I'd never find someone better than him.

  Giving up yet again, I toss the book to the side of my bed, and just roll over onto my back, and throw a pillow over my head. Maybe, I can help this day pass by falling asleep for most of it. It's times like these, that I wish I were still talking to Coral and Christine. If they weren't so intent on being backstabbers, then maybe I would have something to do on this random, boring summer day. I reach over and hit play on the stereo. Loud music spills from the speakers and begins to surround me in an envelope of noise. Deciding that it's impossible to fall asleep, I sit up, and look around my room. I'm sitting on the edge of my full-sized bed in the left corner of my room. The closet door is parallel with the wall that I'm leaning against. The doors are open slightly, but there is no light to illuminate the contents.

  I look to the other side of the room. In the corner to my right is a little stand, where my TV sits. On the wall across from my bed, a large mirror from the landlord still hangs, reflecting the room back to me. I'm just about to pick my book up one last time, when my phone begins to ring. I look down and see with a smile the size of the universe, that Michael is calling me.

  "Hey babe" he says, when I pick up the phone. His voice does so much to make my mood turn completely around. I feel the butterflies in my stomach.

  "Hey there" I say, my voice coming out slightly higher than usual because I'm so happy that he finally called me. It’s made my entire day better.

  "You want to come over?" he asks me, and I smile, before answering into the phone.

  "Yea, when do you want me to come?" I ask him, and he pauses for a second. For some reason, he seems off. Maybe his mom and dad are fighting again.

  "Whenever you want. I just got home, and I'm home alone" he answers, and I hear the way his voice lifts with a smile at the words home alone. I mentally picture us making out on his couch, or even his bed. This could be really fun.

  "I'll be right over" I tell him, before hanging up the phone. I jump to my feet and run to my closet. Quickly going through my clothes, I find my favorite pair of jeans, and my dark blue shirt that I love to wear. Running to the shower, I quickly strip my clothes off, and hop under the hot water cascading down around me. I quickly wash my hair, and my body, before immediately turning the water off, and climbing hurriedly onto the shower mat. I dress quicker than ever before, and then I'm off. I almost run to his house.

  I skid to a halt, when I find myself at his door. I give a single knock, before he rips the door open with a smile on his perfect face. He pulls me by the hand, and right down the hall to his room, when I step inside. I'm laughing, as he pushes me down on his bed, where he promptly crawls on top of me. I look up into his eyes, and he smiles down at me, as he leans in for another kiss. I close my eyes to savor the moment between us. We've been dating for nearly a month now, and I've never felt anything so strong, so true before. Michael pulls away and jumps to his feet. I stare after him, as he heads over to the TV, and turns it off. That's strange to see because I don't think I've ever seen the TV off before. He drops the remote on the little couch he has and turns back to me. I watch as Michael crosses the room again and meets me on the edge of his bed.

  I lean up to grab ahold of his shirt and pull him down onto me. He stays there, hovering over me by a mere inch, as he trails kisses along my face. I can feel his body against me, as he continues to kiss me. I hadn't even thought about this, when I came over here. Am I ready to actually go there with him? I'm only fourteen years old. Is that a reasonable age? I realize then in that moment that Michael is here, and I love him, and I'm willing, and that's all that matters. I become much more into the situation after the battle in my head is gone. I roll onto my back completely, and allow Michael to press his body to mine, as he crawls on top of me completely. The room is completely silent, and all I can hear is the sound of our lips together, and the sound of his heartbeat. It's racing faster and faster by the second. The thought of me making someone's heart race, causes me to become giddy.

  I feel that he may be too nervous to actually go any further, but I want to show him that I'm ready, so I push him up slightly, so he is hovering over me again. I reach up, and pull his shirt off of him, before pulling him back down to kiss me. He seems to realize what I'm doing because he laughs nervously, before reaching down to unbutton his shorts. Michael moves off of me, and goes to take his shorts off, but I put my hand up to stop him. I see his face fall slightly, when I make him stop getting undressed. Little does he know I'm just trying to do the undressing here. I push him back, and then crawl on top of him this time. He looks up at me, as I reach down to pull his shorts off. He lifts his body up to allow me to pull them off. I crawl on top of him and begin to kiss him more fervently now. He's wearing nothing but his boxers, so it's a lot more real for me now.

  We break apart, and he crawls on top of me once more. This time, he is pulling off my clothes. I smile, as he begins to kiss my neck again. It feels so nice to be with him.

