by Tiffany Sala
“He—the one who took me the other time, at first he was really, like, I’d completely broken him. He stopped going out because I’d go to parties where I thought I might see him, and he’d be too scared of me calling him out on violating the restraining order.” I looked away for a second so as not to take in a slight change in Devin’s expression. “I was a kid then, don’t judge me.”
“Oh Julia.” Devin put his hand on my cheek and turned me back around to face him. “I wouldn’t judge you, it’s not like I have a leg to stand on when it comes to judging someone else’s character flaws, is it?”
“Neither did the guy whose kneecaps you funded getting smashed,” I observed.
“Sassy even when I’m taking a weight off you, I like that.” He still had his hand on my back, stroking me a little… no, I was moving against him a little. “Julia, it’s not for me to tell you whether you’re wrong or right for what you were doing back then. In my business, the goal is to deal in as few questions of wrong and right as possible. Have your lines, and don’t cross them, but everything else has to be just business. Would it make a difference to you if I told you that guy who needed the kneecap reconstruction, our friend Rocky, was a well-documented piece of shit? That he was very much a part of this world and not some bystander?”
“It would,” I said. “Not that I’ve really had time to question that sort of thing yet.”
Devin nodded. “We all have our strategies. And I know you weren’t really looking for my validation, but an unburdening. What happened to him after at first?”
It still burned me. “He fell in love. Properly—at least, when he looked at her, I could see it was nothing like how he’d ever looked at me. And it wasn’t just the look, it gave him power somehow. He… she came with him, to those parties, and if I was there she’d find me and warn me he was around and I’d better go home. I’d better go home. For my own protection!”
If anyone else had given me that little smirk he responded with, I would have been inclined to claw their eyes out. With him… it was beautifully real after the aggravation of getting absolutely nothing during our dinner, and I wished I had more humiliating stories to tell him so he’d give it to me more. “Little brat doesn’t like to be put in her place by another woman, does she?”
One further, pitiful detail occurred to me. “She didn’t even like those parties! It was so obvious she was hating every second of being there… but she was there, for him.”
“It’s rare to have anyone so willing to fight for you,” said Devin. “Of course he loved her.”
I tried to fix him with the shrewdness of my look but I wasn’t sure I could have managed that even when not tipsy. “Are you trying to sell me the line that I’ll love you, once you show me you can protect me in the same way?”
That question made him serious again… in that distant way that was everything I hadn’t wanted. “There are complications as far as that’s concerned. I’m not some straightforward little schoolboy, actually seeking to love and be loved. My requirements are profoundly different.”
“You make it sound like you’re some kind of serious sexual deviant, buttering me up for your dungeon.”
“If I had a dungeon I wouldn’t have needed to call in a favour to house you somewhere that would prove difficult to escape from,” said Devin. “I’m not deviant in some way we haven’t discussed before.”
“So…” I couldn’t believe where I was going with this. It was definitely the alcohol. “You’d say you engage in relatively standard sex.”
It was impossible to tell if he was offering me a smile or a grimace. “When I choose to engage, yes, I would consider it to be nothing out of the ordinary for the average person…” It had definitely evolved into a smile. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve had anyone go away dissatisfied.”
That little hint of self-promotion, the tease, was somehow all I had been waiting for. “Let’s do it,” I said.
I could tell I’d taken him down a wrong path in his thinking… but now I was thinking, well, why not?
“I mean getting married,” I clarified. “Or playing at it, at least for now. Let’s see where that leads, you know? If you give me the space I need and I can give you the space you need, maybe it’ll work out for both of us in the short-term. If I find out you’ve misled me, that you’re not all you seem, I can just walk away.”
“You have that option,” Devin agreed.
I was really caught up on that other idea. “We need to make sure we’re compatible.”
“Excuse me?” said Devin, and I stood up, slung both my arms around his neck, and kissed him. I knew it was partially the wine tipping me over the edge, and I didn’t care. He’d gathered most of my secrets from me before even twenty-four hours had passed of us knowing one another, and I wanted to give him one more.
His mouth seemed rigid against me at first. I thought he was going to push me away… but then he put a hand on the base of my spine, drawing me in, and as smoothly as he turned every situation into a plan revolving around what favoured him, he turned my advance into his advance. His other arm wrapped higher around my back to pin me completely against him, and I felt his tongue tickling mine, though he wasn’t forcing his way in. Yet.
I tried to work out if there was… well, anything else he might like to get in, but my ankles were starting to vibrate because of those stupid shoes I still hadn’t removed. I couldn’t make sense of anything except that he was very warm and I was scared at having brought him so close to me when I tried to wrap my head around everything he was, but I wanted to keep going anyway. I wanted to see if he was as good as his promises, if I would feel anything—if I could do anything that would make him feel something.
I steeled myself for what would come next—and Devin set me back. I nearly tripped over my stupid heels.
“W—what?” He didn’t look like he was angry or turned off, he’d just retreated out of range. I took a step to close the gap. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Nothing wrong.” Devin smoothly restored the distance. “But it is not a good move for me to allow you to offer this tonight.”
