The Bastard

by V. K. Ludwig

  Her eyes gleamed at me. Mission accomplished! Thinking back, she would now see her brave protector instead of crawling little nasties.

  “Hey, dude!” Jared had appeared a few feet away from us. His mouth curled into a smirk. He pointed at Monk, who sat beside him like the well-trained pet he was.

  “Do you mind leashing your dog here?” he asked. “He just made a huge mess in one barn when he tipped a bucket of food scraps. I think he got in on his fur too.”

  Chapter 12

  Yoda

  Ayanna

  The cold breeze whipped my cheeks, but I ignored it and focused on my breath instead. In. Slow. Out. Deep.

  River slouched down onto the rocker. “Not going to happen.”

  My hands rested on my knees, fingers pointing upward. Breathe! Mindfulness wrapped around me like a thick blanket on a stormy night. I let my lungs expand and took in the scents of sour apples and dry piles of leaves. Under rustles and barks, squirrels darted across the forest floor in a fight over acorns and other goodies. Placing my palms in front of my chest, I opened my heart to the sunshine and allowed myself to —

  “I don’t get it. Why him?” The rocker jolted with each toss of his body. “Couldn’t you talk to Rowan about the program? Or Hazel. I’ve got no problems taking you to the clinic so you can meet her.”

  I pushed myself up from my yoga mat. “This is impossible!”

  “What is impossible?”

  “It’s impossible for me to focus on this while you are yapping in the background.” I leaned over, rolled up my mat and put it against the cabin door.

  “I’m not yapping…”

  At the push of his toe, he rocked back and forth, the quilt loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his thumb over his sternum as if he tried to touch an object — invisible to me, but real enough for his fingertips to obsess about it. With each breath he took, his skin pulled tightly around his muscular chest and revealed a fine line of hair just underneath his bellybutton. Like a chaperone, his eyes caught my curious looks. Shame filled me at the rise of his eyebrow, and my ears tingled as if he had told me to go stand in the corner. That was silly, of course. It’s a male body… nothing special about it.

  I stepped in front of him and grabbed my ‘Coffee makes me poop’ mug from the side table next to him. “Check this out. Obviously, Rowan and the council have some sort of political agenda with this. I bet Rowan would love it if I returned back to the Districts, and told them how the guys here can be trusted. How you even introduced me to others instead of hiding me from everyone with a penis between his legs… why are you giggling?”

  “Nothing,” he said. “It’s just that your choice of words is hilarious.”

  “Seriously now? You giggle because I said penis? Do you think because we have evolved to a better way of procreating, we won’t take appropriate body terms into our mouth anymore?” I flung my hands up and shook my head. “How you procreate if you laugh at the word penis is beyond me.”

  Dark brown and mysterious, his eyes gaped at me from his lowered head, fixed on every step I took along the porch rail.

  “Any inappropriate jokes or even a too friendly smile and I’ll snap his pretty neck,” he growled.

  “Good enough for me, “ I said and stepped into the cabin, whistling a little victory tune. I climbed upstairs to the loft, hid the computer underneath my shirt and hurried back down to the bathroom. I double checked that I had locked the door.

  “Argh!” I whimpered into my sleeve.

  “Bloodwork completed,” the kit said, “unable to calculate ovulation at this point.”

  A ball of worry stuck in my throat like a chunky piece of carrot. No matter how hard I swallowed, it wouldn’t go down. The manual I found on our network said my body needed to adjust to the hormonal changes. All good and well. But how long exactly would it take? I had noticed no difference yet. Except perhaps the unexplained heat waves that sometimes overcame me…

  This whole plan seemed to be moving slower than I wanted, which left a bitter taste at the back of my tongue. Ok, calm down! You’ve only been here for a few days. At least River agreed to take me to Adair — a step in the right direction. Dressed in a short sleeve tunic, I stepped outside and grabbed one of my not-so-enhanced water bottles.

  The walk to Adair’s so-called food forest wasn’t all that far, and sure enough, fifteen minutes later he walked up a narrow path to greet us.

