I had a decision to make.
Chapter 37
Ashton
I walked into the office and the first thing I smelled was the offensive cheap perfume my new secretary insisted on bathing in every morning before she came to work. It had probably been produced sometime in the 1900s and had been fermenting since. I had hoped she would quit. Every morning I showed up, fingers crossed that she wouldn’t be sitting at Willow’s desk. She was always there. She was always looking at me with condescension and disdain. I knew she didn’t like me. The feeling was mutual.
“Good morning, Mr. Wolfe,” she said in that way that sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
“Mrs. White,” I said.
“Your appointment is waiting in your office,” she said without looking at me.
“I don’t have an appointment.”
“I guess you’ll have to tell him that,” she snapped.
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for doing a bang-up job.”
I walked into my office, not sure who to expect. “Kyle?” I said with surprise.
“Hey,” he said, getting to his feet.
“What brings you by? Ready to come back?”
He smirked. “Not exactly.”
I sat down, putting my coffee on the desk and taking off my jacket. “What’s going on?”
“I wanted to see how things were going now that Willow is gone.”
I should have known. “Fine. Did you think things would fall apart?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“She walked out on me. I didn’t fire her.”
He nodded. “But you two worked well together. She didn’t seem to be all that happy to be leaving.”
“Could have fooled me,” I muttered.
“What happened?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. She said she had a good job waiting for her.”
Kyle was still nodding. “She does.”
“How do you know all this?” I asked, realizing there was an ulterior motive to his questions.
“I talked with her when she was ending the contract. I know where she works.”
“So?”
“So you need her,” he insisted.
I scowled. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. Don’t play games. It’s time to let down that guard. This is your chance for something really good in your life. Don’t let her get away from you because you have your head up your ass.”
“I have plenty of good things in my life,” I countered.
He shook his head. “Not like this.”
I felt like I was staring at a fork in the road. I could make the same choice I had over and over and choose to be alone, or I could be brave and take a chance. I could trust Kyle just a little.
“Where?” I heard myself ask.
He smiled, leaning forward and handing me a business card with her name on it. “Right there. I happen to know she’s at work right now.”
“I can’t just go,” I said.
“Yes, you can. This is important. You need her in your life.”
I felt nauseated. It was a pivotal moment in my life. I wasn’t sure I had it in me. “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“I have a feeling she will want to talk to you. You won’t know unless you try. Don’t let this one get away. This woman is special. You know it and I know it. I saw it the moment the two of you met. There is a very obvious chemistry between the two of you. I’m serious. Don’t let her get away.”
“I don’t want her to get away,” I confessed.
“Then go. Now.”
I waited for half a second before jumping up and putting my jacket back on. “I’m going.”
He grinned and got up as well. I was already moving toward the door. I didn’t bother telling the woman that claimed to be my secretary that I was leaving. She’d figure it out. Kyle walked beside me, his hand on my shoulder and squeezing. I had a feeling he would stuff me into the car and drive me to her office himself if I didn’t go.
“Good luck,” he said with a huge smile on his face.
I drove straight to the address on the card. I had no idea what I was going to say. I thought about turning around at least a dozen times. I was being a fool. She could very well tell me to fuck off and leave her alone. I wasn’t sure I could do that. I wanted her in my life. I didn’t know what that looked like, but I was willing to try.
I got to her work and asked for her. I was escorted to a medium-sized office. Willow was sitting at her desk, her eyes focused on the laptop screen. “Hi,” I said.
Her head popped up, her eyes wide. “What are you doing here?”
“I was hoping we could talk,” I said.
“Uh, right now?”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
She looked over my shoulder and then around the office. “Here?”
“I don’t live too far from here. We could go to my place.”
“I—”
“Go,” a woman’s voice said from behind me.
I spun around, looking at a beautiful woman.
“Lilly, I can’t,” Willow said.
“Sure, you can. Go. I’ve got this.” Lilly was looking me up and down, a big smile on her face. I felt like I was on display at a market and half-expected her to ask to see my teeth.
I turned to look back at Willow, silently pleading with her. “Please?” I asked when it looked like she would still say no.
I had taken a huge chance. I had never put myself out there like that. I had never let anyone see any weakness. My heart was pounding in my chest. I could face down a boardroom full of execs and never break a sweat, but standing in front of her and begging her for a chance was giving me heart palpitations.
“Fine, we can go, but I have to pick up Jake,” she said.
I bobbed my head up and down. “Of course.” I spun around to look at her friend. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “Break her heart and I’ll break something you treasure dearly.”
I smirked. “Noted.”
“I’m ready,” Willow said. “Should I follow you?”
“We can take my car,” I said.
She nodded, looking at her friend for approval. Lilly was still smiling and very gently nudged her out the door. I liked her, I decided. I had a feeling that despite her threat, she liked me. I drove to my house, nervous as hell. My palms were sweaty, but I didn’t dare wipe them on my pants and let her see just how nervous I was.
