by Tiffany Sala
They knew, then, that Steven had managed to find someone else despite everything I’d thrown at him, that he’d left me feeling so humiliated I stopped sneaking out, even though I hadn’t realised at the time that anyone would notice or care.
Now it turned out everyone had noticed: everyone in this world nobody had bothered to mention I was a part of. And my parents had let it happen because they didn’t want to trust me with a responsibility I’d been born into anyway!
I hated how they were bringing me down like this to my face just because I’d dared to question their judgement and behaviour. I knew that was what they were doing because it was always like this: they could never own their mistakes. And they let mine slide at the time when addressing them could actually help me, because they wanted to be able to save them up for when it would best suit them to unleash on me.
Well, I wasn’t going to let them get away with it as easily as they usually did today. I’d had a hell of a day thanks to their completely infeasible way of dealing with the tremendous problem of having me in their lives.
“Oh, never mind all that ancient history.” I wriggled so my dressing gown slid just enough to keep whether or not I was wearing anything under it unclear. “It seems like Devin told you the important detail: we’re getting married.” I embellished on impulse. If I was going to at least pretend to be Devin O’Hare’s intended wife for a while, I was going to need to do all I could to live up to him. “As soon as possible. No drawn-out engagements here.”
“Julia, this is fucking insane.” Daddy slammed his hand against the wall. “This man invaded our home and took you, and suddenly you’re going to be his wife as soon as possible?”
“Someone has to take responsibility for your debt, Daddy. Devin says he’ll wipe it clean for you entirely if I do this.” I saw the way their eyes fucking lit up at that. I wasn’t going to have it. “A sort of gesture of goodwill for his new in-laws.”
Mum grimaced. “Julia, he—” She turned to Daddy. “Do something, do you hear what’s happening here?”
“Julia, Devin O’Hare is not the sort of man we want to have connected to us in that way. Do you remember that old saying: keep your friends close and your enemies closer? If you let O’Hare close to you, then you give him power to harm you in ways you can’t imagine.”
I smirked and shimmied my shoulders a little. “Oh, Daddy, I’m pretty well aware of what Devin can do if I let him close to me.”
“Have some dignity, Julia,” Mum snapped.
“Like you do when you’re getting a man’s kneecaps smashed up because he had ideas about planning for the future of our neighbourhood that didn’t align with yours?”
She rolled her eyes, and then her whole head as well. “Rocky Halloran had it coming, trust me.”
Something about that pushed my buttons in a way no other part of this mess had yet. “Trust you, Mum? Why should I trust anything that comes out of your mouth when you’ve done nothing but lie to me and sit on everything you know about me for your personal gain since I was born, probably?”
Daddy stepped in between the two of us, so I had to recoil even as I was lunging to get in her face. “Don’t you be histrionic, Julia, and show your mother the respect due her.”
That was how it always worked with the two of them. Mum would blow up about something, and look to Daddy to come in and start smacking heads together. Or any other man she could get for a price, apparently.
I wasn’t as nervous around her antics as usual. Whenever I remembered that I now knew a big part of what she’d always tried to hide from me, it shook the shyness that was a usual part of any close interaction with her. The glamorous woman I always struggled to feel even good enough to be second fiddle alongside. She probably knew it, too. No wonder she’d played things this way. Trying to get one up on her own daughter was just what I expected from my mother dearest.
“That is exactly what I’m showing her right now, Daddy. Look, I’m not naïve, I know sometimes people have to do things that seem really dirty, that aren’t always strictly legal. I appreciate that you’ve always put a nice roof over my head, and I’m willing to hear the details before I go judging you for whatever other life you have… But Devin says Mum crippled a guy just to maintain her pristine water glimpses. It wasn’t honour, or protecting the family, or anything that is even kind of on the nose but everyone does it so okay… it’s stupid, and nobody is denying it happened! How are you defending any of this?”
“There are such things as loyalty to one’s family, Julia, that you need to learn more about if you want to play at being a part of this world—”
Mum got in front of him again. “You precious little brat,” she screamed in my face—no Daddy stepping in to defend me, either. “You think you’re so smart, standing in judgement over me while you vow to give your everything to this man who swept you off your feet. Don’t think you’re the first girl to fall in love with a man who kidnapped her, not in this world. It always ends in the silly little bitch being taken apart, and I don’t always mean that in a metaphorical sense. Aside from that, if you think it’s scandalous to fight a shitty little scumbag with an interest in this situation he still won’t acknowledge… you’re going to hate finding out all that Devin O’Hare is tied up in.”
The thing was I could totally believe that. I was probably going to be really appalled by the sorts of things Devin got up to, no matter how many stories he had to tell me about how bad those men were he’d removed fingers and ears from or whatever. But it seemed like I was going to have the same feelings about what my parents did.
I was buried in this world already, whether I liked it or not. At least Devin had offered some sort of protection.
“Are you done?” I asked.
