Attempted Adventuring (The Attempted Vampirism Series Book 2)

by L. G. Estrella

  “I hope they’ve been taking good care of you.” She rubbed his fur affectionately and checked him for any injuries.

  I’m fine. Roger took his spot on her shoulder and pressed his face into her hair. There were a lot of crabs, but Eric and Blue Scales held them off, so I could use my magic to blast them.

  “Good.” She turned and bowed deeply to Blue Scales and Eric. “Thank you for taking care of Roger. If you ever need anything just ask.” She grinned impishly. “Yeah, I know he can be a troublesome raccoon to deal with, but he’s my troublesome raccoon if you know what I mean.”

  Eric bared his teeth in a grin and growled.

  Susannah smirked. “Yes, he does have a knack for finding trouble.” Sensing his surprise, her smirk widened. “Yes, I do speak werewolf. My grandpa is a werewolf, and I picked up a few things from his side of the family.”

  Eric changed back into his human form. “Your grandpa must be powerful if you can understand the speech of werewolves without being one yourself.”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty tough for an old guy.”

  Aria covered her face with one hand and looked away. “Eric, put on some clothes.”

  The werewolf cackled and struck a pose. “Why? Do you see something you like?”

  Eileen held up a sign and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. I do.

  “Don’t encourage him,” Aria muttered. “Just put on some clothes.”

  “Hey, the gods created us naked. I’m only doing what nature intended.” Eric held out his hand, and Blue Scales tossed him his spear. “Besides, I’m a werewolf. Nudity doesn’t bother us since we almost always destroy our clothes when we transform – at least until we get older and more powerful.”

  Just be glad he doesn’t do this in front of clients. Eileen chuckled.

  “Great. Just give him some clothes.”

  Eileen chortled as one of her shadow imps emerged with some clothes. Susannah raised one eyebrow. Did Eric destroy his clothes often enough for them to have contingencies in place? And there goes the view.

  “Who knows?” Eric said playfully. “I might have to shred these if more crabs turn up. I think I had more success fighting the crabs as a werewolf.” He paused and looked around. “I don’t suppose any of you have seen our favourite vampire and butler? I’d be more worried, but Miles is one tough fellow. Jonathan is getting better too even if his survival seems like an accident half the time – and there is always his backup plan.”

  Susannah had a rough idea of what that might be – her senses were very keen – but she’d keep it to herself until they told her. People tended not to mention they had the spirit of an ancient vampire clinging onto them, and he must be concealing it for a good reason. “Hopefully, they won’t take too long. This place is crawling with crabs. We need to get the sword and leave.”

  Aria nodded and peered at the hall. Susannah watched her carefully. The former paladin was no slouch in a fight, but she wasn’t a match for Eric, Blue Scales, or Eileen in pure combat prowess. Where she excelled was battlefield tactics and strategy. There was a reason the others listened to her. “I know, but we need to wait for them. We can’t move the sword without Jonathan unless one of you is secretly a vampire noble.”

  Susannah held up her hands. “Nope. I’m part werewolf although there have always been rumours about one of my ancestors running off with a vampire.”

  Aria tilted her head to one side. “Really? You’ve got an interesting family tree.”

  Susannah scratched the back of her head. “We take some getting used to.”

  It took several more minutes before the final members of the group showed up. Miles led the way, looking every bit the aged, veteran warrior he was with a gore-covered war hammer held in his hands. Behind him, looking far more harried and more than a bit traumatised, was Jonathan. The vampire’s war hammer was also covered in gore, but he looked much less confident with the weapon. The spirit lantern on his back wasn’t glowing, but it radiated an icy, angry sort of heat. Aria must have felt it too from the way she flinched. Interesting. She wondered if it had anything to do with the ghosts she’d seen throughout Mordrath. There were more of them down here, but there hadn’t been any time to investigate, not with the crabs to worry about.

  “Hey!” Eric waved jauntily. “It took you guys long enough.”

  “We were delayed.” Miles nodded at his war hammer. “Thankfully, we were able to work through the problem.”

