by Lola Gabriel
Rachel started to shake her head. Bastian held her gaze.
“Please, Rachel. One coffee. Not even half an hour of your time. We’ll talk, and if at the end of that talk, you still don’t want anything to do with me, then I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again. I promise.”
“Okay. One coffee,” Rachel said.
She didn’t think she really had a choice, and she reasoned that at least if she went with him to the café, there would be other people around, and although she didn’t doubt that Bastian could take any of them who stepped in, she knew he wouldn’t want to give away his secret identity. She knew she would feel safer when they were around other people. And she hoped that being around other people would take away some of the intensity of the situation and stop her feeling like she might jump on Bastian at any second and kiss him like she had never kissed anyone before.
10
Bastian turned from the counter and spotted Rachel sitting at a table by the window. He was glad to see she hadn’t slipped away while he got the coffees. He made his way toward her, smiling to himself when he remembered that the first time he had met Rachel, she was sitting in the window of a diner. He reached the table and put the coffees down and sat down opposite Rachel. She thanked him for the coffee and wrapped her hands around the mug, although she didn’t pick it up.
“So,” Bastian said after a moment. “Two years ago, you went to Brady’s house and asked him to have me contact you. I’m assuming that was so you could tell me you were pregnant. I called you not an hour later and you didn’t take my call and I later learned you’d skipped town. What changed in that hour, Rachel?”
“I decided it wasn’t fair to force you into being a parent. Keeping the baby was my decision and I decided not to involve you in it,” Rachel said.
Bastian supposed in a way that was progress. Rachel was at least no longer trying to deny that she had had his baby. Her reason didn’t ring true to him at all, though.
“Right,” Bastian smiled. “So, instead of taking my call and just making something up, you decided to leave town within the hour and not even bother letting your landlord know your forwarding address. That makes sense.”
Rachel shrugged and Bastian sighed.
“This will go better if you’re honest with me, Rachel. Let’s try starting from the beginning and building up to the big stuff. Why didn’t you tell me you were a bear when we first met?”
“Because at that time, I didn’t know you were a bear and it’s obviously not something I go around telling random people. Why didn’t you tell me about the bear thing?” Rachel asked.
“Same reason,” Bastian smiled. “So, you’re a bear living in District 212 and yet I don’t know you. What happened with your old pack? Did you have some sort of falling out with them?”
“I’ve never been part of a pack and I don’t want to ever be in a pack. I didn’t want to be a bear in the first place and I want no part in any of that,” Rachel snapped.
Bastian raised an eyebrow, shocked at the venom in Rachel’s tone.
“What do you mean?” he asked. “What happened to make you feel that way?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Rachel said, glancing out of the window.
She looked uncomfortable, and Bastian decided not to push it. Her reasons for not wanting to be a part of a pack were her own business. He turned the conversation back to the baby.
“What’s her name?” he asked. “My baby.”
“Stephanie,” Rachel said.
“That’s a lovely name,” Bastian smiled. “I really would like to meet her.”
“No way,” Rachel said, shaking her head.
“Why not? She’s my daughter, Rachel,” Bastian said, hurt by her refusal to even consider the possibility of him meeting Stephanie.
“I’ve told you. I want no part of your pack or anything to do with the bear stuff,” Rachel said.
“Rachel, I don’t know what happened to make you so afraid of bears, but you are one. Not being part of a pack doesn’t change that. And Stephanie is a bear too. When she turns eighteen, her bear side will wake up and she has a right to be allowed to explore that side of herself,” Bastian said.
“No,” Rachel said. “She is never going to be allowed to explore that side of herself. I won’t let my daughter become a monster.”
“A monster? Rachel, what are you talking about? She’s not going to become a monster,” Bastian said, shocked again at Rachel’s outburst. She looked out of the window again, refusing to look at him. “But let’s worry about that when the time comes. For now, please give me one good reason why I can’t see my daughter.”
“You want to know the truth?” Rachel said.
She finally turned back from the window and looked at him. He nodded his head.
“Because I don’t want my daughter anywhere near you after what you did to me. And to countless others,” Rachel said.
“What? Having a one-night stand with you and then not calling you? You told me it was what you wanted, Rachel,” Bastian said.
Rachel sighed and shook her head.
“I’m not talking about that. You know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m sorry. I really don’t,” Bastian said.
Rachel studied his face for a moment and then she shook her head again.
“Wow. You really don’t know, do you? Did you just trust Lewis to pick good ones without even getting a look at them? Yeah, that’s right, Bastian. I’m a bear because you paid some creep to make me one so I could become a breeding machine for your pack. I guess you didn’t know I knew that, huh?”
11
Rachel bit down on her bottom lip after her outburst. She was afraid she had said too much. Now that Bastian knew that she knew about his orders, what would he be willing to do to make sure she never spoke to anyone else about this? Maybe she could convince him she would keep it quiet. She had never spoken of it before and he had to know that much.
