by J Porteous
I pulled my scarf up over my nose to allow myself to breathe without the risk of sucking down lungfuls of hot ash. I glanced at Jessica. ‘Do you have something to cover your mouth?’
‘No,’ she said, spluttering her words.
‘Let me find something.’
I dropped to one knee and sat my rucksack down. I rummaged past the clothing which Jessica had made me pack, searching around in the bottom of my bag. I pulled out an old t-shirt, one which had seen much better days, and tore a wide strip from it; then proceeded to tie it around Jessica’s mouth.
‘Is that better?’
She nodded, her eyes watering. ‘I’m scared.’
I put a hand on her shoulder. ‘I’m scared too, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your dad would be proud of you if he could see you now.’
Jessica nodded to herself. ‘Let’s go find him.’
We crested the hill above Community and saw the extent of the devastation. The fifteen or so buildings which had made Community were no more than husks, blackened and collapsed. Fires still burned in some of the larger buildings, adding yet more thick smoke to the air. There was a stench on the wind; burnt meat.
I turned to Jessica. ‘I’m going to need you to stay here. Can you do that for me?’
Jessica shook her head. ‘I don’t want to be by myself.’
‘I get that,’ I said. ‘But I’m not sure how safe it is down there. I’m going to go take a look to see what’s happened.’
Jessica looked past me and down at the chaos. ‘Do you think my dad’s down there? Do you think he’s okay?’
I looked back down at the remains of Community. ‘I’ll go find him, don’t you worry.’
Jessica tugged at my sleeve. ‘Be quick,’ she said. ‘Please.’
I nodded. ‘Stay out of sight, I’ll be back soon.’
From what I could see as I crept towards Community, there was no movement. The smoke thickened as I grew closer, the harsh burn of it stinging my nostrils and throat. I forced myself onwards, the warmth of the scorched air permeating through my thick winter coat, sweat dampening my clothes against my skin.
The place was a mess. Community had been one of my longer stays; almost a year now, long enough to get to know names and faces. Of course, I still never gave them mine; friends were not something I had the time or care for, but that still didn’t mean that I didn’t feel pain for what had happened here.
Almost all of the houses were burned to nothing. Blackened wood littered the ground, sticking out amongst the thick layers of fresh ash. I walked among the ruins hoping to find something, anything. I soon found something I wish I hadn’t.
In the centre of Community, in what used to be the trader’s marketplace, was a group of wooden stakes. Tied to each of them was the source of the burnt meat smell. I staggered closer, the smell threatening to gag me as I approached.
There were faces I knew, but they were barely recognisable, their faces contorted in agony. The heat from the pyres still threatened to burn me if I got close, sparing me the worst of the details, but I could still see the bodies of the old and young. There weren’t enough bodies to be the entire of Community; I could only hope that some of them got away.
A scream pierced the air. I turned to see Jessica, stood by one of the ruined houses, her face fixated on the smoking pyres. ‘I told you to stay put!’ I said, striding towards her. She was shaking, her eyes unable to move from the horrific image. I placed my hand over her eyes. ‘You don’t need to see this.’
She threw herself into me, burying her head into my stomach, deep sobs shaking her. ‘My dad,’ she whispered. ‘Is he-’
‘No,’ I replied. ‘No, he’s not there. I can’t see him anywhere.’ I turned her away from the pyre and lifted her head up to look at me. ‘If we’re going to find him, I’m going to need to look around, okay?’
She continued sobbing. ‘Those people,’ she said. ‘Was it the bad people the woman in the barn told us about?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said. As much as I hated to admit it, the thought frightened me. People told all sorts of stories as to where they came from, it was impossible to tell the lies from the truth. For all of the more terrifying tales, I wrote them off as lies; but seeing this evidence right in front of me, it was hard to deny it. ‘We’ve just got to stay focused on why we’re here.’
