Last Argument of Kings

by Joe Abercrombie

  'By the fucking dead,' breathed Logen.

  He thought at first it must be some trick of the light that made him look the size he did. Tul Duru Thunderhead had been a big bastard, no doubt, big enough that some had called him a giant. But he'd still looked like a man. Fenris the Feared was built on such a scale that he seemed something else. A race apart. A giant indeed, stepped out from old stories and made flesh. A lot of flesh.

  His face squirmed as he walked, great bald head jerking from side to side. His mouth sneered and grinned, his eyes winked and bulged by turns. One half of him was blue. No other way to put it. A neat line down his face divided blue skin from pale. His huge right arm was white. His left was blue all the long way from shoulder to the tips of his great fingers. In that hand he carried a sack, swinging back and forward with each step, bulging as if it was stuffed with hammers.

  A couple of Bethod's shield-carriers cringed out of his way, looking like children beside him, grimacing as if death itself was breathing on their necks. The Feared stepped through into the circle, and Logen saw the blue marks were writing, just as the spirit had told him. Twisted symbols, scrawled over every part of his left side—hand, arm, face, lips even. The words of Glustrod, written in the Old Time.

  The Feared stopped a few strides distant, and a sickly horror seemed to wash out from him and over the silent crowd, as if a great weight was pressing on Logen's chest, squeezing out his courage. But the task was simple enough, in its way. If the Feared's painted side couldn't be harmed, Logen would just have to carve the rest of him, and carve it deep. He'd beaten some hard men in the circle. Ten of the hardest bastards in all the North. This was just one more. Or so he tried to tell himself.

  'Where's Bethod?' He'd meant to bellow it, all defiance, but it came out a tame, dry squawk.

  'I can watch you die just as well from up here!' The King of the Northmen stood on the battlements above the open gate, well-groomed and happy, Pale-as-Snow and a few guards stood about him. If he'd had any trouble sleeping, Logen would never have known it. The morning breeze stirred his hair and the thick fur round his shoulders, the morning sun shone on the golden chain, struck sparks from the diamond on his brow. 'Glad you came! I was worried you'd make a run for it!' He gave a carefree sigh and it smoked on the sharp air. 'It's morning, like you said. Let's get started.'

  Logen looked into the Feared's bulging, twitching, crazy eyes, and swallowed.

  'We're gathered here to witness a challenge!' roared Crummock. 'A challenge to put an end to this war, and settle the blood between Bethod, who's taken to calling himself King of the Northmen, and Furious, who speaks for the Union. Bethod wins, the siege is lifted, and the Union leaves the North. Furious wins, then the gates of Carleon are opened, and Bethod stands at his mercy. Do I speak true?'

  'You do,' said West, his voice sounding small in all that space.

  'Aye.' Up on his walls, Bethod waved a lazy hand. 'Get to it, fat man.'

  'Then name yourselves, champions!' shouted Crummock, 'and list your pedigree!'

  Logen took a step forward. It was a hard step to take, as if he was pushing against a great wind, but he took it anyway, tilted his head back and looked the Feared full in his writhing face. 'I'm the Bloody-Nine, and there's no number on the men I've killed.' The words came out soft and dead. No pride in his empty voice, but no fear either. A cold fact. Cold as the winter. 'Ten challenges I've given, and I won 'em all. In this circle I beat Shama Heartless, Rudd Threetrees, Harding Grim, Tul Duru Thunderhead, Black Dow, and more besides. If I listed the Named Men I've put back in the mud we'd be here at sunrise tomorrow. There's not a man in the North don't know my work.'

  Nothing changed in the giant's face. Nothing more than usual, at least. 'My name is Fenris the Feared. My achievements are all in the past.' He held up his painted hand, and squeezed the great fingers, and the sinews in his huge blue arm bulged like knotted tree roots. 'With these signs great Glustrod marked me out his chosen. With this hand I tore down the statues of Aulcus. Now I kill little men, in little wars.' Logen could just make out a tiny shrug of his massive shoulders. 'Such is the way of things.'

  Crummock looked at Logen, and he raised his brows. 'Alright then. What weapons have you carried to the fight?'

