Booker (Courting Chaos Book 3)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “No. I mean yes. I’m used to last minute travel. Last minute changes. But no. I don’t have to go to Detroit. Lawson is making arrangements for me to fly out of Traverse City.”

  I cocked my head to the side. “Traverse City has an airport?”

  “A small one.”

  “Is that safe?”

  He shrugged. “I assume so.”

  My eyes widened. “You assume so? Then what? You’ll fly to Detroit?”

  “Paige, I don’t know. I can send you my itinerary as soon as I have it if you want me to. I’d guess I’ll connect in Saginaw, then as direct as he can get me to Boston.”

  “Ugh, you suck.” I gave him a halfhearted shove, but he didn’t go very far. Instead, he laughed.

  “I do, but why specifically do I suck right now?”

  “You’re flying out like a fucking rock star.”

  He laughed harder, slapping a hand over his stomach like it was starting to hurt from laughing too hard. “I am a rock star or have you forgotten?”

  I shook my head and attempted to glare at him. It didn’t work.

  “Wait,” he said, stopping me from speaking. “Have you ever been on an airplane?”

  “No, Booker. They usually just drove me to the next foster home in a van.” Part of me wanted to highlight exactly how different our lives had been and part of me just wanted to mess with him.

  He groaned, so my answer had worked one way or another. “Fuck. Sorry. We’re going to have to fix that.”

  I rolled my eyes but the we made my heart flutter. “Anyway, is Courting Chaos coming back to Michigan at any point?”

  He shook his head. “I haven’t memorized the schedule. I usually just get off the bus whenever it stops. I can check with Lawson. Why?”

  “I told you, I’ve never seen them… er… you, so I have to get tickets, though they’re probably sold out anyway. Kissing Cinder sells out pretty quickly, don’t they?”

  Booker leaned down and claimed my lips again, though this time I didn’t know why. Not that he needed a reason as far as I was concerned. He could touch me in anyway he wanted, anytime he wanted. I was willing.

  “I think I can get you a ticket. I have connections.” He kissed me quickly. “We’ll figure out when you can come and wherever we are, I’ll get you there.”

  I licked my lips, savoring the taste of that last kiss but then said, “You should wait until you’re in Paris. Bring me then.” I giggled and Booker laughed with me. “So, we better get you packed, right? How long do you have?” I turned my back to him and looked inside the empty duffle bag on the bed.

  My entire life I’d never been a person who cried regularly. Sure, I had cried, but I wasn’t a crier. Kids who cried had a hard time in foster care. The bigger pain you were to some of the parents, the shorter you lasted in any given place. And even if the house wasn’t the best, it was still better than constantly moving and starting a new school. Yet I could feel the tears burning the backs of my eyes at the idea of him no longer being around the house.

  “A couple of hours.”

  I nodded but said nothing because I didn’t trust my voice until I cleared my throat and swallowed down all the feelings I was suddenly having.

  “Well, we better get this done then. Your mom will kill you if you don’t make this dream happen.”

  “Yeah,” he said, but his voice sounded as off as mine did. “I didn’t bring much, so there isn’t a lot to pack. Just whatever clothes are in the dresser and the bathroom stuff.”

  “I’ll pack up your bathroom stuff.”

  I grabbed the small bag on his bed and headed for his bathroom. There wasn’t much there. Deodorant. An electric razor. Though I snorted at the razor because I didn’t think he’d used it in a few days, as evidenced by the shadow of a beard dusting his jaw. A few more days and it’d be a full one, but damn, it was so sexy I wasn’t sure I wanted him to have it on the road. As if he needed any help at grabbing a woman’s attention.

  “That was everything,” I said, tossing the toiletries bag into the duffle. “How are you getting to the airport?”

  “Figured I’d drive the rental. Leave it there and let Lawson deal with it.” He shoved two pairs of jeans into the bag.

  “How will he take care of it if he’s on the road with you?” I asked.

  Booker shrugged. “He’ll hire someone to return it I’d guess. I’m not even sure where the nearest branch is, honestly.”

  “I’ll take you.”

  His head popped up and he looked at me with surprise and confusion.

  “Unless you need to leave the car there,” I added.

  “It’s not that. Most people don’t offer an airport run.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip, not having had any way of knowing that. “I just thought it’d be a little extra time together.”

  “I’ll take it. All packed.” He zipped up the bag and patted the top of it. Men were so lucky. They could travel so lightly. “I probably should let my parents know that I’m leaving in a bit.”

  “Yeah. I’ll go back to my room.”

  “Wait.” He grabbed my wrist to stop me, then turned me back around to him. “Wait here for me?”

  I nodded in agreement, then he left.

  Being alone in Booker’s room offered so many options. I could ransack his drawers, though they were likely empty considering we’d just packed up what little clothing he brought with him. I could rummage through his closet, but how awful would that make me? I didn’t want to invade his privacy.

  Instead, I climbed up onto his bed and settled right in the middle to wait. He wasn’t gone long. When he came through the door he stopped dead, put his hands on his hips, and dropped his head like he was looking at the floor but his eyes were squeezed shut.

