Emotionless (The Emotionless Book 1)

by Shaina Anastasi

  After the circle was completed, he stepped back and stood beside me.

  “A teacher or a powerful student that specialises in runes,” Lawliet confirmed, nodding.

  “Either way, they want me gone from Mage Academy or gone altogether.”

  Lawliet took hold of my shoulders and gave me a steady, serious look. Those golden eyes of his held firm. I saw no sadness in them at all. My face began to burn. Embarrassed, I went to look away when he touched my chin, forbidding me from looking anywhere else other than him. His hand then glided up my cheek, cupping my already warm cheek and sending off a tingling sensation that burned.

  “I won’t let that parasite of a mage hurt you,” Lawliet whispered. “We will find out who it is and end it for good.”

  I rested my hand over his and leant into his touch. The feel of Lawliet was always inviting, and I have always wanted to be near him, whether I consciously knew it or not. Being around him makes me feel safe. I know as long as he is near that I shouldn’t fear a mage hiding around a corner, waiting patiently for my death.

  “Shouldn’t we talk to Headmage about this?” I then suddenly asked.

  Lawliet removed his hand on my cheek and shook his head. “We don’t know who to trust. Until we know that Headmage isn’t allowing this teacher or student to do as they please, we should keep this information to ourselves.”

  “Not even my brothers…” I trailed off when Lawliet raised his brows. “Older brother, I mean. Or Hopper.”

  “Who is Hopper?” Lawliet suddenly asked.

  “He’s a family Guardian.”

  “He?” Lawliet spat venom at the word – but I couldn’t necessarily understand why he would.

  “What type of Guardian? Knight? Angel? Merman?” Lawliet glared off and seemed to have dragged himself into his own head. “Mermen would be the worst. They love attention.”

  “He’s a cute and adorable bunny,” I said.

  Lawliet tore himself out of his deep and tormented thoughts and glared at me. A profound solid gold moments ago melted like flesh on bone. A sadistic, cruel smile reached his lips and made him look more like a dragon than a mage.

  “Dinner,” he growled.

  I raised my arms on either side of me and looked down at my body. “I’d like to think that I am more of a dessert than dinner.”

  Lawliet blinked rapidly and shook his head in disbelief at what I said to him. He then took a step back and barked a laugh. My ears began to burn. I’m unsure as to why he was laughing at me.

  “My poor Eileen Frost.” Lawliet leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “Not you, that hairball of yours.”

  “Oh…” I trailed off.

  That hairball? He cannot possibly mean Hopper, can he? Lawliet doesn’t even know Hopper for him to state that he is his dinner. Unless – oh, I see. It is his Guardian urges. Dragons must enjoy eating rabbits.

  “You can’t eat Hopper,” I demanded. “I won’t allow it.”

  Lawliet narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he looked away and out the window. I then did the same and followed his sights. Snow fell down across the window like heavy rain.

  A memory triggered by looking out the window. “Someone was watching me through the window while I was doing sports yesterday,” I claimed.

  “Really?” Lawliet folded his arms across his chest. “Where? Did you see what they properly looked like?”

  I shook my head. “No,” I disagreed. “But they were in the window above the changerooms on the third floor.”

  “I will check it out when you have sports.”

  “I have swimming now instead of outdoor sports. The snow is too heavy now.”

  “There’s no harm knowing what classroom that is, nonetheless,” Lawliet said, grimacing.

  The bell to class rang out, and we both looked back to the window and to the tower bell across from this tower. “You should go to class, Eileen. Leave this to me.”

  “Will I see you tonight?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I am going to catch up with my brother after school, and I am not sure when I will be back. If I am back earlier than anticipated, I will knock on your window.”

  “Okay.”

  I stood there, while the bell rang, unsure about what I am supposed to do now. Do we kiss? Taste those intoxicating lips.

  I went to turn away when Lawliet answered for me. His hand touched my cheek, and those lips pressed against mine. A haze of fog thickened my mind, and I was unable to think. Heat blazed, within that fire I burned brightly like I was about to explode.