I parked in the driveway of my house that was too big for a single man, but I liked the view of the bay, and I liked the privacy the tall hedges and fencing provided. “Nice place,” she commented. “I’m not sure why we had to come here.”
I shrugged. “Because I wanted to talk to you without interruptions and it was close.”
I led her inside, watching as she looked around the place. “Nice. Big.”
“Thank you. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Water would be good,” she said, clearly uneasy.
“Have a seat in there and I’ll be right in,” I told her.
She looked toward the living room with a large sectional couch facing a massive TV. She went in to sit down while I went to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water. I was still running different sentences through my mind. I handed her the water and took a seat a couple of cushions away.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“How is the job going?”
“Good. I like it. We’ve already had a soft opening. We’ve got new kids signing up every day and plenty of volunteers.”
She had a glow about her when she talked about it. I realized she had made the right decision. She was going to be very good at the job. “Maybe I can donate,” I suggested.
She smiled. “I will definitely take you up on that.”
“Willow, I need you,” I blurted out the words. It was the truth. Honesty was the best policy.
She sighed. “I can’t go back. I really like my job. It’s good. I feel like I’m doing something goo
d and not just pushing paperwork around.”
“I don’t mean at work,” I clarified. “I need you in my life. I want to see you outside of work. I want to be able to call you, take you to dinner, and spend weekends with you and Jake.”
She looked stunned. “Ashton,” she said, and I could hear the giant but waiting.
“Don’t say it,” I whispered, knowing my heart would shatter if she told me she didn’t want anything to do with me.
She put a hand on my leg. “I was going to ask if you’re sure. You made it very clear about what you did and didn’t want.”
I shrugged. “That was before I met you. You might have changed my way of thinking.”
“Is it really that easy?” she asked. “You were so adamant about it before. Will you tell me why?”
“Why the change?” I asked.
She slowly shook her head. “Why you don’t want a family?”
She wasn’t going to take any bullshit excuse. I wasn’t a relationship expert, but I knew I had to tell her the truth. She needed to know about my history. I couldn’t drag her into my mess without giving her all the information. I rubbed a hand over my chest, my heart squeezing at the thought of opening up.
“I didn’t have a family,” I said. “My parents were junkies. I was taken into the system when I was probably four or five. I don’t even remember. I was a troubled kid and damaged goods. No one wanted me. I was in foster homes most of my life until I ran away when I was sixteen and stayed off the grid until I was eighteen. I don’t want to be a father because I don’t know how. I don’t want to be my dad. I don’t know what it means to be a part of a family. I have always felt I was destined to be alone, on the outside looking in.”
“Ashton, you are not your father,” she said. “You are not damaged. You are good. I can see the good in you.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know that. I don’t remember much of them, but they weren’t good people. I was in a lot of foster homes with people that had no business being around kids. My experience with parents is not great. I don’t want my upbringing to somehow come back and be repeated through me. I don’t want to repeat the cycle.”
She took my hand. “I’m sorry for what you went through. I truly am. I don’t think your history defines who you will be. I saw you with Jake. You were great. Are you a drug user?”
I wasn’t sure if I believed that, but I nodded. “No!” I quickly denied.
“Then, just be you.”
“I want to try. I’m telling you about my past so you will understand my hesitation. I promise I would never do anything to hurt Jake, but I have zero experience with kids.”
She worried her bottom lip. “Ashton, I’m pregnant.”
I blinked, my eyes on her lips. I couldn’t have possibly heard her correctly. One second, we were talking about my sordid past, and then she was pregnant. “What?”
“I’m pregnant. With your baby. I didn’t tell you before because I know how you feel about kids and families, but now that I know why, I think you need to know.”
I had certainly heard the words more than once, but I knew they weren’t real. Hearing them come from Willow was very different. “Pregnant.”
She slowly nodded. “Pregnant. Does that change your mind about needing me in your life?”
I shook my head. “No,” I heard myself say. “No. I’ll do my best. I’ll need you to guide me, but I want my child to have a family. I want to be a dad. I will read every book there is. I will watch every self-help video.”
There was a big smile on her face. “You’re going to do fine. Go with your gut.”
I couldn’t wait. I reached for her, pulling her close. It had been too long since I had touched her. My lips touched hers, infusing me with warmth and something good. It felt good to have her next to me again.
She pulled back, putting her hand against my cheek. “You’re sure you’re okay with this? I don’t want to pressure you.”
“I’m very okay with this.”
“All right then. We’re going to do this.”
She reached for me and slammed her mouth against mine. She attacked me like a woman starving. I was happy to let her feast upon me.
Chapter 38
Willow
Hearing the words had done something to my hormones. I had never stopped wanting him. I had told myself it wasn’t possible, but it never stopped me from wanting to be with him. Having him in my arms felt too good to be true. I couldn’t pull away. I didn’t want to ever let him go.