Mum’s jaw dropped. Usually I just cringed and muttered some sort of apology when she went off like that. Maybe asked if I could go back to my bedroom.
“We all do things for different reasons throughout our life,” I said. “You and Daddy might even be willing to calmly explain yours to me one day. Anyway, I don’t expect you to be in love with what I’ve decided to do, but you need to understand I’m going to do it anyway. And I’m hoping you’ll be able to put aside your disapproval for long enough to support me on the day, at least.” Devin would probably be miffed if there was a ceremony and they opted against attending. Ruining the climactic scenes of his improvised plan and all.
Daddy sighed. He glanced behind before he said, “You know damn well we can’t say no to this, Julia. Everyone will be there observing our absence.”
Everyone… I hadn’t gotten far enough in my thinking to realise that there would probably be a lot of expected guests, people Devin knew and my parents knew but I had never been introduced to. I hadn’t yet considered the organisation of my own wedding to be a good way to learn more about the ‘extended family’.
It was scary, thinking of being the central focus of a gigantic mafia-themed gig, but that was just because it had been a long time since I’d taken myself out of the house at all. Before I got psyched out of it, I used to sort of love showing up at parties I’d figured out were on from stalking the social media of local kids with no sense of privacy, the other attendees glancing at one another and whispering who is she? as I floated by, like I was Cinderella.
Having a wedding was probably a hundred times better than that feeling, because there was no doubt it was about one person in particular. I could picture it already.
“Well I’m glad,” I told my parents, “because I am planning to make sure this is one big party. The sort of event everyone talks about for years to come. It’d be a shame if you missed it.”
As it was sinking in for them just how much they were going to hate everything about this… Devin strolled back up the hallway. The instigator of this chaos, back to reap the fruits of what he’d sown.
Chapter Nine
I should have known he wasn’t going to wait to be called back like a good little boy.
“Ever
ything all right in here, sweetheart?” He practically danced past my parents, and slung an arm across my shoulder. I was pulled against his side, my breast pressing hard against his muscular torso. I hadn’t had time to put on a bra, so the contact lanced through me in a way that made me feel ready to slide back into bed before I’d even gotten breakfast… and maybe with company, too.
“Just thrashing out the details of the wedding.” I dared to tip my head against him, trying to feel the hard muscle I knew was packed around his shoulder through his sleek suit. It seemed a bit awkward to be playing around with this kind of intimacy when the most that had happened between us was that kiss that hadn’t exactly filled him with uncontrollable desire, and my parents knew damn well it wasn’t like we’d met normally and made a connection that way.
But the more I settled into the idea of what I was doing, the more I wanted to fuck with them—my parents, and Devin. Let him see if he could really keep up with me.
“I really want to tell them more of the things you’ve generously agreed to let me have my own way with, but I know we’re both starving after everything we’ve been up to, and Mum and Daddy just got home so they’re probably keen to sit down and relax… so you should just stay for breakfast, Devin. What better time to start bonding as a family?”
Devin made a choking noise that was a bit like a laugh and a bit like his organs were seizing up with horror. Oh yes, he needn’t think I’d forgotten about the way he had me snatched from my bed by such ineptly-selected grunts he’d had to peel one of them off me the morning after. I was going to give him the crushing psychological victory he craved, but he would have to make up for how he’d gone about it.
My parents were looking at one another, lost in their own world of strategising again. Daddy turned back to us, keeping his eyes focused in the region of Devin’s face with difficulty. “Of course that would be a good opportunity for us to clarify some of the details of this situation.”
He wasn’t quite managing to hide his voice shaking. Of course he was nervous: it had to be dawning on them that Devin had deliberately snatched our sense of safety from us, just as it had dawned on me when we’d arrived back at the house the night before. Before my first kidnapping, we hadn’t done much in the way of security. Perhaps my parents thought they didn’t need to, with their standing, but we’d all learned better.
Now Devin had showed my parents he could take their daughter from the protection of her home… they had to realise if they threw this offer of financial forgiveness back in his face, he might take something from them they actually cared about. We were all back at square one, and I guess that was a lot further to fall for my parents, because they’d never given me any reason to have confidence in them.
Devin gestured with the arm that wasn’t holding me. “Lead the way.”
His face remained neutral as he started walking, guiding me with his arm as if I could be expected to have no idea where my own kitchen was—following my parents as if he had no idea where the kitchen was. I was guessing right now he was smiling on the inside, though. He didn’t always share his feelings with those around him, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. He couldn’t completely mask the shift in his mood while he was so close to me, though.
Without the wine haze of the night before getting in my way, I was now free to explore my feelings about that kiss I’d started. Unfortunately I was sketchy on a lot of the details, but I was certain on one critical one: I would never be able to figure out what made this man tick unless I got close to him. Closer than I had ever been willing to be with any other man.
The slight ache in my head, not to mention in various other places where I’d strained myself to the limit struggling against the men who had grabbed me, was a warning to me that carelessness would get me in trouble.
