by Lola Gabriel
“See you Saturday,” she said as she left.
12
Thursday night and all day and night Friday had dragged like mad for Bastian. He had tried to concentrate on getting some work done just to pass the time, but he couldn’t concentrate on it for more than five minutes, and each little block of five minutes felt like five hours. He wasn’t sure what he was more excited about—reconnecting with Rachel, or meeting Stephanie.
He had managed to convince himself over the last two years that his feelings for Rachel had been imagined, that he’d built it up into something it wasn’t in his head, but seeing her again, it had all come rushing back to him, and he had found himself fantasizing about being with her. It wasn’t like he was putting her in danger now. She was a bear anyway, and he figured if anything, she would be safer with him than she would be going at it alone.
He knew he had to fight the feeling, though. Rachel had made it clear she wanted no part of being a member of the pack, and by extension, that meant she wouldn’t want to be around the members. He couldn’t just walk away from the pack—they were his life, his family. He also thought that if he and Rachel started anything, it could complicate things for him having a relationship with Stephanie, and more than anything, he wanted to be able to bond with his baby.
Bastian pushed aside all of his thoughts and stood up. It was finally time for him to leave the hotel he was staying in and drive over to Rachel’s place. He left the hotel and went to the parking lot and got into his rental car. He had already worked out his route and he knew it was about a fifteen-minute drive. Rachel had texted him earlier, asking him to come at around ten a.m., and it was just after half past nine now. He wasn’t willing to risk being late. It was better to be early and wait in the car until the right time. He didn’t think Rachel would be upset if he hit traffic and was five or ten minutes late because of it, but he wasn’t willing to risk her calling the whole thing off for it.
He drove across the city and slowed down as he pulled onto Rachel’s block. It seemed like a nice enough place to live. The houses were fairly small, but they all looked clean and in good repair and Bastian relaxed a little bit. He didn’t like the thought of his daughter living anywhere that felt dangerous, not when he had enough money to house them anywhere Rachel wanted to go. He made a mental note to talk to her about setting up some sort of monthly payment for Stephanie.
The voice on his GPS told him he had arrived at his destination and he pulled up outside of the house. It was much like all of the others—white-fronted with a porch and a neat little garden. Bastian could feel the nerves swirling inside of him as he sat in the car, waiting for the minutes to pass. It was ten to ten and he decided to wait until five to ten to get out of the car and knock on Rachel’s front door.
A man walked toward the car, walking a small white dog. He kept glancing at Bastian and Bastian realized he was probably trying to work out who he was and why he was sitting in the street here. He leaned over and began to dig around in the glove compartment as though he was looking for something. The man walked past without stopping and Bastian looked at him in the rearview mirror. He glanced back once. Bastian told himself to relax. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, and the man was probably more curious than suspicious. And besides, if he did call the police or anything, surely Rachel would tell them she knew him and he had her permission to come to the house.
At exactly five to ten, Bastian took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. He locked it and walked up to the little white wooden gate. He pushed it open and walked up Rachel’s path. His stomach was rolling with nerves and excitement. This was it. He was finally going to meet his daughter. He knocked on Rachel’s door and waited, suddenly nervous that she wouldn’t be here, that she had left town and kept in touch with him to keep him from getting suspicious. Her car wasn’t in the driveway and that made Bastian even more nervous. He told himself to calm down; it was probably in the garage that was attached to the house.
The door opened and Bastian relaxed when Rachel smiled out at him.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” Bastian replied.
For a moment, that was all they said. Rachel stood on the doorstep, peering out at Bastian, and he couldn’t help but notice how good she looked in her short, white sundress, her legs and feet bare. He imagined himself running his hand over her smooth legs, pushing her dress up around her hips and making love to her. He shook his head, shaking away the thought as quickly as it had come. He wasn’t here for Rachel. He was here for Stephanie.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said after a moment, stepping back from the doorway. “Come in.”
