The Boyfriend Project

by Rachel Hawthorne

  I was even mad that he was teasing Jade about her seriousness in overseeing this event, not so much because he was giving her a hard time, but because he couldn’t flirt with her if he was serious about Kendall. And if he wasn’t serious about Kendall, then he was an idiot. It didn’t help that I knew I was being a hypocrite because I’d flirted with Jade while I was with Kendall. I’d thought it was all harmless flirtation. But I was beginning to think there was no such thing.

  “You know with that Wolverine-about-to-go-for-blood look on your face,” Fletcher began, “you’re going to terrify the kiddies. Probably the dogs, too.”

  I glared at him just because I was in the mood to glare. “I want one of us to beat that guy.”

  “Go for it.”

  I wished that encouragement had come from Kendall. That she had walked over to wish me luck. Hell, I was here for her. She should have at least stopped by to acknowledge my presence. My rambling diatribe slammed to a halt.

  She didn’t owe me anything. We’d broken up. The fact that I was here for her—it didn’t matter if she knew it. She still mattered. Her opinion mattered.

  “All right, guys,” Jade said through the bullhorn. “Sixty seconds before we begin, so take your places.”

  Each of us sat in a tall director’s chair. I sat between Fletch and Tommy. Chase and Fletch had the bookend spots on the row. Nathaniel and Ethan were also in the lineup.

  “Remember,” Jade continued, “the winner is the one who collects the most money.” She held up a ten and slid her gaze over to me. “So who gets mine? Impress me!”

  I sat there while everyone else stood up and began flexing their biceps, showing off their guns. What was I doing here? This wasn’t me.

  I almost walked off the stage, but then I thought of Kendall and how important all this was to her. So I stood up. I was wearing the red muscle shirt that we’d bought when we were at the beach. The one she’d searched through mounds of unfolded shirts to find.

  That seemed so long ago. A different time when we were different people. Or maybe we had just seemed different, because I still wanted now what I’d wanted then: for her to be happy. I wouldn’t be with her forever. But I could still give her today.

  Jade walked up the line, smiling at displayed muscles, grunts, and grins. Then she was standing in front of me. She arched a brow. “Let’s see what you got.”

  I lifted my shirt until the hem tickled my lower ribs.

  She gave me a really wicked smile. “Well, hello, abs. Maybe I’ll see you later.”

  I let the cotton drop back into place.

  She shifted her attention to Fletch. “You?”

  “Won’t even try to compete with that.”

  “You have to show me something.”

  “Only the guns.” He flexed the muscles in his arms.

  “I’m an abs kinda girl,” she said, and with a seductive grin, she stuffed the ten into my jar. “You were holding out on me. We’ll talk about that later.”

  Her interest in me had been waning, but I had it again. The thing was, I didn’t want it beyond the contest. I didn’t want to impress Jade. I wanted to impress Kendall. Everything I was doing today was for Kendall.

  It always had been.

  Chapter 39

  KENDALL

  Half an hour into the gun show, I was regretting that I hadn’t set it up nearer to the adoption area. A nice crowd had gathered. Cheers and applause echoed toward the small grassy knoll where we were set up.

  “We should have brought binoculars,” Terri said. “People seem to be having way too much fun over there.”

  “Is there such a thing as too much fun?”

  She grinned. “You’re right. There isn’t. All that enthusiasm has to bode well for donations.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Did you want to sneak over there and take a look?”

  “When I’m finished here.”

  By the time my shift had ended, many of the animals had been placed with someone who we thought—hoped—would love them forever.

  Another volunteer showed up to replace me. I went home to get Bogart. Mom had gone out of town to a spa retreat with some of her girlfriends. She wouldn’t be back until late tomorrow night. I could have taken advantage of that if Jeremy and I were still together. I’d thought about inviting Avery over for a girls’ night. Movies, doing each other’s hair, talking guys. Like we used to do, but I wasn’t really in the mood for a trek down memory lane. Besides, I figured she’d rather spend the time with Fletcher.

