Aaron the Alien and the Cwissmussywussyfussjeerydeer Part 1

by Jon (Jon-Jon) Jones

minutes they were cruising deep into outer space.

  They travelled at the usual silly super star speed extravaganza and within an hour a white covered planet came in to view.

  ‘Is this the Christmas planet Aaron?’

  ‘Sure, want a closer look?’

  Timmy answered Aaron silently with an incredulous stare. They flew down and landed on the surface as soon, as they were out of the ship Aaron put it away. Timmy looked at his surroundings it was covered in what seemed to be like a snow like substance, he put his hands in it – it was warm.

  ‘Aaron the snow is warm.’

  ‘Well I said it was kind of like snow didn’t I?’

  ‘Yes you did, it’s not cold either.’ said Timmy casually unzipping his coat. ‘No way, have you seen this? Look over there it’s snowing in one place.’

  Aaron looked over to where Timmy was pointing, there was huge snowflakes falling out of the sky but only in one place. They ran through the deep snow.

  Reaching the snow shaft they ran inside. Aaron jumped up and headed one of the huge snowflakes as if it were a football shouting ‘Goal!’ while he did so. Timmy tried to do the same but missed. Aaron chuckled and headed another one, the shaft of snow started moving away, chasing it Aaron and Timmy started trying to bat the huge balls of snow into each other’s faces.

  A strange noise suddenly ripped through the sky, it sounded like a cross between a cockerel, a cat, a cow and a monkey.

  ‘What was that?’ asked Timmy. As he did up his coat realising the inside was filling up with snow, he also realised it wasn’t wet.

  ‘It’s nothing.’ replied Aaron batting a really large one at Timmy who only just ducked in time.

  The sky was white and light grey, in the distance he thought he could see something gigantic moving through it.

  ‘Aaron if I didn’t know better I would say ...’

  ‘Say what?’ answered Aaron finally paying attention, looking at Timmy with snow between his humps giving him the appearance of a green and white quarterback.

  A huge shadow was cast over them as a bird the size of jumbo jet came gliding through the sky, the snow suddenly stopped, looking up Timmy saw where the snow was coming from.’

  ‘Aaron can you tell me why we have just been playing in bird poo, no better yet can you tell me why you bought me to a planet covered in bird poo.’ Timmy said shouting the last sentence. Aaron dropped the huge snowball he was holding with comic timing.

  The bird was huge, it had six giant feathered wings, three on each side of its body with two large feathered fins on its back and a huge curvy bill that made it look like it was smiling. It had giant webbed feet with a snake like creature in the end of its toes, it was white all over with orange feet and an orange head.

  ‘That is the weirdest looking goose I have ever seen.’

  ‘Timmy, I’m not sure but that one looks like its heading straight for us.’

  ‘What do they eat?’

  ‘Don’t know.’

  ‘So what your saying is that we could well be on the menu.’

  ‘Yeah I suppose I am.’ Aaron said turning and looking at Timmy. ‘The same as usual?’

  ‘Yeah, why not.’ replied Timmy. ‘Run.’

  They started running, it was easier than running in snow on earth but they were still slowed up by it.

  ‘Of all the things I thought I would be doing today running away from a dinosaur sized piece of poultry was not one of them.’ said Timmy. The bird got closer, ‘I don’t think we can outrun it, its gaining on us and fast. Aaron run ahead you can go quicker than me.’

  ‘Never Timmy, it’s all for one and all for three hundred and fifty.’

  ‘Aaron we’re about to die, don’t make me laugh.’ said Timmy running and trying to laugh at the same time. ‘It’s all for one, I’ve told you that before.’

  Timmy stopped laughing as he looked behind him and saw the giant goose right behind them.

  ‘Aaron.’ shouted Timmy as his legs were taken away from him, he tumbled and fell backwards into the birds mouth. Timmy sat up on the moist surface with wind blasting his face, their was a peculiar smell, similar to mouldy bread.

  ‘You alright Aaron?’

  ‘Yeah I am, are you?’

  ‘So what was the point in that then?’

  ‘I don’t know maybe, some invisible teeth are going to come down and skewer us in half.’

  ‘Thanks Aaron.’ said Timmy glibly.

  ‘Timmy?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Who is that?’ said Aaron flicking his eyes behind Timmy.

  Timmy was startled to see someone else sitting behind them inside the birds bill. He looked like he had dirty white, scaly, reptile skin. Its head looked like three white balls sitting on top of each other, they got smaller as they went up.

  ‘Aaron why are we sharing a goose’s mouth with someone who looks like Godzilla has just lost a fight with a snow man?’

