I swallowed hard. “This movie might be set in the nineteen thirties, but we’re not living there anymore. It was almost a century ago. The studios can’t pair us up anymore.”
“This isn’t the studio,” Ursula said sweetly. “This is me blackmailing you.”
I laughed at her. “With what, exactly?”
“With Ariel’s continued participation on this film, obviously.”
I paused. “What? Are you serious?”
She smiled. “You like her, don’t you? Wouldn’t it be a shame if she were fired?”
“On what grounds?”
She shrugged. “That I don’t like her face? That she irritates me? That would be enough, because the studio would support my decision. That’s all that matters.”
The idea that Ursula would have her rival fired was petty, disgusting, and entirely within her character.
“Ursula, be reasonable.”
“I am reasonable. You won’t speak to her. You won’t go to her cute little karaoke bar. You won’t kiss her. You won’t dance with her. She’s dead to you from here on out. She’s invisible. Got it?”
I frowned. “Ursula. This is irrational. She’s a human being.”
“It’s actually perfectly rational, you just don’t like it,” she insisted. I got the feeling that this was the first genuine conversation I’d ever had with Ursula, and it wasn’t going well at all. Even when we were being totally honest with one another, we were no closer to finding common ground.
“It doesn’t seem rational or reasonable to me. It seems like a childish attempt to hurt someone who’s done nothing to you. You’re better than that.”
“You want to see what unreasonable looks like? Try me.”
“There’s no way we could even attempt to pretend to like one another after this.”
She shook her head at me. “Brush up on your acting skills, I guess. But I don’t care what happens between us in private. Truth be told, you’re not exactly my cup of tea either. However, this is Hollywood. Appearances are reality here, and so you and I are going to make a beautiful, picture perfect couple until this movie comes out. Understand?”
“You’re actually serious about this, aren’t you?” I shook my head at her. “This is ridiculous. Using Ariel as a pawn to manipulate me is revolting.”
“Maybe. But the studio likes the idea. And Meg Butler loved the idea of being a step ahead of the rest of the press for a few weeks. Unless you’ve got something better to offer the bloodthirsty paparazzi, some other pound of flesh, then I suggest you think about my plan.”
“Blackmailing your costar isn’t exactly professional behavior,” I told Ursula, attempting to appeal to some semblance of professionalism. “Word will get out eventually.”
She shrugged. “Maybe so. But some of the biggest stars in Hollywood are some of the least professional. Your brother denounced all of Hollywood as he received the Oscar for best actor. Your uncle almost freakin’ murdered somebody. Your family isn’t exactly batting a thousand in this department, so maybe get off your high horse.”
I took a deep breath before my temper could get out of hand. I needed to evaluate my options. It’s not like Ariel wanted me. I’d been too weird, too cagey, too full of half-truths. The least I could do now was to avoid wrecking her career. Ursula and Meg had me cornered. There was nothing I could do.
“Fine,” I told Ursula. “I’ll play your game. But only because I want to protect Ariel from you.”
“She’s probably not the little doe-eyed innocent you think she is,” Ursula told me. “She’s out for herself the same way we all are. I’m probably doing you a favor. For all you know, she’s the one that called Meg last night.”
I shook my head at Ursula. “I barely even know the woman.”
“Great,” she replied. “Then you won’t mind not knowing her, will you?” She winked at me. “I’ll send over the details of our media schedule for the next couple of weeks. My publicist will work with yours, naturally. Oh, and don’t forget, if anybody asks you, I’m your new girlfriend and you adore me.”
I couldn’t even come up with a snappy comeback. This was the worst-case scenario.
18
Derek
A week of rehearsals passed by, and every day was longer than the last. But it wasn’t the grueling dance routines or the complicated songs. It wasn’t the long hours. It wasn’t even Ursula’s increasingly rude, possessive, and aggressive behavior toward me. All that was manageable. It was Ariel.
Or rather, the lack of Ariel. I avoided her. She avoided me. Sometimes we exchanged long, tense, silent looks across the room. It was torturous.
I thought that my feelings for her would dull and fade if I didn’t speak to or interact with her, but they didn’t. In fact, the opposite seemed to be true. If someone tells you not to think about elephants, what do you immediately picture? Elephants. Instantly. It was like that with Ariel. I wasn’t supposed to be wanting her. As a result, she soon became the only thing I wanted. I dreamed about her. I woke up every morning wondering about her.
Was she dating someone? Was she thinking about me? What was going through her head when we stared at each other?
I wanted to kill it, but my infatuation with her was only getting worse. Like a fever, it was heating up and driving me to distraction.
My deal with Ursula was meant to protect Ariel, but it felt more and more like a prison for me. I knew I wasn’t in love with Ariel. We’d only just met. But I was interested in her and she was so close. Except that she wasn’t really. She might be physically near me, but she’d never been more out of reach.
