"Absolutely not. I don't know why you think you can just walk in here and demand things of me, Ward, but it's not happening."
There was obvious frustration on Ward's face, but I could see that he was obviously trying to rein it in. One of us had to be rational, I guess, and for once in my life, it wasn't going to be me.
"Leah," he started, his voice restrained. "You and I need to have a talk, and I don't want to do it here where we might be interrupted by your sister or Camilla. So please, come take a ride with me?"
As much as I wanted to continue fighting with him and refuse to go, his change in tone managed to calm me a little. I really wanted to tell him to fuck off...but I couldn't. As I watched his expression soften, the fight in me slowly faded.
Damn him.
Huffing, trying to remain defiant, I crossed my arms. "Where are we going?"
There was a twitch of his lips, which I caught and instantly felt a flare of heat within me. "You'll see. Put some jeans on. Please," adding the last part when he saw my narrowed eyes.
Sighing dramatically, I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Hold on."
I took my time changing out of my leggings and into a pair of ripped jeans, leaving my tank top on but grabbing my leather jacket. In the bathroom, I freshened myself up a little, fixing my makeup after spending a while crying. If Ward really wanted to talk, he would wait for me to be ready.
And he was, standing by the front door, keys in hand, just watching me as I put my boots on. "Ready?" he said as I grabbed my phone and keys to stuff into my pockets. I nodded, and he led the way outside.
It had been a long while since I had been on the back of a bike. Occasionally I would ride bitch on the back of Lana's, but I mostly opted to drive. Not that I didn't like riding - I've loved it since the first time Crow took me on the back of his - I just preferred my car.
I realize once I'm behind Ward, helmet on and my arms wrapped around his waist, that it was really because, if I was gonna be riding with anyone, it's Ward I wanted to be saddled up to. The feel of his body, even through his leather cut, was welcoming against my own, and before I know it I was resting the side of my head against his back, fingers curled into the fabric of his t-shirt, my eyes closed as I let the feel of the wind wrapped around me like a comforting blanket.
This was nice, I decided. And if it was Ward's intention to get me to relax by this ride, then he succeeded.
I figured out where he was taking me before we got there. Crow and Mary used to take us to Glass Beach whenever they could, even before our parents died. Our mom would have taken us but she was always working. The one time she was able to tag along with us was one of the best memories that I clung to when things got rough. I came here a lot when I needed to think, and I had a sneaking suspicion that was the reason that Ward brought me here.
He parked the bike as close as he could get before removing his helmet and climbing off it. Once my helmet was off, he held out his hand for me and helped me down. The two of us walked silently, side by side towards the beach; it wasn't an awkward silence, surprisingly, but an oddly comfort one. I knew that Ward wanted to talk - clearly, he said as much. And I knew now what he wanted to talk about but after the ride, after being that close to him, I feel somewhat at peace with it. And I really can't argue his logic, we did need to have some sort of conversation.
"I come out here a lot when I need to clear my head," Ward finally said as we found seats on some rocks not far from the water.
"So do I."
A small smile spread across his lips as he looked over at me. "I know."
Both of my eyebrows raised at him. "You do? What do you, stalk me?"
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Sometimes I keep tabs," he offered with a shrug like it was the most normal thing in the world to tell a girl that you watched where she went. "I keep an eye on everyone I care about. You know that."
My stomach did a little somersault, but I forced it to stop as I pursed my lips and looked out towards the ocean. "Yeah, but I didn't realize that meant watching my every move."
Ward shook his head. "I don't watch your every move. Despite what you like to think, I pay attention. I know when you're going through something, and after I saw you here one day when I took a ride out, I figured this was your spot. Same as mine. So, if I can, and I figure you're here, I come out to check to make sure you're okay."
He was killing me. Absolutely killing me. I both hate him and love him, and that fact pissed me off in that moment.
I bury my hands in my hair, resting my elbows on my knees as I leaned over, groaning. "You can't say shit like that to me, Ward."
