Defend Me: A Frazier Falls Novel

by Collins, Kelly

  “Get off. It’s not finished yet.”

  “Hell yes, it’s finished. It’s been finished for hours, and everyone knows it. They’re giving you space, but I’m done with that.”

  I lie back on the hard wood.

  “You’re right. I’ve been avoiding everyone.”

  Eli held a hand up to his ear as if he hadn’t heard me. “What was that? It sounded like you said I was right.”

  I threw a screw at him that he smoothly avoided.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run off the way I did in the first place when all you were trying to do was talk some sense into me, but I didn’t want to listen. Something I usually excel at.”

  Eli sighed as he moved over to sit beside me. “You need to see something.”

  When he pulled out his cell phone, I swung back into a sitting position. “What is it?”

  “Watch. Don’t say anything until the end.”

  When he started playing a video, I looked closely at his screen, bristling when I realized who the people in the video were.

  Rose and Brady.

  I glared at him. “What the—”

  “Shh,” he reprimanded. “Watch. And listen.”

  I did. I watched as Rose, dressed in that beautiful blue dress of hers, flirted outrageously with a pleased-looking Brady. I couldn’t stand the way he looked at her.

  “I don’t understand why you’d want me to—”

  “Shut up and watch.”

  I turned back to the video as the viewpoint changed. Eli, Rich, and a man I only knew from photos to be Rose’s friend Nick had moved to the bar. Brady told them to go away, but then—

  The conversation turned. Rose scolded Brady for what he’d done to me, and when he said I’d had it coming, she punched him in the face, then she climbed over the bar and punched him again until Brady was on the floor.

  I watched the rest of the video in bewilderment as Eli and Rose took turns to drill home if Brady didn’t want to lose the bar, he’d do well to never harass anyone again. The look on his face when he realized Eli filmed the entire thing was priceless.

  When the video was finished, I looked at him. “When did this happen?”

  “About two hours ago.”

  “Wait, so … when did you decide to do this?”

  My brother grinned. “Yesterday. With Rose. I was going to do something about Brady after everything you said regardless, but when I overheard her talking to her mom on the phone, I knew I had to get her to help me.”

  I frowned. “What was she saying to her mom?”

  He shrugged. “The truth. When I heard her admit to her mom that she had teased you as a kid, I knew I could trust her when she said she had no idea why Brady was bullying you. Not that I ever expected her to have known like I said the other night.”

  “You’re so insightful, thanks for rubbing it in.” I cast my gaze down. “I should have let her explain herself. I got too caught up in what everyone was saying. It was like going back to high school all over again.”

  “It would have happened to any of us.” He patted me on the back. “It didn’t help that she was so upset she could barely get a sentence out.”

  “That makes it worse.”

  Eli chuckled. “I guess it does. I thought I’d be happy to see her upset and humiliated by everyone, but it turned out I hated it. She didn’t deserve it, especially since the two of you had already made peace with your past.”

  “I know.”

  “So why haven’t you called her to apologize? Fair enough procrastinating on everything else but to put off Rose? If I hadn’t found her in the diner and persuaded her to help me out, she had every intention of getting an early flight back to New York. You wouldn’t have had an opportunity to speak to her face to face.”

  I froze. “She was going to leave before the wedding?”

  “She wouldn’t miss the actual wedding. She’s one of Carla’s bridesmaids, but she was going to leave straight after without going to the reception. If you’d been relying on getting some courage in the form of alcohol in order to speak to her, you’d have lost the chance.”

  “What can I say to her?”

  “Did you see her in the video I showed you? She’s worked through the upset and moved straight through anger to reach acceptance. She told me she didn’t plan on contacting you again to respect your wish for her to leave you alone. Talk about maturity.”

  “She doesn’t plan on speaking to me at the wedding?”

  “Now you’re getting it. You’ve got to speak to her first if you want her in your life.”

  I collapsed back onto the wooden decking, sighing heavily. Eli layed down beside me with a frown.

  “I don’t like the look on your face right now, Pax,” he murmured. “Please tell me you’re going to speak to her again. She literally got back at Brady for you. Well, for her too, but that’s beside the point. You’re clearly crazy about one another, as insane as that still sounds to me.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it would be better for us if we leave things as they are. She’s going back to New York in a few days anyway. What would be the point?”

  “You’re a fool.”

  I turned to him. “Excuse me?”

  He seemed to ignore me, perusing through photos on his cell phone until I glanced at one over his shoulder. “Why the hell are you kissing Rose when you’ve got Emily?” I was immediately furious.

  He grinned, holding his phone closer to me so I could see the photo better. “Doesn’t sound like someone who wants to give her up. This was my reward for helping her with her ex-boyfriend.”

  “Wait, what? When?”

  He stretched out like a cat, making a contented noise as he did so. “Yesterday. He rolled into Frazier Falls, begging for her to take him back. Turns out, she caught him cheating on her, and he acted like it was nothing. It’s why she came home so early.”

  “Were they serious?”

  He nodded. “Rose thought so. I imagine she was torn up.”