  Logen lifted the heavy sword, forged by Kanedias for his war against the Magi, and held it up to the light. A stride of dull metal, the edge glittered faintly in the pale sunrise. 'This blade.' He stabbed it down into the earth between them and left it standing there.

  The Feared threw his sack rattling down and it sagged open. Inside were great black plates, spiked and studded, scarred and battered. 'This armour.' Logen looked at that vast weight of dark iron, and licked his teeth. If the Feared won the spin he could take the sword and leave Logen with a pile of useless armour way too big for him. What would he do then? Hide under it? He only had to hope his luck stuck out a few minutes longer.

  'Alright, my beauties.' Crummock set his shield down on its rim and took hold of the edge. 'Painted or plain, Ninefingers?'

  'Painted.' Crummock ripped the shield round and set it spinning. Round and round, it went—painted, plain, painted, plain. Hope and despair swapped with every turn. The wood started to slow, to wobble on its rim. It dropped down flat, plain side up, the straps flopping.

  So much for luck.

  Crummock winced. He looked up at the giant. 'You've got the choice, big lad.'

  The Feared took hold of the Maker's blade and slid it from the earth. It looked like a toy in his monstrous hand. His bulging eyes rolled up to Logen's, and his great mouth twisted into a smile. He tossed the sword down at Logen's feet and it dropped in the dirt.

  'Take your knife, little man.'

  The sound of raised voices floated thin on the breeze. 'Alright,' hissed Dow, much too loud for the Dogman's nerves, 'they're getting started!'

  'I can hear that!' Dogman snapped, coiling the rope round and round into easy circles, ready to throw.

  'You know what you're doing with that? I could do without it dropping on me.'

  'That so?' Dogman swung the grapple back and forward a touch, feeling the weight. 'I was just thinking that, after it sticking in that wall, it sticking in your fat head was the second best outcome.' He spun it round in a circle, then a wider one, letting some rope slip through his hand, then he hefted it all the way and let it fly. It sailed up, real neat, the rope uncoiling after it, and over the battlements. Dogman winced as he heard it clatter on the walkway, but no one came. He pulled on the rope. A stride or two slid down, and then it caught. Felt firm as a rock.

  'First time,' said Grim.

  Dogman nodded, hardly able to believe it himself. 'What are the odds? Who's first?'

  Dow grinned at him. 'Whoever's got hold o' the rope now, I reckon.'

  As the Dogman started climbing, he found he was going over all the ways a man could get killed going up this wall. Grapple slipped, and he fell. Rope frayed, and snapped, and he fell. Someone had seen the grapple, was waiting for him to get to the top before they cut the rope. Or they were waiting for him to get to the top before they cut his throat. Or they were just now calling for a dozen big men to take prisoner whatever idiot it was trying to climb into a city on his own.

  His boots scuffled at the rough stone, the hemp bit at his hands, his arms burned at the work, and all the while he did his best to keep his rasping breath quiet. The battlements edged closer, then closer, then he was there. He hooked his fingers onto the stone and peered over. The walkway was empty, both ways. He slipped over the parapet, sliding a knife out, just in case. You can never have too many knives, and all that. He checked the grapple was caught firm, then he leaned over, saw Dow at the bottom looking up, Grim with the rope in his hands, one foot on the wall, ready to climb. Dogman beckoned to him to say come, watched him start up, hand over hand, Dow holding to the bottom of the rope to stop it flapping. Soon enough he was halfway—

  'What the fuck—'

  Dogman jerked his head left. There
were a pair of Thralls not far off, just stepped out from a door to the nearest tower and onto the wall. They stared at him, and he stared back, seemed like the longest time.

  'There's a rope here!' he shouted, brandishing his knife around and making like he was trying to cut it away from the grapple. 'Some bastard's trying to climb in!'

  'By the dead!' One came running, gawped down at Grim swinging around. 'He's coming up now!'

  The other one pulled his sword out. 'Don't worry 'bout that.' He lifted it, grinning, ready to chop through the rope. Then he stopped. 'Here—why you all muddy?'

  Dogman stabbed him in the chest, hard as he could, and again. 'Eeeeee!' wailed the Thrall, face screwed up, lurching back against the battlements and dropping his sword over the side. His mate came charging up, swinging a big mace. Dogman ducked under it, but the Thrall barrelled into him and brought him down on his back, head cracking on stone.

