Emotionless (The Emotionless Book 1)

by Shaina Anastasi

  “Can you see what I am thinking?” I then asked as we walked up the stairs.

  “I am not a mind reader, Eileen. I am just in-tune with your emotions,” he responded.

  “I see.”

  My sights lowered to his hand. I wonder what they would feel like this time if I knowingly took hold of his hand. Would they be warm within the palm of my hand when I lace my fingers within the cracks of his? Would he shy away and reject my invitation? Would there be any reciprocation? The tormented doubt plagued my mind until we neared the top of the tower staircase. I took a step up on the flat surface of the tower and reached out to take hold of his hand. I was fingertips away when the door flew open.

  Lawliet’s veins lit, and they burned the air. A shallow breath escaped my lips at how bright they were to any veins that I have seen before. They glowed like the sun within this darkened tower. He was utterly mesmerising to me.

  “Eileen and uh… Lawliet, right?” Silas stumbled out of the apartment covered in smoke. “How are the both of you?”

  “Good,” I replied.

  “You do realise that something is burning inside of your apartment?” Lawliet asked.

  “I am well aware of how horrible my cooking has become. No amount of practice would help me out,” Silas breathed.

  He looked between us, and I had that hope that his mind suddenly clicked and that he would slip back inside and leave Lawliet and me alone for a moment. “Oh! Can you cook?” He suddenly asked Lawliet.

  I guess not.

  How unfortunate.

  “Why?” Lawliet looked a little more than hostile and defensive.

  “Why means yes! Wonderful! Can you teach me how to cook? Please, it will be a once-off. Teach me how to make one simple thing, and that’s all. If you don’t, Eileen’s brothers will ridicule me, and I am sick of those halfwits thinking I am a useless cook.”

  “Done,” Lawliet said immediately. “Those halfwits you talk about are nothing but an ear-bash whenever I am home. If cooking them good food for a night prevents them from creating such noises I will gladly help.”

  It won’t, but it was very kind of Lawliet to help. Even if it was in a very sadistic and cruel, weird way.

  “Oh, you wait, Donte and Nixon. I will destroy you with my cooking!”

  My brother is strange.

  I sat at the table while they cooked. I was not allowed to go near the kitchen after I waved a very sharp knife around carelessly in front of Lawliet and Silas. They believed that I was nothing but a threat and walking hazard, and so I had plate duty. But after setting the table, there was nothing else to do but watch.

  Lawliet showed Silas how to chop onions. Silas had streaks of tears running down his face and looked like an utter wreck, but persisted in chopping the onions. Lawliet didn’t look teary at all. Made me wonder if that was the dragon side of him. Even I could feel the complete burn of unshed tears tearing at my eyes like claws of a crow slicing at my face and eyes. No amount of blinking stopped them from burning up.

  Lawliet was teaching Silas how to make pasta. Supposedly it was the simplest, but from the look of the first pan that was burnt to a crisp, I honestly wondered how easy pasta was.

  “You have to put water in the pot this time,” Lawliet directed Silas. “That’s too much. About halfway.”

  My eyes drew to Lawliet’s lips and of the shape of them as he spoke. That slight smile of amusement when my brother made an error that Lawliet thought was funny. How his eyes crinkle and ears prick up when he laughs. It causes a stir within my stomach whenever I look at Lawliet. There was this desire within my belly that hatched butterflies and made them flutter around. And then I felt like jelly when those golden eyes looked away from what Silas was doing and towards me. Those melancholy golden eyes that made my insides melt like lava.

  “I think your brother is getting the hang of cooking.” Lawliet sat beside me at the table and shifted so that his body faced me. “You were gawking the whole time. It made me uncomfortable.”

  “I will stop, then,” I said.

  “No. It’s fine. I was merely observing your strange habits.”

  “My strange habits, dragon. How about you?” Lawliet raised both brows. “You snore.”

  “I snore? Bullshit.”

  “Breathe audibly,” I corrected myself.

  “Alright. I have another strange habit. You listening to me sleeping.”

  It seems like no matter what I say at this point in time, all I would be doing is digging my own grave. I should give up before I end up admitting I have a habit of staring at his lips and wondering what they taste like.