  “See you later, Eileen,” he breathed after our lips parted away from each other.

  I went to the door and leaned out – my hand supported my body by holding onto the doorframe – when I hesitated and looked back inside of the tower room. Lawliet noticed my hesitance and straightened up and tilted his head to the side. He reminded me of a puppy at that moment, waiting for his owner to speak.

  “Can you ask Darius something, please?” I asked.

  “Anything,” Lawliet agreed.

  “Can you ask him again if he had seen anything the night that I summoned my Guardian.”

  Those golden eyes softened.

  He must know how desperate I am to understand what my Guardian looks like. The worst thing a mage can undergo is not knowing what they summoned. Do they stand over my bed while I sleep, angered that I summoned them, contemplating placing the blade to my throat, the same blade they used to kill Fiona’s Guardian? Those worries and doubts are what consumes me most nights, as I pictured the golden veil dropping and darkness follows.

  Tearing my tormented gaze away from Lawliet, I went down the stairs and to my class.

  My classes flew by, one would say if they were giving new information. Unfortunately, for me, it was almost a standstill. Everything presented to me I had learned outside of Mage Academy. I wrote ingredients down from potions I have memorised. Donte and Nixon always kept me on my toes, so learning what was inside of a potion they were creating came in handy for potions class.

  Swimming for the sport was traumatic. I didn’t have swimmers, and so Charlie ended up bringing a spare – not sure why – and so I wore this one piece. However, her body was fuller in places, and so my bust didn’t fill the area it should. I ended up having to pin them back to tighten areas until I can buy swimmers online tonight.

  I swam along the side of the pool, near the changerooms, ready to pounce and leave as soon as the bell rang. All my other classmates ravelled in the water and played this splashing game. Water sprayed everywhere, and laughter filled the air.

  Again, I was envious of the way they express themselves. That jealousy bug consumed me as I watched them balance on each other’s shoulders, grinning ear to ear, wrestling each other. A desire to join them jolted inside of me but my body refused to move. Instead, I leant against the pool edge and rested my chin on my arm and stared blankly at the clock, wanting nothing more but for this torture to end.

  When eventually it did, I went home and was suddenly trapped at the doorway as soon as I stepped inside. He kneeled before me, grey hair dishevelled – for once –and hands outstretched and within them was a book.

  I was waiting for this book for days now. For a moment, I wondered if I gave him the correct location as to where to find the book. I am grateful he found the book, but Hopper looked exhausted and worn out. He must have been up for days, barely getting a wink of sleep, just to find The Midosseny T’Sholm Murder book.

  “Forgive me for taking too long, Mistress,” Hopper choked out. I think he’s on the verge of tears. “Please, let me make it up to you.”

  I took hold of the book, and Hopper lowered his hands back to his side. Then he straightened his back and stared at me with those adorable, red, eyes, begging for my forgiveness.

  I can never be mad at Hopper. He reminds me too much of an innocent bunny. He has also done so much for this family that I should be the one begging for him, instead of the ot
her way around.

  “Okay,” I murmured. “Let’s go shopping this weekend. We can look at delicious fruits and perhaps have some tea and carrot cake if you would like.”

  “My Mistress, that does not sound like a punishment, that’s is a reward. I am not deserving of such gratitude.”

  “Yes, you are,” I said. “I asked you for a favour, not the other way around. Therefore, I need to show you gratitude and thanks, and this is my thanks to you, Hopper.”

  “Why?” he asked baffled.

  It was like Hopper couldn’t fathom the reason as to why I would take him for a walk. I needed to spell it out for him to understand.

  “Because that’s what family do,” I said.

  Red orbs widened and gleamed in the fluorescent light.

  Before he cried, I looked away – ears burning – and towards the front door. “I am going to give this to my friend now. You should prepare dinner before Silas kills us all.”

  “Of course! Where are my manners! I shall prepare the most exquisite dinner known to mage!”

  “Thank god,” Silas said, sighing.

  He dropped the tea-towel and walked around to the front of the kitchen and into the dining area. Silas nudged his thumb to the pot that simmered – from what I could smell, something ghastly – and looked at Hopper.