  “What?” I asked, thinking that one of two things had happened. Either things hadn’t gone well with his parents or there was an issue with me sitting on his bed the way I was. Not sure which since they were more accustomed to him leaving than me.

  He lifted his head to look at me with heated eyes. “You’re in my bed.”

  My heart thudded against my chest bone. “Oh, shit. Sorry.” I began to slide across the comforter. It hadn’t occurred to me that he wouldn’t want me there. People could have weird hang-ups about their belongings. Though I hadn’t pegged Booker to be one.

  He jumped forward with his hand extended to stop me. “Don’t move.”

  “So stay? I’m confused.”

  Booker took two large steps, then hopped up on the bed with me, hovering over me, boxing me in. “I was memorizing the picture of you in my head. For after I leave.”

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  Booker slowly lowered himself until his full body pressed against mine as he settled himself between my legs. Both of my hands came to rest on his face as I got lost in his kisses. These weren’t the fast and furious kisses we’d shared before. No, these were soft and slow, both of us savoring the other. He slid my shirt off, then got rid of his own. If we had precious few moments together, this was how we were going to spend them.

  He played my body the way he played his bass. Sometimes gently and others rough. Sliding his hands across me the way they did over the strings on his instrument. Booker knew exactly where I wanted him and exactly what I needed while he was there. The great multitasker’s mouth stayed on me while at the same time keeping me guessing about where he’d go next as he also pulled the drawer on the nightstand open and grabbed for a condom.

  This time, I rolled the condom down his length as he watched me, excitement dancing in his eyes. Then I pushed him over onto his back, climbed on top of him, and slid down onto him. He dropped his head back with a loud thump against the headboard and he closed his eyes. I waited, both giving him time to recover and me time to acclimate. Me on top was a whole different feel than it’d been last night. A sensation I could become addicted to.

  Then I began to move. Slowly at first with Booker’s hands on my hips to guide me. He let me
take control and honestly, I’d never wanted to do that with anyone else. But with him, I wanted him to remember everything about this moment. And hopefully me in this moment.

  “Whoa,” he said, pulling me down on him with a tight enough grasp that I couldn’t move. “You gotta give me a minute or this is gonna be over before either of us want it to be.”

  I pushed some hair behind my head and leaned into his chest to kiss him.

  “And you might want to quiet down a little or my parents will hear you,” he added.

  My head snapped up, my eyes wide with horror. “What? I’m being loud?”

  “Look.” He brushed that lock of hair back, as I had. “I don’t care. I thought you might, though.”

  When I stammered, unsure of what to say, Booker flipped us over and pushed back inside me. This time, he moved slowly, more of a caress than the hard strokes I’d been doing. I could’ve stayed here with him forever. If he weren’t leaving, of course.

  Booker coaxed pleasure out of me with the skill of someone who knew exactly what they were doing. Even mote that they knew what they were doing to me and how exactly to do it to me. We’d only been together the one other time, yet he was gentle when I wanted him to be and rough when I wanted him to but I never had to tell him either. As if my quite noises and moans was the map he needed to follow.

  This time my orgasm didn’t come fast and hard as it had last night. This time it was a quiet rumbling that came as waves crashing against my body again and again until I was breathless. Time meant nothing as my body went limp beneath his. I needed a moment to recover before actively trying to give him the pleasure he’d given me.

  Once he’d finished, we lay there, tired and happy for a while before either of us finally spoke.

  “We have to get dressed,” he said quietly against the skin on my shoulder. He sucked on the spot, which I hadn’t previously known to be sensitive to such things. Then again every touch of his lips felt new and exciting.

  “Have to?” I murmured without opening my eyes.

  “Unless you want to go to the airport naked.”

  “That wouldn’t bother security at all.” I opened one eye just enough to see him. “Or get on the gossip sites.”

  “Yeah, that would suck even more.”

  “Fine,” I said with a sigh. I stood up because if I didn’t do it right then, I never would.

  We dressed in silence at first. Until I opened my stupid mouth said, “So, those moments when it seemed like I just starfished under you… ”

  Booker pinched his face as he looked at me. “Starfished?”

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. I thought everyone had heard that saying before. I spread my feet shoulder width apart and a held my arms out parallel to the floor. “Starfished.”

  Booker’s laugh filled the room and I thought it’d never end. “What?” he finally asked.

  “I went limp. I wasn’t participating. I’m just saying… I needed to recover. I didn’t want you to think something was wrong and now I’m thinking I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

  “No. Come here.” He reached out and took my hands in his then pulled me closer. “I get it. I knew what was going on.”

  “You did?” I looked up at him.

  “Yeah. I get it. Actually, the fact that you had to recover is a huge turn on. Means I’m doing something right.”

  “More like doing everything right,” I mumbled knowing full well that he’d hear me.

  “Everything.”

  I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and nodded. “Everything.” At first I didn’t think I’d give away too much but then decided if we were going to make this work, honesty and oversharing might’ve been needed. “Everything as in last night and today… best experiences of my life.”