  “Lawliet,” Silas called. He was dishing out pasta into five bowls. “You should stay for dinner. It would be the least I could do after you helped me learn how to cook.”

  “It’s fine. I shouldn’t interrupt and leave before those headaches come home.”

  Lawliet went to stand when I reacted. Both of my hands took hold of his hand, and I pulled him gently back towards me. Lawliet looked down, and his features softened when he saw me.

  “Stay,” I murmured. “Please.”

  Lawliet looked towards the door. I had done the same when the door flew open, and two diabolical brothers covered in snow entered. Lawliet then sighed and sat back down. “Screw it.”

  My heart fluttered, and I went to let go of his hand when I felt my fingers part. Lawliet slipped his fingers through the cracks of my hand and moved my arm over so that it rested on his lap. At this point my heart was pounding excruciatingly loud within my chest. Like the beating of drums in an empty room.

  Dinner was strange. For once, my brothers were well behaved, and I was unsure if the reason was that Silas did cook a delicious meal. Silas even looked surprised and dug into his food. I ate with my fingers and sauce slipped down my fingers and arm. Lawliet was the one that looked slightly disgusted by our eating habits. But he did struggle to eat, as he ate with one hand because he refused to let go of my other hand, and I didn’t mind that at all, to be frank.

  “How has the potions class been going, boys?” Silas asked Donte and Nixon.

  “Awesome, we are…” Donte started the conversation before he took another bite.

  “Making a hair-loss potion,” Nixon finished the sentence.

  “Oh… wonderful,” Silas said through clenched teeth. He glared down at his food.

  I don’t have to wonder what he was thinking. I already knew. He was now contemplating if he should excuse himself and go to the bathroom so that he could take his shampoo and conditioner out of the shower and check if they have been tampered with. He must have thought best on it.

  “If you all will excuse me,” Silas said as he stood from his seat. “I will be right back. Bathroom break.”

  Once he went into the bathroom, Donte and Nixon snorted a laugh and cackled to each other. “He’s so gullible. We aren’t making a hair-loss potion,” Nixon giggled.

  “Well, we are, but the hair-loss potion removes all unwanted hair from your body. Shapes eyebrows, gets rid of neck hair and ear hair and nose hair. You know, hair that makes a mage look like a jungle animal,” Donte corrected.

  “No, we have something else special installed for big brother and oh… it is awesome!”

  Silas came back, flushed face and paranoid.

  Lawliet leaned into me and whispered, “Your brothers are diabolical masterminds.” I nodded in agreement.

  “So, Lawliet, what class do you have with Eileen?” Silas asked once he sat back down.

  “None,” Lawliet answered.

  “Oh. You’re older?”

  “No. I don’t take classes.”

  “… how did you meet Eileen?”

  “In the tower.”

  “Alone?” Silas asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Alone. Alone?”

  “That’s what alone means,” Lawliet said with a nod.

  “And you two are… are, um… close?”

  “Spit it out already! Silas wants to kn
ow if you two are dating,” Donte and Nixon said at the same time.

  “That’s not what I was trying to say you conniving, evil, vindictive golems!”

  “Golem, where?” Nixon squealed.

  “This is a headache,” Lawliet said and grunted. “Maybe I should go.”

  “Donte leave me alone with these mages. Like you said, they are evil.”

  “At this point of time I think you are trying to use every reason under the blue moon so that I could stay,” he whispered.

  “Is it working?” I asked.

  Lawliet sighed, looked away and back at the argument that was unfolding and nodded.

  After dinner, my brothers wanted to watch a movie. I decided to entertain that thought if that meant Lawliet stayed longer than he wanted to. So, we all suffered in silence as we watched this overly gory Ordinary-Human movie. Blood flew dramatically everywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if blood-splattered halfway across the world, that were how dramatic this movie was. However, it was a good bonding session.

  I sat on the single sofa, and Lawliet sat in front of me on the ground. Donte and Nixon punched the air and screamed at the television screen. Silas had the blanket over half of his face. Only his eyes peeked out and barely. Whenever a scene that was too gory came on, the blanket went up and over his entire face. I am pretty sure he has watched at least thirty minutes of the two-hour movie.

