Emotionless (The Emotionless Book 1)

by Shaina Anastasi

  “How’s your eye?” Rokk asked. There was no response. Golden eyes narrowed. Livid anger registered on his face. “Where’s the other D?” He asked. Lawliet tensed and went rigid. Rokk found that amusing. He smiled at Lawliet’s reaction. “What did Rebecca call her? Oh yeah, Droid.”

  “Beat it, parasite,” Lawliet growled.

  The cafeteria grew quiet. All the mages had that look of excitement brimming on their faces, and I don’t think the reason was because of Lawliet talking back. They don’t like Lawliet as much as they don’t like me. I bet they want Rokk to fight Lawliet and win.

  “I heard you tried to call Rebecca out and stop her from spreading those rumours about Droid. Had to protect your girl –”

  I saw it coming.

  Rokk flew back more than a few feet. When Rokk found his footing, he glowered at Lawliet while he rubbed his jaw. Lawliet’s fist tensed, clenched shut.

  At this moment Lawliet honestly looked like a fire-breathing dragon. Ash and orange flames enveloped the entire cafeteria, and wailing screams echoed around me. There was fear in mages eyes as they ran and tried to hide from the laughter by a Dragon that desired the taste of blood within its flames.

  “Lawliet Clarintine, I am taking you to the Headmage.” Mrs Robertson – the cafeteria lady – demanded.

  “I am going back to my class. If you want me to see Headmage, get me a handwritten note. I have had enough of this bullshit.”

  “Then don’t come to the cafeteria,” a group of boys that swarmed around the ring shouted. “No one wants you here.”

  “Why don’t you declare that you’re a Guardian already. You will never become a mage. You aren’t one of us.”

  “You cheeky Lowborn mutts!” Lawliet snapped. “Come say that to my face and not hidden within the crowd!”

  The fire grew stronger.

  Before the teacher grabbed Lawliet, I reached out and took hold of his arm. Lawliet flinched, glared down at me but then sighed. “We should go up to the tower. It’s safer there,” I murmured.

  We broke through the crowd. Mrs Robertson relaxed when my brother Silas stood beside her. He must be explaining that Lawliet would be fine with me and they let us go out of the cafeteria.

  Once we disappeared from the ranting cafeteria and up the flight of stairs, I released my grip on Lawliet. We then walked in silence. That’s when I realised that this is the first time that I have done something rather than stand there and watch. It is not like I am defying anybody, but I am doing things that I wouldn’t initially be doing. It may be because I feel connected to Lawliet, in a way.

  He defended me about those rumours. The sad part is that I have been called worse. Droid isn’t anything new: Robot, mechanical mage, murderer, mage killer. Not the worst but one that wounds me because I don’t want to be a droid. I don’t want to be emotionless. I can’t express anything outwardly, but I do still feel them within. My heart churned on the inside, and my eyes burned with unshed tears. What makes them think that I am not like them even? I only want to be left alone now. I don’t deserve this treatment. It doesn’t feel right. This feeling is worse than when I went to that Ordinary-Human school.

  I touched underneath my eyes, but they were dry. I felt them, though, the burning sensation behind eyes. They just weren’t strong enough to shed.

  “Did you hear what they were saying about you?” Lawliet asked.

  “Yes,” I said nodding.

  “To be perfectly honest, today, you did stare at the chalkboard like a droid.” He eyed me and smirked playfully.

  “And you get angry like a fire-breathing Guardian.”

  Lawliet chuckled lightly. I averted my eyes and felt that sick, butterfly feeling and that churning feeling in my heart lifted. The way he calls me droid, it’s strange. He wasn’t saying it out of spite or telling it like that was all he sees in me. I believe he was teasing me. It didn’t hurt when he said it. Why doesn’t it bother me?

