My First My Last My Only

by Denise Carbo

  “Not particularly.” I sigh and roll my eyes when he continues to frown at me.

  “It was a dog, okay?”

  He laughs and leans back against the bench stretching his legs out in front of him.

  “What are you doing here?” And what is with the sunglasses and hoodie? Is he hiding from fans?

  “I needed some fresh air, so I took a walk. I’ve been out at the house all day with the contractors.”

  “Are you hiding from someone?” I point to his get up.

  His mouth quirks up on the side and he removes the sunglasses and hangs them on the collar of his black T-shirt after unzipping the hoodie.

  “I spotted a guy with a camera in town earlier and got a little paranoid he was looking for me. It’s probably just a tourist or something.”

  “Does it happen a lot? People chasing you around for a photograph?”

  “Not so much anymore.” He shrugs. “I’m sure I overreacted. I guess I got in the habit of avoiding paparazzi from before.”

  “Before?”

  “When I was acting and when I was with Margeaux, it was a common occurrence.”

  So, he’s not with his supermodel girlfriend anymore. Is that the reason he moved to Granite Cove?

  I’ve read the headlines of the tabloids while standing in line at the grocery store. And I may have clicked on an entertainment article a time or two when it popped up on my web browser. Not that I will admit any of that to Mitch.

  “I would hate being followed around all the time. How did you stand it?”

  A derisive laugh emanates from him and he runs his fingers through his hair. “Not well, which is probably why I jumped to conclusions. Let’s talk about something more palatable, like when are you going to make those whoopie pies for me?”

  “I already have a batch made ready for tomorrow.”

  He grins and puts his arm back along the bench behind me.

  “I’ll be there bright and early as usual. Save some for me.”

  “Will do.” I stare out at the lake. A woman paddles by on a paddleboard. I always wanted to try one of those, but balance isn’t exactly my forte.

  “That looks like fun, ever try one?”

  “I don’t think I’m equipped with the skills needed.”

  “How hard can it be? Do they rent them next door to the bakery? We should try it.”

  I dart a sideways glance at his profile. He wants to hang out and be buddies again like nothing has changed.

  I gave up on my plan to avoid him, but friends? He was my best friend once.

  Moving forward, right?

  “When it gets a little warmer. I’m not ready for another dip in the lake and I know that will happen when I try to stand on one of those and balance it in the water.”

  He chuckles. “Okay, we’ll wait a couple of weeks. I want to take a drive around the lake sometime too and see what’s changed and what has stayed the same.”

  “It’s been awhile since I’ve driven around the lake. I’ve gone in either direction but not all the way around and I wasn’t sightseeing.”

  “Then that’s something else to add to our list of things to do this summer. How about Mt. Washington? I’ve never been. My parents and I never got around to taking many sightseeing trips.”

  A list? We were making a list of things to do together.

  “I drove up to the top once and I’ll never drive it again. I could probably handle riding as a passenger as long as you don’t mind me covering my eyes half the time.”

  “That bad?”

  “I don’t care for heights and I care even less about trying to stay on a narrow road with cars coming at you and a sheer drop out the window. The view from the top is killer though. You can see for miles in every direction if the wind doesn’t knock you down.”

  Mitch laughs. “Where’s your adventurous spirit? You used to be the first to suggest something daring, like climbing a tree or exploring an old barn.”

  He’s right. I wasn’t so afraid back then, not when we were together, anyway. Was it age and experience that taught me to be cautious? Or is it fear preventing me from taking chances and enjoying the process?

  “I don’t know. Maybe I was waiting for you to come back and explore with me.”

  Ugh, I did not just say that out loud.

  My hands are sandwiched between my legs and the bench. I’m cringing inside and looking everywhere but in his direction.

  “I think I’ve been waiting too.”

  “You’ve been all over the world making movies.”

  “Not necessarily waiting to explore, but something was missing.”

  Deep brown locks of hair flutter against his forehead and my fingers itch to comb it back. Is he saying he was missing me? Am I reading too much into his words?

  He smiles. “I’m keeping Mt. Washington on our list. We will find your adventurous spirit again.”

  “Okay, deal. We should also add a trip to Portsmouth while we are it.”

  “I agree, I’ve been meaning to check it out. What else should we put on the list?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m drawing the line at climbing trees just so you understand. Those days are in the past. I can’t afford any broken bones.”

  “Duly noted. How about hiking?”

  “I can do hiking.”

  “Renting a couple of quads to go exploring with?”

  “Four solid wheels not requiring me to balance? Yeah, I’ll try that too.”

  Mitch laughs. “It’ll be safe, I promise.”

  “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?”

  Mitch crosses his legs at the ankles. His fingers behind me fiddle with my hair. “Probably scuba diving in Australia with sharks.”

  I gape at him. “Why on earth would you do that?”

  “That was pretty much my mother’s reaction too.” He shrugs one shoulder. “It didn’t scare me. The scariest thing I’ve ever done was to stop accepting acting gigs and get someone to give me a shot at directing.”

  “You didn’t think anyone would give you a chance?”

  “I had to prove myself first. I directed a few television episodes in exchange for a cameo and then moved onto bigger projects from there. What about you? What’s the scariest thing you ever did?”