“What? Why not?” I had to sit back down because the rage was making whatever was left in my stomach boil. I thought I was going to be sick. My big beautiful kitchen in my big beautiful house was starting to spin around me, speeding up and flying apart. He was supposed to be making me feel safer, not like my entire world was shattering.
“It isn’t a good idea right now,” Devin told me. “When you’ve been drinking. When you haven’t had any time to consider this decision.”
“Have you ever heard of one night stands, Devin? Do you think I’m so fragile I’ll be destroyed if I’m intimate with a man and decide later on I shouldn’t have gone that far?”
“I think if we are to have a working relationship together I need to be more careful,” said Devin. His wording dumped a bucket on my fury… and my growing horniness. Obviously there was no love in whatever arrangement we were cooking up and he seemed to agree that we needed to have some other common ground… but that didn’t mean I wanted to be seen as a business partner.
Devin stepped forward and took my arm. I guess I’d stopped looking like I was aiming to jump his bones in as short a time as possible. “Let’s get you in bed. We should focus on the upcoming scene with your parents first, and then we will consider the other details later.”
Well, the thought of having a scene with my parents to look forward to cooled me off even further as well. I couldn’t fault Devin for wanting to take this more slowly with that hurdle still ahead.
I let Devin lead me up to my bedroom, trying not to think about how the last time I had been there I was being dragged out with Devin lurking in a corner making sure everything happened to his specifications—and of course thinking about very little else. I hated to admit it, but Devin had been right to call a halt on whatever I was trying to make happen that night.
Devin waited outside while I changed out of the clothes
he’d made me wear, taking more time than I really needed because I could hardly stop staring at myself in the mirror as I slid out of each piece of clothing in turn. I could see now I’d done a slightly sloppy job on my makeup, but I still looked incredible. If anything, the flaws made me appear older, made my features sharper, harsh. I felt like I was getting a glimpse of another woman I could become if I married the baby-faced criminal outside my door. The thing was I didn’t know if I was going to like her or wish I’d kept her leashed. At least I accepted the Julia I was now was me. For better or worse.
Once I was in my pyjamas and in bed as Devin had directed before I called him in, I considered a bit of mischief: maybe exposing a few inches more flesh than he would be expecting, just to see what he would do.
But even as my heart spiked at the sight of him standing in my doorway, my eyes were closing.
Chapter Eight
I woke to shouting, which wasn’t unusual around my house… but there was an extra male voice in the mix, and that dragged me all the way through the dozing state to the other side.
I was hearing my parents’ voices. That couldn’t be possible, they should have still been in Europe. Even if that man at the restaurant had called them directly, there was no way they could have…
It turned out I didn’t really know what my parents were capable of. But as more memories of the past twenty-seven hours or so came back to mind completely out of order, I realised the really important detail was that I couldn’t leave Devin out there to deal with them unless I wanted more trouble to brew.
I pulled on my more modest dressing gown and stepped into my slippers and kept going from there straight out the door… and stopped fast as I almost collided with my parents in full professional attire, plus Devin looking like he’d managed to put on a fresh suit and easily outclassing them.
When all of them turned to stare at me I realised I’d made a serious error in judgement. My arrival was going to bring the trouble… but what other choice did I have?
“Julia.” Mum managed a little fake smile on Devin’s account. “Has this brute done anything to you he needs to pay for?” Joking, but also pretty serious. Devin’s eyes were stormy in a way that would have made me feel things I didn’t want to, under other circumstances.
“Hi Mum, Daddy.” I was seeing, now that it was hard to avoid confronting it, that things were obviously far from normal when it came to my parents. It had been a whole other lifetime ago since I’d had friends whose families I could get close to, and I hadn’t been a discerning observer as a preteen. I don’t know that my friendships were normal even when I had them. My parents would only approve my visiting with the sorts of kids who had houses as big as ours, who did horseriding and badminton and could provide a basic explanation of the stock market. Mum would shuffle me off with a slice she’d either bought or had someone bake for her, she definitely didn’t do them herself, warning me to be on my best behaviour… and of course I was, but these playdates were organised through my parents, the kids involved hardly ever even talked to me at school, so I didn’t feel too guilty when I broke some present from a deceased grandparent or bullied them in their own bedrooms.
But I was suddenly certain, my old memories snapping into focus and giving me clarity I’d probably never had at the time. Those parents weren’t so wary coming into their own houses, checking every corner for trouble, acting like they were just admiring the artwork when called on it. They didn’t have to look their children up and down like a fox sniffing at a returned cub before accepting it back into her life. There was an openness in the average family life that was not in mine, and I knew from the way they acted towards each other that my parents were capable of tremendous affection, which could only mean they had some reason to protect themselves from everyone else.
“Look, I’m fine. This was all a nasty surprise, but I’m past it already. What I’m more interested in is what you have to say for yourselves about some of the things I’ve been hearing. Is it true, what Devin says? That you’re in some kind of local mafia?” I tried to fix Mum right in the eyes, but she wouldn’t have it. “That our family has uninterrupted water views because some guy got his kneecaps smashed up?”
