The Adventures of Blackcat

by Nikolaj Vigrim

  'What's up with you two?' asked Mariana.

  'We are looking for Blackcat's mojo and can't find it anywhere,' said the Penguins.

  'A mojo is not something you can see, it's not made of wood or rock or plastic. It's something inside you. It's the magic that makes you tick. I'll help Blackcat find his mojo.'

  Mariana was very deep, cosmic even. She knew what people were thinking, even before they thought it. She could read the stars and what's more, was a dab hand in the kitchen when all the animals and dolls had their monthly midnight feast. Having spent a week on the top shelf above the cooker and watched Sofie's every move, she could now make wicked chocolate brownies

  She went over to the bedraggled Blackcat who was still lying in a tangled heap on the desk, sat down beside him and gently stroked his fur.

  'I'll help you find your magic,' she whispered in his ear.

  So, the next evening when Louise and Zozo had finally gone to sleep, Mariana set about finding Blackcat's mojo.

  'You haven't lost it,' she said to Blackcat, 'You just have to find it again.'

  'Clear as mud,' thought Blackcat but didn't say anything as Mariana was all sweetness and she did mean well. His mojo was lost and no one was going to find it.

  'When did you last have your mojo?' she asked. 'When did you last fly through glass?'

  'A few days back,' said Blackcat, sounding exhausted. 'I flew out like usual but had a really bad day. I went home to Bali to see my friend. Did you know that I'm a Balinese cat? I fought headwinds, hail and rain all the way there only to find that a large tabby had moved in her. I was a bit distracted and not paying attention, and on the way back flew right into a thunderstorm over the Australian desert, got zapped by a thunderbolt and crashed through a thorn bush ending up in a big muddy puddle fill of bitey things.'

  'When I got back here and went to fly in through the window...BOFF! I was flat out on the lawn and came to all wet and gooey being chewed by Cabo, the guide dog puppy. Yuck! And now I can't do it, I can't fly through glass. I've lost my mojo.'

  'I would have lost my mojo too if I had had a night like that,' said Mariana, stroking Blackcat's head.

  'Now, let's get it back,' said Mariana, fixing Blackcat with her hypnotic stare. She talked in a soothing voice while gently stroking Blackcat's fur. 'Imagine you have taken off from the desk and are flying around the room warming your wings up. Now you make a wide circle around the solar system and turn towards the window gathering speed as you go. There is no glass; you are aiming at a point just above the neighbour's fence. You feel a shadow flicker through you as you pass through the glass then you are over the fence and aiming for the clouds.'

  All was silent.

  'Blackcat, WAKE UP!'

  Blackcat stirred and rubbed a paw over his face and ears.

  'Blackcat, you have your mojo back,' said Mariana.

  'Great,' said Blackcat as he launched himself off the desk and flew around the room. He focused himself on where he was off to and aimed at a point just above the neighbour's fence.

  SPLAT! He flew straight into the window.

  Zozo jumped and turned the light on just in time to see Blackcat somersaulting across the floor.

  'Cat,' she said picking up Blackcat, 'You can go in there,' and she plopped Blackcat into the jam jar full of water where Dad the Diver and the hammerheads lived. She shut the lid, put the jar on the desk and shuffled off down the corridor in the direction of Mum's bed.

  Blackcat did not like it in the jam jar. It was wet, very wet; wet and smelly because Zozo hadn't changed the water in weeks. Wet and smelly and Dad's bubbles tickled his belly. The hammerheads were worrying him too. They'd been circling around the outside of the jar but now the circles were getting smaller and they kept bumping to him. He didn't like it at all. Then something big and toothy bit the end of his tail.

  'YOWL!' screeched Blackcat and swam towards Mariana who he could see sitting by the lamp. He felt the flicker of a shadow pass through him and there he was, wet, dripping and sporting a broken and slightly chewed tail, on the desk beside her.

  Wet, dripping and sore, but happy...he had found his mojo!

  Chapter 5 - The Penguins take off

  Blackcat curled up and slept. He curled up on the corner of the window sill, hidden from view by the curtain and slept in the warm sunshine. He dozed for days. Mariana was worried and hobbled over to where he lay to see what was wrong.

  'Just tired', said Blackcat. 'I'm all aches and pains.'

  P1 and P2 were concerned too. They thought they were to blame.