  Bogart was lying on the cool tile in the kitchen when I got home. He looked up at me with sad, droopy eyes. But his tail was wagging.

  “Hey, buddy,” I said, kneeling down and petting him. “Want to go to the park?”

  His tail wagged faster. When I reached for the leash hanging on a peg, he shoved himself to his feet.

  “Yeah, you know, don’t you?” I cooed as I snapped on his leash.

  He trotted along behind me to the car. Lifting him up, I settled him in the front seat. It was so comforting to have him with me.

  “I think I’m going to ask Chase to come over and we’ll have steak tonight,” I said as I slid behind the wheel and buckled up. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  He gave a little kerfuffle sound that could have been a bark of approval. The parking lot was packed when we got there. I’d thought about bringing him with me this morning, but I hadn’t wanted him outside in the heat for most of the day, especially when I’d be preoccupied showing off the other dogs. So the great spot I’d had that morning was gone, and I ended up parking down the street.

  It was a long, slow walk to the entrance of the event. I stopped by the adoption station. The volunteer who had replaced me was gone. Terri was still there, smiling brightly. We had only three dogs left.

  “That’s great!” I told her.

  “I know. I think this has been our most successful event ever. Chase had a good idea with the gun show.”

  “Maybe I’ll check it out.”

  “You do that. And enjoy the event. You’ve earned it.”

  I didn’t know about that. I’d helped set it up, but she’d done most of the work. As I wandered over, Bogart traipsed along behind me. When I neared the canopied area, I saw Avery leaning against a tree, munching on a blue snow cone. I joined her.

  “That looks good,” I said.

  “It is. Want some?”

  “Sure.” I took a bite, welcomed the coconut-flavored ice melting in my mouth. Bogart stopped at a water bowl. We’d set up watering stations throughout the area and one of the volunteers kept them full.

  I nodded at the paw painted on Avery’s cheek. “Cute.”

  “Darla is pretty good at painting faces. Some of these kids look like they’re wearing dog masks; I couldn’t go that far. But a paw? Sure. And the money is for a good cause. Speaking of money, it looks like your gunslingers are bringing in quite a bit.”

  “They seem to be having a good time.” When someone walked by, they’d each strike up a crazy pose until money was dropped into a jar. Then they’d each slap hands, bump knuckles.

  “I think they are. Fletcher is, anyway.”

  “It doesn’t bother you?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “I know he’s mine.”

  I’d thought Jeremy was mine.

  “Think I’m going to wander over and get a closer look,” Avery said.

  “I’ll go with you. Come on, Bogart,” I said, and tugged gently on his leash. He padded along behind me. My heart sped up as I neared Jeremy and his gaze landed on me. It was silly for me to react, but I figured I always would. The one that got away.

  No, the one I’d pushed away, the one I’d wanted to change.

  Avery and I stopped at the edge of the crowd, near the front so we had a better view. The guys were bunching and relaxing their muscles, making quarter turns. They dipped, crouched, got creative trying to outdo each other. I couldn’t help but smile at their antics.

&nbs
p; “Abs!” Avery suddenly shouted. “Show us some abs!”

  Fletcher grinned at her. Lifted his shirt slightly until a hint of firm muscle showed.

  “Wow. Impressive,” I whispered to her.

  “I know. You should see the entire package. He and Jeremy have been working out.”

  “What?”

  She grimaced. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Jeremy wanted to surprise you.”

  I looked at him a little more closely. He was wearing the shirt I’d bought him, so I could see his arms more clearly. They were definitely firmer, but I’d assumed that was because of all the construction work.

  “Shirts off!” Jade suddenly yelled through the megaphone. “Shirts off!”

  The crowd picked up the chant. Chase whipped off his tank without even hesitating and tossed it into the crowd. Some girl caught it and pretended to swoon. At least I thought she was pretending. With a broad grin, he leaned forward slightly, cupped his hands together, and made his muscles stand out. He had a really nice physique.

  The chanting got louder until Tommy and Nathaniel drew their shirts over their heads. Ethan quickly followed suit, which just left Fletcher and Jeremy. They looked at each other.