  “I prepped, but I forgot how much chilli flakes I needed so I dumped the entire bag into the pot.”

  “Oh, I am positive I can salvage the food, my master. How much was the bag?”

  “A kilo,” Silas answered.

  I imagined myself biting my lip while I looked at Hopper’s eyes widen and jaw slacken, gobsmacked. Instead, I blew air out of my mouth and puffed my cheeks, hoping that it showed a type of emotion.

  “Perhaps I shall order some takeaway tonight,” Hopper declared.

  I left, amusement bubbling on the inside.

  The girl’s dorm rooms were on the first floor, down the hallway where the doors to the library stood proud and tall. As soon as the doors opened – after they knew I was female and not of the opposite sex – perfume smacked me in the face, thick and overwhelming.

  The narrow corridor hit me with bright pink, and the doors to rooms were a dark red in colour. A chandelier sparkled and gleamed down purple crystals every fifth door. Diamond shadows shaped along the walls and floors, like a disco light show.

  I was reminded of the street Charlie, Lollie and I walked down. A rose-coloured world. Here, in the girl’s dorm, it was precisely the same. I stepped inside an alternate universe filled with pink. Soon, being in here, I am going to wonder if I will turn pink as well.

  I stood at door number twenty-four. My hand hovered just shy from touching the doorknob – my other hand at my side, clutching the book – and I contemplated on knocking or not. I know Lollie said that I wouldn’t disturb her, but that was five days ago. She could be busy with homework and studying for her finals. Right now, I could be a disturbance. I don’t want to be a disturbance.

  “Frosty, what are you doing?” Charlie jumped to my side with a wide grin plastered on her face. “You look creepy, staring at the door like that.”

  I wasn’t sure how else I would be able to stare at a door when all I could do was express one emotion. I would love to be able to look at the door, torment on my face, in thought and wonder if I should knock or not. But that wasn’t the case, the butterfly curse was too powerful.

  “I’m waiting,” I answered.

  “Did you knock?” She asked. “Lollie may have her earphones in her ears, so you need to knock loudly.”

  Charlie raised her hand and slammed her fist repeatedly against Lollie’s door. An echo of a sound drummed along the empty corridor. Someone even complained a few doors down and told Charlie to pipe down, but that only made her giggle.

  I wanted to tell Charlie to not be so loud when the door suddenly flew open, and Lollie looked at the both of us, petrified. Like she had seen a ghost.

  “Charlie, was that you?” Lollie demanded. Charlie laughed harder. “Seriously, I thought someone was being murdered and wanted sanctuary and came to my door.”

  She has an adventurous mind.

  Lollie then shook her head. “What’s up?”

  Without a word, I raised my hand that had The Midosseny T’Sholm Murder book. Her eyes widened substantially. I handed her the book, and she hugged the cover tightly against her chest. I could tell that she was thrilled that I gave her the book.

  Flustered by her own reaction, Lollie flew the door further open and leaned against it to keep the door from closing. “Come in and chill for a bit. I will show you my room.”

  “Ooh. Not like I haven’t seen it before.” Charlie laughed darkly.

  “Shush,” Lollie hissed. “This tour is for Eileen, not you!”

  As soon as I stepped into her room, it was bitingly cold and very dark. Pitched black, I’d say, with the only window that would look out towards Sorcerer City, painted black. There was the freshness of that paint as well that made me know that she had done that recently.

  Lollie’s room was kind of what I expected it to be, in a way as in style. There were a lot of punk/rock mage bands taped to the wall, in a sort of shrine, above her bed. Red lipstick covered some of the mages faces, very close to the lips of a few male mages, that looked to be the lead singer, holding microphones in their hands.

  Lollie must have known where my eyes drifted to because she tried to divert my attention away from her unusual shrine and towards her dressing table on the opposite side of the room. Away from her black bedsheet covers and red, silk pillows – the way vampires enjoy sleeping, I noted to myself – I looked at her book collection.

