Stay Beautiful

by Perry Matlin

  "I know babe, just think of all the things I could do to you" he jokes, causing me to blush. I smile though.

  Another round of screaming ignites, as I listen to Michael playing his video game. I try to drown out the hateful words, the accusations, and the smashing of glass.

  "You pervert. I cannot believe you" I say, laughing in spite of my growing anxiety. I hate when the fights get this bad because, then he gets worse.

  "You know you like it" he says, just as my mom passes my door, her voice thick with sobs. His sentence is lost to me, as I cringe from the noise.

  "Is it getting pretty bad today?" he continues, when I don't say anything. I jump back to reality and think of what to say.

  "Yeah, he's breaking stuff now, and she's crying uncontrollably. I hate this so much. I just wish he would disappear, and never come back honestly" I tell him, as Antonio’s voice grows louder.

  "You ugly whore, I'm going to beat your ass" he screams, just outside my door. I jump to my feet and walk to the door. I hear him hit the wall and scream something at the top of his lungs again, before I open my door. The hallway is clear, he's moved into the living room along with my mother. I watch out for glass, as I come down the hall, where I come to a stop. Antonio is right in my mom's face, and he is screaming at her. She tries to look down, and he grabs her by the chin, and forces her to look in his eyes. I can’t stand by anymore.

  "Antonio. Stop talking to my mom like that" I say. My insides squirm timidly, but my voice rings loud and clear. He turns his head, and looks directly at me, before straightening up.

  "Luke what are you doing? Don't antagonize him" Michael says, as the phone is still pressed to my ear. I slide the phone into my pocket, not even bothering to hang up.

  "Shut the hell up, boy" he says, his face contorting in an ugly expression. In that moment I have to fight back a laugh because he looks so strikingly like a pig.

  "You're not gonna talk to me like that either Antonio. I will not be bullied by you" I say, my voice still strong. He turns away from my mom, and takes a step toward me, his hand raised. He's a full-grown man, and I'm fourteen, so I take off running.

  "I'm gonna beat your ass little boy" he screams after me, as I make it to my room. I bolt the door behind me, pushing a crutch under the door handle for extra safety. I hear him beating on the door, but he's not even stupid enough to break it down. I cross the room, as soon as he stops banging on the door, and sink onto my bed. It's a moment before I remember Michael is on the phone.

  "I'm sorry babe. I forgot you were on the phone. How's your game?" I ask, breathless from the adrenaline of the moment. He snorts, before answering.

  "Are you okay? What the hell is his problem?" he demands, outraged by the name calling. I just shake my head, tears forming at the corner of my eyes.

  "I'm fine. He's always like that. It's really nothing" I say, trying to brush it off but I can even hear the tremble in my voice. I roll my eyes, as if it will change my own feelings.

  "Are you sure? That sounded really bad, like worse than anything I ever deal with, with my dad" he says, and I can feel the conversation turning. I don't want to break down, so I think quickly... Then a thought strikes me. An idea that could save me.

  "I'm actually going to call my Nana, and talk to her for a bit, but I love you. I can't wait to kiss you soon" I say, trying to sound like my normal self again, so he won't try to stay on the phone with me.

  "Okay, well... I love you too. I hope everything gets better today" he says, and I hang up the phone. Throwing it onto my bed, I look around my room. I have to get out of here. I jump to my feet, slipping on a pair of pants and some shoes. One last sweep through, and I open my window. The rain is lightly falling, as I crawl out of my room. I can still hear the distant screaming of my mom, and him from the other side of the house. I look around the yard, just wondering where to go from here, then I just take off running to the back fence. Like I used to do.

  It feels like an eternity ago that I used to come here all the time. Like another life. I remember all the details as clear as day, but it feels as though I'm watching through someone else's life. I need to see him. I know he's nowhere near, and I shouldn't want to see him because I have Michael, but I do. I want to see him, more than anything right now I want to see Josh.