He was silent for a few moments, and then, "I know. But I need to."
Turning my head, I looked at him sideways. "Why would you need to?"
"Because I need you to understand how much I care about you, Leah. I don't think you get it."
"That's the thing," I said, sitting up quickly, a sudden fire lit inside me, "I know you do. I know that I mean something to you and you want to keep me safe."
It was his turn to raise his eyebrows at me. "Then why do you constantly fight me and make it out like I don’t?"
I laugh sharply, humorless. "Because you try and disguise it as some bullshit protective big brother crap, but I know for a fact that it's something more than that. You've told me yourself, and I know you feel it. I mean, you can't really just want to protect me like family if you’ve slept with me before."
"Yeah, but that was a mistake."
A flash of rage shot through my body, enough to make me nearly jump off my makeshift seat. "Are you fucking kidding me? Sleeping with me more than once was a mistake?!"
Ward cursed loudly, his hand dragging down his face. "No! Shit, Leah, that's not what I meant."
"That's literally the words that came--"
"Leah! Just fucking listen to me, for god's sake!"
I cross my arms against my chest and glare angrily at him, fuming where I stood.
"I meant- Fuck. Being with you isn't a mistake. It never should be. But allowing myself to let something go on when I know how you feel...how we both feel, when I know that nothing further can happen between us. That was the mistake. Making you promises I can’t keep. You deserve better than that."
I was so, so sick of this stupid excuse he always feeds me, and I tell him as much. "Oh, blow me, Ward.” It comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. I normally don’t talk like this – that’s more Lana – but he had me so worked up that I was channeling her. “That is such garbage and you know it. You've admitted how you feel about me, so what's stopping you? If I deserve so much better, why do you keep coming back? Either cut me off, or give into what we both want."
"You know I can't."
"No I fucking don't!" I stood up, throwing my hands out towards him. "I know you think you can't, but it doesn't make any sense. Because, what, you're the President of the Aces and the club comes first? You think you can't give me what I want because that's your top priority?"
I watched as Ward's face fell, his brows furrowing in genuine confusion. "What the hell, Leah? That's actually what you think? That I refuse to put someone, specifically you, before the club?"
"Isn't that it?!"
"No!" He stood, stepping over towards me. "Jesus Christ, Leah, no. I just can't put you in danger. You know what we do -- most of what we do. You don't even have any clue about the sort of people we deal with. And if someone on the other side decides they want to get back at me by taking out someone that means everything to me? I'm not willing to put you in that position. It would kill me."
Half of me wanted to crumble right there, my heart pounding in my chest as his words washed over me, but the other half was still rebellious, challenging him. "You're well aware that I already have a target on my back because of my father’s careless involvement with a gang, aren't you? I'm already at risk just from that, and from being close to you and your dad. Anyone smart enough to put in the work to figure out how close I am to the club could use me for anything even
if we aren’t together. Do you think I give a shit about that?"
"You should!” he shouted. “I give a shit!"
"And that's great! But anything can happen, Ward. At any time. I can be randomly shot while at the grocery store. One of the lights can fall on me at work. I can just go to sleep and not wake up. If you expect me not to live my life because something terrible might happen, then you're insane." I can feel the emotion welling up inside of me but I keep going against my better judgment. "I was supposed to die that night, Ward. We all know it. They were coming after all of us, but I survived. I've made the most of the life I've been given since, but there's still something missing and that's all on you."
Bewilderment appeared on his beautiful, angular face, but I don't stop. "You know how bad I want you, Ward," I choked out, my voice wavering as tears stung the back of my eyes. "I want to be with you, and I know you want the same thing. But you say you care about me, that you want to protect me, but it's you that's hurting--"
My words are cut off when Ward grabbed my face and crushed his lips to mine. Immediately I melted into him, my hands grabbing his cut and pulling myself close as I kiss him back. There is nothing gentle about this kiss. Filled with urgency, desperation to feel and taste each other, the need to make up for lost time. Our mouths moved together like they were made for one another, Ward's hands tangling in my hair. We forgot where we were. Forgot what was going on in our world at that moment. At that moment it was just him and I, finally giving in to what we both needed.