  A hollow, sick feeling grew in my stomach. I hadn’t even asked her why she’d come back early. She must have been in so much pain.

  “I can tell what you’re thinking from your face, Pax.”

  “This whole trip was supposed to be a break for her, and I ruined it.”

  He laughed. “If she wanted you to know, don’t you think she would’ve told you? She was enjoying spending time with you without having anything hanging over her head. The guy treated her like a business deal—a merger of sorts.”

  I went quiet, considering everything he’d said. Eventually, I asked, “How did you help her get rid of the guy?”

  “I pretended to be her new boyfriend.”

  I choked as I sat up. “You what?”

  “Again, evidence that you don’t want anyone else to be with her. If you let her go back to New York without telling her how you feel, she’s going to run into countless men like her ex and probably a few good guys, too. You want her to be with some unknown New Yorker when she could be with you?”

  When I didn’t reply, he chuckled.

  “You’re so transparent. Call her, Pax. Or better yet, head over to her house and apologize to her in person. You can’t let this pass you by. You can’t let her go.”

  He was right, which was infuriating because it was Eli, and he loved to be right.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  He pushed me over in response.

  “What was that? Was that a ‘thank you’ I heard from you?”

  “You’re the worst,” I said as I rolled him over so that he was lying face-down on the deck.

  “Real mature, Pax,” he said with his cheek pressed to the wood. He got up, brushed himself off, and grinned. “You’re done here. Let Owen and Carl set up for their big day and go sort your life out. No matter what Rose says, I’ll be in Reilly’s with Emily having a beer, so feel free to join me if she breaks your heart.”

  “Such a supportive brother.”

  “Only the best.” />
  He walked away, leaving me to clean up the tools I’d been pretending to use for the last two hours in a vain attempt to keep busy. It had been so stupid of me to waste my time like that. He was right; Rose could have left, and I’d have lost the opportunity to tell her how I feel.

  After I’d cleaned up, I pulled out my phone, not wanting to risk heading to Lucy’s house only to find that Rose was out, then I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned to see her smiling.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Rose

  “Hey.”

  It sounded so stupid, so insignificant. After everything that had happened, I chose to say, hey?

  I’m an idiot.

  Paxton watched me carefully. “I was going to call you.”

  That was the last thing I’d been expecting.

  “You were?”

  He nodded, and I took it as a good enough sign to move forward, closing the distance between us. “Paxton, I—”

  “It’s fine, Rose,” he interrupted. “You don’t have to say anything.”

  “But I do, because whether I like it or not, this whole mess was my fault.”

  “Everything can’t be about you, Rose.”

  I bristled despite myself. “That’s unfair.” I was here to apologize, not get into another argument. I was only here because Eli insisted that I speak to Paxton before the wedding; otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. As recently as five minutes ago, he texted to urge me to speak to his brother, and so here I was.

  I had one chance to fix this. I couldn’t mess this up.

  “Paxton, I never knew why Brady tormented you, but I know why I did.”

  “You’re a sadist?”

  The laugh started low in my stomach and moved up like a raging river of hysteria. When I didn’t answer, he joined in.

  “Sadist? No, but maybe a masochist. I seem to be a magnet for the people who can hurt me the most.” Leaning on the rail, I watched the water rush by. It moved by as fast as time. How had fifteen years passed and still the pain of youth scratched at both of us?

  “I hurt you?”

  “God, yes. Every time you looked at me and didn’t say a word. Don’t you get it? I liked you then, and I like you now.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to pull my hair or punch my arm?” He moved closer, closing the gap.

  “Oh, I do, but I’d rather kiss you and tell you I think you’ve turned out to be a wonderful man. More importantly, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you suffered because of my silence.”

  Paxton took a final step until we were face to face.

  “You … silent?” He shook his head. “The Rose Rogers I know is never without words. Funny you lost your tongue now when there’s so much to say, and I’ve found mine.”

  “What a mess.” I fell forward until my head rested on his chest. The scent of his cologne mixed with sunshine and hard work was the perfect aromatic therapy to ease the strain of a nerve-racking day.

  “I’m sorry too. For lots of reasons, but mostly because I of all people know that often what appears to be the truth is not. We all hide behind something. For me, it was silence. For you, I imagine you hid behind a false sense of confidence. We aren’t all that different.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Paxton was apologizing to me. After everything that had happened. Everything I had done. Everything that had transpired. He was apologizing to me.

  I looked up at him. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

  He bit out a laugh. “You’re not going to let me take responsibility for my own actions?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. Taking responsibility for my actions is my new thing.”

  My face warmed as Paxton brushed his fingers against my cheek.

  We were both quiet for a moment; then, I curled my palm around his.

  His eyes sparkled with mischief.

  “Tell me. How does it feel being the most hated person in Frazier Falls? Well, second-most hated behind Brady. The man has to win at something.”

  I pulled my hand back so I could slap his chest, but he laughed as he grabbed mine and brought it to his lips for a kiss, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “Rose, I’m sorry. Even if you don’t want me to say it, it’s true.”