Daddy grimaced. “Of course he brings up Rocky’s fucking kneecaps.”
No demands for explanation. No denial, no suggestion that I might have the wrong end of the stick. Sometimes saying nothing said everything.
“I can’t believe you never told me about any of this! How could you think that now I’m an adult I was going to be able to just flit around knowing nothing? You put me in a dangerous position because, I don’t know, you couldn’t be bothered sitting me down for a chat or something? What is this, amateur hour?”
Mum scoffed, then she glanced at Devin, who was clearly enjoying this spectacle. “Mr. O’Hare, our family needs some privacy to discuss this situation.”
This dismissal seemed to make him even happier, to my surprise. What had happened to keeping me safe? “I’ll be out waiting near the front door. If you need anything, Julia, just give me a shout.”
I watched him leave, a little bothered by my nervousness in the face of losing him for the moment. Maybe he thought I needed to have this time with my parents alone.
Well, I had to get back to the main point of this… but even as I was collecting my thoughts, my mother turned on me.
“What is this, Julia: we get these calls that you’ve been seen out in the company of that man and that you’re alleging you’ve been kidnapped, so we hurry back to offer whatever assistance we can, and we find that man in our house—parked on the property where absolutely anyone could come past and see?”
For a moment I couldn’t say anything. This was not even the weak sympathy I had expected from their greeting.
Daddy took up where Mum seemed too overcome by her fury to continue. “Worse: you have him in your bedroom! And he has the gall to just stroll out when we arrive and announce that the two of you are now engaged?”
“Perhaps he’s misled me,” I said, which I didn’t believe at all, “but he tells me you’re the ones who have the gall to be late on paying him back the money you owe him. Six figures, not pocket change.”
Mum rolled her eyes. “Darling, everyone has debts. Nobody pays their debts if they don’t need to. Mr. O’Hare doesn’t need that money, you’ve been out and wined and dined by him, you know he throws it around like it’s confetti. So long as you keep track of the interest, at the end of the day, what does it matter?”
“So it’s all true… you’re in some mafia.”
“We don’t use that term around here, Julia,” said Daddy, grimacing. “It’s too tied up in movie culture, and that’s just not real life. We refer to ourselves as an extended family.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out of me. “Family? That’s a much more cliché term right there. Cheek-kissing, back-slapping… the works.”
My parents were finding new levels of not laughing inside of themselves. “Well, sometimes real life emulates fiction,” Mum snapped. “It’s a general enough word for a group of people who share a connection that is difficult to sever. And we don’t go in for cheek-kissing or… whatever that other thing you said was.”
“No, I didn’t see you being the type.”
She looked even more annoyed at that. “There is an intricate web of families who live all over Tasmania and have interests all over the world. Maybe it seems incongruous with the image of the place, but that’s just to our advantage, isn’t it? We enjoy an elite status here and are mostly able to manage things however we want, and there are few people here who have connections beyond this island that would lead them to suspect we are anything but regular wealthy people.”
“Well I can believe that, because I couldn’t even get the truth out of you!” The more they talked, the more the whole situation was doing my head in. “You’re home way earlier than should have been possible too, if I’m to believe that itinerary you left behind. There’s no way yo
u could have gotten back here so soon… I suppose if you found out I was kidnapped the very instant it happened you’d be close, but the time frame just doesn’t seem right.”
“Maybe we were somewhere a little closer to home already.” Mum’s shrug made me feel like I was dressing down my teenage daughter… an experience I’d never even been a part of myself. “And maybe we had access to a friend’s private plane that was ready to go at a moment’s notice.”
“And maybe you went to a whole lot of effort to convince me your schedule was very different to the reality so I could be a part of the deception.”
“So you could at least not blow our cover,” Daddy retorted. “Here you are getting all upset because we didn’t tell you every little detail of our lives… since when have you offered us that same respect, Julia, when we have the responsibility to guide and protect you?” I knew my expression had turned uncertain and I hated it. “Oh yes, we know all about your little excursions out of the house, all those parties you used to go to. We have a few connections you wouldn’t be aware of.” By which I thought he meant some of the other kids who had been at those parties were part of the ‘extended family’. They must have been laughing at me behind my back, the same age as them and yet completely clueless about what really went on under the surface of my life. Ignorant of the reasons for my comfortable existence.
“Do you think it’s some tremendous zinger to bring up things I did when I was a teenager, Daddy? If you knew, if you had an issue with what I was doing why did you never step up and bring me back into line, like you just agreed you were supposed to do? Like, maybe it would have actually been nice to get some of your attention for once.”
Daddy was clearly not even listening. “Did you really think when there was that trouble with the boy that we’d just believe he happened to see you one day and decided to do something so drastic? It was quite obvious you’d done something to lure him in, and we were impressed, actually, by your efforts to exert maximum control over the situation even when it took a turn you hadn’t anticipated… but you showed you couldn’t maintain your control over the boy. You are lucky you targeted a true innocent and he had no thoughts of retaliation… and so is he. Certainly you proved you’re not to be trusted with all the secrets we could burden you with.”