by J Porteous
Diego leaned over and peered at the photo through his thick-rimmed glasses. ‘Can’t say I’ve seen him. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t there, just means I didn’t see him.’
‘Sorry,’ Felix said, sitting on the edge of one of the pews. ‘Same here.’
Jessica’s bottom lip trembled in the lamplight. I awkwardly placed an arm around her, pulling her towards me. ‘Just because Felix and Diego haven’t seen him doesn’t mean he’s not still out there.’
Felix nodded. ‘We weren’t the only ones to escape, I can tell you that. I saw the Pickering family escape off into the woods, met a girl, Danielle, earlier too.’
‘Where were they heading?’ I asked.
‘North,’ Diego said. ‘The only way to get away from those monsters.’
My mind wandered back to what the stranger in Jessica’s house had said. There was almost no doubt that this was the same threat. ‘Who were they?’
Felix rubbed his eyes and shook his head. ‘Fuck knows. All I know is that they’re like ravenous dogs, swarmed all over Community in moments. They rounded up as many as they could, dragged them from their homes. They were chanting almost the whole time, mostly when they were tying those poor bastards to their stakes.’
‘There were so many,’ Diego said. ‘We couldn’t do anything. All we could do is run.’ His eyes flicked away from the conversation.
‘I’m not judging,’ I said. Tough situations could only be dealt with by tough decisions, and the world was full of them. ‘Sometimes all you can do is save yourselves.’
Diego chewed his lip and stared into the light of the lamp. ‘Yeah.’
I perched myself at the end of one of the pews, the wood creaking under the weight. ‘You’re both staying here tonight?’
Felix nodded. ‘We’ll head out in the morning.’
‘Going north,’ Diego added.
‘What’s north?’ I asked. ‘You got somewhere in mind?’
‘Kind of,’ Felix said. ‘We had a woman and her daughter come through Community the day before the attack, just trading the usual bits and bobs. I asked her where she was off to next, and she said the city. Not an old city, a new one.’
‘A new city? Where? How?’
‘She said it’s called Hope, that they’ve even got electricity.’
I snorted a laugh. ‘Believe me, I’ve heard some bullshit stories myself.’
‘It’s true,’ Diego said, looking up from the lamp. ‘She had something with her, some kind of identification card they use there. Seems like a lot of effort to fake that too.’
I paused at that thought. Tall tales were easy enough to fabricate, but to go through the trouble of forging some kind of documentation meant that they were either so deluded by their own lie that they believed it themselves, or that they were telling the truth.
Jessica’s dour mood seemed to have temporarily dissipated, the idea of a new city no doubt causing her mind to run wild. She looked at me with anticipation. ‘Do you think my dad has gone there?’
‘If everyone else is heading north, it could be possible,’ I said. ‘It seems like our best bet of finding him.’
‘Anyone with any sense is going north,’ Felix said. ‘If the city is as big as what I’ve been told, it will draw most of the stragglers there.’
I still found it hard to digest what Felix had said. A city, a sign of civilisation springing up in this broken world; it seemed impossible. Even more impressive was the rumour of electricity, something I never thought I would see again so soon. Memories of television, lights, and other luxuries came to my mind; the kind of thing which those born after everything ended would think was magic.
Even better was the idea of civilisation coming back. A city meant people, which meant families, which in turn meant a possible safe place for Jessica. If I could find just one family willing to take her, I could leave her and the burden of my lie behind. Besides, I had nothing to offer the girl. Hopefully, they would. Whoever they were.
Jessica’s stomach growled. ‘I’m hungry.’
‘Aren’t we all?’ Diego said, breathing out a loud sigh. ‘God, I wish we were home right now.’ He rolled his head towards me. ‘I suppose it’s too dark to go hunt something, Gamekeeper?’
‘You’re right,’ I said. I dropped my rucksack to the floor and dug through the top layer of clothing. ‘But you’re all in luck,’ I said, feeling around in the depths of the bag. I grasped a couple of tins and pulled them to the surface, holding them out into the light of the lamp. ‘You’ve got either cat food or beans. Half a can each.’
