Last Argument of Kings

by Joe Abercrombie

  'Like you?'

  'Aye. Like me.' He looked over at Ferro. 'So that's it then, eh, Ferro?'

  'Uh.' She shrugged her scrawny shoulders, and strode off down the gangplank.

  Logen's face twitched at that. 'Right,' he muttered at her back. 'Nice knowing you.' He waggled the stump of his missing finger at Jezal. 'Say one thing for Logen Ninefingers, say he's got a touch with the women.'

  'Mmm.'

  'Aye.'

  'Right.' Jezal was finding actually leaving strangely difficult. They had been almost constant companions for the last six months. To begin with he had felt nothing but contempt for the man, but now that it came to it, it was like leaving a much-respected older brother. Far worse, in fact, for Jezal had never thought too highly of his actual brothers. So he dithered on the deck, and Logen grinned at him as though he guessed just what he was thinking.

  'Don't worry. I'll try to get along without you.'

  Jezal managed half a smile. 'Just try to remember what I told you, if you get in another fight.'

  'I'd say, unfortunately, that's pretty much a certainty.'

  Then there was really nothing Jezal could do but turn away and clatter down to the shore, pretending that something had blown into his eye on the way. It seemed a long walk to the busy quay, to stand next to Bayaz and Quai, Longfoot and Ferro.

  'Master Ninefingers can look after himself, I daresay,' said the First of the Magi.

  'Oh, yes indeed,' chuckled Longfoot, 'few better!'

  Jezal took a last look back over his shoulder as they headed off into the city. Logen raised one hand to him from the rail of the ship, and then the corner of a warehouse came between them, and he was gone. Ferro loitered for a moment, frowning back towards the sea, her fists clenched and a muscle working on the side of her head. Then she turned and saw Jezal watching her.

  'What are you looking at?' And she pushed past him and followed the others, into the swarming streets of Adua.

  The city was just as Jezal remembered it, and yet everything was different. The buildings seemed to have shrunk and huddled in meanly together. Even the wide Middleway, the great central artery of the city, felt horribly squashed after the huge open spaces of the Old Empire, the awe-inspiring vistas of ruined Aulcus. The sky had been higher, out there on the great plain. Here everything was reduced, and, to make matters worse, had an unpleasant smell he had never before noticed. He went with his nose wrinkled, dodging between the buffeting flow of passers-by with bad grace.

  It was the people that were strangest of all. It had been months since Jezal had seen more than ten at one time. Now there were suddenly thousands pressed in all around him, furiously intent on their own doings. Soft, and scrubbed, and decked out in gaudy colours, as freakish to him now as circus performers. Fashions had moved on while he was away facing death in the barren west of the World. Hats were worn at a different angle, sleeves had swollen to a wider cut, shirt collars had shrivelled to a length that would have been thought preposterously short a year before. Jezal snorted to himself. It seemed bizarre that such nonsense could ever have interested him, and he watched a group of perfumed dandies strutting past with the highest contempt.

  Their group dwindled as they passed on through the city. First Longfoot made his effusive farewells with much pressing of hands, talk of honours and privileges, and promises of reunion that Jezal suspected, and indeed rather hoped, were insincere. Near the great market square of the Four Corners, Quai was dispatched on some errand or other with all his habitual sullen silence. That left only the First of the Magi as a companion, with Ferro slouching angrily along behind.

  Being honest, Jezal would not have minded had the group dwindled considerably further. Ninefingers might have proved himself a staunch companion, but the rest of the dysfunctional family would hardly have been among Jezal's chosen dinner guests. He had long ago given up any hope that Ferro's armour of scowls would crack to reveal a caring soul within. But at least her abysmal temper was predictable. Bayaz, if anything, was an even more unnerving companion: one half grand-fatherly good humour, the other half who knew what? Whenever the old man opened his mouth Jezal flinched in anticipation of some ugly surprise.

  But he chatted pleasantly enough for the time being. 'Might I ask what your plans are now, Captain Luthar?'

  'Well, I suppose I will be sent to Angland, to fight against the Northmen.'

  'I imagine so. Although we never know what turns fate may take.'

  Jezal did not much care for the sound of that. 'And you? Will you be going back to…' He realised he had not the slightest idea of where the Magus had appeared from in the first place.