  'Maybe we were too heavy for you?' they said.

  'You were a bit of a payload to take to the ends of the earth,' replied Blackcat, 'but it was such a pleasure to have you along. We'll have to do it again.'

  'We were too heavy. Next time we'll fly.'

  'But penguins can't fly,' said Blackcat.

  'Nor can cats!'

  'But I have wings!'

  'Lulu stuck them on with sellotape!'

  'They work. They work well,' said Blackcat.

  'We've got flippers. We're birds. Birds can fly,' argued P1 and P2.

  'You're right,' said Blackcat. 'Let's get you two airborne. I'll need a couple of days more rest first.'

  P1 and P2 couldn't wait. They sat on the window sill next to Blackcat and watched the sparrows and blackbirds that hopped about on the lawn. Looking up towards the sky they caught a glimpse of seagulls way up high, soaring amongst the clouds. The sparrows and blackbirds took off by making a quick hop then flapping their wings quickly, so quickly that they were a blur. They never flew very far, just over to the fence or the neighbour's roof. They didn't go far but they could fly.

  'Let's try,' said P1. 'Not over the edge this time. We'll get it sussed first.'

  First they practiced flapping their flippers. They were great for swimming but that was a sort of slow swish with a flick at the end. To fly they had to flap them like a sparrow's wings. They stood on the table in the dolls' house, flapped their flippers like mad and jumped across to land on the bed. It made for great entertainment for the dolls and animals but they were no closer to flying. No way!

  'Well,' said P2, 'I don't think this is the way to go. We are not going to reach the South Pole by flapping. Those little birds that flap only go as far as the next snail or to play poo into the peg basket from the washing line. We need to soar like seagulls, that's the way to go.'

  So they tried gliding and soaring. It was a little tricky when standing on a chair but they bent forward, stuck their flippers out and made swooshing noises.

  'We need to go over the edge,' said P1.

  So they did. 'A one, a two and a three, GERONIMO!' they shouted and jumped into the void.

  CRASH! SMASH! Before they knew what was happening they were in Zozo's jar with the hammerheads circling closer and closer. Luckily Dad the Diver took a fancy to the two little penguins and tucked them inside his wetsuit out of harm's way. Once Zoe had gone back to sleep he flicked them out of the jar. They lay on the desk in a little pool of smelly water feeling sad and dejected. Maybe penguins couldn't fly.

  Blackcat was soon back on form. He had come out of his slumber and gone hunting. He was still a bit slow and stiff and he did have problems with his tail, but he managed to almost catch 8 lizards. Once they had stopped wriggling, 8 lizards' tails made a good feed and before long his coat was shiny again and he had the old sparkle back in his eye.

  'P1 and P2,' he asked, 'do you penguins have names?'

  'Yes,' said P1, 'I'm Perflip and P2 is Ferplip.'

  'Perfip, Furflip, Pha...pha..pha, Flipper,' stammered Blackcat struggling to get his tongue around their names, not that he tell which one was which, they both looked exactly the same. 'I'll stick with calling you P1 and P2.'

  'That's fine,' said P2.

  'Are you penguins flying yet?' asked Blackcat.

  'Well, not exactly,' they replied. 'Penguins weren't meant to fly.'

  'Nor were cats. You ju
st have to think a little out of the square, to use your noggin. Mariana has ying and yang. We have to use zing and zang!'

  'Use your noggin?' asked the Penguins.

  'Yes, use your noggin. I can pass through glass by putting myself on the other side before I get there. It's a bit the same with the way I fly. Wings help, but the main thing is the destination. You don't flap or soar. You just get up a little speed, think of the place you are heading for, stick out your wings and a whole different set of aerodynamic and hydroponic principles slip into place. Zing and zang, wing and wang. It's surprising one of those mad Scotsmen tinkering in his garden shed never figured it out. You have to put your mind first then OFF YOU GO!'

  'So do we start off by flying through glass or travelling at warp factor 5 though the stratophere,' said P1 sounding very slightly sarcastic. He had had enough of this fling lark.

  'BOTH,' said Blackcat, 'but you have to believe. You have already flown through glass and to the poles and back because you believed I could do it. It's only a small step for you two penguins to do it yourselves. We'll start off the edge of the desk. It's just the right height.'