  I look back one last time, before climbing the fence, and dropping down into Josh's back yard. I look around and see how empty everything looks now. He's gone and everything that used to represent him is gone. Everything is so empty. I cross the yard and sit on one of his chairs. The seat is wet, but I don't care. I sit there, the raindrops gathering in my hair. It's weird. This is his house, or it looks like it, but without him here, it seems more like a pale imitation of the house I spent so much time in this summer. I think of Michael, and of Antonio, and then out of nowhere, a voice calls to me.

  "Are you Lucas?" she calls, as I turn to face a pretty girl with black hair, hanging over the fence. Where did she come from? I think, as I turn to walk in her direction.

  Chapter 19 Introduction

  "Are you Lucas?" I turn around, my heart racing, as the girl comes into view. I pause in Josh's yard, the rain falling down the whole time. I cross the flooded expanse, not answering, as I approach her. The girl has black hair, and a pretty face. I come to a stop at the foot of the fence, as the rain continues to soak me.

  "Yeah, who are you?" I ask, sounding rude even in my own ears. She smiles at me, before rolling her eyes. I half expect her to leave me alone in the rain, but she stays there, her black hair plastered to her face, as she continues to stare at me. I turn back, looking at the distant roof of my house, as we stand there in the rain.

  "Vicky, so what are you doing at Josh's anyway?" she says, a small smile forming. I freeze at the sound of his name. How does she know him? How could she?

  "How do you know Josh?" I demand, stepping closer. She laughs, before tilting her head to one side. I peer into her blue eyes, as she stares me down.

  "He didn't tell you about me?" she asks, her eyes widening with shock, I shake my head, and she rolls her eyes again.

  "Figures, you guys probably didn't do much talking, but I'm his best friend. I cannot believe him right now" she says, before finally hopping over the fence. She lands gracefully in front of me, and I take in her full appearance. At that moment the rain stops, and I can see clearly. She is taller than me, by a few inches. Her skin is pale, and her hair is long. A jet-black color, still soaked, sticking to her face.

  "No, he, uh- never mentioned it, but we didn't usually talk about other people" I tell her, and she laughs loudly. She’s infectious.

  A new round of screaming, and obscenities flies through the air, causing the both of us to turn our heads. I can hear Antonio’s voice ringing loudly through the air. Vicky looks back to me and smiles sadly. I shuffle my feet awkwardly.

  "Parents fighting again?" she asks, and I look at her, mortified. How does she know? Did he tell her? The feeling of betrayal begins to sink in, before she answers my unspoken question.

  "They're pretty loud, and I overhear it sometimes. He said you lived right behind him, and that's where the yells come from" she explains. I nod, feeling the hurt wash away immediately.

  "You, uh- wanna come inside for a bit? I'll dry your clothes" she offers, and I think about it. Go back to my house with him, or make a new friend? I smile, before taking another step toward her.

  "Yeah, that sounds great. What did you have in mind?" I ask her, and she just shrugs. Then she turns around to hop back over the fence. I follow after and leap out of Josh's yard. We land in the wet grass, in the back of a small yard. I look around and take in the image before me. There is an old rusty swing set in the far right of the yard. It appears to have been abandoned. In the middle of the yard is a pool. An in-ground pool. I almost leap with excitement. We walk up on a porch, filled with lawn furniture, and she leads me right through the back door. I find myself in a small kitchen, the smell of food wafts through the air. Vicky l
eads me down a hall, where she enters a room. As soon as we're inside, she closes the door behind us. I turn to look around the room and see a dark scene before me. The walls are a deep burgundy color, with large black satin curtains covering nearly a fourth of the wall.

  Posters, and cut-out pictures are strewn everywhere along the dark room. Dozens of pictures of different bands glare down at me. A wall with several shelves holds album after album, it's like the best room I've ever been in. I look around again, but she signals for me to sit on the bed. I cross the room and sink onto the foot of her bed. Vicky looks at me, before she presses play on her stereo. Loud music blares from the speakers. I listen to the music, just taking in the normalcy of it all. The song is catchy, not exactly my type of music, but not a bad song. I'm pulled from my stupor, when she talks to me over the boom of the lyrics.

  "Take your shirt and pants off, and I'll bring you some of the clothes I have of his" she offers, and I follow suit without thinking about it. I toss her my clothes, and she leaves me alone.