  'Not quite yet. I will remain in Adua for the moment. Great things are afoot, my boy, great things. Perhaps I will stay to see how they turn out.'

  'Move, bitch!' came a yell from the side of the road.

  Three members of the city watch had gathered round a dirty-faced girl in a tattered dress. One was leaning down over her with a stick clenched in his fist, shouting in her face while she cringed back. An unhappy-seeming press had gathered to watch, workmen and labourers mostly, scarcely cleaner than the beggar herself.

  'Why don't you let her be?' one grumbled.

  One of the watchmen took a warning step at them, raising his stick, while his friend seized hold of the beggar by her shoulder, kicking over a cup in the road, sending a few coins tinkling into the gutter.

  'That seems excessive,' said Jezal under his breath.

  'Well.' Bayaz watched down his nose. 'These sort of things happen all the time. Are you telling me you've never seen a beggar moved along before?'

  Jezal had, of course, often, and never raised an eyebrow. Beggars could not simply be left to clutter up the streets, after all. And yet for some reason the process was making him uncomfortable. The unfortunate waif kicked and cried, and the guardsman dragged her another stride on her back with entirely unnecessary violence, clearly enjoying himself. It was not so much the act itself that Jezal objected to, as that they would do it in front of him without a thought for his feelings. It rendered him somehow complicit.

  'That is a disgrace,' he hissed through gritted teeth.

  Bayaz shrugged. 'If it bothers you that much, why not do something about it?'

  The watchman chose that moment to seize the girl by her scruffy hair and give her a sharp blow with his stick, and she squealed and fell, her arms over her head. Jezal felt his face twist. In a moment he had shoved through the crowd and dealt the man a resounding boot to his backside, sending him sprawling in the gutter. One of his companions came forward with his stick out, but stumbled back a moment later. Jezal realised he had his steels drawn, the polished blades glinting in the shadows beside the building.

  The audience gasped and edged back. Jezal blinked. He had not intended the business to go anything like this far. Damn Bayaz and his idiotic advice. But there was nothing for it now but to carry it through. He assumed his most fearless and arrogant expression.

  'One step further and I'll stick you like the swine you are.' He looked from one of the watchmen to the other. 'Well? Do any of you care to test me?' He earnestly hoped that none of them did, but he need not have worried. They were predictably cowardly in the face of determined resistance, and loitered just out of range of his steels.

  'No one deals with the watch like that. We'll find you, you can depend on—'

  'Finding me will present no difficulty. My name is Captain Luthar, of the King's Own. I am resident in the Agriont. You cannot miss it. It is the fortress that dominates the city!' And he jabbed up the street with his long steel, making one of the watchmen stumble away in fear. 'I will receive you at your convenience and you can explain to my patron, Lord Marshal Varuz, your disgraceful behaviour towards this woman, a citizen of the Union guilty of no greater crime than being poor!'

  A ludicrously overblown speech, of course. Jezal found himself almost flushing with embarrassment at that last part. He had always despised poor people, and he was far
from sure his opinions had fundamentally changed, but he got carried away halfway through and had no choice but to finish with a flourish.

  Still, his words had their effect on the city watch. The three men backed away, for some reason grinning as if the whole business had gone just as they planned, leaving Jezal to the unwanted approval of the crowd.

  'Well done, lad!'

  'Good thing someone's got some guts.'

  'What did he say his name was?'

  'Captain Luthar!' roared Bayaz suddenly, causing Jezal to jerk round halfway through sheathing his steels. 'Captain Jezal dan Luthar, the winner of last year's Contest, just now returned from his adventures in the west! Luthar, the name!'

  'Luthar, did he say?'

  'The one who won the Contest?'

  'That's him! I saw him beat Gorst!'

  The whole crowd were staring, wide-eyed and respectful. One of them reached out, as though to touch the hem of his coat, and Jezal stumbled backwards, almost tripping over the beggar-girl who had been the cause of the whole fiasco.

  'Thank you,' she gushed, in an ugly commoner's accent rendered still less appealing by her bloody mouth. 'Oh, thank you, sir.'

  'It was nothing.' Jezal edged away, deeply uncomfortable. She was extremely dirty, at close quarters, and he had no wish to contract an illness. The attention of the group as a whole was, in fact, anything but pleasant. He continued to shuffle backwards while they watched him, all smiles and admiring mutterings.