  I am not naïve, but I am certainly not smart about different feelings. If I spoke to anyone about what I am feeling, their conclusion would be love. I am smart enough to know that this wasn’t it yet. Lawliet was a close friend. 1800 501 971

  I puffed my cheeks and looked up when Lawliet opened the door. His outward groan alerted me that there was someone in that room. On the table, legs crossed leant back and looking out of the window was someone I have never seen before. Dark purple hair, pale skin, bright violet eyes and a smirk rested on his face. He was definitely a Guardian.

  “What are you doing here?” Lawliet demanded.

  “Little brother, why so cold –” He turned to look at us. When he saw me, his eyes widened, and he looked amused. The Guardian leaned forward and placed his arms on his knees and grinned. “Oh, Eileen Frost, it has been a while.”

  “You know Darius?” Lawliet asked me.

  “No… uh, forgive me, but I don’t remember you,” I started.

  “Heh. Perhaps you wouldn’t remember me. You see, when we met, I was in my Guardian form. Through the flames, I saw your innocence and purity. A trait every Guardian would desire from a mage.” A shallow breath escaped my lips, and I raised my arms and rested them on my chest. “I am a Dragon Guardian, and you killed my Master, Timothy.”

  “Oh.”

  “Wait.” Lawliet furrowed his brows and turned to me. “You are that Highborn mage?”

  Decided.

  I fled the scene. It was something that I tended to do a lot. Runaway when I felt uncomfortable. Runaway from any altercation. This time I was running away to prevent my friendship with Lawliet from ending. He now knows that I am the mage that assisted in the murder of Timothy.

  To make matters worse, his brother was the dragon that used to be Timothy’s Guardian. Talk about a complication. How am I going to convince Lawliet to still be my friend?

  I went down the flight of stairs. All the way down until I hit the ground level where the potions class resides. Nearby there, were the female toilets on this side of the darkened corridor. A dull blue light bobbed up and down at the entrance to the bathrooms. For a moment I contemplated if I should hide in there until my next class. I am somewhat positive that Lawliet wouldn’t enter in there and demand as to why I suddenly – and slowly – fled the scene.

  I was about to go inside when I heard a weird sound from behind me. It sounded like a sack, or something similar to one dragging against the stone ground. I looked back down the darkened corridor, but it was hard to see. There weren’t that many floating orbs that illuminated down here.

  I stepped away from the girls’ toilets and stepped towards where the potions classes are located. My veins lit and illuminated a small spec of space and aura around me. I crept forward while my eyes looked around and wondered where that sound was coming from. I then stood before the doors to the potions classroom and stared at the door in the hopes that perhaps I could see within. There was definitely someone inside. That sound was much more prominent to my ears now that I was in front of the door. I touched the wood of the door when suddenly the sound vanished. When I opened the door, I looked around the tables and chairs. It was prepped for the class that would be coming in after lunch break: cauldrons on the tables, with ingredients beside them. But there was no one that I could see inside.

  “Hello?” I questioned. Silence filled the room. I ducked out of the room and turned around. My heart skipped a beat, and I jolted out of my skin. “Hello,” I murmured.

  “Hey, Eileen.” Spencer grimaced. He had a grave look on his face. He looked to be uncomfortable. “Uh, my dad… the Headmage wants to see you.”

  “Okay?” I questioned. He nodded and turned to walk away. I puffed my cheeks and felt slightly annoyed. “Why?” I asked.

  “Oh… I thought… never mind. The Headmage wants you because of the dispute that happened moments before in the cafeteria.”

  “I see,” I whispered. “Very well.”

  I am unsure of the reason as to why I would need to be called in to see the Headmage. U
nless he was using me as a reliable source of information to understand what had just happened. However, there were other mages there as well that could put a formal statement. But would they state what really happened?

  I followed Spencer to Headmage’s door. He gave me a tight lip smile before he walked away. I blinked, unable to furrow my brows or give him a weird and confused look.

  Once Spencer was out of sight, I turned to Headmage’s door and wondered what would happen if I weren’t invited in by the door. Would the door be solid and I would just hit into it? Or would something much worse happen?