  “Thank you for coming and helping out, Lawliet,” Silas said.

  “Come by and help Silas so that he doesn’t cook a crappy meal again,” Donte and Nixon called from the living room.

  “Shut up!” Silas moved back inside and stomped his way to the living room. “I cooked the pasta all by myself, and you said so yourself. It was the best meal you have ever tasted.”

  “Yeah, because we thought Lawliet cooked it. Now that we know it was you, we revoke that statement. It was mediocre. You can cook better than that.”

  “I swear, sometimes I wish the both of you were rats so that I can squish you both underneath my mage boot!”

  “Look, a cockroach!” Donte and Nixon shouted.

  Silas squealed. “Where?”

  I tore my sights away from my brothers and back at Lawliet that stood outside of my apartment. I leant my head against the doorframe and blinked slowly.

  “Goodnight, Lawliet,” I murmured.

  “I will see you in a minute, Eileen,” he said and smirked.

  I closed the door and walked towards my room. Silas was on the couch with a broom within his grasp. Donte and Nixon were shouting and pointing in random places where they deemed that they saw the cockroach. I had half a mind to conjure a rubber cockroach and scare all three of them, but I decided not tonight.

  Inside my room, I closed the door softly behind me and stepped back. The door lit up a blue in colour and the door locked. I then went to my window, unlocked the latch and flew it open. Lawliet was at the railing across from my window. White hair breezed in the wind and golden eyes shined in the moons eye. He raised his hand towards me and mine itched to touch his.

  I stepped up on the windowsill, and I reached out and took hold of Lawliet Clarintine’s hand.

  He hand was burning within my grasp.

  Hold Me Tightly.

  I stood inside of the tower, and the wind whistled and howled around us. Anticipation and doubt worked its way into my mind. My rune may not work in this weather. I am unsure if I touched the rune up enough for it to be stable with this much feedback happening around me. This could be my worst idea yet – but when has that ever stopped me from doing what I desperately wanted to do?

  Lawliet stood at the opening I recall falling from the very first night at Mage Academy. The shadows sharpened his features and covered his face like a mask. The only part that I could see was the hint of gold underneath white hair that fell forward from the wind that lashed out from behind us.

  We both looked out and up at the sky. Thousands of diamonds twinkled in the sky. The moon a large, grand, crystal ball, shined silver light down and across Mage Academy.

  “Are you ready?” Lawliet turned to me and sat on the edge. I nodded once, but it was slow. Almost like I was hesitating. Lawliet then smiled and looked down at the drop. “I will go down first.”

  He shuffled out so that his feet dangled outside of the tower. Lawliet then took a deep breath in and then out right before he pushed himself off. My stomach flopped, and I stepped forward. It looked like he fell, but when I looked down, there he was, glued to the wall, waiting for me.

  My hands that were by my side brushed at the snow that was on edge. I sat down and placed one leg over and then the other leg over. My hands held onto both sides of the wall on either side of me when my feet dangled down on the outside of the tower. I then moved a little further forward and planted my feet against the side.

  “Activate, stick rune,” I breathed. My voice was then carried away by the wind. However, it was enough to alert my veins and the rune on my boot.

  Here goes nothing.

  I pushed myself off, and I fell forward. Lawliet came into focus, and I stiffened and raised my hands. I was about ready to slam into him when I felt my body tighten and legs lock. My hands clasped hold onto Lawliet’s hands, but the rest of my body held firm on its own. I breathed out, but I desperately wanted to laugh at how well this rune was going so far. Lawliet then stepped back, and that made me step forward, following him. We walked hand and hand down and around the tower.

  “You are amazing,” Lawliet laughed. “Your rune is stronger than I thought.”

  Even knowing I couldn’t express myself; I was undeniably happy at the progress that I have made within weeks. And it was all thanks to Lawliet. If I didn’t have him, I wouldn’t have tried and gone beyond boundaries and created my own rune. Lawliet was what I needed right now in my life. I needed this thrill and joy before I succumbed myself into boredom and drowned in jealousy and hate watching others around me express themselves.