  “So how many did you have to kill to get here?” Eric asked.

  “Rather more than I’d hoped to,” Jonathan replied. “But can we get moving? I’d prefer to avoid any further fighting if I can. I do believe they might be sending stronger crabs soon. I used [Scry] earlier. There were a lot more of them around. They were busy with something else, but I doubt they’ll stay that way for long.”

  “Right.” Aria gestured. “There should be one more major gateway to get through before we can reach the sword.”

  Eric made a disgusted sound. “Let’s hope it’s not as annoying as the one we ran into. Not only were more crabs behind it but it was also a total hassle to operate in the first place. Imagine having a door that takes so long to open – maybe that’s why the dwarves lost. Their reinforcements couldn’t get through the door fast enough.”

  Sadly, Eric was right to be worried. When they reached the doorway, Susannah barely managed to restrain her laughter as the werewolf unleashed a long string of curses. “Seriously? Who even builds things like this?”

  “Dwarves,” Jonathan pointed out. “Admittedly, they were dwarves who delved too deep and got wiped out by evil necromancy-wielding crabs, but dwarves are known for their love of overly large and overly complicated mechanical devices.” He paused. “Which would go some way to explaining many of the calamities they’ve suffered over the years.”

  “I can believe that,” Eric muttered. Werewolves were not known for their love of mechanical devices although they were happy enough to make use of anything that had proven its worth.

  The gateway was actually more of a drawbridge. In theory, it could be lowered to span a vast chasm. However, it had been drawn up, and a quick glance suggested that any Words or magic strong enough to bring it down would likely bring down a significant chunk of the area as well. To make matters worse, the defences around the gateway were still in place. Oh, sure, there were other ways to reach the corridor, but they were either flooded or would take them far too close to where Jonathan had felt the crabs gathering.

  The mechanisms that controlled the gateway were still active as well, but they were set into the wall alongside it – a wall over the chasm with no platforms or ledges to stand on, which made her wonder how the dwarves had operated it in the first place. There must have been other devices to help bridge the gap. Unfortunately, the control mechanisms were protected by barriers of fire and lightning. Good grief. Eric might be onto something. Maybe the dwarves had been wiped out because they couldn’t move their troops through this area fast enough.

  “This could be tricky,” Jonathan whispered. The scholar had turned his gaze to the contraption. “We’ll need both fire and lightning magic to bypass the barriers that operate the gateway. That limits our options. Blue Scales can control lightning, but he’d have to use water to douse the flames, which the crabs might notice. It could also trigger even more defences.”

  Fire and lightning? Susannah grinned. “I have a plan.”

  “Oh?” Aria was also trying to puzzle out a solution. “Whoever goes will have to either hang onto the wall or rely on Eileen to fly them there.”

  That won’t work. Eileen shook her head. My shadow imps noticed other defences. Anything that tries to fly over there is going to regret it. Those defences might ignore me if I’m small enough, but then I wouldn’t be able to carry anyone.

  “Like I said,” Susannah continued. “I have a plan.” She smirked evilly. “Roger can control fire and lightning, and he’s not very big.”

  “What are you thinking?” Ari
a asked. Roger must have realised what she had planned because he shook his head and tried to scamper off, but Susannah grabbed him before he could make his escape. “And why is he trying to run away?”

  “It’s simple. We’re going to toss him.”

  There was dead silence before Eric burst out laughing. “Can I do it?”

  Blue Scales eyed the raccoon intently. Unlike Eric, his expression was serious. “I should do it. I’m stronger than you when you’re in your human form, and your werewolf form isn’t great at throwing things.”

  Why do I have to be tossed? Roger gestured wildly and looked at Jonathan and Eileen, the only other people who could understand him. The shape-shifter shrugged, and the vampire pointedly looked away. Come on! Toss someone else! What about Blue Scales?

  “Roger,” Susannah said. “The only one strong enough to toss Blue Scales is Eileen, and that’s not going to work. You’re the only one who is small and who also specialises in both fire and lightning. You’re also good at climbing.”