  I breathed in and out evenly right before I stepped inside the door. That cold shudder that was suppressed by that emotionless side crept up my spine. My abdominal tensed, and throat tightened as I stepped through the bitter coldness and out the other side. Warmth then flushed in and warmed my cheeks and bones.

  It always seemed dark and eerie in Headmage’s office. Apart of me believes he was going for warm. But the only light came from the fireplace and a scented vanilla candle on his office desk. That warm and inviting feeling was shrouded in dark and jagged shadows that consumed the walls and bookshelves and floors.

  Headmage looked up from the papers that were before him and smiled at me. Without a word, he raised his arm and gestured that I should take a seat at one of the chairs provided. I chose the chair near the fireplace. Once I was on the chair, I tucked my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. The feel of the warmth that came from the fire was comforting and made me relax the slightest in this uncomfortable situation that I was placed in.

  “Eileen Frost, how has your time been so far at Mage Academy?” Headmage asked.

  “Good,” I answered.

  I could do without the consistent bullying of a certain girl in my year and snide remarks, but I don’t believe this was the appropriate time to say anything. Headmage looked like he had an agenda as to why he asked that particular question. My Mum used to do it all the time. I had watched her for years when I was younger. She wanted me to learn so that when I was older, I could do the same. It was a type of simple conversation that leads to questions that they really wanted. How their day was can turn into specific things that happened on that day. In this case, Headmage wanted to know how I was doing at Mage Academy that will turn into a series of questions that he really wanted to know. It was smart. Not that many mages would know about this type of interrogation unless they were brought up like I had been. I need to figure out what he wants to know and be careful about how I answer Headmage.

  “Wonderful.” Headmage placed his hands before him on the desk and clasped them together. “Have you made some good friends?”

  “Yes. Many,” I replied.

  “That’s good, for the most part.” I was confused. I placed my legs back on the ground, put my hands together on my lap and straightened up. “There’s one student I am worried that you are friends with.”

  “Okay?” I questioned. “Who?”

  “Lawliet Clarintine.” I see. So, this was where the conversation was steering.

  Headmage sighed profoundly and stood from his seat. He went around his large desk and to the front. Headmage than leant against the edge of his desk and folded his arms across him. “Look, Eileen, I don’t want you to make bad choices that will hurt you or your family in that case. Befriending Lawliet Clarintine is worrisome. He’s a hothead. He always gets into fights consistently. I had to ban him from the classroom because of the number of fights he has been in. Lawliet Clarintine doesn’t know our way. A mages way. I don’t want you to make a mistake or get hurt.”

  “I will take what you said under advisement,” I murmured.

  “You can do as you please, I am just heeding a warning for you, Eileen Frost. I respect the Frost family. If you were still eligible to become our ruler, I would vote for you in a heartbeat. I don’t want you to make a decision that will hinder and degrade your family anymore. What would your mother say if she saw you with a half-breed like Lawliet Clarintine?”

  She wouldn’t care. The reason she wouldn’t care if I was friends with him is that she doesn’t care for me. I have been in countless magazines and tabloids that would state much worse than befriending a Mage/Guardian. If anything, it would be her reason to officially disown me without being degraded and dragged in the dirt herself.

  I shrugged instead.

  Headmage sighed. “If you are worried or scared for any reason at all, please, come by my office and talk to me. I don’t want what happened to my son happen to you.”

  I stood and brushed down the winter dress that I wore. “Okay. Thank you for worrying about my family. We are grateful.”

  “Yes. Until then, stay safe.”

  I walked out of the Headmage’s office and went down the hallway and towards my deciphering hexes class. I was somewhat late. But I am sure that if I tell Mr Grode that I was speaking with Headmage, that he would understand and let me silently creep to my seat without any further delay. Headmage was an excellent and powerful mage. If I speak it to anyone, they seem to cower and grow more on edge. Must come with the title.