Felix’s eyes lit up. ‘God damn, you’ve really come through for us.’ He glanced at Jessica. ‘You’ve got first choice; beans or cat food?’
‘She’ll have the beans,’ I said. ‘Up to you guys which of you has the other half.’
Felix and Diego broke into an abrupt game of rock, paper, scissors. I promptly set about breaking open the can of beans, carefully piercing the top of the can with my hunting knife and prising it open. ‘I don’t have a fork or anything, so you’re going to need to dig in with your hands.’ I offered the can to Jessica.
‘Thank you.’ She grasped the can and dug a hand into it, scooping out the beans and devouring them.
I turned back to Felix and Diego. ‘Which one of you is sharing the cat food with me?’
Felix held a sheepish hand up. ‘I’ll be your dinner date tonight.’
It wasn’t the first time I had eaten pet food, and I doubt it would be the last. I remember gagging the first time I’d had to eat it, the smell coming off of it turning my stomach, but now it was as natural as anything else. Felix didn’t fare quite so well. I finished off what he couldn’t.
With our hunger somewhat sated, we made as comfy as beds as we could with the limited resources we had. We pushed several of the wooden pews together, creating makeshift beds for each of us. With another we braced the door we had come in, securing the building for the night.
I ran a quick sweep of the perimeter, making sure there were no other entrances which we had missed. Felix and Diego talked between themselves, muttering quietly as I wandered the stone hall. The moonlight glinted brightly off of the stained glass high above the altar, a cascade of dim hues filtering into the room. Something so fragile, and it’s still intact.
‘It’s really pretty.’
I looked to my side and found Jessica stood beside me, staring slack-jawed at the colourful wonder in front of her. ‘It is.’
‘Who are the people?’
‘They’re from a story,’ I said. ‘A very old one.’
‘From before? Like what my dad told me about?’
‘No. It’s older, much before even that.’
‘That’s really old.’
I laughed. ‘It is.’
We both stood in silence, admiring this rare piece of beauty in an ugly world. A strange sensation crept over me, a serene peacefulness making me forget that the outside world even existed for a moment. The world didn’t exist, the people who burnt Community didn’t exist; it was just me and the girl, alone in the world.
‘They’re not going to find us tonight, are they?’
Jessica was no longer looking at the stained glass, but looking up at me with worried eyes. ‘No,’ I said. ‘They won’t find us. Not tonight.’
‘Do you think they’ll find my dad?’
‘No,’ I said, that strange lurch in my stomach returning with the lie. ‘I’m sure he’s somewhere safe.’
Jessica paused for a moment. ‘Do you think he’s doing the same thing we are?’
‘What’s that?’
‘Thinking about us.’
‘I’m sure he’s thinking about you,’ I said. ‘Wherever he is.’ I patted her on the back. ‘Come on, it’s time to get some sleep. We’ve got a long walk ahead of us tomorrow.’
Jessica yawned. ‘When we go to the city?’
‘We’ll see how we go.’
It was the same dream every time. I would be sat on a bench in
a park, the sun shining down on me, the warmth feeling pleasant on my skin. A boy runs and laughs, jumping on the roundabout and calling to me to watch him. A woman sits next to me. My arm drapes over her shoulder, and we laugh at the boy as he plays. Toby and Cait, that’s what they were called. The problem is, I could never remember their faces. Tonight was no different.
Both of their faces were blurs. I could hear their voices, even if they echoed as if far away, but their faces always evaded me. No matter how hard I tried to recall them, I could never see them; the memory warm but painful at the same time.
I jolted awake, fresh tears wetting my cheeks. I dragged a hand across my face and blew out a shuddering breath.
‘Hey, are you okay?’
I looked over to see Diego, his eyes trained on me. ‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘Bad dreams, that’s all.’