  “Do it!” Avery shouted, then laughed.

  Both guys made little guns with their hands, pretended to shoot them, then reached down and grabbed the hems of their tanks. Slowly, so slowly, they lifted them up. Abs, chest, shoulders. Then the shirts were at their feet and they were flexing their muscles. The crowd erupted into shouts and applause. Girls rushed forward to drop money in their jars. I was impressed that they could move at all because I was totally frozen. Jeremy had never been a slouch in the physique department, but now the muscles along his stomach were more defined. I couldn’t imagine the hours required to get that result in such a short time.

  “Pretty impressive, huh?” Avery asked.

  “Oh, yeah.” I’d told him that I’d wanted him to beat Chase, and it seemed he’d taken my wishes to heart.

  The crowd slowly dispersed until only Avery and I were standing there. A few more people began wandering over and I knew it wouldn’t be long before we were once again surrounded. Avery approached Fletcher, while I eased up to Jeremy.

  “Hey,” I said quietly, while giving a little wave to Fletcher who just nodded and took a few steps away as though he thought we needed some privacy. Or maybe he wanted the private moment with Avery. “You look . . . great.”

  “Helps that we put on a little oil,” Jeremy said, humble as ever, before crouching down and petting Bogart. “How are you doing, Bogie? Keeping out of trouble?” He looked up at me. “Looks like it’s a successful event.”

  “Seems to be. Terri is pretty happy about it. We have only a couple of dogs left to be adopted.”

  He straightened. “That’s awesome.”

  “It is,” I said. My eyes drifted down to his stomach, back up along his chest until I finally met his gaze. “Jeremy, I really appreciate that you did this, especially after everything—”

  “I knew it was important to you,” he interrupted.

  But not more important than you, I thought. Than us.

  His hair was so much longer. I wanted to run my fingers through it. It had been my idea to grow it out. It seemed like I should at least be able to comb my fingers through it. I wanted to tell him I missed him, wanted to tell him I was sorry, wanted to tell him a hundred things.

  He’d been the best boyfriend ever, and I hadn’t realized it until it was too late.

  Reaching into my shorts pocket, I pulled out a folded hundred-dollar bill. When I started pet-sitting for my neighbor, I’d put the first hundred I made aside, intending to do something special with it. I stuffed it into Jeremy’s jar where an abundance of ones, fives, and tens fought for space. “Bye, Jeremy.”

  The hardest thing I’d ever done was walk off. I knew I needed to stop and say something to Chase, to thank him as well, to thank all the guys, but I couldn’t. Tears were threatening. I kept going until I was way past the crowd gathering for another exhibition. Bending down, I picked up Bogart and snuggled against him. I needed comfort and he provided the best.

  I became aware of something warm on my arm. I thought maybe it was my tears, but when I looked down, I saw the blood. “Bogart?”

  I lowered him and myself to the ground. I started to examine him. Had he stepped on something sharp? It took me a moment to realize that he had a nosebleed. A very bad nosebleed.

  Picking him back up, I started running for the car. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. I had to get him to the vet.

  Before it was too late.

  I sat on a bench at the vet’s and stared at the drops of blood on my right sneaker. How had they gotten there?

  As soon as I’d arrived, the staff had immediately taken Bogart back for some X-rays. I wasn’t hopeful. He was old and there was too much blood. I wanted to cry but all the tears were caught in my throat, trapped in my chest. I ached. If I thought about it too much, I felt as though I was suffocating.

  I didn’t look up when I heard the door open. Didn’t lift my gaze at the sound of footsteps. Didn’t even move when someone sat beside me.

  A large, slender hand wrapped around mine, interlaced our fingers, squeezed.

  The dam of tears nearly burst at the kindness.

  I shifted my gaze over slightly until I could see the familiar blond hair, the brown eyes. An unfamiliar dark-blue plaid shirt over his black T-shirt. Sleeves rolled up to reveal strong arms, arms he was supposed to be showing off.