  I look into his eyes, one more time, as he looks down at me, before he goes to lower himself on top of me. The door opens at that moment, and he actually throws me off the side of the bed and throws the blankets over himself.

  "Michael, I'm home, but I'm going to Kayla's for a few hours. Have you seen my CD case?" Stephen asks, as I try to stay out of sight.

  "I think it's in the computer room. Lock the front door, when you go" he says, making his voice sound sleepy.

  "Okay, just listen for me to knock to get back in" he commands, and Michael shouts back his agreement. Stephen closes the door, and Michael rolls over to look at me.

 
I wait another few minutes, and then crawl back onto the bed, and he holds me for a few minutes.

  "I love you" he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. Those words do everything to restore the mood.

  "I love you too" I reply, before leaning over to kiss him again. He rolls on top of me, and we repeat the process. He begins to kiss me once more, and this time there are no interruptions. He hovers over me, this time nobody comes through the door.

  Michael collapses on the bed beside me, and rolls onto his side to look at me. I look into his eyes, as he pulls me into his arms. We lie there for a few minutes, just cherishing the moment in his arms. It's so nice. I feel more relaxed than ever before. I can't believe that I just lost my virginity. I stretch my neck to give him another kiss, and it seems to ignite a fire within him because he crawls back on top of me, and we begin the process again.

  "Are you okay?" he asks, as we walk down the empty street together. I look over at him, and realize that through the darkness, nobody can see us. We're walking down to the bay inlet a couple blocks away from our street. There aren't any houses this far down, and it's dark. He reaches over and grabs ahold of my hand. I watch as we walk, and our hands swing together.

  We arrive at the inlet, and I see the row of rocks that sits on the edge of the water. I climb on to the pile, and then turn around to reach for his hand. I help pull him onto the rocks, and we both carefully maneuver our way down the line. When we finally get to my secret place I jump down, and crawl into my little safe haven. Before I had someone to talk to, I'd come here to get away from Antonio, when he was freaking out at my mom. It's a hidden little cave sort of thing at the edge of the rocks. It's under the edge of the dock, and part of the rock pile. A small cave formed by man. It's only about eight feet tall, and a circumference of maybe ten feet. Michael looks around, as he comes into the cave. I head over to the lanterns that I've brought in here before and turn both of them on. He crosses the cave, and kisses me softly, before helping me lower myself to the ground, where he ends up on top of me again. A smile playing at my lips the entire time we lie there together. The smell of the salt water, the sound of the birds, and the warmth of his body all around me. The emotion in his kisses palpable.

  Chapter 9 Hesitation

  I open my eyes. The room is quiet around me, and I feel so weird to be alone. Michael has been staying the night with me almost every night, since we took that step the other day. Last night was the first night I had to sleep by myself. I roll over and look at the empty stretch of bed beside me. It's hard to believe that a month ago, I was so different. I had never slept in a bed with someone else, I had never been intimate with anyone. I feel as though I've grown so much over this month, and it's weird because when my family comes back, how will they react to my change? I briefly think of a world, where I could tell them what has changed, but that'd never work. I close my eyes, just picturing Michael coming with me to my dad's house, or to church with me on Wednesday nights. It brings a smile to my face. I finally decide to sit up and begin my day.

  I crawl out of bed and walk over to my closet. I begin to fumble through all my clothes, trying to find something, anything decent to wear for the day. I finally find something that isn't completely terrible. Hurrying from my room, I quickly start the shower, and jump in under the steaming rays of heated water. I quickly wash my body, before realizing that I have nowhere to be, so I slow down my pace. I let the water race over me, and I just stand there savoring every moment of it. Michael never leaves my mind. He means so much to me, and even though I thought Max would be my first love, and my true love; Michael has surpassed him on every level. Looking back, my relationship with Max was an immature relationship at best. We were never going to make it in the world as a couple. He was a friend to me, when I was eleven. It means something different. We never even broached the subject of sex.

  I turn the water off, and go to step out of the shower, when my phone goes off. I hurriedly wrap the towel around my dripping body, and head over to my phone. I look down and see with ecstasy that Michael wants to hang out later. I almost jump with joy right there. I quickly reply to him, before turning back to the mirror. I reach up and wipe it clean of the steam from the shower. I begin to get ready for the day. Everything is going much slower than usual because for some reason, I'm not really feeling all that well today. After brushing my teeth, and my hair; I throw my clothes on, and turn away from the mirror. I smile to myself, as I walk out of the bathroom, my phone gripped in my hand. Michael said to meet him down at the bay, in an hour, so I have about thirty minutes left now. I run to the kitchen and grab the stuff to make a sandwich.