  ‘I don’t know Timmy,’ they both looked at him again, he was sitting down but was evidently a lot taller than them. He was holding a spear or walking stick that looked like it was carved out of diamond. The creature turned and looked at them.

  ‘This is the number 17 isn’t it?’

  ‘What?’ remarked Timmy in utter surprise. ‘It’s just that I’m always catching the wrong bird.’

  ‘Sorry we have no idea.’

  ‘Oh that’s a shame.’ He said standing up and poking the roof of the bird’s mouth violently.

  ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ ventured Timmy.

  ‘Nonsense I want to know where this stupid bird is going.’ His voice was gruff, he sounded cantankerous, again he violently slammed his stick into the roof of the birds mouth.

  Timmy and Aaron heard that strange noise that they had heard earlier but as it was being emitted from the very bird that they were in, it almost deafened them. Suddenly their lungs were filled with fresh air, the smell of mouldy bread had gone, the bird had spat them out.’

  Falling through the air, Timmy’s cheeks were flapping like a dog with its head stuck out of a car window.

  ‘Why is it every time I go somewhere with you I end up fighting for my life.’

  ‘I have no idea.’

  ‘Not you, I meant Aaron’

  ‘Oh.’ shouted their bizarre new friend who was falling as if he was enjoying it.

  ‘Sorry Timmy, I’m a little preoccupied right now.’

  ‘Oh what with?’ chimed in the creature much to Timmy’s chagrin.

  ‘Nothing much - just the field of jagged ice spikes that we’re all about to be impaled upon.’

  ‘Aaron what are we going to do?’

  ‘I don’t know Timmy; I think our duck has ran out.’

  ‘It’s luck Aaron, luck not duck ... wait a minute ... that’s it, we can call one of the geese, hey mister how do we call a goose?’

  ‘We haven’t got time.’ came the sullen reply.

  Timmy looked down and saw the spikes coming toward his face at a thousand miles an hour.

  ‘Aaron we have to think of something.’

  ‘I’m trying Timmy, Timmy I’m sorry I never thought we would actually die on one of our adventures.’

  ‘That’s alright Aaron, it’s just that I don’t want to dieeeeee ...’

  ‘I could change the ice to water if you like?’ said the grumpy voice.

  ‘You what?’ Timmy and Aaron shouted in unison.

  ‘It is just an offer.’ came the gruff reply.

  ‘Yes please.’ Aaron and Timmy shouted.

  The creature said nothing, suddenly all the icicles melted into water which rose to meet them. They were genteelly lowered down. As soon as they landed the water turned back to ice. The strange thing was never once did Timmy feel cold or wet, he leaned down and touched the ice, he was amazed to feel that it was warm, really warm.

  Aaron and Timmy were ordered to follow the creature with such authority that they did not dare argue. It lead them across the field, up a
stair case of ice into a cave carved out of an ice cliff. It was not that deep and obviously served as home.

  They sat down, Timmy felt very warm, then hot, he was soon sweating. The creature saw him wiping his forehead.

  ‘I will start a fire to cool us down.’

  ‘A fire to cool us down, how can that be - fire is hot?’

  Aaron and Timmy looked at each other as their new companion ignoring the remark picked up two weird looking gems and smashed them together, a flame leapt out and onto what must be a fire pit. Timmy had thought it was for rubbish. A huge neon electric blue fire started roaring, Timmy could feel it giving off a cool breeze. He put his hands nearer, the closer he got the colder it was until it literally burnt him. He yanked his hand back with a yelp.

  The creature sat around the pit with them and suddenly pulled his head off.

  It took Aaron and Timmy a few seconds to realise that it was some sort of mask, then he stood up and its white scaly skin fell to the floor, there in front of them was a man like figure who looked like he was made out of uncut diamond.

  ‘Whoa, are you made of ice?’ said Aaron.

  ‘That is some party trick.’ said Timmy noting Aaron was unusually impressed.

  ‘Kind of, what I’m made of doesn’t matter, tell me what brings you here, do you come for trouble, to start a war, open up a franchise – what?’

  Timmy moved neared the fire as he was starting to feel hot again. ‘Just came to see it.’

  ‘Yes, we only came to explore a little, not interfere we shall soon be on our way again.’ Aaron added sounding really sophisticated.

  ‘Well?’

  ‘Well what?’ Timmy questioned getting irked with the creatures tone.

  ‘Well, what do you think of the place?’

  ‘It’s cool.’ said Aaron.

  ‘Good, one Aaron’ replied Timmy with a smile.

  Aaron