I sat Jessica down on the edge of what used to be Community, leaving her hidden by a mass of thorny bushes, and returned to search what was left of the village. I poked through the various buildings, shifting debris in an attempt to find an answer, even though I suspected there was none.
The wreckage of Community gave up little of interest. Everything that I found was beyond any use; all empty cans and burnt clothing. As I wandered through the ash, an odd smile found my face. Here I was, sifting through the debris of an atrocity, looking for the clue leading to a man that was already dead. It wasn’t too long ago that I would have given up searching for a live person, let alone a dead one.
I reached the edge of Community and decided to circle around; I couldn’t stomach looking at those helpless souls on the pyres any more. I followed the edge of the settlement, giving me a slight reprieve from the heat, a slurry of ash and snow underfoot.
Something caught my eye. Tangled in one of the nearby bushes was a coat, snagged on the thorns; no doubt snatched out of someone’s hands as they fled. It was in good condition, with a few patched holes here and there, so I quickly decided to disentangle it.
Among the bushes, almost covered up by the falling ash, were two sets of footprints, leading away from Community and heading north. Judging by the fact that they had not been completely wiped away by the falling ash, whoever left these must not have left too long ago. It was a lead, and that was all I needed right now. Even if I wouldn’t be giving Jessica her dad back, if I could talk to some survivors I could at least get some answers.
I dashed back through Community and found Jessica. She had stayed where I had left her, her face stained with fresh tears. As she saw my approach she looked up, her eyes gleaming with hope.
‘Did you find anything?’ she asked, quickly standing and brushing off the ash which had settled on her.
‘I did,’ I said. Don’t get her hopes up too much. ‘It might not be your dad, but it’s something. And here, put this on.’ I held the newly found coat out to her.
She took it in one hand, holding it away from her as if it was diseased. ‘Isn’t this...someone else’s?’
‘It was,’ I said. ‘But I don’t think they’re going to need it any more.’ I glanced at her short sleeves, her burnt forearms and hands sticking out from them. ‘Something tells me that you need it more than them.’
She looked at the coat. ‘I suppose.’ She removed her jacket and pulled the new coat on, leaving the old one to settle on the ground. It was too big for her, but it was better than what she previously had. She held her arms up, the ends of the sleeves flopping around. ‘It’s too big.’
I nodded. ‘Better than being too small,’ I said. ‘You’ll grow into it.’
‘My dad always said that.’
‘It sounds like your dad was a sensible man.’ I caught my tongue, hoping she had not caught on to what I had said.
Jessica smiled at those words. ‘He is. Do you think we’ll find him soon?’
I allowed myself a small breath of relief. ‘I don’t know that,’ I said. ‘But what I do know is that people got away. I found some footprints where I found your coat.’
‘How do we know it’s not the bad people?’
‘There are only two sets of footprints.’ I looked back at what was Community. ‘There’s no way two people could have done this.’
‘Do you think they’ll have seen my dad?’
I felt sick to my stomach about lying to the girl again, but, after what she had just witnessed, there seemed to be no good to come out of telling her. If I could have just left her at Community in safe hands, I could have left the lie there with h
er for someone else to worry about. Now that it was my burden, I couldn’t quite figure out a way to get out of it. ‘I hope so,’ I said. ‘We’ll have to go speak to them and find out.’
‘Well what are we waiting for?’ Jessica said, a spring returning to her step. ‘Let’s go find them.’
The footsteps were fast disappearing. The combination of the ash, as well as fresh snowfall, caused them to blur further into the surroundings. The snow gradually turned from the darkened grey of Community to the usual light grey the post-burn world had become accustomed too. The days of pure white were long over.
Jessica’s excitement had not taken long to drain away. She meandered beside me, the swinging ends of her arms almost looking comical. She pulled the torn material away from her face and sucked down deep gulps of air.
I pulled my scarf down. ‘I’m sorry you had to see that.’
Jessica continued to walk, her eyes fixated on watching her one foot fall in front of the other. ‘I’ve never seen a dead person before.’ She stayed silent for a moment. After a few more steps she glanced back over her shoulder. ‘Why did they do that to those people? Did they make them angry?’