  His hair looked even brighter that day, like some sort of gene-edited silver-white, which hung loosely in a knot at the top of his head.

  River regarded him with a stern-faced nod. “Got my message?”

  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. How’s your head doing?” Adair said and pointed at the pastel pink cicatrice. Pale-edged, it ran in small zig-zags from the corner of River’s eye all the way to his ear.

  “Ayanna, meet Adair.”

  He put his most winning smile on and did a quick bow. “I would shake your hand in a decent greeting.” He pointed his thumb at River. “But your guard here is already snorting.”

  I pressed my palm onto my mouth to tame a wide grin, and River’s chest vibrated underneath an incoherent mumble.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Adair. I am glad River brought me here. He said you know about the Newgenics program, and I would like to talk with you about it. Like I told River, I am trying to see where the Districts and the Clan of the Woodlands share similarities.”

  “Yeah, I help out at the lab.” He let his hands slide into his pockets like he did the day I arrived. A simple gesture, but it immediately put me at ease. “Only three days a week though. But I donate too. Not sure if River mentioned it, but I’m popular in the Districts.”

  River huffed. “Yeah, so popular the biceps on his right arms is three times the size of his left one. But he sure is proud of this achievement.”

  My eyes darted back and forth between the two men, and my nose caught a whiff of adrenaline which charged the air like an afternoon thunderstorm.

  “Jealous?” Adair’s eyes narrowed, and he pulled one corner of his mouth up into a sneer.

  The hostility between them turned the breeze around us into a thick cloud of stagnant air which clung to my arm. They wouldn’t fight in front of me, would they? Panic crept up my legs and threatened to turn me into stone. I swayed from one heel to the other and back. With those men hanging at each other's throats, how was I supposed to progress on my plan? I need River out of the way. But how? He would never leave me alone with Adair, unless…

  “You are scaring me.” I wrapped my hands around my body. “I’m not used to this kind of hostility between people. I think I’m getting… ugh, I have to sit down.”

  River ripped his jacket off himself and threw it underneath my butt before it touched the dew dribbled grass.

  “I’m so dizzy.” I flung my head back and pressed a palm onto my forehead.

  “Great.” River rummaged the backpack. “Look what you did. She will pass out because of you.”

  Adair spit on the ground. “Bullshit! You started it. Next time keep your snarky comments to yourself.”

  “Here!” River kneeled down and handed me my water bottle.

  “Can you do me a favor?” I whispered. “Please let me talk to him alone for a moment.”

  “Yeah, … um. I don’t think so.”

  I pushed myself up, turned onto my knees and side crawled to kneel in front of River. Adair stood in a wide stance, one eyebrow raised and his arms crossed. It’s impossible he could see it.

  Slowly, I reached my fingers out, and my breath quickened. I stopped them the moment they touched the thin gray fabric right underneath his chest. Inches away from his body, the fabric made for a poor barrier and my fingertips soaked in the heat that radiated from him. The wrinkles on his shirt changed like newborn waves on an ocean. Is he still breathing?

  “What you did at the protein farm was horrible,” I said.

  He rolled his eyes and parted his lips, but I interrup
ted his words before they even emerged. “I’m trying to understand this clan better, and I want to talk to Adair about the program. How am I supposed to do that if you guys bicker all the time?”

  His words blurted out. “But Rowan ordered me to —”

  “Rowan may order you, but I am not one of his subjects.” I jerked my hair back. “Right now I want ten minutes without male aggression sprinkled all over it. If you feel sorry in the slightest about what you did to me at the farm, you will give me at least that.”

  He sucked in his lips and wrestled his head from side to side.

  “Ten minutes,” he mumbled, “and you scream for me the instant he tries anything funny.”

  “I promise I will. But we both understand he isn’t the dangerous type, correct? The council told me he is one of his most trusted men, along with you and a guy called Oriel.”

  His look focused on the ground for a long moment, as if he counted the dirt grains stuck to the edge of his boot.