  I walked around the tower and left Lawliet to follow. On the other side of the tower wall, I stared out at the frozen ocean: sheen, thick block of white ice and it covered the entire sea. I was mesmerised at how beautiful the ocean looked. The ice glistened and glimmered like sparkling glitter, and the salty air brushed against me.

  Then, I was suddenly hit by a whirlwind of air. It shook my body and hair lashed in the ferocious wind that hit out of nowhere. Chaotic and filled with such… such anger and hate.

  I went to move back into the tower, but the wind was so fierce that I felt glued to the spot. I couldn’t move without losing control of the stick rune all together. This wind was too insane. If I move, I will fall and be swept up in this hurricane that surrounded me. This vengeful wind that wanted me to stop breathing, as it crushed against my chest and worked its way inside of my mouth and filled my lungs until it felt as if I was about to explode. I needed to go back into the tower and away from this ferocious wind that pounded into me.

  I looked up and at the opening that I needed to go through. Determined to get there, I lifted my foot off of the wall and suddenly regretted what I was doing. The wind was too strong. My foot couldn’t touch the wall of the tower quick enough, and my boot flew off. I held on with just one boot that had the stick rune struggling to work through this onslaught of wind. Arms hugged the lumpy, rough texture of the stone wall and the cold bite of ice made my cheek grow achingly numb by the second. Fingertips struggled to hold on, and they were slipping. Inch by inch I could feel my body move further away from the wall. Soon, I will be spiralling into the unknown.

  Then, warmth shuddered through me like a newborn fire flickering to life after many attempts of blowing and burning paper. It wrapped around me like a blanket. Lifted up, I was dragged into the tower opening and landed with a thump inside. The howling of the wind abruptly stopped and turned timid, like it was before, and that cold and vengeful feeling diminished, and I was left listening to my own softened breaths.

  “You’re cold,” Lawliet whisp
ered into my hair.

  I was atop of Lawliet, and my head was pressed against his chest. I stared at the stone walls, still reeling with what just happened. I had a hold of Lawliet’s shoulders. His arms wrapped around me and we were in a strange embrace.

  “What just happened?” I murmured.

  “I don’t know, but it felt wrong. Like…” Lawliet trailed off. I sat upright with both legs on either side of him and stared down at that tormented look. There was hardly any gold in his eyes when he narrowed them. “Like a mage was manipulating the wind. But for someone to go that far is screwed up, Eileen.”

  “I have many enemies.”

  “Yes, I am well aware. I Speggled your name the other day. It is ridiculous – but not once has a mage tried to actively kill you.” Lawliet bobbed his head side to side. “Yeah, maybe bully you and hurt you, but never have I have seen anyone have that look of wanting to intentionally kill you, but that wind… that was strong. Like… like whoever conjured it knows what they are doing and they are powerful. Damn, that complicates things.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “Well, for starters, we go to a school filled with mages – And the most prestige one of all. We are never going to find them.”

  “We won’t need to,” I said. “They will come to me.”

  Lawliet sighed and looked away and out at the opening that we came from. “We should go back inside. I doubt that they would try the same trick in one night – Or when you are around others. They must not have seen me until I grabbed hold of you. They really want you alone.”

  The memory of when that snowball with the sharp rock came to mind and flashed before my eyes. That makes a lot more sense now. There was wind manipulation used there as well. This wasn’t the first time that someone has tried to rid of me. There was also the incident with the mirror in the girls’ change rooms as well. Someone really doesn’t like the idea that I am back in Sorcerer City. Whoever it is, they wanted me exiled for life. Coming to Mage Academy must have been the topping of their cake that sent them spiralling down into the darkness fuelled anger. Soon enough they will show themselves. I know how mages work. We thrive in letting other mages know who is better. Time will come when they reveal themselves. Until then, I would need to be careful and tread with care and stay in groups, or around other mages. They will either explode in anger that they cannot reach me now that I am protecting myself and reveal themselves surrounded by mages, or risk killing me while I am surrounded by mages. Either way, I will know and be more on guard and watch my back.