Bastian stepped inside, realizing that Rachel was as nervous as he was. He thought it was probably for a different reason, though. Or was she also undressing him with her eyes? His bear stirred as he moved past her, smelling the lust coming off her as he almost touched her. It certainly seemed possible that the way he felt about Rachel wasn’t as one-sided as he had first assumed it was.
“Go on through to the living room,” Rachel said, closing the front door and pointing to a white door leading off the hallway they were standing in.
Bastian smiled and headed through the door. He found himself in a light and airy room that was furnished with two cream sofas and a large TV. A coffee table sat between the sofas and the TV and beside it, Stephanie sat gurgling away in a bouncy chair. Bastian felt the surge of protective love he had felt in the park engulf him again at the sight of the baby.
Rachel followed him into the room and nodded at one of the couches. Bastian sat down and Rachel went to the bouncy chair and scooped Stephanie up. She smiled at her and walked toward Bastian.
“Someone is here to see you,” Rachel said to the baby. “Say hi.”
Stephanie didn’t say anything, but she flashed Bastian a gummy grin that made his heart melt.
“Hi, Stephanie,” Bastian said, his voice barely above a whisper as emotion clogged his throat. “You’re beautiful.” He looked up at Rachel. “May I?”
Rachel nodded and Bastian held up his arms. Rachel bent slightly and deposited Stephanie onto his lap. She sat there, content in his arms. Rachel took a step back.
“Do you want some tea or coffee or anything?” she asked.
Bastian shook his head, transfixed by Stephanie as she pulled on one of the buttons on his shirt and babbled away happily. Rachel smiled and sat down on the other couch.
“She likes you,” Rachel said.
Bastian couldn’t decide from Rachel’s tone whether she was happy about that or not, but he was happy about it and he glanced up at Rachel and smiled.
“The feeling is mutual,” he said.
He turned his focus back to Stephanie. He bounced his leg gently, bouncing Stephanie up and down, and she giggled. She reached up with her chubby little fingers and pulled on Bastian’s chin. He laughed.
“What does she like to do?” Bastian asked.
It hurt him not to automatically know what his daughter liked, but he reasoned it wasn’t his fault—it wasn’t like he had known where to find her and purposely shunned her—and he would get to know all of this stuff.
“Her favorite thing right now is her swing in the back garden. We can go out there if you want to,” Rachel said.
Bastian nodded eagerly. He stood up holding Stephanie and she instantly wriggled to get down. His heart sank, but Rachel smiled at him.
“Don’t be offended. Since she found her feet, she likes to be little miss independent and walk everywhere,” she said.
Bastian nodded and set Stephanie down on her feet. She wobbled a little, found her balance, and toddled off ahead of him, glancing back to make sure he was following her. Bastian smiled when he watched Stephanie’s clumsy walk. The three of them moved through the kitchen and Rachel opened the back door. Stephanie ran straight to the swing Rachel had mentioned and Bastian followed her. Rachel stayed on the step, watching them and smiling. Stephanie reached her arms up to Bastian and while
he knew it was only because she wanted him to lift her into the swing, his heart melted again all the same. He scooped her up and put her into the swing. He stood in front of her and pushed the swing gently, whooping and laughing with her as she swung.
“I’m going to make Stephanie some juice,” Rachel called from the doorway. “Can you watch her for a minute, please?”
“Of course,” Bastian smiled. “It would be my pleasure.”
He kept pushing the swing and smiling down at Stephanie.
“I’m your daddy,” he said to her. “And I’m not going to ever let anyone or anything hurt you. I hope you sense that, but even if you don’t, you’ll see it for yourself as you grow up.”
Bastian didn’t really know what would happen in the future or how any of this would work, but he knew that whatever happened, he would keep that promise he had made to Stephanie.
Rachel came back outside and handed a pink sippy cup to Stephanie. She took it and drank some of the juice. Rachel stayed beside Bastian, almost close enough to him for their arms to be touching. As they stood, both smiling down at Stephanie, Bastian realized something.