  But…

  Aria gave the raccoon what could only be described as her best leadership look. “Believe me, Roger, we understand how… awkward this must be, but you are the only one who can do this. Please. We need your help.” When Roger continued to look utterly unconvinced, she sighed. “Fine. Let’s vote.”

  Not surprisingly, the only person who voted against tossing Roger was, well, Roger. Only Jonathan looked apologetic. In contrast, Eric was upset – because he wouldn’t be the one throwing the raccoon.

  “Sorry, buddy.” Susannah was totally not sorry. “But it looks like you’re going on a little flight.” She handed Roger to Blue Scales. “Here you go.”

  “Hmm…” The massive merman took a few moments to get accustomed to Roger’s weight in his hands. “I am confident I can make the distance. Brace yourself, my friend, and keep your limbs tucked against your body until you reach the wall.”

  “Just be careful,” Susannah said. “He has a tendency to drift slightly to the right when you throw him, maybe one yard to the right for every twenty yards forward.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Blue Scales drew his arm back. “On the count of three. One, two… three!”

  The sound Roger made as he sailed through the air toward the wall was somewhere between a wail and the raccoon equivalent of a drawn-out expletive.

  “Do I want to know what he’s saying?” Blue Scales asked.

  “Nope.” Susannah waved cheerfully. Roger could be very creative sometimes.

  He managed to scream a few more expletives before he landed on the wall. His claws dug into the rock, and he clung to it with all his might. He may have been a war wizard, but he was still a raccoon. Climbing came naturally to him. It took him a few seconds before he was confident enough in his grip to begin moving toward the closest control mechanism. Naturally, that was when crabs began to emerge from the chasm and climb the wall.

  Roger screeched and jabbed one paw at the crabs.

  “I think he wants us to do something about the crabs,” Eric drawled. “Although I could be wrong.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what he wants,” Aria muttered before raising her voice. “You’ll be fine, Roger. Just worry about getting the gateway open. We’ll protect you.”

  “Don’t worry!” Susannah shouted. “We won’t let the crabs get you… until you get the gateway open.”

  Roger shook one fist at her and turned back to the control mechanism with renewed zeal. The rest of them got to work on the crabs. If the crustaceans got Roger, this was over. They’d be trapped. Susannah prioritised clumps of crabs, using some exploding arrows to knock them off the wall. She doubted they were dead, but she didn’t need to kill them. She only needed to keep them away from Roger. Blue Scales used bursts of water and bolts of lightning. There was no need to worry about being discovered anymore. The crabs were already here.

  Aria relied on an assortment of Words, none of which were ideal, but they only needed to knock the crabs off the wall. Bolts of radiance could do the job well enough. As for Eileen, the shape-shifter had turned into some kind of quill-covered beast, and she was busy shooting quills as some of her summons scrambled onto the wall to start fighting the crabs. Swarms of insect-like creatures stung at the crabs’ eyes and joints, and the shadow imps were actually doing a decent job of pelting the crabs with a seemingly never-ending supply of wooden signs. The summons weren’t killing the crabs, but they were knocking them off the wall. Meanwhile, Miles, Jonathan, and Eric were forced to use bits of debris as makeshift projectiles. At least they wouldn’t be running out anytime soon. There were plenty of rocks here.

  Roger moved like his life depended on it – which it kind of did – but despite their best efforts, he was still forced to use some Words of his own as he scrambled from one mechanism to the next. She wasn’t entirely sure how this was supposed to work, but Roger seemed to know. In between his frantic pleas for them to please hit more of the crabs, she could hear him muttering about how annoying the dwarves were and why couldn’t they build a normal door like everyone else? It was a fair point. A normal door might not be as impressive, but it was also a lot easier to use. Once all of the mechanisms had been activated, the gateway jolted open and crashed down to span the gap over the chasm. Roger leapt onto it and gestured for them to hurry up as crabs piled onto the makeshift bridge.

  “Push through,” Aria bellowed. “Come on!”

