Rogue Ever After (The Rogue Series Book 7)

by Tamsen Parker

  All Hadley had wanted was a night of fun. One goddamn night to indulge in something she never allowed herself. But it wasn’t just about her, and she understood why Archer would refuse to be someone’s secret. The hook-up they only kissed and ground up against in grimy alleys. Yeah, Archer deserved way better than that, and she deserved someone who wasn’t such a fucking coward to give it to her.

  Standing here, the pavement slicked with the mystery liquid that ran from the dumpsters and the air thick with the rotting detritus of this opulent and excessive party and the ones that came before, felt like penance of a sort. It was perhaps overly dramatic of her, but that’s what she got paid excessive amounts of money for, right? Being dramatic? But to feel as though this was what her silence had bought her: rotting fame and fortune. The gains weren’t ill-gotten, precisely—she’d sure as hell done the work—but they were tainted nonetheless.

  She couldn’t stay out here. Mason was probably wondering where she’d gotten to, or perhaps he was certain he knew. He probably did. Whichever, she had no reason to stay out here any longer, not now that Archer had gone. Was likely gone for good.

  And so what? All that would mean was more months, more years of celibacy and of cringing anytime someone said something homophobic, of seeing a compelling woman she’d like to get to know better and instead of talking to her, avoiding her because nothing could come of it so why even try.

  That was depressing as hell.

  She needed a friendly face, some comforting arms. Perhaps she didn’t deserve them, but god it hurt. And she wanted to not hurt quite so badly.

  Lucky for her, the door they’d stumbled out of actually opened and she could sneak back inside, unnoticed. Through darkened hallways filled with event props and extra linens she made her way back to the club floor and searched for Mason. He wasn’t hard to find. Not just because he was six four, although that helped, but there had always felt like there was an invisible thread or something else that connected them no one else could see. His presence had always pinged something inside of her, as though her heart were sending out signals and just aching to have something bounce back. That’s what her friendship with Mason had always felt like; something in her finding something in him and then the both of them hanging onto it for dear life.

  He must feel the same because a moment later, he looked up and zeroed his attention in on her. Though she wanted to break down in tears, Hadley gave him a small, pinched smile instead and that tripped a chain reaction: Mason excusing himself from the circle of people whose attention he’d held, him striding across the room with barely a care for the people who tried to stop him on his way, and then his looming presence in front of her.

  Mason would never hurt a fly. Despite him being cast over and over in action movies where he destroyed things and people with abandon, he was the most mellow person she’d ever known. Except when someone he loved was hurt. Then he looked like he would fuck some shit up. He looked like that now, but she didn’t want to hurt Archer. Not anymore than she already had. That was in fact the last thing she wanted to do. So she offered Mason a small smile. “Want to dance?”

  A beat of hesitation but no more and then he was taking her hand, leading her out onto the crowded dance floor and enveloping her in his arms in a way that would surely land them in the gossip pages the next day. In truth, they tried to avoid starting rumors because there was already speculation that they were a couple. While it might have been prudent to fake a relationship, neither of them wanted tabloid stories about what was “really” going on between them to abound so the usually avoided this kind of contact in public. Well, fine. They would be privy to the truth and that’s what mattered.

  She let herself lean into his muscled chest and was grateful for his arm that wrapped around her. Too for the kiss he dropped on the top of her head right before he murmured, “I’m sorry, Had. So sorry.”

  6

  “Hello?”

  “In here,” Archer mumbled, not bothering to sit up.

  A minute later, Megan’s pig-tailed head poked through the door.

  “Dude, are you seriously in bed? You’re never in bed. I mean, I honestly thought you were some kind of cyborg who could just plug themselves into a socket to recharge.”

  If only that were true. Archer would feel so much better about herself if she didn’t require rest or sustenance. If she didn’t require anything. Alas, she was all too human. And was probably smelling that way since she’d spent all of her non-working hours in bed for the past three days. Almost literally. That meant no showering. She wasn’t proud of it, but she also felt weirdly out of sorts. Had since she left Hadley in that alley.