The feelings of love and protection he felt weren’t just for Stephanie. They extended to Rachel too. And he vowed to himself in that moment that he would find a way to make this work. He was finally willing to accept what he had spent two years telling himself couldn’t be true—Rachel was meant to be his mate. If she didn’t want anything to do with the pack, then he would leave the pack. It would kill him to walk away from them, but if it meant he got to have a family of his own, then he would do it.
He looked at Rachel and caught her looking at him. She blushed when he caught her eye, but when he smiled at her, she smiled back at him. He reached out for her hand, knowing she might freak out, but needing to touch her, needing to find a way to let her know that she was meant to be his. He took her hand in his and she made no effort to squirm her hand away from his and she didn’t tell him to get off her as he had feared she would. Instead, she gently squeezed his hand and then left her hand in his.
Bastian felt tingles spreading through his hand from where they were touching and up his arm, and he thought Rachel felt it too, judging by the way her cheeks turned pink.
He knew instantly he would protect Rachel with his life every bit as much as he would protect Stephanie with it, and he made a decision in that moment. When he left Rachel’s place today, he was going to drive out to Houston and hunt down Lewis and make him pay for what he had done to Rachel.
While part of Bastian felt like he should be grateful to Lewis for turning Rachel into a bear and making all of this possible, he knew she had suffered greatly over the last ten years, hating herself, fearing her own kind. And that was all because of Lewis. He would make him pay for that, and he would make sure Lewis could never hurt anyone else again.
While Bastian had always made it clear to the pack that they were never to buy a mate from a Matchmaker, he had always accepted that Matchmakers were a part of his world and that it was really none of his business as long as they didn’t interfere with his pack. Now he saw that he had been wrong about that. Matchmakers like Lewis ruined lives, and he was no longer willing to stand back and let that happen in his district. It was time to take control. And if he ended up leaving the pack to be with Rachel, then that would be his parting gift to them—a district free from monsters.
“Are you okay?” Rachel asked, frowning at him. “You seem like you’re a million miles away.”
“I was just thinking about something,” Bastian said. “Something I need to do. Something I should have done years ago.”
“What?” Rachel asked.
“I’ll tell you later,” Bastian said as Stephanie began to fuss in the swing. “Because right now, I think someone needs some fun.”
He lifted Stephanie from the swing and lifted her high in the air. He swooped her down and then back up again until she was laughing once more.
“We should go back inside,” Rachel said after a couple of minutes. “Stephanie is due for her nap soon and there’s a cartoon on around now that I usually let her watch to get her settled.”
“Okay,” Bastian agreed. “Lead the way.”
Rachel turned and walked toward the house. Bastian tried not to look, but he couldn’t help watching Rachel’s hips sway as she walked and the way the dress clung to her hips and her ass. How he longed to reach out and put his hand on one of those hips, to pull her back against his chest, to kiss her neck.
Bastian’s attention was pulled away from Rachel’s hips as Stephanie gurgled beside his ear and tugged on it, making him laugh again.
13
Rachel sat on one couch. Bastian sat on the other with Stephanie on his lap as she watched her cartoon. At first, Stephanie had still been hyped up from her time outside, but as Rachel watched, Bastian had gently sung to her until she was calmed down and sitting contentedly on his lap, watching the cartoon.
At that moment, Rachel had known she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. She wanted Bastian. More than she had ever wanted anyone in her life. And it was about much more than just sex. Watching how gentle and loving he was with Stephanie, Rachel knew he was no monster, and she felt an intense rush of love for him fill her, warming her heart. She wanted this. For them to be a family.
But she knew it couldn’t happen. As much as she had accepted she had been wrong about all bears being monsters, she still didn’t want to join Bastian’s pack. And she certainly didn’t want that life for Stephanie. She wanted her to have a normal childhood, one where she went to school and made friends and did things normal kids did. She wouldn’t stop aging until she was twenty-nine and until then, she could live a normal life. Rachel knew she had to put that before her own feelings.