  Eileen’s quill beast form gave way to something that looked like a reptilian rhinoceros covered in thick plates of armour. She rumbled along the drawbridge, and Susannah dimly remembered killing something that had looked a lot like this once. It hadn’t been smart, but it had been incredibly durable, and it had ploughed through trees like toothpicks. Eileen did the same, tossing her horned head from side to side to send crabs flying back into the chasm. The rest of them followed in her wake, knocking crabs off as quickly as they could. Once they were across, Roger hastened to cast a very sloppy and fairly weak [Volcanic Burst]. It was a lot smaller than she was used to, but the pool of lava was still wide enough to make it difficult for the crabs to cross safely. Susannah cursed. The sounds of claws on stone were getting louder. There were more passageways leading into the area, so they had to get the sword now before they were overrun.

  “Come on!” Susannah turned and fired an arrow into the pool of lava. The explosion that followed sent lava flying everywhere, and the crabs reeled back.

  “The sword should be right around the corner,” Aria replied. “We’ll grab it and then run. There should be a passageway a bit further on that can lead us back to the higher levels. From there, we should be able to get back to sea level and find our way out.”

  They rounded a corner and cut down a handful of crabs. There, in the passageway ahead of them, was a sword. No, Susannah thought, as the blade’s magic pulsed in response to Jonathan’s presence. It was the sword.

  * * *

  There it is.

  Even without the Blood Emperor’s words, Jonathan would have known the sword in front of them was special. Any vampire would have. A quick glance at the group around the sword and the lack of clothing or ash on the ground spelled out the awful truth. They hadn’t brought a vampire with them, never mind one with noble blood. The sword couldn’t be moved without one, but it had been too attractive a prize for them to ignore. The adventurers must have been exceptionally skilled to get this far, but without a way to move the sword, most of them had been wiped out.

  As Jonathan ran to grab the blade, he couldn’t help but admire its quality. It was a work of art as much as a weapon. It had been made in the fashion of a claymore with embellishments on the blade that hinted at the ancient history of the vampires. The cross guard was made in the shape of interlocking dragons. Yet it was the blade itself that truly caught his eye. It was wrought entirely of a jet-black material that seemed to shimmer faintly crimson when the light from Aria’s glowing sword hit it just right. Moreover, closer examination revea
led a host of tiny runes and seals. They weren’t etched into the blade. Instead, they had been woven into the very fabric of the metal itself.

  The blade is made out of blood-steel, an alloy that converts the life force and blood of those it harms or kills into energy its user can wield. A dagger alone would have been a kingly gift, but a blade of this size is truly exceptional. I have only known two or three smiths who could make such a weapon. The sword I wielded in my lifetime was… well, this may be the first time in a long, long time that I’ve seen a sword that deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as it. It’s a pity we’ll have to hand it over, but we cannot afford to make an enemy of the duke.

  At least they’d have a few days to study it – assuming they got out of here alive. Jonathan put his hands on the sword and pulled. The sword sang, a single wondrously harmonic note, and then rose. It was heavy – heavier than any sword he’d ever lifted – but that weight seemed to fall away as he became aware of a different sensation. It was blood. He could feel all of the blood around him.

  Be at ease. It is another one of the sword’s abilities. It makes ambushing someone wielding such a blade very difficult unless you’re willing to employ golems, spirits, or other such creatures.

  As more crabs rushed forward, water flooded in to cool the lava Roger had created. Blue Scales wasn’t able to protect the lava, but he was able to send the water away from them. Unfortunately, they still had to deal with the crabs, and there were a lot of crabs, along with necromancers, zombies, and bone constructs.

  The blade should be capable of harnessing necromantic energy to some extent. However, it needs blood to activate after being inactive for so long, preferably fresh virgin blood. Jonathan’s eye twitched. Yes, I know it’s weird, but that’s how these things work.

  Jonathan grimaced and ran over to Aria. In between helping her bash and stab crabs, he managed to explain what he needed. She gave him an incredulous look.

  “Really?”

  “Um… yes.”