She hardly dared to look at Bastian, afraid of the expression of anger she would see on his face. She told herself she had already done the worst thing by blurting out the truth, so she might as well look him in the eye as he made his threats. She looked at him, and she was surprised to see he didn’t look angry. He looked surprised and a little bit hurt. He shook his head and blew out a low whistle though his teeth.
“I know we only spent one night together, Rachel, but during that time, did I do anything to make you think I was evil?” Bastian asked.
Rachel opened her mouth and shut it again, actually considering his question. She remembered his gentle yet passionate lovemaking, his concern for her pain the next morning, and him being so keen to make sure she had a good time with him. At no point had she felt threatened or afraid of Bastian. She shook her head.
“Do you really think I would do something like that?” Bastian asked.
“I didn’t,” Rachel said. “Back then, I mean. You seemed normal. Kind.”
“But now you do?” Bastian asked.
“I honestly don’t know what to think anymore,” Rachel admitted. “Being honest, I can’t picture you being that heartless. But you are a bear, and you are the alpha bear of this state or district or whatever you want to call it, right?”
“Yes. But being the alpha bear just means I run the pack. It doesn’t make me a monster, Rachel. Do you remember the night we met? I told you I managed people. That’s what I really do. I manage the pack, make sure everyone is safe and the pack is thriving.”
“By bringing in breeding machines to produce girl children for the pack? Is that why you want to see Stephanie? So you can snatch her away and make her a part of your pack?”
“I want to see Stephanie because she’s my daughter. If, in the future, both of you wanted to join the pack, obviously you’d be welcome to. But I have no intention of forcing that on either of you,” Bastian said. “And as for the rest of it, where are you getting this from?”
“Lewis told me everything,” Rachel said. “B
ack before you decided you didn’t want me and he let me go. He took me and turned me into a bear and he told me it was for the alpha bear of the district. You’ve admitted that’s you.”
“You were the one who got away,” Bastian said, his eyes widening.
Rachel looked at him in shock, amazed that he had practically admitted it was true that he had ordered her to be turned.
“So, Lewis didn’t let me go because you didn’t want me anymore. He had some sort of attack of conscience and I got away?” she said.
“No,” Bastian said. “Lewis doesn’t have a conscience.”
“So, what happened then?” Rachel asked.
She was finding herself less afraid of Bastian and more curious as to what the hell was going on here.
“What Lewis told you about the breeding machine thing, that used to be true of the pack, but it was before I took over as alpha. My father was the alpha before me and he played off the abundance of new female children as intakes from other packs. I had no idea it was happening. Only my father and his beta knew about the arrangement. And Lewis, obviously. A member of the pack found out and came to me with it. I confronted my father about it. To cut a long story short, I made the pack aware of what was happening and told them that either I was taking over as alpha, or I was leaving as I wanted no part in turning women who didn’t want to be turned. The pack, including my mother, who had no idea what her mate had been doing behind her back, sided with me and my father was exiled. I took over as the pack alpha ten years ago, and on the day I took over, the old beta came to me. He was exiled too for his part in it all, but he had a bit more of a conscience than my father and he told me that Lewis had a girl ready and waiting to be picked up. I had the beta call him and tell him the arrangement was done and that he would be paid for the last girl, but he was to set her free in exchange for the fee. I had no idea you had already been turned. I figured that would have been left for my father to do.”
Rachel shook her head.
“No. Lewis said that’s what happens if he’s selling someone to a man who actually wants a mate, to help them bond. He told me for that arrangement, he was to turn the girls so they were ready to go when they were collected.”
“Fucking hell, Rachel. On behalf of my father and the pack, I can only apologize to you. If I had known you’d already been turned, I’d have collected you and at least helped you to come to terms with being a bear.”
“It wouldn’t have helped. I was convinced then that all bears were monsters,” Rachel said.
“And now?” Bastian asked.
“Maybe they’re not all bad,” she said with a half-smile.
“Honestly, Rachel, most bears are just normal people who happen to be able to shift into a bear. They just want to live their lives,” Bastian said.
Rachel picked her cup up and sipped from it. She wrinkled her nose as the coffee was almost cold, but she took another drink anyway.
“I had everything all wrong, didn’t I?” she said. “You were actually a good guy who stopped people being used against their will.”
Bastian nodded and Rachel shook her head.
“I’m sorry. I should have known you weren’t capable of something like that,” she said.
“It’s okay,” Bastian replied. “I understand why you were afraid. I mean, I wish you’d talked to me about it back then, but I understand why you didn’t.”
Rachel flashed him a smile and then glanced out of the window again, unsure of what to say now that the truth was out. And she believed what he had told her was the truth. He had sounded so genuine when he explained it all to her, and it explained why Lewis had let her go. It certainly made more sense than Lewis suddenly having an attack of conscience. Bastian also fell quiet for a moment, and then he spoke again.
“So, how did you cope with being a bear with no support?” Bastian asked. “How did you learn everything it means to be a bear?”
“Lewis told me some of it. The rest I picked up off the internet. Although I realize some of that is just legend.”
“Weren’t you afraid the first time you turned? Doing it alone, I mean?” Bastian asked.