But to start with I would need to take some more risks. Work out exactly where the line was, with him.
While Mum and Daddy were pulling things out of cupboards and the fridge to organise their own breakfasts, I directed Devin to the table, not the bench where we usually ate breakfast. I pulled out of his grasp with some regret and pointed him into a chair on the long side of the table, so I could sit next to him. Mum and Daddy took the opposite side of the table, looking a bit unhappy about it, but their usual configuration with Daddy in the nicest chair at the head and Mum to his right wasn’t going to work any more.
“I was telling Mum and Daddy about the big bash we’re going to put on,” I said, edging my chair closer to Devin’s. It shrieked as it scraped across the tile. Daddy could barely stifle his wince and Mum didn’t try.
Devin was entirely unmoved, of course. I had to try harder.
“I want it to be a really memorable event. It needs to be like one of those fairy tale shindigs: everyone who is part of this extended family I’ve been hearing about is invited.”
Devin leaned back in his seat. “That isn’t going to be possible. The Hallorans are never going to come, to begin with, and there are a few other families who are annoyed enough with things I’ve been involved with to snub an invitation. Then there’s the issue of some families that are actively feuding. Just thinking about the Italian contingent, you’re going to have to choose between the Capriottis and the Rosens, to begin with. Both, and you’re liable to have someone pull out a gun eventually. They might restrain themselves enough not to shoot, but I wouldn’t count on it with the Italians, they absolutely love going full mob with things, and the flash of a muzzle tends to ruin the event anyway.”
I tried not to burst out giggling. In the space of a handful of hours, I’d gone from possibly dying a technical virgin at the hands of unexpected captors, to getting into an engagement to a man slightly out of my league that might see me becoming very wealthy in my own right, if that man’s sense of honour worked the way I thought… to needing to work out how to not die possibly still a virgin at my wedding reception from a stray gunshot.
It was certainly going to be a good way to get to know the family, though. “Do I get some say in this? Like, can I see who the options are for our guests and weigh in on who I’d like to have there?”
Devin lowered his eyebrows at me. “Are you going to select the guests based on who will look most hot in the wedding photos?”
“I was thinking maybe the other way around. I could select the least attractive guests to enhance my own appearance.”
“I like the way you think, young woman,” said Devin.
“Ah, that pleases me the most out of anything you’ve ever done.” I wriggled my chair nearer to his again, this time more careful about the noise I was making.
Devin flinched when I reeled my body against his like he hadn’t been expecting that sort of advance, but lucky for him I wasn’t finished: I reached out with the hand furthest from him to turn his face to me with a hand on his cheek, and as that movement hid the front of my body from my hovering parents, I tugged on my dressing gown and pyjama top with my opposite hand, sliding them down. A calculated move I’d tried at parties before, which should currently be giving Devin a really good view of my cleavage. Perhaps not as nicely presented as usual with the lack of a bra, but then that was probably enabling him to see even further down.
Assuming he was looking—and he was definitely looking, though in typical Devin O’Hare form he wasn’t giving me much in the way of a normal response.
“The thing is…” I kept talking through my heart rate going through the roof, my neck and chest feeling like they were heating up. I was definitely giving him a response. “I’m kind of worried because I don’t have friends I can call on to come to a hen’s night. Isn’t that an expected part of these proceedings: a girl posse to get too drunk and feel up some muscled men in cowboy hats and not much else?”
Daddy flinched as he was shuffling over to join us at the table, and splashed milk from his cereal bowl all over the tile floor. He took another step, and slipped, barely catching himself on the table.
Devin turned his eyes away fro
m me for a moment, just long enough to show he’d witnessed the spectacle. Then his gaze passed over the wrist of my hand still holding his face, the movement doing something in my head that felt like a caress. “There will be some restrictions, just because of who you are and who I am. You can’t be allowing yourself to get so carried away you end up in a situation where you can be blackmailed. Many people will not want this wedding to go ahead, for many reasons… or they will see any opportunity to put us in an uncomfortable position quite desirable.”
Restrictions? That single word set me on edge, came too close to that remark he’d made about training I’d thought somehow we were past now, but I kept things playful for the sake of my parents. “I suppose you question my judgement and self-control because I am young and female? Maybe you think pretty girls can’t be trusted to hold their alcohol?” Well, maybe it wasn’t so playful, and a throb in my skull reminded me that Devin did have slightly good reasons for thinking I might be liable to act in a way that would seem illogical with just a little wine in me.
I thought he had seen my doubt too, the moment I realised I didn’t have a leg to stand on, but he responded calmly as if he hadn’t. “It has little to do with your nubile femininity and all to do with your inexperience in this world. Everyone who will cross paths with you will try their hardest to find the weaknesses they can exploit.”
“And I will learn, the same as anyone else,” I retorted.
As Mum sat down at the table too, Devin moved. I barely kept myself from flinching as his hand found its way under the edge of my dressing gown and, without hesitating, started to move up under the edge of my shorts too.