  Ferro was frowning at him as they moved away from the Four Corners. 'Is there something?' he snapped.

  She shrugged. 'You're not as much of a coward as you were.'

  'My thanks for that epic praise.' He rounded on Bayaz. 'What the hell was that?'

  'That was you carrying out a charitable act, my boy, and I was proud to see it. It would seem my lessons have not been entirely wasted on you.'

  'I meant,' growled Jezal, who felt himself to have gained less than nothing from Bayaz' constant lecturing, 'what were you about, proclaiming my name to all and sundry? The story will now spread all over town!'

  'I had not considered that.' The Magus gave a faint smile. 'I simply felt that you deserved the credit for your noble actions. Helping those less fortunate, the aid of a lady in distress, protecting the weak and so forth. Admirable, truly.'

  'But—' muttered Jezal, unsure whether he was being taken for a fool.

  'Here our paths diverge, my young friend.'

  'Oh. They do?'

  'Where are you going?' snapped Ferro suspiciously.

  'I have a few matters to attend to,' said the Magus, 'and you will be coming with me.'

  'Why would I do that?' She appeared to be in a worse mood even than usual since they left the docks, which was no mean achievement.

  Bayaz' eyes rolled to the sky. 'Because you lack the social graces necessary to function for longer than five minutes on your own in such a place as this. Why else? You will be going back to the Agriont, I assume?' he asked Jezal.

  'Yes. Yes, of course.'

  'Well, then. I would like to thank you, Captain Luthar, for the part you played in that little adventure of ours.'

  'How dare you, you magical arsehole? The entire business was a colossal, painful, disfiguring waste of my time, and a failure to boot.' But what Jezal really said was, 'Of course, yes.' He took the old man's hand, preparing to give it a limp shake. 'It has been an honour.'

  Bayaz' grip was shockingly firm. 'That is good to hear.' Jezal found himself drawn very close to the old man's face, staring into his glittering green eyes at unnervingly close quarters. 'We may have the need to collaborate again.'

  Jezal blinked. Collaborate really was an ugly choice of word. 'Well then… er… perhaps I will… see you later?' Never would have been preferable, in his opinion.

  But Bayaz only grinned as he let go of Jezal's buzzing fingers. 'Oh, I feel sure we shall meet again.'

  The sun shone pleasantly through the branches of the aromatic cedar, casting a dappled shade on the ground beneath, just as it used to. A pleasant breeze fluttered through the courtyard and the birds twittered in the branches of the trees, just as they always had. The old buildings of the barracks had not changed, crowding in, coated with rustling ivy on all sides of the narrow courtyard. But there the similarity to Jezal's happy memories ended. A dusting of moss had crept up the legs of the chairs, the surface of the table had acquired a thick crust of bird droppings, the grass had gone undipped for weeks on end and seed-heads thrashed at Jezal's calves as he wandered past.

  The players themselves were long gone. He watched the shadows shifting on the grey wood, remembering the sound of their laughter, the taste of smoke and strong spirits, the feel of the cards in his hand. Here Jalenhorm had sat, playing at being tough and manly. Here Kaspa had laughed at jokes at his own expense. Here West had leaned back and shaken his head with resigned disapproval. Here Brint had shuffled nervously at his hand, hoping for big wins that never came.

  And here had been Jezal's place. He dragged the chair out from the clutching grass, sat down in it with one boot up on the table and rocked it onto its rear legs. It seemed hard to believe, now, that he had sat here, watching and scheming, thinking about how best to make his friends seem small. He told himself he would never have engaged in any such foolishness now. No more than a couple of hands, anyway.

  If he had thought that a thorough wash, a careful shave, a plucking of bristles and a long-winded arranging of hair would make him feel at home, he was disappointed. The familiar routines left him feeling like a stranger in his own dusty rooms. It was hard to become excited over the shining of the boots and buttons, or the arrangement of the gold braid just so.

  When he finally stood before the mirror, where long ago he had whiled away so many delightful hours, he found his reflection decidedly unnerving. A lean and weather-worn adventurer stared bright-eyed from the Visserine glass, his sandy beard doing little to disguise the ugly scar down his bent jaw. His old uniforms were all unpleasantly tight, scratchily starched, chokingly constricted round the collar. He no longer felt like he belonged in them to any degree. He no longer felt like a soldier.