  “Well damn. That’s a huge turn on too.” He kissed me softly but with so much intent that I was tempted to push him back onto the bed. “I really wish I didn’t have to leave right now,” he said against my lips before dropping another kiss on me. “Paige,” he said with a husky quality that shot pleasure through my body. “I feel exactly the same way.”

  I doubted that given his likely experiences but I wouldn’t say that. I didn’t want to know about his past.

  Before we left the room, Booker brought me in for another kiss. This one felt more like goodbye than anything else. Of course it was goodbye. The private kind of goodbye anyway.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Booker

  When the itinerary said that I was flying out of Traverse City, confirming what the guys had told me, I thought I’d just drive myself until Paige offered to take me. There was no way I’d turn that down.

  After we both got dressed, I took her hand in one of mine and my bag in the other. We really had to get a move on if I was would to catch my puddle jumper out of Traverse City. And we almost made it to the door before my parents stopped us.

  “You’re really going?” Dad asked but didn’t get up from the table where he sat across from Mom.

  “Yup. I need to get back.”

  He shook his head. “I guess that’s you’re call.” He may have said the words, there was exactly zero happiness or encouragement behind them.

  “It is,” I said back then looked to Mom, pleading with my eyes for her to end this. I had to go.

  “Well, come give me one last hug before you go.” Mom waved her hand my way.

  That was something I’d never turn down. I dropped the bag, and Paige’s hand, to cross the room and give my mom what she wanted. She held onto me for a while. A long while before finally letting me go.

  “Take care of yourself,” Mom said when I stood back up. “Call more.”

  “I’ll try.”

  I gave Dad a curt nod. He gave one back but we didn’t have anything else to say to each other.

  Outside, Paige insisted we take her car for her to drive me to the airport. The upside to her taking me? I got the time with her. The downside? It wasn’t a lot of time. We did get to talk, but she mostly kept the topic to being on the road. She hadn’t traveled much… or at all, so the idea of me having been everywhere intrigued her. I didn’t care what we talked about as long as I got to see her smile, hear her laughter, and watch her mouth move as it formed words.

  At the airport, I didn’t check my bag because I only had the one and my laptop was in there if I got bored.

  “This is as far as I can go,” Paige said quietly beside me.

  “Yeah,” I said, but I stood there awkwardly. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet.

  Paige bounced on her toes and clasped her right bicep with her left hand as if nervous energy prevented her from standing still.

  “You OK?” I asked her.

  “It’s safe, though, right? This place looks pretty small, but it’s safe, right?” Her eyebrows scrunched down as she looked up at me.

  I gave her a half-smile. This was pretty adorable. “You worried about me?”

  “Well, duh.”

  “Paige.” I pulled her over to the side away from the other people. “It’s fine. Totally safe. I’ll text you updates.”

  “You don’t have to.” She swallowed hard. “But yeah. Do that. I’m just not used to the lifestyle you live. You seem to be taking everything with a grain of salt but you’re about to get on this plane that looks smaller than you. It’s scary.”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty weird but it’s not scary. I’ve done this before which is why I go with the flow.” I leaned down to her height. “But we’ll figure it out, right?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  It sounded like she was trying to brush it off, but that her heart wasn’t feeling it. There was something else there. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.

  “What’s really going on?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” She looked away from me as if something to the right had suddenly became extremely interesting.

  “Paige,” I nudged gently.

  Her gaze came back to me. “It’s just… ” The bouncing star
ted again. “We haven’t talked about this”—she waved a hand between us—“fully, I guess. I don’t want to sound clingy or demanding because I’m neither of those things, I promise, but I do need to know where I stand.”

  “Where you stand?”

  She rolled her eyes. Clearly, whatever she was trying to say made her uncomfortable and I didn’t want to make it worse, but I didn’t understand. She needed to be clear with me.

  “I’m not asking for declarations, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she finally said.

  Oh. Oh, shit. I should’ve known.

  Now I smiled widely at her. “Paige, I don’t want to see anyone else. I’d like to see where this leads, wouldn’t you?”

  Our gazes locked as the stress lines marring her beautiful face flattened and changed into a small grin.

  “You don’t have to make that promise,” she said. “We barely know each other, really. I just—”

  “I know you and you know me better than most people in my life at this point.”

  “I’m just saying, I don’t want to be surprised, ya know? So if you’re going to gallivant or whatever you rock-star-types call it, just give me a heads-up is all so I don’t catch you on the gossip sites.”

  “Don’t read the gossip sites and there will be no gallivanting.”

  “But if that changes… ”

  “You’ll be the first to know.” I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. She’d left her hair down. That was how I wanted to picture her every single lonely night. Paige seemed more concerned with being surprised by me with other women than the actual idea of me being with other women. That was a doubt I wanted to erase. I would erase. Because I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I’d had the opportunity since age sixteen. Sure, I’d taken advantage of it here or there but now I wasn’t interested. “I really have to go, though.”

  “I know.”

  Before releasing her, I brought us together for one more kiss. Nothing inappropriate, but something we’d both for sure remember. Then I had to walk away. It took all my willpower not to look back, but if I did and saw her standing there alone, I might not have gotten on the plane.