One evening I stayed late at the rehearsal space, working on lines by myself. I may not be a perfectionist on the same level as my brother Holden—his need for control was nearly pathological—but I hated to fall short at anything. That meant time got away from me sometimes. It’s not like I could run lines with Ursula, I could barely stomach being in the same room with her. When I finally snapped out of my work, I found that hours had gone by. It was dark outside, and there wasn’t a soul in sight.
I was heading out when I heard the rehearsal track playing in one of the dance studios. I followed the sound out of curiosity. Ariel was rehearsing alone.
She moved like quicksilver, darting and moving across the floor with an effortless, easy grace. She was facing the mirror at the front of the room and her face was serene and happy. She’d taken her hair down and it streamed behind her like a pennant.
Ariel was so incredibly beautiful. So free. She reminded me of something otherworldly. A magical creature, possessed of infinite poise, flexibility, energy, and grace. And she was obviously lost in the moment. She was part of the music.
That is, until she caught sight of me watching her in the mirror.
The music went on, filling the room with sound, but Ariel froze in an instant. She stumbled to a halt and her pale skin flushed pink. Her eyes locked onto mine in the reflection and grew huge and round. We stared at one another for a long, silent moment.
“Hi,” I said eventually. It felt like an inadequate thing to say but continuing to stare awkwardly at her couldn’t be better.
She blinked at me. “Hi.” Her voice was soft and hesitant. The way she was looking at me made me think she wanted to talk to me, too.
“You’re here late,” I managed. I felt like I’d overstepped and intruded on her private moment. I shouldn’t have come in here. But now that I was here, and we were alone, I wanted to talk to her. Just… talk to her. I’d been so curious about her for so long.
She nibbled on her lower lip nervously. “So are you.”
Her eyes crawled up and down my body in a way that made me exposed and transparent. I supposed I deserved it from the way I’d been ogling her.
“What were you doing?” I asked.
She cocked her head to the side. “Dancing. Practicing for tomorrow. What did it look like I was doing? Underwater basket weaving?”
I smirked at her. She was quick and sa
rcastic. I happened to like quick, sarcastic women.
“It looked like dancing,” I admitted, smiling and feeling a bit foolish. Why’d she always have to rob me of my ability to be charming? I was usually so good at it. “Do you stay late every day?” I asked.
“No,” she said after a moment. She looked around herself in confusion. “What time is it?”
Good question. I checked my watch. “Eight.”
Her mouth dropped open in surprise. “I must have lost track of time. Sometimes I get carried away…” she trailed off, looking sheepish.
“I did the same thing,” I replied.
“I’m going to be late,” she said, rushing toward the door. She was either very late or in a big hurry to be away from me.
“Sebastian’s?” I guessed. I’m sure working two jobs was exhausting. Ariel must have unlimited energy.
She shrugged at me. “That’s where I work,” she said. “When I don’t work here, that is.” Her voice was soft. “I really better go.”
“How are you liking the movie business?” I asked her. “Are you enjoying it?”
Ariel paused and stared. “It’s not like I expected.” She smirked. “So far it’s been a lot more like dance class.”
“It’ll get more interesting soon,” I promised her. “Once my brother Holden gets here and starts ordering us all around.”
“Are his orders more interesting than Mia’s orders?” Ariel asked.
“They’re different.”
“Oh?” she cocked an eyebrow at me. “Do tell.”
“I mean, sure,” I explained. “They’re different. Both my brother and Mia are bossy, impetuous, and exacting. They both love having their way. They both love having everyone else dance to their little tune. In Mia’s case, she loves it literally. But Holden is… taller. He can’t dance worth a damn. He also usually has a camera with him. And lights. And an attitude.”
“You really know how to talk him up. Your brother sounds delightful.” She rolled her big, blue eyes.
I grinned at her. “Well, he’s alright, but he’s not as great as me, that’s for sure.”
“I’m sure he isn’t,” she said softly, although I’d only been joking. Still, it lifted my spirits to think that she still liked me, at least a little bit. “I really can’t wait.” Her smile was genuine but not lasting.
“About the other night--” I ventured, but she cut me off with a shake of her head.
She frowned. “It’s fine,” she said. “We don’t need to rehash it.”
“I was just going to say that I’m sorry.”
Ariel’s lips parted in surprise. “Don’t worry about it.” Her expression had shifted and she now looked worried. “Just forget about it. Look, I need to go. I really am late.”
I wanted to go on talking to her, but I knew better. I also wanted to tell her that I was still frustrated that I hadn’t kissed her. But I wasn’t supposed to be in here talking to her. I was meant to be pretending to be in love with Ursula. I made a deal to protect Ariel, and in order to do that, I was going to have to avoid her.