‘There are some people you just can’t reason with,’ I replied. ‘They probably didn’t do anything wrong. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.’
‘What happens if they find us?’
It was something I had tried not to think about as I wandered around the remains of Community. ‘We’ll be okay, kid. I promise.’
Jessica sniffed and wiped her eyes. ‘I want to go home.’
I stopped for a moment and looked down at her. ‘Your home isn’t safe any more, Jessica. Those other people found it, what makes you think that the bad people won’t find it?’
She sighed. ‘I just feel better when I’m there.’
‘You’re homesick, that’s understandable. You’ve never been away from home before, it’s normal for people to feel that.’
‘Did you have to leave your home?’
My stomach lurched at the memories which tried to surface. I had suppressed them for so long that they were just glimmers; like the occasional drop of water breaking the surface of a pond. I knew that the mention of my past would bring the dream tonight. May as well answer, it’s going to happen whether you do or don’t.
I nodded. ‘I did. Everyone you see had to. We all had places to live until the plague and the government purge hit us, and then we had to find new homes.’
‘Were you sad to leave it?’
‘I was,’ I said. The words caused a lump in my throat. ‘I still am.’
‘My dad told me that people used to live together in big places. Cities,’ Jessica said. ‘He said there were people as far as you could see on some streets.’
‘Your dad is right,’ I replied. It still came over as odd that there were people alive who knew absolutely nothing of the lives we used to lead. In a few generations, the cities of men would be a myth. ‘There were lots of cities, and everyone used to work and live there.’
‘Do you miss it?’
‘I do.’
‘Do you think we’ll see one?’
‘Maybe,’ I said. ‘We’ll have to see where these footprints take us first.’
We continued walking, both of our spirits somehow lifted. There was something to be said for conversation with such an innocent soul, something that made you forget all of your troubles, if even for a moment.
In her eyes, cities were these vast and magical places, full of treasures and wonders of the old world. In reality, they were cess-pits of plague-ridden corpses and abandoned homes; but in some brief moments, I could see the wonder for myself.
The footsteps had vanished at the top of a small slope. Jessica and I reached the bare top, a harsh wind whipping up the falling snow. The view was good from here; even if we didn’t find the owners of the footprints, we could at least survey the surrounding area. It was now late in the afternoon, the night would be coming soon; I hoped that we would spot even a basic shelter for the night.
The plume of Community was still clearly visible in the distance, a black spectre reaching up into a grey sky. I swiftly looked away, unable to watch it knowing those poor souls were still tied to their pyres in their last moments of agony.
The surrounding area was largely unimpressive. I watched the small copses of trees for movement, hoping to spot any potential danger before we wandered willingly into it. Beyond the trees of a small wooded area was a large point, sticking up toward the sky.
‘What’s that?’ Jessica said, pointing towards it.
‘A church.’
‘What’s that?’
I struggled to find words which would mean anything to her. To say it was a house of God seemed too meaningless in a world which God had undoubtedly deserted. ‘It’s where people used to pray,’ I said, unsure of what else to say. ‘It’s just another building now.’
‘My dad says prayers,’ Jessica said. ‘He used to pray for mum, and to keep us both safe, and our home.’
And that still couldn’t save him. I watched the woods between us and the church, but there was no movement to be found.
‘Do you think they’re down there? At the church?’
‘It would make sense,’ I said. ‘There’s nowhere else to go by the looks of things.’ I glanced up at the quickly darkening sky. ‘Either way, we’re going to have to stay there tonight.’
Chapter Three
The shadow of the church rose above us, silhouetted against the twilight sky. I had a good suspicion that we’d find whoever made the tracks in there; if not, then they may have perished in some ditch on the way.
I glanced at Jessica, who knelt next to me on the edge of the woodland area. ‘Keep close,’ I said. ‘We’re going to need to be quiet, just in case the people inside aren’t very nice.’