  Archer gave Megan her best glare, which could be nearly fatal, but Megan seemed unfazed.

  “Are you sick? You can’t still be hung over from the Empyreals. Except you don’t really drink all that much so maybe you are? Or you’re allergic to glamour and hedonism and your histamines are fucking up your shit?”

  Megan plopped down on the side of the nest. “Seriously, are you okay? I’m worried.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Then get up and make me some tacos. I’m hungry.”

  That earned Megan a pillow to the face. Archer didn’t mind cooking, and tacos were delicious. If she truly were okay, she probably would’ve rolled her eyes and headed to the kitchen to get to work. Today?

  “Whoa. Not even the siren song of tacos can get you up? What the hell happened to you?”

  “Hadley Beaumont happened to me.”

  Megan’s eyes got dessert-plate round. “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “She’s sexy as hell—like even more so in person than in pictures or on-screen. She’s funny. She’s kind. And she’s a good kisser.”

  “Holy shit.” Megan’s eyes were now more like dinner plates. “You kissed Hadley Beaumont? The Hadley Beaumont? How has it been three days and you’re just now telling me this?”

  Archer wanted to draw a blanket over her head and not come out, ever. She could live out the rest of her life in her blanketfort, right? That was a thing people did?

  “Yes. I kissed Hadley Beaumont. And then I yelled at her.”

  Megan smacked her shoulder. She supposed she should count herself lucky it hadn’t been her face. “Why would you do that?”

  “Grumpy piece of shit, remember?”

  “Yeah, but… Mostly you’re grumpy in a charming way. Like that curmudgeon who all the girls want to make smile because it makes our hearts skip when you do.”

  Megan reached over and poked at Archer’s dimple that only showed up when she did smile. Archer batted her away.

  “Well, you’re wrong. I’m just a grumpy piece of shit.”

  “What did you yell at her for?”

  “For not being out. She’s got so much power and influence and money, how much could anyone really hurt her? She’s rich and successful, and she told me herself her parents and her best friend are super cool. So I’m pissed at her.”

  “That’s, uh, kind of harsh, don’t you think?”

  Archer didn’t think it was kind of harsh, she knew it was. And yet it didn’t stop her from being angry.

  “I mean, everyone’s got their own reasons, right? Maybe there’s stuff going on for her that you didn’t learn in the…” Megan checked a watch she wasn’t wearing because she was an annoying little gnome. “Six hours you spent with her? Could that be possible?”

  “You and your sense-making. You’re the worst.”

  “Maybe, but you love me anyway.”

  “I do. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for.” It was a rare moment of earnestness between the two of them and therefore couldn’t last long. “But you’re also a bite-sized elf who’s driving me nuts and I need you to shut up right now because I already feel crap enough about this, okay? Can you poke me again in a week and remind me I’m an asshole? Just like, a shit-giving snooze button?”

  “Okay, okay, can do.”

  And then Archer rolled
over and let Megan pet her hair.

  * * *

  Goddamn Archer Kydd had been haunting her dreams for days. Probably the worst part was that she’d put a voice to the words Hadley so often allowed herself to bury. Her mom had flown out from Michigan because she’d asked her pretty please, and there basically wasn’t anything her mom wouldn’t do for her.

  Hadley had told her why she was feeling like shit and her mom had gently prodded about perhaps this being more about her own feelings about not being out, not being able to have a relationship or even sex without worrying about it getting out, and for what? It was annoying that she’d been right. Which was why she’d gotten on the phone with her agent and her publicist and talked through what her coming out might mean. It wasn’t a proposition with zero risk certainly, but compared to the good she might do? She could take it. And she had women to look up to, to learn from, like Ellen and Portia and Jodie and Cynthia and Kate and Lily and Ruby and Rosie and Kristen… She wouldn’t be alone.