He chuckled to himself. ‘The whole world’s a bad dream. You’d think your mind might give you a rest.’
I stood up and straightened out my coat. ‘Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you?’ I arched my back, my muscles complaining about the night spent on the hard wooden pews. ‘Still thinking of heading north?’
Diego shrugged. ‘Where else have we got to go?’
I glanced at Jessica, still fast asleep. May as well let her get her rest. I turned back to Diego. ‘I’ll go take a look at the route, make sure there aren’t any nasty surprises waiting for us. Look after the girl until I get back.’
‘Sure thing,’ Diego said. ‘Let me give you a hand with the door.’
The fresh morning air was bitingly cold against my exposed skin. I squinted at the same dull light that greeted me every morning, my eyes adjusting from the darkness of the church. I took a moment to get my bearings, working out the direction from which we came yesterday and the route we’d need to take today.
Small clusters of woodland were split apart by open fields, snow whitewashing their features. No doubt they used to be farm fields; the neat hedgerows and segregated squares of earth giving away their agricultural origins.
If there were to be anyone hiding either from us, or to ambush us, the woodlands would be the areas of choice. I noted a number of areas to scout and set out.
Last night’s crisp snow crunched under my boots as I wandered from woodland to field. The wooded areas were surprisingly bare, with little sign of any life; human or animal. Not much chance of catching some fresh food here. Still, sometimes it was better to have found nothing than something.
I took the time to watch the surrounding areas, looking out for any signs of movement. A small flock of birds made an appearance, their small forms darting erratically against the snow-heavy clouds. I lost myself for a moment, watching the flock ebb and flow across the sky. It was these little details I had learned to appreciate, a small tie to the old world.
The birds left, and I realised I had been sat there for longer than I had anticipated. I clambered to my feet and brushed the snow from my clothes, bringing my coat in close around me to combat the chill air.
I made my way back towards the church, trudging through the snow. My old tracks had already been almost covered, just the ghosts of their outlines visible to an eye which knows what to look for.
I came to the edge of one of the fields, a high and thorny hedgerow blocking my view. I quickly located the dilapidated wooden style I had initially clambered over and stood atop of it to ensure I was keeping to the correct direction.
There were two bodies moving around the outside of the church. I told those two to look after her, not fuck around outside. I jumped down the other side and picked up my pace, crossing the few remaining fields with ease.
With each field I lost sight of Felix and Diego, only regaining a view on them with every style I stood upon. The closer I got, the odder their behaviour seemed. They were keeping low to the ground, skirting around the edge of the church as if frightened of something. I crossed the last hedgerow to find they were gone.
I cursed under my breath. I had trusted those two with Jessica, letting her get some rest while I made sure the journey ahead was safe, but it turned out that perhaps Jessica and I were unsafe already. You broke a rule, I told myself, you broke a rule and now that girl might pay the price.
I found myself at the side door to the church once more. I reached inside my coat and retrieved my shotgun, slowly drawing it out. The door was slightly ajar. I kept my ear close to it, listening for any little thing which might give me an advantage.
There were voices talking, but what they were saying was indistinct. I heard Diego’s voice, his tone recognisable, but it was fraught as if speaking under strain. The other voice was not one I recognised.
I quietly crossed the threshold and pulled the door to behind me. I paused, letting my eyes get used to the semi-darkness once more. I crept towards the altar, pressing myself close to the wall. The voices were louder now, more distinct.
Diego was speaking, his voice sounding as if he was on the verge of tears. ‘I swear, it’s just us, just the two of us.’
Two of us? Where the fuck is Jessica?
‘Lies!’ the other voice spat. ‘We’ve watched you. We’ve seen you. Don’t think that we’re going to let any of you go without seeing the Father. You must be judged, just as your families were judged!’
I peered around the corner. In amongst the pews, next to where the lantern was sat on the table, two men stood over Felix and Diego. Felix was on his knees, grasped by his hair by one of the men, a knife pressed tight against his throat. His eyes watered, his chest heaving with panicked breaths.