  “Nothing I’ve ever done compares to swimming with sharks, but the scariest for me was telling my parents I was dropping out of college to go to culinary school.”

  “How did they take it?”

  A rough laugh escapes me. “Not well.”

  “But you still did it.”

  “I didn’t see it as a choice. It was something I needed to do.”

  “Having sampled your genius, I would have to agree.” Mitch stands and stretches. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “It’s getting dark. The sun is going down.”

  “There’s still a while before it gets dark. I live in the opposite direction of you and I make the walk almost every day.”

  “Which doesn’t comfort me. It means someone could learn your routine. Don’t you watch the news?”

  I stand and shake my head. “No, I don’t. It’s too depressing. Besides, this is Granite Cove, not Los Angeles.”

  “Bad things can happen in small towns too. You shouldn’t walk alone after dark at the very least.”

  We stroll along next to each other on the path. There’s still at least an hour until dark, plenty of time for me to get home safe and sound, but I’m not going to argue anymore if he wants to walk me home. It means I can linger a little longer in his company.

  “Your parents must have come around about culinary school especially after you opened the bakery.”

  Not so much.

  “It’s not what they wanted for me. My mother envisioned something a little more glamorous, I think.”

  “Doing what you love is the key to happiness.”

  We reach the end of the park and turn down the sidewalk of the
residential section. Familiar colonials and a few capes line the street all with manicured lawns. American flags wave from poles and porches.

  Has the bakery led to my happiness? It’s the only thing that has brought me any joy lately. I’ve closed myself off from everything else and instead of hiding in the girl’s bathroom, I’m now hiding in my bakery.

  “You’ve gotten quiet.”

  “Sorry, my mind was wandering.”

  “Anything you want to share?”

  “No.” I’m not ready to confess something that personal yet.

  “Okay, fair enough, how about telling me who the woman with the binoculars in the window of that widow’s walk up there is?”

  Chuckling, I peek up at the white house we are approaching. Sure enough there is a pair of binoculars trained in our direction.

  “That would be Mrs. Summers. She likes to sit up there and watch everyone. Don’t worry, she’s harmless. She doesn’t go out much. I think she’s agoraphobic.”

  “Okay, does she live in that big house alone? Is there someone to look out for her?”

  “She has a husband, a retired doctor. He plays golf with my father. They have grown kids I believe, but I’ve never met them.”

  I wave to her as we pass by and she waves back. She’ll go on her porch, but I’ve never seen her in town. I’ve stopped and chatted with her a few times over the years when she sat in the rocker on her covered porch.

  “Do you know everyone in town? I mean I guess that’s part of the charm of a small town, right? Knowing your neighbors?”

  “I don’t know everyone. Granite Cove isn’t that small, but I’ve lived here all my life so there are a lot of familiar faces. It can be comforting or unsettling depending on how you look at it. Many of them have known me since I was a kid so they know my life story, good and bad.”

  “What’s bad? Tell me your deep dark secrets.”

  I stop at my parents’ driveway.

  “We’re here. You’ll have to wait to learn my secrets.”

  A smirk appears on his handsome face. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

  Temptation tightens my skin. What secrets does he have to share?

  Rubbing my upper arms, I glance at a crack in the pavement. I’m not ready to share any of my secrets with him. I doubt we will ever share that level of trust again.

  “Goodnight Franny, we can save the secrets for another time.”

  “’Night.”

  He waits until I go in the house before turning and walking back the way we came.

  I watch him from the living room window until he disappears out of sight. My fingers rest against the windowpane. My breath leaves a little circle of condensation.

  I draw a heart and smile.

  Silly, something a teenager would do.

  I wipe the heart away.

  I’m not a teenager anymore.

  Chapter Ten

  Mitch stands just outside the bakery, surrounded by a group of women. His schedule is now known, as well as his temporary living arrangements above the bakery, and he is often mobbed before and after his morning run. Business has picked up for me as a result, so I can hardly complain.

  The whoopie pies I made for him earlier this week were such a hit I added them to the daily menu. I’m sure some are buying them because Mitch always does, but a sale is still a sale no matter the reason. I’m experimenting with variations, red velvet with a cream cheese filling, peanut butter mousse sandwiched between the chocolate cakes, and a vanilla espresso cake with mocha frosting in the middle.

  “Let me offer you a little friendly advice, Fanny.”

  How had I not noticed Vanessa’s arrival? She leans toward me over the counter. I am still standing by the coffee station after helping a customer. Sally is busy helping another customer. A waft of flowery perfume tickles my nose as a smirk tilts the edges of Vanessa’s glossy red lips.

  “You’re embarrassing yourself by mooning over Mitch Atwater. He is way out of your league.” Her gaze rakes me from top to bottom. “You’re not even on the same planet as him.”

  Mooning? Was I mooning? Okay, yes, I was momentarily gazing out my store window at him and the women surrounding him, but I wouldn’t call that mooning.

  Vanessa fluffs her black hair over her shoulder and places a hand on her flat abdomen. The royal blue silky blouse she is wearing is unbuttoned to reveal a great deal of cleavage.