  He shook his head. “He wouldn’t hurt you. But you better be prepared, because he can be… ah, you’ll figure it out yourself. Maybe he is different with women. Who knows.” He shrugged his shoulders.

  Figure what out? I bit back my question. This had to be enough for now. Finally! My heart pounded against my ribcage. I got to talk to a potential sperm donor in person. Yesss! I bet he knows where the samples are.

  River stood up and stared at Adair from threatening eyes. “You can take her down and show her the plot. You touch her once, even by accident, and I’ll blow a bullet through your head from half a mile away.”

  Adair snorted with laughter and gestured me to follow him along. Leaving the small clearance, I tip-toed down the trail covered in sparkling pieces of dark purple and alabaster seashells.

  “How come you throw something as precious as seashells onto the ground here? People pay a fortune for seashells at the Districts.”

  “Same here,” Adair said. “But these pieces are too small or damaged to be sold. They do, however, make a great walkway. There’s nothing I hate more than muddy boots.”

  We reached a low lying area where single beams of sunlight tickled flower buds here and there, moisture visibly rising towards the canopy. Knotted roots and rampant vines crossed over fallen tree trunks, half gobbled up by whatever crawled underneath the remaining bark.

  I pointed at the straw-covered hut, where the dark and bright green leaves of ivy served as windows. “That’s where you live?”

  “Uhu.”

  “But… it’s tiny.”

  He picked up a mushroom that closely resembled the color of my skin. “Tiny?” He spun around on his heel, letting his eyes glide over orange blossoms, gangly stems, and bulbs which peeked out from the wet loam. “I always considered it roomy. My sister and I have a cabin close to the village, but I prefer to be out here whenever I can.”

  He plucked a mushroom from its stem. “Here! This one loves to grow on rotten oak trunks. It tastes a bit like cinnamon.”

  I held it under my nose, taking in the earthy scent and took a nibble.

  “Spicy,” I said. “Where did you learn all this stuff?”

  He rubbed the dirt from the mushroom off his hands. “School mostly. My dad used to be the teacher here for over thirty years. Not sure if there was ever a day in my childhood where I didn’t have to study.”

  Gentle butterfly wings bumped against the walls of my stomach. His dad was a teacher, like me!

  “So, um.” I folded my hands and tucked on my fingers. “You take part in the program, don’t you?”

  For a moment he stared into the understory of the forest. His expression closed up. “Of course. Can’t say it’s mandatory, but… Well, Rowan encourages those approved by the council to fulfill their end of the bargain.”

  “Would you rather not?”

  “Not what?” he asked.

  My tongue formed into a knot. Was I as silly as River now, giggling at words like penis or sperm?

  Adair’s lips curled into a challenging smile. “Donate sperm?”

  I nodded and hoped the heat I felt in my cheeks didn’t somehow show.

  “It’s all right, I guess.” He placed his fists onto his hips. “But I would prefer to raise my own children, instead of having them run up and down the street of the Districts, not knowing who their dad is.”

  For a moment I didn’t know what to say, and the butterflies in my stomach disappeared through my brain, leaving behind a flurry of thoughts.

  “That’s an odd thing to say for a man. At least where I come from. I don’t have the exact numbers, but I think less than thirty percent of our male meet the requirements to donate. Those who make it are incredibly proud of it. And I guarantee you that our children have everything they need, and the entire community home is involved in their upbringing.” Bile bubbled at the pit of my stomach. I wish I would have been born at a community home. “Now you got me curious. Do other clansmen think the same way as you do? River, for example. Does he feel the same about it?”

  “Harumph,” he snorted. “I doubt River has much of an opinion about it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He pressed his lips together as if he contemplated on his options. He shook his head. “Let’s just say he isn’t quite as popular as I am.”

  Curiosity gnawed on me, determined like a puppy. But this wasn’t about River. I glimpsed onto my holo-band.

  “You are free of everything the program won’t accept, right? Like cancer, heart disease, and all that stuff.”