Diego was luckier. He was at least allowed to stand, but his worried eyes darted between his friend and the large man stood in front of him.
I glanced around the room, looking for any sign of Jessica. The pews which had been used as her bed had been shifted, moved out of the way to create some space in the room once more. As my eyes became accustomed to the darkness, I caught more features of the two strange men.
Their clothes were no different to those of any of the living in this world, but it wasn’t that which caught my attention. Their faces were wrought with burns, deep scar tissue plastering their exposed skin. The one who talked to Diego had patchy hair, his scalp burned away in places.
Diego looked towards Felix again. ‘Please,’ he said. ‘We’ve done nothing wrong.’
‘That’s not for us to judge,’ the man with the haphazard hair said. ‘It’s not for any man to judge. The Children of Ash are simply the hand which guides.’ He gave a nod to the other man, who wrenched Felix’s head back and brought the blade across his throat with renewed force. ‘Now, where are the others, or your friend here is going to the dust.’
Tears ran freely down Diego’s face, cutting a line through the dust and dirt. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to tell you any-’
‘I’m here!’
My heart fell into the pit of my stomach as I heard her voice. I watched as she stepped from behind a pew she must have crawled under and walked towards the men. You stupid girl. You stupid, stupid girl.
‘Ah,’ the one man said. ‘Finally. That’s one of them.’ He beckoned to Jessica. ‘Come here, young one, your friends need you.’
Jessica wandered through the pews and towards the group in the middle. I could see from where I was that she shook with fear, but she still forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you.
I toyed with the shotgun in my hands, my mind racing to formulate some kind of plan. There were two of them and more of us. If I could get either Diego or Felix free, it seemed believable to think that we could overpower them.
I braced the shotgun tight into my shoulder, psyching myself up for the inevitable violence. Jessica stepped closer to the man, now within arms reach. She came into the light of the lamp, revealing herself in full.
The man stepped back, taken aback by something. His arm darted back into his side, and he crouched to bow his head quickly. ‘By th
e Ash, it’s the Daughter! The Daughter of Flame!’
The man who had grasped Felix so strongly loosened his grip, letting the blade fall away from Felix’s throat. He leaned round to get a better look, then shrank back like his friend. ‘It is, it really is.’
‘The Father will be pleased,’ the patchy-haired one said, a strange smile coming to his lips. ‘And to think she travels with such weak company.’ He turned to Jessica. ‘You deserve much better than this.’ He flicked his head to one side and spat at Diego.
‘Leave them alone!’ Jessica said. ‘They haven’t done anything wrong.’
‘But they have,’ the large man replied. ‘They have tried to take you away from us, to take you further from the Father.’ His glare turned to Felix, still kneeling. ‘They must face the Father for what they have done.’
The other man had regained his composure after seeing Jessica. He swiftly grasped Felix by his hair and yanked him to his feet. Felix yelped in pain.
I’d seen enough. I stepped out from beside the altar, shotgun aimed squarely at the larger man. ‘Let them go,’ I said, taking steady steps towards him.
The smaller man’s eyes widened at the sight of my gun, the larger one was less impressed; in fact, he laughed. ‘I’ve had guns aimed at me before,’ he said. ‘All of them were toys or duds. I think I’ll take my chances here.’ A wide grin spread over his lips as he made his way towards me.
I pulled the trigger. The sound almost deafened me, the noise ringing in my ears as it bounced off of the stone walls. The large man fell backwards and crashed into a wooden pew, his face a twisted mess of bone and meat. A few final and gurgling breaths escaped his lungs. I aimed the shotgun at the smaller man and held his glare. His lip quivered. Somewhere, in the background, Jessica screamed.
The man still clutched Felix, although his thoughts were fixed on the two barrels pointed at him.
‘Let him go,’ I said.
The man reluctantly let go of Felix, his retreating hand visibly shaking. His gaze drifted between myself and his blood-splattered friend. His face paled.