  The mace clattered away and they wrestled around, the Thrall kicking and punching while Dogman tried to get his hands round his throat, stop him from calling out. They rolled over one way, then back the other, struggled up to standing and tottered about down the walkway. The Thrall got his shoulder in Dogman's armpit and shoved him back up against the battlements, trying to bundle him over.

  'Shit,' gasped the Dogman as his feet left the ground. He could feel his arse scraping the stone, but still he clung on, hands tight round the Thrall's neck, stopping him getting a good breath. He went up another inch, felt his head forced back, almost more weight on the wrong side of the parapet than the right.

  'Over you go, you fucker!' croaked the Thrall, working his chin away from Dogman's hands and pushing him a touch further, 'over you—' His eyes went wide. He stumbled back, a shaft sticking out of his side. 'Oh, I don't—' Another thumped into his neck and he lurched a step, would've fallen off the back of the wall if the Dogman hadn't grabbed his arm and dragged him down onto the walkway, held him there while he slobbered his last breaths.

  When he was finished, Dogman rolled up and stood bent over the corpse, breathing. Grim hurried over, taking a good look around to make sure no one else was likely to happen by. 'Alright?'

  'Just once. Just once I'd like to get the help before I'm at the point o' getting killed.'

  'Better'n after.' The Dogman had to admit there was some truth to that. He watched Dow pull himself over the battlements and roll down onto the walkway. The Thrall Dogman had stabbed was still breathing, just about, sat near the grapple. Dow chopped a piece out of his skull with his axe as he walked past, careless as if he was chopping logs.

  He shook his head. 'I leave the two o' you alone for ten breaths together and look what happens. Two dead men, eh?' Dow leaned down, stuck two fingers in one of the holes Dogman's knife had made, pulled them out and smeared blood across one side of his face. He grinned up. 'What do you reckon we can do with two dead men?'

  The Feared seemed to fill the circle, one half bare and blue, the other cased in black iron, a monster torn free from legends. There was nowhere to hide from his great fists, nowhere to hide from the fear of him. Shields rattled and clashed, men roared and bellowed, a sea of blurred faces twisted with mad fury.

  Logen crept around the edge of the short grass, trying to keep light on his feet. He might've been smaller, but he was quicker, cleverer. At least he hoped he was. He had to be, or he was mud. Keep moving, rolling, ducking, stay out of the way and pick his moment. Above all, don't get hit. Not getting hit was the first thing.

  The giant came at him out of nowhere, his great tattooed fist a blue blur. Logen threw himself out of the way but it still grazed his cheek and caught his shoulder, sent him stumbling. So much for not getting hit. A shield, and not a friendly one, shoved him in the back and he lurched the other way, head whipping forward. He pitched on his face, nearly cut himself on his own sword, rolled desperately to the side and saw the Feared's huge boot thud into the ground, soil flying where his skull had been a moment before.

  Logen scrabbled up in time to see the blue hand coming at him again. He ducked underneath it, hacked at the Feared's tattooed flesh as he reeled past. The Maker's sword thudded deep into the giant's thigh like a spade into turf. The huge leg buckled and he dropped forward onto his armoured knee. It should have been a killing blow, right through the big veins, but there was hardly more blood than from a shaving-scratch.

  Still, if one thing fails you try another. Logen roared as he chopped at the Feared's bald head. The blade clanged against the armour on the giant's right arm, raised just in time. It scraped down that black steel and slid off, harmless, chopping into the earth and leaving Logen's hands buzzing.

  'Ooof!' The Feared's knee sank into his gut, folded him up and sent him staggering, needing to cough but not having the air to do it. The giant had already found his feet again, armoured hand swinging back, a lump of black iron the size of a man's head. Logen dived sideways, rolling across the short grass, felt the wind of the great arm ripping past him. It crashed into the shield where he'd been standing, broke it into splintered pieces, flung the man holding it wailing into the earth.