  'But, but, but,' protested P1 and P2, 'We will end up with the hammerheads again!'

  'Don't worry about them. We will be out the window, around the Sky Tower and back again before you know it. Don't try and flap. Don't hold your flippers right out like a seagull, well not just yet. We'll do that when we glide back. Angle them right back and just stick to my wingtips. Think Sky Tower, a 1, and a 2 and a 3, GO!'

  They jumped over the edge and down, down they fell towards the floor. Just before they hit, it happened. Their little flippers started to get bite in the air. They sped up, swooped around the room and flew out the window.

  Chapter 6 - Blackcat goes Hunting

  Blackcat loved to hunt. He loved to stalk through the long grass and pounce on lizards, frogs and mice. He liked to scrunch on freshly caught grasshoppers. Grasshoppers were easy. Blackcat would laze in the long grass pretending to sleep then when a hopper hopped too close he would pounce, trapping it in his paws. Then scrunch, munch, lunch!

  But a cat, especially one like Blackcat whose hobby was global air travel needed more fuel than a few grasshoppers. He needed a belly full of mice and lizards.

  Blackcat had a problem - camouflage. He might have been alright in a children's clothing store stalking the mice that lived under the counter, but out in the garden or on the grassy slopes of Mt Victoria he kind of stood out. You see, Blackcat was not black. His wings were but the rest of him was painted bright pink, bright pink with little yellow flowers. The little yellow flowers might have helped him hide in the daisies but what small advantage was gained was lost by the little silver bell that hung around his neck. It tinkled when he moved, it jingled when he jangled. It had a lovely ring but did nothing to help him catch a mouse or a lizard. As for birds, forget about it! He had never caught a bird. At the very end of Blackcat was the tip of his tail. He had a very long pink tail that stood straight up in the air. The tip of his tail was bright yellow like a little warning sign, 'CAT HUNTING - BEWARE! Blackcat is coming, fly, get away!'

  To make matters worse, when Blackcat got excited the tip of his tail glowed. The closer Blackcat stalked to his prey the more excited he got and the more excited he got the brighter his tail glowed. The best times for hunting were dawn and dusk and in the half light his tail shouted, ' Run, scurry, fly away! Blackcat didn't complain. He felt that he was the luckiest cat in the world. He could fly!

  But he was very skinny, scrawny even. Mariana fussed over him, 'There's nothing of you,' she said. 'You must eat more.'

  'But hunting is so tricky, said Blackcat, 'I do enjoy a good challenge, but the deck is stacked against me when it comes to hunting. I love hunting so, so much, almost more than I love flying, but the birds and lizards always escape at the last minute however sneaky I try to be. I really cannot live on a diet of grasshoppers and lizards tails. I've been getting so hungry that I've been eating worms!'

  Mariana reached into her little girly bag and fished out a pair of scissors. She snipped about in the air menacingly.

  'No, no,' pleaded Blackcat. 'You are not, not to snip the end of my tail off. I'd rather go hungry.'

  Snip, snip, snip, went Mariana's scissors as she set about shearing one of Zoe's sheep. Snip, snip, snip she went and off came its fleece. Mariana stayed up late the next morning. When all the dolls and animals were snoozing she sat there and knitted. By the evening she had two little presents for Blackcat, all wrapped up in special paper with mice on it.

  Blackcat carefully unwrapped to first one and opened it. It was empty!

  'Thank you very much Mariana,' he said. 'But haven't you forgotten something?'

  'Not at all,' said Mariana.

  'But, it's empty!'

  'Not at all. Think of a tune.'

  She was always so oblique.

  Blackcat thought of the Greenday tune Louise had been playing on her stereo and the little bell played it out in a wonderfully tinkly tone.

  'Now, think you are hunting a mouse,' said Mariana.

  Blackcat crouched down low, stalked across the desk and pounced on P1. Not a tinkle!

  'Oh, thank you Mariana.'

  'Now look in the second parcel.'

  Blackcat tore the wrapping of and pulled out what looked like a black sock. 'A sock,' said Blackcat leaning over and putting it on his left front foot. 'Have you counted my legs lately?'

  'No, no, no,' said Mariana laughing. 'Put it on your tail. I'll help.'

  She dived on Blackcat and wrestled the sock off his front leg and stuck it on the tip of his tail. 'Now off you go!'