  “Jeremy, you’re supposed to be raising money for the shelter,” I said.

  “I’ll have my dad make a huge donation.”

  “I don’t want you to have to ask him for something.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “If you’re not there, they won’t put money in your jar. You won’t win.”

  With his free hand, he cradled my cheek. “I don’t care about any of that. I saw you running off with Bogart. I knew something was wrong, figured you’d be here. Is he—”

  “They’re taking X-rays, looking him over. I want to be with him but they said not yet.”

  “What happened?”

  “He got a nosebleed, a bad one.”

  “You should have come to get me, so I could have helped you.”

  How could I? How could I ask him for help when we weren’t together anymore? Everything was so messed up.

  “He’s my dog, too,” he said quietly.

  I’d forgotten that Jeremy’s name was on the paperwork. It seemed a lifetime ago.

  Squeezing my hand, he said, “He’s going to be okay.”

  I shook my head. “No, Jeremy, he’s not.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  But I did.

  The door that led to the examination rooms opened. The vet’s assistant smiled sadly at me. “Kendall, you can come back now.”

  Without a word, Jeremy got up and came with me. She led us to a room. Bogart was lying on the table, breathing heavily. He didn’t even raise his head, but his tail gave two little wags.

  I went over to him, buried my fingers in his fur, placed my face close to his. “Hey, sweetie.”

  “Dr. Syn will be with you in just a minute,” the assistant said before quietly closing the door.

  Jeremy came to stand behind me, his hand resting on the small of my back. For a minute, it was almost like old times, with him always there, always knowing exactly what to do to comfort me.

  The door opened and Dr. Syn walked in. He greeted us, shook our hands, then set his laptop on the desk, opened it, and brought up an image. “Not good news, I’m afraid,” he said somberly. “See this area here?” He circled a shadowy white spot in what was obviously Bogart’s head. “It’s a tumor.”

  He displayed another image—this one showing Bogart’s chest area. “It’s metastasized. You can see additional tumors here.” He looked at me, his eyes as soulful as Bogart’s. “You need to make a decis
ion. Do you want to call your mom?”

  I shook my head. “She’s out of town. There’s no reason to bother her.” I looked at the X-rays, looked at Bogart. His eyes met mine, and I knew he knew. Somehow he knew. I stroked his fur, bent down, and kissed the top of his head. “You’re going to see your pal soon.”

  Then I gave my attention back to Dr. Syn. “I don’t want him to suffer anymore.”

  “Do you want to wait in the hall?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I’ll stay with him.”

  Dr. Syn patted my shoulder, then left to get everything he needed.

  I wrapped my arms around Bogart and said good-bye.

  Chapter 40

  JEREMY

  I’d never had to put a dog to sleep. I didn’t realize everything that needed to be done. Papers signed, arrangements for cremation made. I took care of everything while Kendall stood in the hallway and cried.

  Broke my heart to see how badly she was hurting.

  I’d seen her running from the park and had started out after her, but Jade had intercepted me, told me I couldn’t leave. She’d made a big production out of it, when I knew that it didn’t matter. They had plenty of gunslingers. No one was going to notice that I was gone. So I hadn’t been able to catch up with Kendall at the park. But based on how fast she’d been running, I’d decided to try here first. I felt badly that I hadn’t gotten to her sooner.

  When I finished signing everything, I went over to her. “You ready to go?”

  She gave a barely perceptible nod. I put my arms around her and drew her close. “I’m going to take you home.”

  “I can drive.” Her voice sounded rough and raspy.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “You don’t have to be so nice.”

  “Yeah, I kinda do.” Because she mattered to me. In spite of the fact that we’d somehow lost each other, she still mattered. She’d always matter.

  Chapter 41

  KENDALL

  As Jeremy drove, I remembered that my mom had once told me that how much you loved someone had nothing at all to do with how long he or she was in your life. She’d been talking about my dad, about how they hadn’t had a gazillion years together but she would never love another man as much as she’d loved him. Even though if she met someone now, he might be in her life longer than my dad had been.