She responded with a nod, so I started my approach. Even though I was certain whoever was inside would struggle to see us in the darkness, I kept low to the ground and scrabbled forward. Thorns dug into the palms of my hands, my teeth gritted against the pain. Every few steps I heard a small yelp of pain from Jessica, no doubt feeling the same issue.
I pressed myself against the cold stone of the church, wet mosses dampening my clothes. From up close I could see that the great wooden doors at the entrance were nailed shut with large planks of scrap wood. I gave it a quick test of strength, pulling on one of the large pieces of wood, but it was securely in place. I paused, listening for a moment, but heard no one inside.
‘What’s going on?’ Jessica whispered beside me.
‘It’s shut,’ I replied. ‘But there’s got to be another door somewhere.’
We circled around the church, taking care when stepping across the uneven ground of the surrounding graveyard. I felt my way forward, not wanting to suddenly drop into an unseen sunken hole in the almost pitch black. The occasional moonlight allowed a brief glimpse of what was ahead, but it was not consistent enough to be relied upon.
Stone turned to wood beneath my hand. I ran both hands over it until I located a handle. ‘I’ve found a door,’ I said. I looked back at Jessica, her features obscured by the night. ‘Stay close, and stay alert. If there’s any sign of trouble, run for the door, okay?’
‘Okay.’
I applied pressure to the handle, slowly turning it. The door groaned open, the old wood swollen with the wet. The moment I saw the inside of the church was the moment I realised we were not alone.
There was a dim glow ahead, the light of a lamp bouncing off of the old stone walls inside. I reached inside my coat, grasping a hand around the stock of my shotgun. I trod carefully, easing myself forward in an attempt to stay as quiet as possible.
I reached the end of the wall and peeked around it. We had come out beside the altar at the top of the church. Down near what was left of the pews was a lamp, and beside it two bodies. In the light I could make out their miserable faces; I had seen both of them before, at Community, thou
gh their faces carried a sudden ageing.
I stepped out from behind the wall, my hands high in the air. ‘I’m not here to hurt you,’ I said, my voice echoing off of the old stone. ‘I just want to talk.’
The two bodies leapt from their seats. One of them brandished an old knife, the other a club fashioned from a tree branch. One of them peered at me through the gloom. ‘Who the fuck are you?’
I took another step forward, letting the light touch my features some more. ‘I know you from Community. Do you recognise me?’
The one with the branch lowered it slightly. ‘Yeah, you’re that gamekeeper, aren’t you?’ He looked towards the other man. ‘Put that down, will you? The Gamekeeper is alright.’
The other took longer to calm down. He glanced between myself and his friend several times before deciding to tuck his knife back into his belt band. ‘Fucking hell,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You almost gave us a fucking heart attack!’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I didn’t know anyone was in here.’ I walked down the few steps which led to the altar and stood beside the lamp. Up close I could see they were terrified. Their eyes were wide and watering, their hands still shaking from the sudden burst of adrenaline. I turned back towards the way I had entered. ‘It’s safe, Jessica. You can come in.’
The young girl dashed in from the night, happy to be back in the light once more. As I watched her, the disappointment as to the identity of these two men was evident. She looked up at me. ‘He’s not here,’ she said, voice shaking as if about to burst into tears.
‘Who’re you looking for?’ the one man said. ‘I don’t think I’ve seen you around before?’
‘She’s not from Community,’ I said. ‘She’s from nearby, looking for her dad. I’m helping her find him.’ I nodded towards them. ‘Show them the photo.’
Jessica retrieved the photo from her coat pocket and held it out towards them. ‘Have you seen him? I need to know.’
They both glanced at each other, then shrugged. ‘What’s your name, little girl?’ the one said.
‘Jessica.’
‘Well, Jessica, it’s nice to meet you,’ he said, holding out a hand and taking hers in his. ‘I’m Felix, and this is Diego.’ The other man waved on cue.