“Come with me,” he said, slightly breathless.
I looked at him, feeling dazed. “What?”
He got to his feet, pulling me to stand with him. “I want to show you something.”
He grabbed my hand and led me upstairs and down a hall. There was a set of ornate double doors at the end. He pushed them open, stepping inside what I assumed was his bedroom. It was all dark wood furniture with black and white décor around the massive space.
“This is what you wanted to show me?” I asked.
He grinned, pulling me against him. “Yes and no. I was thinking we could climb in my bed and I could make love to you. I don’t want to fuck you against the wall. I want to make love. In a bed.”
I laughed. “I think that sounds very exciting.”
He slowly lifted the blouse over my head, wasting no time in getting right back to where we had left off. We undressed one another, taking our time, but that underlying urgency was still humming between us. It was different to have the luxury of privacy and time. I had loved the rush of possibly getting caught, but this was special.
When we were both stripped completely naked, he took my hand once again and led me to his bed. Without prompting, I climbed onto the massive king-sized bed that befitted a man his size. He followed me, stretching out alongside me and running the tip of his finger between my cleavage. My breasts were full and very sensitive with the pregnancy. The slightest touch of his finger felt delicious.
His mouth closed over one breast, gently sucking and massaging while his hand caressed the other. My hand ran through his hair, over his arm, and then down his back. I had missed his body. I needed to touch all of him. He kissed his way to my belly, hovering over my belly button before looking up at me. I could see the tenderness in his eyes, and it made me feel cherished.
His mouth trailed back up my body, kissing me until I felt like I would erupt into flames. “Ashton, I need you.”
He kissed another trail down my neck before very carefully climbing over me. “Tell me if I hurt you.”
I smiled up at him, my hand cupping his cheek. “You won’t hurt me.”
He supported his weight on his arms and expertly guided himself to my opening. I opened my legs wider, giving him full access. He nudged at the entrance before sliding in just a little. I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the moment. He pushed farther, his hard length stretching my body. I opened my eyes again and found him watching me.
“You good? This is a new one for me.”
I smiled at him, loving how tender he was. “I’m good, but I will be much better if you would go a little deeper.”
His eyes flashed with passion, and with serious control, he slid home. Our eyes were locked as our bodies adjusted to the joining. I could feel myself squeezing him, clamping down on him. His cock throbbed inside me. He slowly began to move, keeping his weight off me. I reached up and pulled him down. I wanted to feel his weight. I wanted to feel him.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathed, trying to hold himself up on his elbows.
“You’re not,” I assured him, gasping when I felt him jerk inside me.
He squeezed his eyes closed. “Oh my god, I’ve missed this.”
“Me too.”
“I don’t want you to leave me ever again.”
“I won’t,” I answered. In that moment, I would have agreed to be the Queen of England. My body was demanding pleasure and release.
He began to move, still supporting t
he majority of his weight on his elbows but giving me the full body contact I craved. I kissed his neck, sucking on the flesh as his body set mine on fire. I could feel the tension in him. It radiated off him, telling me he was struggling to hold back.
I pushed at his chest. “Shit, sorry, was I squishing you?”
“No, roll over,” I ordered.
He frowned at me as if he would deny my request. I pushed against his chest until he complied with my order. I sat up and stared down at the man’s gorgeous body stretched out before me. In the future, I was going to spend more time getting to know every inch of him, but just then, there were more pressing matters.
I climbed on him, positioning myself over him before sliding down his hard length. I heard him suck in a breath and then go completely stiff under me. I opened my eyes and found him squeezing his eyes closed as if he were in brutal pain. “Ashton?” I whispered.
He opened his eyes and stared into mine. “Oh god,” he groaned.
“Good?” I said the only word I could get out. The new position had triggered a series of violent spasms that started deep inside my belly and vibrated throughout.
He jerked his head. “Yes.”
I nodded, placed my hands on his chest, and began to move. Every stroke with him inside me felt like every little nerve ending was being plucked. I gasped and jerked, feeling completely uncoordinated as I began to ride him in earnest. I moved faster, my fingertips digging into his chest as the need to ride him hard and fast took over. I was no longer in control. My body was demanding more and more, as if I couldn’t get enough.
“Oh god,” I moaned, my head dropping back as I looked up at the sky. One of his big hands covered my breast, squeezing and then pinching my nipple.
The shock of pain that was quickly chased away by the bolt of pleasure was the last straw. My body erupted over him. I cried out, releasing all the cries of pleasure I had held back during our other rounds of sex. It felt good to add voice to the ecstasy. He must have seen or felt how good it felt, and his own shouts of pleasure mingled with mine.
I rode harder and faster, wanting to draw out every last drop of ecstasy before I collapsed onto his chest. My body jerked and spasmed around him as I struggled to catch my breath. “Holy shit,” I breathed.
Spring It On Me Page 23