  I quickly make myself a sandwich and go to my table to sit down. I look out the window, as I take the first bite. I'm just about to take a second bite, when my phone lights up. I look down, and my heart skips a beat. I have a text from Max.

  "Hey, Luke. Just wanted to see how you're doing. Miss you" the text says, but I just instantly delete it, and turn back to my sandwich. He is the last person that I want to talk to right now. He literally let his girlfriend talk to me the way she did. He made it sound like I was a stalker or something.

  I take another bite of my sandwich, and then another. After a few minutes; Max leaves my mind again, and I am full force back to thinking about Michael. When I finally finish my food, I get up to take my plate to the sink.

  My phone goes off at that moment, and I look down to see a phone call from my mom. I sigh, rolling my eyes as I answer the phone. I really don't have time for this right now.

  "Hey mom, what's up?" I ask her, as the noise from the background fills my ears. She pauses for a moment, before answering.

  "Hey Lucas, I just wanted to check on you. What are you doing today?" she asks, and I scramble to think of something. I decide to tell her a half truth about my day, so she doesn't get suspicious.

  "I'm going to the beach with Coral’s family. We're going to enter a sand castle contest" I say, knowing that I'm actually going to the bay, not the beach.

  "I don't want you going swimming, do you hear me? I do not want a call from Florida saying that my son was killed by a shark" she commands, and I smile in spite of myself. She’s such a worry wart.

  "Okay mom. I won't get in the water past my knees. Is that fine?" I say, knowing if I just agree, then she'll know something is up. I always argue with her about swimming at the beach.

  "That boy was attacked in knee deep water last summer. You better not go in the water at all, I'm serious." She says, and I go to argue, but a loud noise comes through the phone. "Luke are you there?" she demands. I roll my eyes irritated.

  "Yes mom. I'm still here, and I won't go in the water, I guess. I guess I'll just sit up on the sand and die of heat exhaustion" I tell her, and she makes a scoffing noise.

  "Okay, well I have to go, we're going to the zoo today. I love you, and I'll be home soon, okay?" she asks me, but I don't even answer her. I just hang the phone up.

  I toss the phone on the counter, as I wash my plate. She always irritates me, when she gets overprotective like that. It's weird that it even bothers me, considering that I'm not actually going to the beach, but I guess it's the principle of it. I finish the dishes, and head into my room to grab a pair of shoes. I choose my flip-flops and hurry out of the house. I'm just about to leave, when I remember the house key. I grab it off the coffee table, before running back out of the house. I lock the door behind me and run down the driveway. Walking over to the mailbox, I open it. It's empty, so I just leave it behind, and make my way down our street. I'm just about at the end of the road, when I hear someone calling my name. I look around and see that it's Miss Margaret. She is an older lady that used to go to my church. I smile at her, before crossing the street to walk up her sloped driveway.

  "Hey Miss Margaret!" I call out, as I arrive just before her. She smiles at me, before leaning in to hug me. The strong smell of coffee, and cigarette smoke fills my nostrils, as she wraps an arm around me.

  "He
llo there Lucas" she says, before pulling away. She greets me with a smile. "Where you headed today?" she asks, and I just point in the direction of the bay. She nods, before using her hand to block out some of the sunlight, and she looks in the direction of my finger.

  "Down to the bay, so I can swim a bit. How are you doing?" I ask her, knowing that she just had a bad experience, with the young guy she let rent a room from her. I heard some of what happened from my mom.

  "I'm doing fine sweetie. Just glad that I finally got Curtis out of here, before he could cause any more damage to my house" she explains. I nod understandingly. He apparently destroyed some of her stuff, when he got mad one day.

  "Well, you have a great day, and here..." she says, reaching in her purse. She pulls out a ten-dollar bill, and hands it to me. I look at her questioningly. "Get yourself some lunch and have a great day baby" she tells me. I smile at her, before leaning in for another hug. She waves me off at that moment, and I look back, as she disappears inside her house. I turn away and begin to walk to the bay once more. I look down at my phone and see that I have about eight minutes to get down there, which is about what it takes anyway. I turn off my road, and hurry down the street that leads to the bay. I think back to Margaret giving me the money. That was very kind of her, which is actually very typical of her. She is one of the nicest people that I've ever met. I smile at the thought of her. That's when I turn down the road of the bay and see the water for the first time.