At least I hoped this was him giving in. I couldn't back away from this, not now. I needed him to know that I could handle being his, that I could stand beside him and take whatever was thrown my way. I had already been through so much, and I wasn't lying when I told him that I was missing something in my life. Him. He was my something. Hell, he could be my everything.
"Take me home," I whispered breathlessly, my face still hovering an inch from his. I could feel Ward's heart pounding as hard as mine was, I could hear how labored his breathing was due to our kiss. I knew he wanted it, but he was hesitating. "Please, Ward," I begged him, opening my eyes to look up into his. What I found there was the very same heat and need that I was feeling, and it sent a shiver down my spine.
"Okay," he finally got out, taking a step back, grabbing my hand to yank me back towards his bike.
A surge of excitement and anxiousness filled me as I hurried after him. This ride was going to be the longest one I'd ever been on.
CHAPTER 12
WARD
WE MADE IT BACK to my place in record time, though I'm not proud of how fast I allowed myself to drive with Leah on the back of my bike. It was nearly impossible not to push the speed limit with everything I wanted to do to her on my mind. And she certainly didn't help. The little minx kept running her hands underneath my shirt, her cold fingers brushing against my abdomen, nearly dancing a little too far across the line of my belt to my crotch. There were a few times I had to shift slightly to keep from things getting too uncomfortable for me as I rode.
I just couldn't help myself. I have to have her, and now there was no holding back. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I wanted her, she wanted me, and at the end of the day, she had made a perfect point. What was the use in living a life without everything we wanted or needed? Why let the fear of something terrible happening keep you away from something this good if it may never happen in the first place?
Surprisingly, I found Leah nibbling at her lower lip and eyeing me as she shrugged off her leather jacket. My eyes never left her as she removed her boots, sliding them against a chair and laying the jacket on top. She was beautiful, no matter what she was doing, what she was wearing. There was something innocent about her still, despite the fact that she was covered in ink and had wild, deep red hair, and the fact that I knew very differently first hand. And that was what was so sexy about her.
One of the many things.
"You shy all of a sudden?" I teased lightly, kicking off my boots before walking towards her.
Light color crept along her cheeks, causing me to reach out and brush the pad of my thumb along her right cheekbone. "No.." she said, but she trailed off.
"Good. You shouldn't be. Not with me." Licking my lips, my gaze bore down into hers, my other hand lifting to capture her chin. "You sure about this, Leah? Completely sure that this is what you want? All of it?"
Without hesitation she nodded, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Say it. I need the words," I commanded, though my voice was still light.
"I'm sure that I want this, Ward. That I want you."
With one step I close the gap between us, my lips now hovering inches from hers. "Then we're doing this my way, baby. You've gotten a taste, but you don't know the half of it." All these years I’d held myself back from Leah, even during the times that I had given in and taken her for a night. As I’ve gotten older, there was this need that had grown inside me, something that had developed from my need to take control of things in my life. As I took on more, as I learned more about myself as a leader on the outside, I realized what needs I had inside. Specifically, sexually. And while some of that had come out before with her, Leah didn't exactly know what she was getting in to.
In a way, by keeping myself away from her I had been protecting her from myself. But that changed now, and the only reason I was letting it change was that I knew, of all women, Leah could handle it.
And she confirmed it for me when I saw the flash of not fear but desire in her eyes. Her little tongue darted out and ran along her lower lip and I felt that heat clench inside me. There was no turning back now.
"Fuck, Leah. You really have no clue how badly I want you. Every single part of you. And how long I've wanted it."