  I get to my feet, and cross over to her albums. I begin to thumb through the CD's, looking for anything that I'm familiar with. I come across Evanescence. A band that Coral introduced me to. I reach down for my phone but realize then that I left it at home. The door opens, and an older woman comes in.

  "Victoria, I made some..." she trails off, when she lays eyes on my standing there in my boxers. She looks at me, and snarls. Then she sways on the spot. "Victoria Amanda Grannit" she screams, and I jump. She goes to leave the room, and I hear her screaming all the way down the hall.

  "You think it's okay for you to just bring random boys home, and leave them undressed in your room, you little whore?" she yells, and Vicky comes back down the hall. In full-on defense mode.

  "Mom he's gay, and you need to back off. You have no right to call me names, I don't care how drunk you are" she screams back, and I see her fly through the door. She has my still wet clothes, and she looks completely flustered. I mouth I'm sorry to her, and she just tosses me my clothes.

  "I'm sorry, but she gets in these moods every now and then when she gets drunk. I'm sorry" she tells me again, before leading me out of the house. "Look she's hardly ever like this, and when she calms down, I'd love to invite you back over" she explains. I soothe her once more, before walking away.

  I leave her at her back door, and head back over the fence. I look back one last time, and see her smiling at me, as I drop back into Josh's yard. I leave his house behind, and trek back to the fence, and drop into my back yard. I sullenly head to my open window, and crawl back through it. The screaming is still in full force, so I head right over to my closet, and change into clean clothes. I drop onto my bed and lay down. Closing my eyes, I smile, as I think of the new friend I made today. The introduction means a lot to me. I really hope she's okay now. Her mom seemed really mad. I close my eyes and fall asleep nearly immediately; the sound of the harsh words drowned out by my onslaught of dreams.

  Chapter 20 Invitation

  I turn to my fading radio, as the song ends. I cross the room and remove the disc. It’s been so nice having the music back. Everything is so peaceful right now. Antonio hasn't been home in two days, so naturally my mother has locked herself in the room. Everyone else is gone, so the house is dark and quiet. I smile, as I peer out the window. It's approaching dusk quickly, but I can still see the thick black thunderheads rolling in. It's going to be a great night for me. I have my DVD player hooked up, and a root beer cooling in the freezer. I look at my phone, as I replace the Taylor Swift CD back into its case. I have two texts from Michael, so I check them briefly. I smile again, as my stomach does a flip. I leave my room behind, tiptoeing past my mom's door. I check the temperature of my soda, before slipping out of the front door. It seems so strange to freely walk out of the house, and not to crawl out of the window.

  These last few weeks have been amazing. Michael and I have been back together for two months now, and I've grown closer with Vicky, and her friend Sam. It really is a great little group I have going. Michael even hangs out with us sometimes. I traipse down the driveway, before heading over to Michael's Aunt’s house. He's waiting out front, and I smile at the sight of his gorgeous eyes looking out at me through the twilight enveloping us with every second. He quickly finishes his cigarette, before walking over to me. He leans in for a kiss, causing me to scrunch my nose from the smell of the smoke. I kiss him back, ignoring the awful taste that lingers. He pulls away, before grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. I smile after him, as he leaves me in the living room, and heads to the bathroom. When he comes back the smell of smoke is gone, and his mouth is minty fresh. I kiss him gratefully.

  "Where is everyone?" I wonder aloud, as we stand alone in his small living room. I think back to when he lived here, and I would come over to play video games with him. He smiles, before pulling me into his arms. I let him kiss me gently on the neck, before he pushes me on the couch. He crawls onto the cushion with me, before eventually settling into a sitting position. He reaches over for the remote, and hits play. I look at the screen, noticing immediately he has my favorite movie paused right now. I turn to him, and peer into his beautifully ocean blue eyes, as he focuses on the movie. I smile.

  "I love you so much, you know that Michael?" I ask him, causing him to look sideways at me. He smiles back, before reaching up to kiss me. It's a sweet moment. One I'll never forget. One that will stay with me forever.