  So she’d made her call, and then her people had made some calls and now she was sitting at a table with a bouquet of microphones in front of her, a bunch of photogs and entertainment journalists with cameras snapping and flashing while they sat there with pens and notebooks and smartphones poised. She could do this. She would do this. Mostly for herself, but yeah, for Archer and her kids too.

  “I asked you all here today because I have an announcement to make. One I should have made a long time ago and… Well, I don’t honestly have a great excuse as to why I haven’t. But better late than never, right? So…”

  Hadley looked out at the eager faces and told herself it would be okay. Everyone who was important to her already loved and supported to her. No one else mattered.

  “I kept telling myself that when my career was solid enough, stable enough, when I had enough money and enough clout, when no one in their right mind would dare to say no to me that then I would make an announcement. Then I would make a statement.”

  She drew a deep breath because this was at once a risk that made her stomach lurch, alongside the personal information she was disclosing. And she burned with shame that she hadn’t done it sooner. Archer had been right about everything.

  “But the thing is, privilege is addictive. And so is success. I’m not proud of it, but it was easier to keep silent. To not contradict people when they assumed I liked men. To go along and fit in. At the end of the day, though, coming out might cost me a role or two, but that is outweighed by far by all the queer kids out there being able to see someone like them as a star, as a success, as an advocate. I’ve never been ashamed of being queer and my family has always been cool about it but I’ve also always been aware that not everyone feels that way. And I allowed myself to care far too much about what those people thought. That ends here, today.”

  Hadley drew herself up, gazed into the flashing lights of the cameras, took a breath and made the leap. Even though it may not be possible anymore because of how she’d behaved, she pictured in her mind taking Archer’s hand and jumping off the cliff together. She might have lost Archer, but she could still do the right thing. Maybe it would bring her back and maybe it wouldn’t, but that wasn’t really the point, was it?

  “My name is Hadley Beaumont, and I am queer. To all the LGBTQ and beyond kids out there, I’m sorry I didn’t say this sooner. You deserve better and I promise to be a better advocate on your behalf in the future. But for now, I’m here and I’m saying out loud that I’m one of you and that you are wonderful just the way you are. Anyone who has something different to say can take it up with me.”

  She swallowed hard, feeling at once powerful with all the attention this speech would garner, knowing she would be splashed across the tabloids, the entertainment news websites, and a shit ton of other media outlets, but also exposed and vulnerable. She made a fist with her hand and squeezed, imagining Archer’s fingers twined with her own and gathered strength from that.

  “To put some of my money where my mouth is, I’m announcing a donation of one million dollars to Rivera House, an organization that supports homeless LGBTQ youth. It’s a really incredible place that has amazing, dedicated staff who advocate for policy changes, while they also have homes that support individuals. They do phenomenal and invaluable work and there’s one person in particular who I’d like to thank for her passion and undying efforts to make the world a better place. Archer Kydd is one of the hardest working, smartest people I know. And while she’d make far better use of my platform than I have, it’s mine to use. This is my formal promise that from here on out, I will. Thank you, everyone, for being here. I’ll take questions now.”

  7

  Six hours later, after a battery of questions, her social media blowing up, and her phone ringing off the hook, a soft knock sounded before her mom’s head poked through the cracked open bathroom door. “Hadley, honey, there’s someone here to see you.”

  Hadley closed her eyes, skimmed her fingers over the surface of the water, and sighed. She was tired. So fucking tired. She didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything. “Tell Mason I appreciate it, but I just can’t right now. I’ll talk to him tomorrow, okay?”

  “It’s not Mason.”

  It wasn’t? She could think of a lot of people who had probably texted, called, or posted on her social media, but not anyone else who would come over here. Unless… But no. She couldn’t let her hopes get up. How would Archer even get her address? She couldn’t.

  “Then I think whoever it is can wait. I’m in the bath for goodness sake.”