  She had an impressive collection, jampacked on her dresser, balancing, stacked on each other. When she touched the top of her monstrosity of a pile, I took a step back and almost let my veins illuminate, believing the collection was about to topple over and I had to react in time and use magic to prevent that from happening. When they surprisingly didn’t, I moved forward once again and took the first book with cursive, alluring writing that caught my eyes. I then knew immediately as to why the book allured me.

  Fingertips touched the silk, engraved lettering of How to Summon A Guardian. Years ago, I stole this book from my family library. My whole life changed that night.

  “Did it hurt?” I looked up to Lollie, pointing at my hand. I handed her back the How to Summon A Guardian book and placed my hand behind my back, suddenly embarrassed.

  “Sorry to be so forward,” Lollie blurted out as she placed the book back on the shelf. “It’s still the beginning of the year, and the two mages that have already summoned were males and they… they left before they summoned their Guardians. And, whenever I ask a teacher, they have a mysterious smile on their face and don’t say a word. It scares me.”

  I see. Her asking was for her benefit, not because she was disappointed that I went against our mage laws and summoned a Guardian when I wasn’t at the ripe age of eighteen. That makes me feel somewhat better.

  I relaxed my arm and placed both my hands at my side. “I don’t remember,” I admitted honestly. “I passed out as soon as I summoned… them.” Lollie then looked deflated by my words. “But… but before I did, I felt the warmth.”

  “Warmth?” Charlie sat up on Lollie’s silk sheets and looked interested in what I was saying. “That’s pretty cool.”

  “Yeah, I hope that warmth isn’t burning,” Lollie said and then strained a laugh. It was most definitely forced.

  I raised my hand and pointed towards How to Summon A Guardian book and said, “What are you going to summon? … that is if you don’t mind me asking.”

  “Not at all,” Lollie said, shaking her head. “Vampire.”

  That was apparent, as I gave her room a once over, once again. Silk sheets, blackened window, no heating in the middle of winter, and classical music records and a stash of very old novellas stuffed on the bookshelf. Lollie was preparing for when she summoned her vampir
e, Guardian.

  “I have studied so much in what I needed to do to prepare my Guardian. Vampires are very… slippery. I could get a vampire that was bitten yesterday, a week before, month, years, all the way to centuries. I could have a vampire old as time, and I need to prepare for that, mind, body and soul.”

  “What do you mean you need to prepare?” Charlie asked.

  “Well, it isn’t just summoning a Guardian, Charlie.” Lollie took out her office chair that was pressed against her desk and rolled it towards me. Halting it with my hands, the seat wiggled side to side until I sat down, then I deliberately moved the chair side to side while I listened to Lollie. “You also need to prepare yourself, magic wise. For example, I want to summon a Vampire Guardian. What I need to do is learn about my Guardian’s weaknesses and strengths.”

  “Fire,” I murmured.

  Lollie pointed towards me and smiled. “Exactly, Eileen. Vampires are afraid and weak against fire. So, I have to learn how to use a fire element rune so that if there was a fire and I was in the midst with my Guardian, I can control the fire so that it doesn’t touch my Guardian and turn them into ash.”

  “What about sunlight?” Charlie asked.

  “I am also learning and training with a wind element rune as well. If I needed him, but it was sunny, I needed to try and force the natural elements to loom clouds over to where I was located, so that my Guardian can protect me, protected themselves.” Lollie sighed and leaned against the bookshelf and shook her head. “It’s harder than it looks, but you both… uh, you don’t need to worry about that until next year, Charlie.”

  “Yeah, but thanks for the telling me anyways, Loll’s. It would be good to train and study now until next year so that I can have the upper-hand and best everyone at St Clarisse Academy.”

  “You really hate that Academy, don’t you?” Lollie laughed.

  Charlie folded her arms across her chest and pouted. “They are arrogant bitches, especially that Lauran girl. “Oh, look at me, my fingernails are chipped, better use the best, remarkable potion to fix them.” No, you stupid self-loathing, prissy whore! Clip them! They use magic to fix everything!”