She also knew how hard it would be, because she couldn’t deprive Stephanie and Bastian of each other. So, assuming he wanted to be a part of Stephanie’s life, which she was almost certain he did, she would have to see him regularly, and it would just about break her to see him all of the time and not be able to kiss him, to hold him, to make love to him.
It’s called being a mother, she told herself. You make sacrifices like this for your kids.
Rachel looked at Bastian and Stephanie, again feeling the rush of love. She told herself it was only for Stephanie, but it was a lie and she knew it. She stood up and moved toward Bastian when she saw Stephanie had fallen asleep. Normally, she would let her sleep on the couch at nap time, but she knew she needed to have a conversation with Bastian about how this would work going forward, and she decided to take Stephanie upstairs to her crib.
“She’s asleep. I’ll take her up to bed,” Rachel whispered when Bastian glanced up at her.
He nodded and she took Stephanie from him, careful not to wake her. She took her upstairs and laid her in her crib, putting a thin blanket over her. She smiled down at her and gently stroked her cheek, and then she switched on the baby monitor and headed back downstairs. She turned on the monitor in the living room and then turned to Bastian.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink? Or I can make some sandwiches or something if you’re hungry,” she suggested.
“I’m fine,” Bastian smiled. “Sit down and relax while you can.”
Rachel sat down on the other end of the couch Bastian was sitting on.
“So,” she said. “What happens now?”
“I guess that’s up to you,” Bastian said. “I want to be a part of Stephanie’s life, Rachel. Please don’t try to stop that from happening.”
“I won’t,” Rachel said. “Seeing you two together… I don’t know. It felt right, I guess. You can be a part of her life, but no talk about bears or packs or any of that stuff. Not until she’s old enough to understand it all.”
“Okay,” Bastian said. “If that’s what you want. Obviously, we’ll set up a trust fund for Stephanie and I’ll pay you a monthly allowance for her too.”
“I don’t want your money,” Rachel s
aid instantly.
“Good,” Bastian smiled. “Because it’s not for you. It’s for Stephanie.”
Rachel smiled and shook her head but Bastian went on.
“Look, Rachel, I don’t think you’re some sort of charity case or anything like that, if that’s what you’re worried about. You have a nice house and it’s obvious Stephanie is well looked after. But I’m her father and it’s my duty to help provide for her.”
“Okay, fine,” Rachel agreed. “But before we go any further, I need you to promise me something. Promise me you’re not going to see Stephanie a few times and have her get attached to you and then get bored of her and never show up again.”
“I promise you that won’t happen,” Bastian said. He reached across the couch and took one of Rachel’s hands in both of his. She felt her senses begin to stir at his touch, her clit starting to pulse. “I want to be as active in Stephanie’s life as you’ll allow me to be. And not just in Stephanie’s life. In yours too.”
“Bastian, don’t,” Rachel said. “This isn’t about us. It’s about Stephanie.”
Even as she said the words, she was moving closer to Bastian, closing the gap between them, and she knew if he kissed her now, she wouldn’t even attempt to stop this from happening.
“I know,” Bastian said, although his tone told Rachel he didn’t really believe that for a second. “Listen, Rachel, there’s something I have to do. Something I should have done a long time ago. Once that’s done, then we can maybe talk about us.”
“There is no us, Bastian,” Rachel sighed. “We’re from two different worlds.”
Bastian didn’t correct her, but he didn’t agree with her either. Instead, he just smiled.
“What is it that you need to do?” Rachel asked. “You made it sound rather ominous.”
“I guess it is. But it’s something I need to do. I hope you understand why,” Bastian said. He stood up. “I have to go to Houston and take care of Lewis. What he did to you, Rachel… what he’s done to hundreds of other women—it’s not right. And it ends now.”