  Her mother’s lips pursed. “Yes, I know that. And if it were anyone else I would have turned them away and told them you would get back to them. But I think you’ll want to speak with this person. So really my only question is whether you’d like to stay in the tub or whether you’d like to get out.”

  The water was getting a bit chilly but if she got out and drained the tub only to be disappointed and had to fill the whole damn thing back up again, she’d be peeved. Staying in the bath it was, but she’d let out some water and fill it up with only hot. That should do it.

  “I suppose I’ll stay here. You wouldn’t let just anyone into the bathroom while I was in the tub.”

  “I wouldn’t. Although frankly with the amount of bubbles you have in there, it’s more than you’ve worn on screen or on the red carpet.”

  Hadley shrugged because there was no defense against that. Her mother left, closing the door behind her and Hadley took the opportunity to refill the tub, upping the water temperature by a few degrees. Satisfied, she took the opportunity to sculpt her bubbles into a sorry excuse for a fortress. Though with any luck, she wasn’t going to need one.

  * * *

  Archer had known Hadley’s house would be huge. But she hadn’t been quite prepared for the absolute enormity of it. She’d felt ridiculous pulling up the door in her Fiesta. Hell, the door of Hadley’s house—mansion? palace?—or the goddamn artfully placed rocks in her xeriscaped front yard probably cost more than Archer’s bought-used car did. Even when it was new. But no matter. She wasn’t here to critique Hadley’s design choices. She was here to… Eh, she didn’t quite know. But standing in the vestibule with her hands shoved in her pockets, she ought to think of something to say. If Hadley would see her at all.

  While Archer was convinced she was right, she could’ve convinced Hadley of the same in a gentler way. In a way that would’ve cushioned Hadley from any fallout there might’ve been from her announcement. It was, after all, easier for her in some ways. Coming out hadn’t cost Archer anything once she’d gotten out of the foster system—she’d had nothing to lose.

  The woman who looked suspiciously like an older Hadley returned and tipped her head back toward the hallway where she’d come from.

  “This way. I’ll show you.”

  Archer took her hands out of her pockets and had to nearly jog to catch up with the woman.

  “Oh, you should know Hadley’s in the bath and refusing
to come out.”

  It was a good thing the hallway was lined with spindly furniture because Archer nearly tripped over her own damn feet and had to catch herself on one of the fragile-looking things.

  “And she’s okay with me seeing her…” She swallowed hard thinking of Hadley swanning around in hot water, her lithe body visible under the water, hair pulled back so as not to get wet but with tendrils curling around her face from the steam.

  Holy hell, she was going to trip over her tongue, or maybe slip on the drool that was no doubt leaking out of her mouth.

  “I did ask her. And besides, that girl has never has never met a bubble she didn’t like. You’ll be lucky to find her behind all the suds.”

  That did sound like Hadley, surrounding herself with beauty and softness. Although after the presser she’d given this afternoon, Archer wasn’t going to begrudge her that. It had been brave and selfless, and she owed Hadley an apology for not thinking she was capable. Hopefully she’d be able to get one out before Hadley threw something at her.

  When Hadley senior showed her to a door, Archer shut her eyes, took a breath, and then walked in.

  As advertised, Hadley was sitting behind a mountain of bubbles, blue eyes blinking cautiously.

  “Um, hi?”

  That wasn’t fair. Archer was the one who’d showed up in Hadley’s goddamn bathroom essentially unannounced so she pressed on.

  “I’m sorry. You deserved better from me. I was so caught up in my own self-righteousness that I didn’t really listen to you or take the time to try to understand. All I could see was that you have all these resources, this enormous platform and you weren’t using them for what I thought you should. I…”

  Archer shook her head. “It’s not that simple. And I shouldn’t have been so cavalier about it. And hey, who’s to say you’d be in a position to make that big-ass donation to Rivera House if you’d come out earlier? You really are going to, right? That wasn’t just a PR stunt? Because even if I might be falling for you, I will call your ass out for that, you know I will.”