  “Paxton, I—”

  “I know you’re sorry, too,” he interrupted, “for whatever part you played in what Brady did. Even though it was accidental, you were put in a situation where you had to say what you said, and that’s terrible. We all say stupid shit out of anger, frustration, or fear.”

  He pulled me in closer until the only thing between us was our intertwined hands.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I told Brady all those years ago. While I had no idea what love was back then, I never hated you like you thought. I was a kid who had no idea what that messy tangle of feelings meant.”

  He sighed. “All this time you had a crush on me, Rogers? Imagine that. Wouldn’t it have been easier to say you were in love with someone on the football team? You were dating Reggie at the end of your sophomore year. Shouldn’t you have said his name?”

  I made a face. “I was never serious about Reggie. I only dated him because of peer pressure. I was a cheerleader, and he was the obvious choice.”

  He smirked. “Nothing about you is obvious, and here I thought I had you pegged.”

  “Are you saying I was predictable?”

  He tilted my head up with a finger beneath my chin. “You were, but we’ve both changed, and you’re a mystery I’m dead set on solving.”

  I looked at his handsome face for a few seconds, reveling in the expression that quirked his mouth into a smile and lit up his beautiful blue eyes.

  When I closed mine, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, as hard and passionately as I could.

  He reciprocated, taking a step or two back as I moved against him, our bodies instinctively looking for a vertical surface to lean on. When I opened my eyes, I realized we were on the edge of the wedding stage, the creek flowing below us.

  I pulled away and grinned, not giving him a second to compose himself before I pushed him into the water.

  I barely heard the sound he made as he crashed into the creek. My laughter rose above the din.

  When Paxton surfaced, running a hand over his face to clear away the water, he was laughing, too.

  I sat down on the edge of the stage, taking off my shoes to dangle my feet into the stream. He swam over with an impressed look on his face.

  “I didn’t see that coming,” he said.

  “Paybacks are hell.”

  He chuckled. “They sure are. Care to join me?”

  I shook my head. “My feet in are enough for me.”

  He turned his head to look at the other end of the stage, which was secluded by the low-hanging, heavy branches of the trees on the opposite bank of the creek. He smiled wickedly at me.

  “What about joining me over there?”

  My hand came to my heart as if I were appalled by the claim. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”

  “Depends …” He swam over to the opposite bank, lifting himself onto the stage with strong, tightly-muscled arms before removing his sodden T-shirt. “If what you’re thinking of is, us burning off a little excess energy right here and now, then I guess I was asking if you’d be interested.”

  I laughed as I got to my feet and walked over to meet him. There was no one around, and the trees would do a good job of hiding us. The water would no doubt drown out whatever sounds we made. Before I second-guessed myself, he grabbed me and pulled me beneath him. My clothes absorbed the dripping water, and I pushed away in order to slide my dress up.

  “We’ve got to stop this outside stuff,” I joked as he undid the buttons of his pants and pulled them off, throwing them to the side to join his soaked shirt. “It’s not a habit I’m inclined to develop.”

  He chuckled as he grazed his lips against my cheek, planting gentle kisses along my jawline, down my neck,
and across my collarbone. He kept the kisses light but sensual. The sensation left me shivering in anticipation.

  “We can indulge the habit once more for the sake of christening the wedding stage. I’m simply doing a quality control check.” The words buzzed against my skin while his hands roved across my thighs, playing with the edges of my panties as I pulled his mouth back to mine.

  “I don’t think taking your time teasing me is conducive to a quickie by the creek.”

  He swallowed my words as I spoke them.

  “You’re probably right.” In a flash, Paxton entered me, and the shock quickly became pleasure. Pleasure I thought I’d never experience again, after what had happened over the past few days.

  It was unbearable, knowing I’d almost lost this. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. His quickened pace slowed down until the grind of our bodies built up the heat I’d come to expect around him.

  “I don’t want to lose this,” I gasped into his ear as he continued the steady pace. “Not now that I know what’s between us, and how I’ve always felt about you.”

  He bit into my neck as his breathing accelerated. His hands threaded through my hair. He pulled back and stared into my eyes with a fierceness I’d never seen before.

  “How have you always felt about me, Rogers?”

  Despite the situation we were in, the years of uncertainty, the lies I’d told myself, I owed him the truth, but I was Rose Rogers, and nothing could be that easy. “You already know.”

  “I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say the words I never thought I’d ever hear from you.”

  He pulled out of me for a brief moment before he sunk back inside, causing me to stifle a cry of pleasure.

  “You’re … cruel,” I groaned.

  “So are you.” He moved again, touching the exact spot that started my body quivering. “Say it.”

  I locked eyes with him, almost tempted to bury my face in his neck and refuse to speak. Instead, I said, “I love you.”

  “Finally. I think deep inside, I always knew.”

  My eyes widened. “But you don’t love—”

  “But I do love you, you idiot,” he growled, his mouth back on mine before I could say anything else. “Always have, and it scared me into silence.”