  Headmage’s words seemed to have bothered me a lot more than they should have. He obviously doesn’t know what really goes on and who deliberately starts the fights in the first place. Either he’s turning a blind eye on the matter and is completely oblivious, or it was easier to blame a half-breed Guardian/Mage because he can be deemed not one of us. That seems to make me more angry than sad. Anyone should have a chance to be a mage rather than a Guardian. He should be able to study and learn our ways like everyone else. But what was the point, really? If this was how Mage Academy was treating him, I doubt the Organisation will agree for Lawliet to be part of the mage world rather than be a Guardian. When he turns eighteen, he will be a Guardian. A powerful one. I will never see him again.

  My heart stuttered. A sick and ill flutter that made my throat close up. I placed my hands onto my chest and wished I could tighten my hold and clutch where this slight pain resided. Instead, I had to endure the pain all the way to my classroom, where it finally dispersed, once I stepped inside the room.

  I find it amusing that when it comes to deciphering hexes, most Ordinary-Human ingredients work. Because there are so many chemicals in their lotions, hexes can counter in away. Not all the time, or as quickly as it would be using our magic, but there are ways. For instance, the one that was right before me on my desk. A simple hex used by a doll to subject pain onto another mage. It was the easiest hex to understand and most straightforward to break.

  Dolls don’t have enough power for pain. All those Ordinary-Human movies that I have seen where a doll can break a person’s bones or bring them unimaginable suffering are from the truth and reality. The needles that go into the dolls are like pricks. Junior school stunts. Usually a girls’ tricks. But to use a doll, it needs to be within radius as well. It cannot be more than a yard away from the victim or else it wouldn’t work. All the mage has to do is find the doll and burn it for the doll not to work anymore. It will feel like having a warm bath or shower. Very mild. Nothing to be concerned of. But there are also Ordinary-Human methods. There is shaving cream that will burn the doll and destroy it. All the mage has to do is lather the cream over their body – Exempt face and hair – and leave it on for five minutes, and the hex between mage and doll will be broken. Easier to do rather than find the culprit and destroy the doll.

  I looked over to Donte and Nixon. They had already created their dolls and entwined a strand of their dark hair around the doll and handed it to each other so that they could have some fun. They used a needle and poked the doll and laughed as they touched the places where they think the needle pricked them on the doll.

  I often wonder if I was adopted. Or in the womb, I was given the brains and therefore left the Frost family with two halfwits that enjoy being evil masterminds of destruction. Either way, all I could think of was the fact that one of those dolls are going to be brought home. I feel sorry for Silas. He’
s going to be slapping himself for weeks before he realises what really was going on.

  After deciphering hexes for the day, I walked down with Charlie so that we could get changed and dressed for running – or in my cases walking – around the oval, for a sense of fitness. Utterly different from the Ordinary-Human school that I went to. At the Ordinary-Human school, there would be certain events: Cross country, basketball, soccer, tennis, even. All events I graciously sat out of. Here, we go around the oval for sport unless mages are in a qualified team. Spencer told Donte and Nixon that because he believed their energy and stamina – whenever they run away from trouble they have caused – would be beneficial in soccer.

  They laughed at him. It wasn’t a surprise.

  “Are you excited about our shopping trip tomorrow?” Charlie asked when we walked around the oval.

  Not entirely sure “excited” was a word I thought of when I thought of going to Sorcerer City. I could feel the stares already, especially in a group. I also contemplated if it was worth the hassle to even go with other people that consider me as a friend. I could easily go alone, but if they noticed me alone, it would then turn somewhat awkward and unpleasant, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because that will hurt my family.

  “It will be eventful,” I said.

  “Rumour is that St Clairiss students will be around the clothing stores on Runner Street at, like, I think 1. We should head over there after lunch and check out the competition. I need to know where I will be ranked after we graduate next year. I don’t want to be below anyone at St Clairiss Academy, or any other school for that matter.”

  I understand where she is coming from. It is known as degrading for any Mage Academy students to be below any student from another school. It will also be placed on the record and portfolio that they will hand in when entering the field of work. There’s a chance I can be underneath students at other schools. That’s why I want to study every opportunity that I have. Also, putting down that I can create my own runes from scratch is a bonus.