A little whimper left her throat at my words, and with her eyes half-lidded and the sexiest look on her face, Leah took a little bit of the control back from me. "I do know. I want you, Ward," she muttered in a low, husky voice as her fist curled into the fabric of my shirt, "more than I've wanted anything in my life. I need you, and I need you right now."
I groaned. Deep, guttural, primal. My hands moved down her back to her hips as I shoved her forcefully against my body. Without another word I picked her up, urging her to wrap her legs around my waist as I ravaged her mouth, walking blindly to where I knew my bedroom was. Leah still had a little bit of the control from her position, which was fine with me. For now. That wasn't going to last, not once I had her where I wanted her.
As we devoured each other's mouths, lips and tongue and teeth working to cause every nerve in our bodies to light up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, I made it blindly to the bed without issue. Once my shins hit the edge I lowered her down, pressing her back into my mattress, my hips spreading her legs wider as I leaned over her, my mouth never displacing itself from where it belonged.
With my hands now free to roam I wasted no time in pushing her shirt up to just under her bra, skin brushing against bare skin as I grazed along her flat, narrow stomach, hardened from all of her dancing and work in the gym. Her entire body was like that. Hardened in some areas, toned and muscular from years of discipline and hard work, but soft where it counted. To me, at least. Her curves were enough to start fucking wars over. Her thick, toned thighs, those curved hips, and that ass...I couldn't get enough.
Why the fuck had I fought so goddamn hard to not make her mine?
God, it wasn't even just her body that I loved. I could find a hot body almost anywhere. I'd had plenty before, not that I was proud of that fact, but it just came with the territory. Not a single one of them compared to Leah. I should have known back then that I was a goner for this woman.
Prying myself away from her I stood up, reaching back to grab a handful of my shirt so I could pull it over my head. Leah was watching, her eyes dark narrowed as she took me in; I saw her gaze sweep across my chest, stomach, shoulders, and arms.
Once the shirt was tossed I walked back to the doorway, flicking
on the lights. "I need to see all of you," I explained, walking back over to the bed. My hands went to the waistband of her jeans then as I began to undo them, urging her to lift up off of the bed so I could pull them down her long legs. They were like a second skin, as was most of the things she wore, and it turned me on even to peel the garment off of her.
I swallowed hard as I took in the panties she was wearing, and it made me smirk. Slowly my hands slid up her now bare legs, and I teased her by hooking my fingers into the top of her underwear, playfully tugging at the black lace. "I really hope you're wearing a matching bra..." Wasting no time, I removed my hands and tugged her tank top over her head, my grin spreading wide across my face. "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"
Leah's eyes sparkled with mischief as she giggled softly. "Actually, no. I didn't exactly expect you to barge into my house and demand we talk things over today, did I?"
She was right. Still, now that I've allowed myself to think about it, it was a little fun to imagine her wearing matching sets of sexy underwear on the off chance that I may get to see it.
"It's still fucking sexy," I say as my hands travel up her stomach to her breasts, cupping them entirely in my palms. Which is a feat, I recognize. Leah had a generous amount of chest to go with the rest of her curves, but my hands were big and they fit perfectly in them. I groaned, lowering myself down onto her, my lips brushing against hers ever so slightly. "You're fucking perfect, Leah."
I can both hear and feel her breath hitch as she adjusted herself, wrapping her legs around my hips and her hands moving to graze along my chest. "So are you, Ward," she whispered before she nipped at my lower lip, her teeth tugging it. "I can't wait any longer and I'm not above begging. Please just take me."
Well, that just about got me to come undone. It was almost animalistic, the way I grabbed her, crushing my lips once again to hers. In a flurry of hands, the two of us removed any remaining clothing we still had on, barely moving away from one another to do so. Our bodies were like magnets, locking together almost instantly once we tried to lessen that connection, however brief it may be. Before long she was completely naked, and I was kicking my pants down onto the floor.
Heart of a Rebel: Rebel Aces MC Part 1 Page 7