  Blackcat gave her a little kiss on both cheeks (making her blush a little) and launched himself off the table and vanished into the twilight.

  The next day he was full of it. Proudly sporting the battle scars from the giant rat that got away, he told of the mouse, the frog, six lizards (oddly not one of them had a tail) and a swallow he caught. 'It was so cute,' he whispered to Mariana. 'Just a little scared bundle of feathers. I just couldn't kill it. Mice, yes. Rats, maybe. Lizards, yes. Frogs, yum! Birds, no. Don't tell the other cats!'

  Chapter 7 - Blackcat Goes Back in Time

  Blackcat had a new set of wings. Lulu cut them out of white paper, covered them with spots of all different colours and superglued them on to Blackcat's back. He couldn't wait to try them out.

  There was a new mouse pad on Lulu's desk. It was blue with white circles spiralling in towards the middle. The Penguins, P1 and P2 were playing a game, trying to be the one standing right in the vortex in the middle. They squabbled and squawked and pushed each out out of the way.

  Suddenly...Plip!

  They disappeared!

  'You had better go look for them,' said Marianne to Blackcat. 'There's no saying what trouble they'll get up to.'

  Blackcat stood in the middle of the vortex.

  The room started spinning, faster and faster and he felt himself falling. Around him everything went in reverse really quickly as time tumbled backwards. He saw Lulu grow younger and become a baby, the house un-build itself, the trees fall back up, the Maoris departing, Mt Victoria un-erupting, the land disappeared under the sea then came up again, weird plants grew down, then the dinosaurs arrived. Then time stopped and Blackcat tumbled into thick gooey mud on top of the Penguins.

  'Ouch, get off,' squawked P1.

  'My flipper, my flipper, get off!' protested P2.

  Blackcat pulled himself up onto the roots of a tree while the Penguins splashed around in the mud.

  Blackcat's new wings were all in tatters and he was covered from top to toe in brown mud.

  Bomph! Bomph! Bomph! Bomph! Bomph!

  The ground shook as giant foot steps reverberated through the dark jungle.

  Smash! Crash! Bash!

  A tall tree toppled down, blasting Blackcat with leaves and there stood a huge dinosaur, towering tall like a sky scraper. It lifted a huge foo
t in the air and smashed it down into the muddy puddle, sending a tsunami of goop and penguins washing over Blackcat, then crashed off through the jungle.

  'Wow, what was that?' asked the Penguins.

  'Tyrannosaurus Rex,' said Blackcat, 'We've gone back in time.'

  'Let's go exploring,' said the Penguins.

  Pushing their way through giant leaves and bouncing across springy beds of moss, Blackcat and the Penguins headed off through the jungle leaving a trail of muddy footprints. Whistles and hoots filled the air and huge centipedes scurried about. It was so scary!

  Suddenly a raptor crashed out of the ferns behind them. Blackcat and the Penguins ran. They reached a clearing and ran out into the sunlight. Penguins aren't that quick on land, a quick shuffle is the fastest they can go and in no time the raptor was on them. They were done for!

  Whoooosh!

  A jumbo sized Pterodactyl swooped down and plucked the raptor into the air in its sharp talons then circled around and let fly.

  Ploop!

  Pterodactyl poop rained down on Blackcat and the Penguins burying them under a truckload of white smelly goop.

  Oops! thought Blackcat as it set to concrete. We're in the poo. We're going to be fossilised here for the the next two million years!

  Smash! Crash! Bash!

  Something big smashed the poo apart. Blackcat and the Penguins ran. There was something big after them but they didn't dare look around. Following their trail of muddy footprint, they bashed their way back through the jungle going as quickly as they could, the monster crashing along behind them. They reached the puddle and dove head first into the mud.

  Blackcat's world whizzed around like he was in a washing machine on spin cycle and him and the Penguins were spat out of the wormhole back onto Lulu's desk.

  'Phew, that was close!' said Blackcat as he picked himself up.

  Plit!

  Suddenly a huge Stegosaurus rolled out of the time tunnel, knocking over the animals and sending Lulu's pens crashing to the floor.

  He scrambled to his feet and charged at Blackcat and the Penguins.

  There was no escape from him this time. Just as he reached them, Marianne flicked her wand and turned Stegosaurus to plastic.