  Experience has taught me it is better not to engage her at all, so I simply gaze back at her while valiantly trying to wash all emotion from my face. If she scents weakness, she will move in for the kill, like a wolf circling its prey. Her comments have already drawn enough blood, I don’t want to give her ammunition to draw more.

  “Is there anything I can help you with Vanessa? Coffee? Muffin?”

  “No, I don’t drink caffeine or eat sweets. They’re not healthy. I prefer to keep my body in tip top shape.” Her gaze drops to scan my body, lingering on my hips.

  Well then what the hell are you doing in my bakery? Oh yes, you’re here to insult me. Haven’t had my dose in a while, she’s been slacking I guess and felt the need to rectify it.

  Real subtle, Vanessa. I suppose I should be thankful she has shortened her nickname for me from Fatty Fanny to just Fanny, but I’m not. I’m guessing the only reason is it would reflect badly on her if she used the childish moniker.

  Biting my tongue at the reply I’d rather give, I remind myself I am a business owner and I mustn’t insult the customers. Or throw a pie in her face.

  The front door opens, and my gaze darts up desperately hoping for a reprieve from Vanessa. Mitch walks in smiling.

  “You should learn to be less obvious with your interest.” Apparently, she’s not done with her insults this morning.

  “Interest in what?”

  I see the entrance to the kitchen in my peripheral vision. What would happen if I turned and ran? Mitch heard her comment. She might tell him she caught me mooning over him. I remain in place and fantasize about gagging her with the towel I’m twisting in my hands.

  “Oh Mitch, hello, I didn’t see you there.”

  She bats her false eyelashes at him and giving him what she must think is a coy smile, but it resembles a shark moving in for the kill.

  “I was just trying to give Fanny here some friendly advice on a certain crush she has on someone.”

  Please someone save me! A small emergency or natural disaster would be welcome right about now.

  Mitch’s gaze snags mine and I give him a weak smile. I can’t tell what he is thinking behind those blue eyes, but the smile he came in with disappeared. He glances down at Vanessa.

  “I’m sure Franny does just fine without your advice.” His emphasis on my name makes it clear he picked up on her misuse of my name and he doesn’t approve.

  My white knight.

  “Oh, this is a small town and we like to help each other out here. Isn’t that right?” Vanessa scrutinizes me and I glare right back. Was she seriously expecting me to bail her out?

  Knowing she could still do more damage and embarrass me further, I force a tight smile to my lips. “Small towns have a way of doing that.” That is the extent of my help.

  She titters and places her hand on Mitch’s shoulder. Her red fingernails stand out starkly against his white T-shirt.

  “Mitch, I’d love to show you around our little town to welcome you to Granite Cove.”

  Say no, please say no. The thought of Mitch and Vanessa spending time together in any way makes me ill.

  “Thanks, but I’ve been here before.” He steps to the side and angles his body away from her so that her hand drops from his shoulder.

  Vanessa props her hand on her hip. Her smile falters, but she tosses her hair and keeps the smile plastered on her face. “Oh, well then, if you change your mind, I own the real estate office just up the street.”

  Mitch nods and Vanessa sashays out the door. That very well may have been the first time Vanessa has ever b
een rejected before. At least it is the first one I have ever witnessed. And yes, I am petty enough to appreciate it and oh so thankful I would not have to endure watching Mitch and Vanessa together.

  “I’m guessing she’s not a friend of yours?”

  Snorting rather indelicately, I clap a hand to my mouth and then drop it. “No, more like mortal enemy from the first day of school.”

  Mitch folds his arms along the top of the case and leans closer. “So, who’s the guy you’re interested in?”

  The breath stutters in my chest and visions of me turning blue while I panic trying to come up with an answer that won’t humiliate me flash through my mind. Honesty is out of the question.

  I can’t tell him Vanessa was referring to him. Even though she was way off base. I am not crushing on Mitch. Just because I may admire the way he looks doesn’t mean my heart is involved.

  I will never make that mistake again.

  I need a name and fast.

  A familiar truck drives by the window.

  “Bobby Calvert.” I whisper the name and glance over at Sally and the customer she is chatting with to make sure no one overheard. Everyone in town knows Bobby Calvert. He grew up in town, the same as me, and owns a landscaping business. I should have chosen someone more obscure, or better yet, had the sense to make someone up.

  Mitch straightens and folds his arms over his chest. “Tell me about him.”

  Oh dear Lord, this is why I don’t lie. It just gets deeper and deeper.

  “Franny I’ll be back in a minute. Meredith just bought a bunch of plants. She’s going to show them to me in her car.” Sally walks around the counter, removing her apron and folding it as she goes. She drops it on top of the counter while she and Meredith stroll outside, leaving me alone with Mitch.

  There goes my excuse not to elaborate. I suppose I should be thankful there won’t be any witnesses to my downfall. Whether it is a downfall for the sin of lying or because I am about to humiliate myself, I’m not quite sure. Probably both in my case.

  The door closes behind them and I peek back at Mitch, he’s still staring at me expectantly.

  “What do you want to know?” And why? Why does he care who I have an interest in any way?

  “Who is he? What does he do? Does he live here in town?”