  “Um, yeah.” His eyebrow shot up. “Why are you asking?”

  “I'm only checking if the requirements are the same on both sides of the wall,” I said. “Your one-thirty-something IQ certainly meets them.”

  Why is he looking at me like that? I should change the subject. Or even better, shut my mouth altogether.

  “Interesting. How come you know my IQ?”

  I pulled a strand of my hair. “Oh… I think it’s fascinating how we somehow work together. Don’t you think it’s fascinating? I think its fascinating…”

  “Hmm.” His other eyebrow rose, meeting the other one in a grimace of distrust. “Your peachy cheeks are telling me you’re nervous, and I don’t like it one bit. Obviously, you looked me up in the databank before you came here. Why?”

  Unable to take another breath, I turned my head towards the footpath in a mix of fear and hope. If River came down now, I could get up and leave. But, what if Adair would confront River about my questions. I am so stupid!

  “W-what?” I stammered, “I didn’t look you up. I’m trying to —”

  He lowered his head and looked at me from crinkled eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know… you’re trying to find similarities. Here is one for you. The faces of liars seem exactly the same, here as they do behind the wall. Why did you come here? Did the Districts send you to sabotage the agreement or something?”

  “What?”

  Heat built up in my legs, and I wanted to put it to good use and run away from this awkward situation. The crunch of footsteps made me turn my head. Each footfall had the sound of determined stomps the person didn’t even care to hide. It had to be River.

  “Ah, ah… I’m so sorry, but I have to go.”

  I swung around towards the incline. Before I could take my first step, Adair planted himself in front of me, his eyes filled with the distrust, not even time could mend.

  “You’re up to something, aren’t you!” he said.

  My jaw tensed so hard, I could hear how my teeth rubbed against each other in a disgusting scratch. What if he told River? What if Rowan found out why I really came here?

  I dodged to the left. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Did you look me up in the databank before you came here?” he sidestepped and blocked my way once more.

  “No,” I shrilled. “Why would I do that? You are ridiculous.”

  I stomped off, but Adair wouldn’t move. I didn’t care. As soon as I got too close to him, h
e would walk away all on his own. He couldn’t touch me. I picked up my pace.

  As expected, Adair moved to the side. The path glistered from the corner of my eyes. Where is River? I knew I heard his steps.

  Something wrapped around my arm. Strong and unyielding. I looked down. Callused hands grabbed hold of me, and Adair spun me around, veins protruding to his shoulder.

  My words came out choked. “You… you can’t touch me!”

  “And you can’t fool me,” he said in a husky undertone. “We had enough trouble here over the last couple of years. We don't need a troublemaker. Do you understand?”

  “Let me go… please,” my voice shook.

  Adair’s face went blurry right in front of me, and each blink of my eyes made it worse. My body sensed the predator in him, but his grip slung around me softly and non-threatening.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He let go of my arm. “But you know what, somehow I think you won’t tell anyone because you’re hiding something. You might fool River, but not me. The samples are at the clinic by the way. All the way back at the lab. I can’t wait to find out what you’re going to do with this information.”

  Chapter 13

  The hug

  River

  Thin popped veins left her face blotchy, yet not nearly as red as the tip of her shiny nose. Blood-rimmed, her eyes reminded me of the scarlet sunrise I’ve once seen before another earthquake shook the village. I was a boy then, but the picture had carved itself to the back of my eyes, like a foreshadow to everything that can crush a life underneath piles of rubble.

  Ayanna wiped her arm over her eyes and nose. “Fucking jerk.”

  It was clear she had met Adair. But two foul words in a two-word sentence? My heart dropped to the deepest bottom of my chest.

  “What the fuck happened?” I hurried towards her. “Did he touch you?”

  She didn’t even look up. Instead, she stormed right past me, her shoes stirring up dirt. I looked down the path. No sign of Adair. I wanted to go down there, pull my gun out and push it into his neatly trimmed beard. Handsome face my ass. Won’t be so pretty anymore once a third of it is missing. What did he do to her?