  "I love you too babe" he replies, after breaking the kiss. I peer into his deep blue eyes, and realize how lucky I am. In that moment, I'm ready. I've been holding off sleeping with him again, fearing it's too early to jump back into something like that, but now I know. I'm ready. I'm ready to share myself with him again, to have nothing between us. To give him all of me. I lean sideways, resting my head on his lap. I voice my thoughts then.

  "Are you sure?" he asks me, excitement flooding his handsome face, as we sit there. I nod my head, before placing my lips against his. I kiss him tenderly, but then he bites my lips slightly, and I like that, so I kiss him harder.

  "I'm always gonna love you Luke" he whispers, breaking the contact. I'm much too excited to stop though, so I force his lips back against mine, and reach down to pull his pants down. They fall to the floor, dangling by one leg, as I move to climb on top of him.

  "I'm always gonna love you too Michael" I say, catching my breath, as he kisses my neck. I feel his fingers exploring the button of my shorts, so I lean back for him to undo them. He pulls them down to rest around my ankles, as he removes my shirt as well. I feel my heart racing, as he plants several kisses down my stomach.

  "Oh my God" he breathes, as I push him backward, and begin to remove his clothes. Soon, we're both down to our underwear, and then he leans back to peer in my eyes, for a handful of seconds. We stay there in that moment.

  Nothing else exists in this moment. We are the only two beings left. We are the only thing existing. Two heartbeats, four eyes, two green, two blue. Two hearts, trying their best to meld into one. It's the most magical moment of my life. He gently lays me back, hovering over me, as the last vestiges of light sink away, leaving us in the unnaturally still phase between afternoon and night. I kiss him tenderly, as he moves above me. I can feel him there, the other half of my soul, the anticipation is heavier than the thickest cloud, the love as solid as ice. Then he begins. I feel his lips against my skin, the heat building between us. I feel his breath, as he takes me to new levels of love. I feel the sweat clinging to both of us, as we move forward, in the midst of ecstasy.

  His breath is rapid, his muscles quivering slightly, as he rolls over to lie beside me on the couch. We lie there, wrapped in each other's arms, as we catch our breath. I lean against his chest, listening to his heartbeat slow, as he runs his fingers through my sweaty hair. I look up to see him staring at the ceiling, so I lift my exhausted body off the couch, and peer down at him. He smiles, before coughing once. He smiles again and leans up to kiss me.

&
nbsp; "I love you so much" I whisper, pulling my head back to look at him again. He laughs softly, before sitting up. I can tell he loves me too, even if he doesn't reply. It's one of those moments that just seems so palpable.

  "Do you wanna go to the festival with me?" he asks, after a few moments of silence. I look at him, unsure what festival he's speaking about. Then I realize it's October. He wants me to go to the seafood festival.

  "Are you serious? That would be super amazing. Are you sure babe?" I ask, hoping he won't change his mind. He scoots over to me, before smiling with those dimples of his. I get butterflies all over again, as he does so. He’s so breathtaking.

  "Yes. I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend it with. You are the most important person in my life of course" he says, making me smile even bigger. How did I get so lucky? I'm just about to say something else, when headlights shine in the window. I jump to my feet, reaching for my clothes.

  "Oh shit! My mom is here" he hisses, grabbing the clothes off the floor. I follow after him, as he runs down the hall. He jumps into the bathroom, bolting the door behind us, and then turning to me. I smile at him, and he smiles back.

  "What are we going to do?" I ask, looking at the door, as I hear the front door close. He shrugs, before moving in close to me. I smile, before letting him grab ahold of me. He kisses me from behind, before spinning me around.

  "Michael, are you in there?" his mom asks, as she approaches the door. I freeze, before remembering the door is locked. I feel Michael tickling up my leg with his fingers. I stifle a giggle, as he shouts that he'll be out in a minute. She goes away, and then he turns right back to me, leaning in to kiss me.

  Thirty minutes later, Michael and I sneak from the bathroom, and directly into Michael's old room. It still looks the same, with a few less things. I look around, as Michael leads me to the door. He opens it, allowing chilly air to roll in. I shiver slightly.