  He scarcely even knew who he should report to, after all this time away. Every officer he was aware of, more or less, was with the army in Angland. He supposed he could have sought out Lord Marshal Varuz, had he really wanted to, but the fact was he had learned enough about danger now to not want to rush at it. He would do his duty, if he was asked. But it would have to find him first.

  In the meantime, he had other business to attend to. The very thought made him terrified and thrilled at once, and he pushed a finger inside his collar and tugged at it in an effort to relieve the pressure in his throat. It did not work. Still, as Logen Ninefingers had been so very fond of saying: it was better to do it, than to live with the fear of it. He picked up his dress sword, but after a minute of staring at the absurd brass scrollwork on the hilt, he tossed it on the floor and kicked it under his bed. Look less than you are, Logen would have said. He retrieved his travel-worn long steel and slid it through the clasp on his belt, took a deep breath, and walked to the door.

  There was nothing intimidating about the street. It was a quiet part of town, far off from chattering commerce and rumbling industry. In the next road a knife sharpener was throatily proclaiming his trade. Under the eaves of the modest houses a pigeon coo-cooed halfheartedly. Somewhere nearby the sound of clopping hooves and crackling carriage-wheels rose and faded. Otherwise all was quiet.

  He had already walked past the house once in each direction, and dared not do so again for fear that Ardee would see him through a window, recognise him, and wonder what the hell he was up to. So he made circuits of the upper part of the street, practising what he would say when she appeared at the door.

  'I am returned.' No, no, too high-blown. 'Hello, how are you?' No, too casual. 'It's me, Luthar.' Too stiff. 'Ardee… I've missed you.' Too needy. He saw a man frowning at him from an upstairs window, and he c
oughed and made off quickly towards the house, murmuring to himself over and over. 'Better to do it, better to do it, better to do it…'

  His fist pounded against the wood. He stood and waited, heart thumping in his teeth. The latch clicked and Jezal put on his most ingratiating smile. The door opened and a short, round-faced and highly unattractive girl stared at him from the doorway. There could be no doubt, however things had changed, that she was not Ardee. 'Yes?'

  'Er…' A servant. How could he have been such a fool as to think Ardee would open her own front door? She was a commoner, not a beggar. He cleared his throat. 'I am returned… I mean to say… does Ardee West live here?'

  'She does.' The maid opened the door far enough for Jezal to step through into the dim hallway. 'Who shall I say is calling?'

  'Captain Luthar.'

  Her head snapped round as though it had an invisible string attached to it and he had given it a sudden jerk. 'Captain… Jezal dan Luthar?'

  'Yes,' he muttered, mystified. Could Ardee have been discussing him with the help?

  'Oh… oh, if you wait…' The maid pointed to a doorway and hurried off, eyes wide, quite as if the Emperor of Gurkhul had come calling.

  The dim living room gave the impression of having been decorated by someone with too much money, too little taste, and not nearly enough space for their ambitions. There were several garishly upholstered chairs, an over-sized and over-decorated cabinet, and a monumental canvas on one wall which, had it been any bigger, would have required the room to be knocked through into the neighbouring house. Two dusty shafts of light came in through the gaps in the curtains, gleaming on the highly polished, if slightly wonky, surface of an antique table. Each piece might have passed muster on its own, but crowded together the effect was quite suffocating. Still, Jezal told himself as he frowned round at it all, he had come for Ardee, not for her furniture.

  It was ridiculous. His knees were weak, his mouth was dry, his head was spinning, and with every moment that passed it got worse. He had not felt this scared in Aulcus, with a crowd of screaming Shanka bearing down on him. He took a nervous circuit of the room, fists clenching and unclenching. He peered out into the quiet street. He leaned over a chair to examine the massive painting. A muscular-seeming king lounged in an outsize crown while fur-trimmed lords bowed and scraped around his feet. Harod the Great, Jezal guessed, but the recognition brought him little joy. Bayaz' favourite and most tiresome topic of conversation had been the achievements of that man. Harod the Great could be pickled in vinegar for all Jezal cared. Harod the Great could go—