  It seemed the spirit had been right. The painted side couldn't be hurt. Logen crouched, waiting for the clawing pain in his stomach to fade enough for him to breathe, trying to think of some trick to use and coming up with nothing. The Feared turned his writhing face towards Logen. Behind him on the ground the felled man whimpered under the wreckage of his shield. The Carls either side of him shuffled in to close the gap with some reluctance.

  The giant took a slow step forwards, and Logen took a painful step back.

  'Still alive,' he whispered to himself. But how long for, it was hard to say.

  West had never in his life felt so scared, so exhilarated, so very much alive. Not even when he won the Contest with all the wide Square of Marshals cheering for him. Not even when he stormed the walls of Ulrioch, and burst out from the dust and chaos into the warm sunlight. His skin tingled with hope and horror. His hands jerked helplessly with Ninefingers' movements. His lips murmured pointless advice, silent encouragement. Beside him Pike and Jalenhorm jostled, shoved, shouted themselves hoarse. Behind them the wide crowd roared, straining to see. On the walls they leaned out, screaming and shaking their fists in the air. The circle of men flexed with the movements of the fighters, never still, bowing out and sucking in as the champions came forward or fell back.

  And almost always, so far, the one falling back was Ninefingers. A great brute of a man by most standards, he seemed tiny, weak and brittle in that terrifying company. To make matters a great deal worse, there was something very strange at work here. Something West could only have called magic. Great wounds, deadly wounds, closed in the Feared's blue skin before his very eyes. This thing was not a man. It could only be a devil, and whenever it towered over him West felt a fear as though he was standing at the very verge of hell.

  West grimaced as Ninefingers lurched helplessly against the shields on the far side of the circle. The Feared raised his armoured fist to deliver a blow that could surely crush a skull to jelly. But it hit nothing but air. Ninefingers jerked away at the last moment and let the iron miss his jaw by a hair. His heavy sword slashed down, bounced off the Feared's armoured shoulder with a resounding clang. The giant stumbled back and Ninefingers came after him, pale scars stretched on his rigid face.

  'Yes!' hissed West, the men around him bellowing their approval.

  The next blow shrieked down the giant's armoured side, leaving a long, bright scratch and digging up a great sod of earth. The last chopped deep into his painted ribs and spat out a misty spray of blood, knocked him flailing off balance. West's mouth opened wide as the great shadow fell across him. The Feared toppled against his shield like a falling tree and drove him trembling to his knees, wilting under the great weight, his stomach rolling with horror and disgust.

  Then he saw it. One of the buckles on the spiked and studded armour, just below the giant's knee, was inches from the fingers of West's f
ree hand. All he could think of, in that moment, was that Bethod might escape, after all the dead men he had left, scattered up and down the length of Angland. He gritted his teeth and snatched hold of the end of the leather strap, thick as a man's belt. He dragged at it as the Feared shoved his huge bulk up. The buckle came jingling open, the armour on the mighty calf flapped loose as his foot thumped down again, as his arm lashed out and knocked Ninefingers stumbling away.

  West struggled from the dirt, already greatly regretting his impulsiveness. He glanced around the circle, searching for any sign that someone had seen him, but all eyes were fixed on the fighters. It seemed now a tiny, petulant sort of sabotage that could never make the slightest difference. Beyond getting him killed, of course. It was a fact he had known from childhood. Catch you cheating in a Northern duel, and they'll cut the bloody cross in you and pull your guts out.

  'Gah!' Logen jerked away from the armoured fist, tottered to his right as the blue one rushed past his face, dived to his left as the iron hand lashed at him again, slid and nearly fell. Any one of those blows had been hard enough to take his head off. He saw the painted arm go back, gritted his teeth as he dodged around another of the Feared's mighty punches, already swinging the sword up and over.

  The blade sheared neatly through the blue arm, just below the elbow, sent it tumbling away across the circle along with a gout of blood. Logen heaved air into his burning lungs and raised the Maker's sword high, setting himself for one last effort. The Feared's eyes rolled up towards the dull grey blade. He jerked his head to one side and it chopped deep into his painted skull, showering out specks of dark blood and splitting his head down to the eyebrow.

  The giant's armoured elbow crunched into Logen's ribs, half-lifted him off his feet and flung him kicking across the circle. He bounced from a shield and sprawled on his face, lay there spitting out dirt while the blurry world spun around him.