“I’ve never turned. I’ve been a bear shifter for ten years and never once have I actually let myself be a bear. Remember, I thought all bears were monsters. I was afraid that if I let that side of myself out, I would become a monster,” Rachel said.
“Oh, Rachel,” Bastian said. “That wouldn’t have happened. Your bear is an extension of you. If you’re a good person, then embracing your bear won’t make you a bad person. How did you keep it at bay? It must have been hard if you never let it out.”
“I learned to swallow it down, I guess,” Rachel said. She looked at Bastian and smiled. “Funnily enough, the hardest it ever fought to come out was when you and I were hooking up.”
Bastian smiled and nodded.
“It figures. While the bear is an extension of you, it’s still an animal and it responds to the basic instincts. Lust. Fear. That kind of thing. It would have sensed the bear in me too. I have been a bear for a long time and I am completely in control of myself, but when we were together, I had a hard time keeping my bear down too.”
“Really?” Rachel asked.
“Really,” Bastian agreed. “So now that you know we’re not all monsters, do you think you would ever consider joining the pack?”
Rachel shook her head.
“I don’t think so. I’m happy with my life the way it is right now, and even though I believe what you’re telling me, I have gotten by this long without feeling the need to turn and I can’t see that changing any time soon.”
“I understand that, but if you ever change your mind, the offer is there. It gets lonely being immortal if you don’t have immortal friends,” Bastian said.
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine,” Rachel said. “And don’t think for a minute Stephanie is going to have any part in this pack of yours. But if you still want to meet her…”
“More than anything,” Bastian interrupted.
“You can meet her on Saturday morning,” Rachel said.
“But it’s only Thursday,” Bastian said.
“I know,” Rachel said. “But when I get home tonight, it will almost be her bedtime. And I’m at work tomorrow. Is it really too much to ask for you to stick around for a couple of days?”
“No, it’s not that. I just really wanted to meet her as soon as possible,” Bastian said.
“Well, it’s Saturday at the earliest. And if I find out you’ve been to my house again, then I’ll leave and take Stephanie with me and you’ll never get to see her,” Rachel warned Bastian.
Bastian held his hands up in surrender.
“I swear I won’t. Saturday it is. But what do you mean come to your house again? I don’t even know where you live,” Bastian said.
“You said you’d already seen Stephanie. I figured you’d gone to the house and Lena, the nanny, let you in,” she said.
Bastian shook his head.
“No. I didn’t want to turn up at your door and scare you, so instead of trying to get your address, I waited here for you. It was just a strange coincidence that I met Stephanie. Lena, was it? She happened to sit down on the bench with me and we got chatting. Stephanie got fussy and she got her out of the stroller. And I just knew. My bear recognized her,” Bastian explained.
Rachel nodded and Bastian winced.
“What?” Rachel asked.
“I think I might have inadvertently scared your nanny. She’s bound to tell you about the weirdo she met in the park and I was that weirdo. Like I said, when I first saw Stephanie, my bear knew her. I knew she was my daughter. And I felt this overwhelming rush of love. I asked Lena if I could hold the baby.”
“Oh my God, Bastian, are you nuts? You can’t just go around asking strangers if you can hold their babies,” Rachel burst out.
“I know. I realized as soon as I said it. She made her excuses and got the hell out of there. I thought of going after her and tryi
ng to reassure her, but I figured if she thought I was chasing her through the park, it would only scare her more.”
“Well, at least I know she takes Stephanie’s safety seriously,” Rachel laughed.
“Oh, she does. At that point, she’d already given me the side eye when I told her none of the kids in the park were mine. I told her I was meeting my wife and son just so she didn’t think I was some sort of pervert,” Bastian laughed.
Rachel laughed with him and shook her head.
“You know,” Bastian said when his laughter faded away, “we haven’t seen each other in two years and yet I feel like we’ve never been apart. Is that weird?”
“Yeah,” Rachel said. She smiled. “But I was thinking the same thing.”
“I can’t believe a misunderstanding has kept us from doing this sooner,” Bastian said.
“Me neither,” Rachel said.
“Do you want to know what I thought when Brady first told me you were a bear and that you were pregnant after you’d been by the house?” Bastian said. Rachel nodded. “I thought you knew I was the alpha of the district and you’d purposely seduced me so you could have my baby.”
“Wow. Arrogant much?” Rachel laughed.
“Only a little bit,” Bastian grinned.
Rachel picked her cup up and drained the last of her cold coffee.
“I really do have to get going. Lena will be getting worried if I don’t show up soon,” Rachel said, standing up.
“So, Saturday?” Bastian asked, also standing up.
Rachel nodded. She handed Bastian her cell phone.
“Put your number in and I’ll text you the address,” she said.
“On Saturday morning?” Bastian grinned as he entered his number into Rachel’s cell phone.
She had enjoyed their time together and it was clear to her that Bastian was no monster. She took her cell phone back from Bastian and quickly typed out a text to him with her address in it. She hit send.