I nodded, not sure what to say. “Have a nice evening,” I blurted. I knew I wouldn’t. I’d spend the rest of it thinking about her, that was for sure.
“See you around,” Ariel replied, grabbing her bag and rushing past me. She looked back over her shoulder at me like she was relieved that I wasn’t pushing the topic. I couldn’t do anything but let her go.
19
Ariel
The picture of Derek and me almost kissing didn’t end up on the internet. I looked on Meg Butler’s blog for the next few days, and all the other nasty gossip sites, too. I was waiting for the photo to drop and something to happen, but it never did. Whatever Derek gave Meg must have been enough. I guess I should’ve felt better. But I didn’t. If anything, I felt worse because I was lonely.
Over the next week and a half, work became a stalemate of repressed feelings and longing looks on my part. Derek barely looked at me at all, and I tried not to read into it. But at least the grueling workload kept me partially distracted. After a few days of being the world’s most obedient chorus girl, I clawed my way back to group one. During the evenings I recorded Ursula’s vocals in a studio or worked at Sebastian’s. I kept my head down, but I kept my chin up. And I avoided the hell out of Derek when I saw him around.
The situation was made more complicated by the fact that I now had to dance to my own voice singing duets with Derek while Ursula lip synced her way through the parts. It was my voice that sounded so good with his. Mine. But I couldn’t tell anyone. Meanwhile, everybody fawned all over Ursula about her incredible singing voice and how talented she was. She soaked it all up like sponge. Even Derek seemed impressed, and I think that’s what grated on me most of all.
And for all my careful efforts to avoid feelings for Derek, they kept growing. Every time I saw him, my heart panged. My breathing sped up. My knees felt weak. The man was my kryptonite and no matter how much I told myself that I wasn’t falling for him, the truth was that I’d fallen for him a long time before I ever met him. I’d fallen in love with him sometime around sophomore year of high school and it had only ever gotten worse. Working near, but not next to him was a special kind of torture.
And it wasn’t the only type of torture I was subject to, either. As I’d been avoiding any social interaction at rehearsals, Ursula had been busy making friends with a few select members of the chorus and making sure those favorites of hers got special treatment. Ursula had a few numbers with the full chorus, so she was rehearsing with us more and more, and the choreographer listened to her feedback. It was getting harder and harder for me to keep my position in group one with her constant meddling.
And the girls had been getting nastier. I’d been learning that the best way to be professional was to replace ‘fuck you’ with ‘okay great.’ I was getting pretty good at it, but it was hell on my patience.
“Where should we go tonight?” Jess asked Ursula one afternoon. Ursula was holding court with her group of special favorites as usual. I was obviously not one of her favorites, but I did happen to be in close proximity at the moment. I tried to remain out of earshot as much as I could—my strategy was to make Ursula forget I existed for a while—but I couldn’t avoid overhearing them this time. “Are we still on for drinks?”
“Oh, I’m going to have to take a raincheck. I’ve got a hot date with Derek tonight,” Ursula said, looking over at me to make sure I heard it. “We’re going to a costume party. He’s going to be Batman to my Catwoman. I’ve got my leather body suit all ready and laid out in my trailer.”
I swallowed hard. I shouldn’t have been surprised or hurt, after all, I’d been the one to insist that Derek and I be ‘just friends,’ but it still felt crappy. I bet Ursula looked damn good in a Catwoman costume. She had a much sexier body than me, rounded and womanly where I was delicate and girlish. I could easily pass for a sixteen or seventeen-year-old with no makeup and the right clothes. I got carded constantly when I tried to buy alcohol. Ursula had the body of Jessica Rabbit.
“Oh, how exciting,” Jess swooned. “You two are such a beautiful couple.”
“He’s so dreamy,” Flo added. They were such a bunch of sycophants. “It’s so sweet the way you two are in love for real. How are things going?”
“Amazing,” Ursula replied. Then her voice dropped to a near-whisper. “He stayed over last night.”
My body reacted all on its own. Without any conscious thought, I abruptly got up and starting walking, deciding the bathroom was the best destination when I realized I had none. I was going to puke if I had to listen to any more of this. Just as the door swung closed, and I was able to take a clean breath, it opened again. It was Flo.
“Are you alright?” she asked. “You look a little pale.”
“Yeah. Fine.” I prayed she’d go away.
I really wasn’t in the mood to be taunted by Flo, who at this point I just considered an extension of Ursula. Ursula had compl
etely won. She was dating Derek. I saw the stupid pictures on the internet. Ursula and Derek were out there every night, hanging all over each other. He looked happy enough about it.
I’d been right to be wary of him. He was, after all, known for his committed bachelor lifestyle. The idea that it could be me of all people that could tempt him into something resembling a relationship was laughable.
“You danced really well today,” Flo said, primping in the mirror. She wasn’t using the bathroom, which made me think she was just in here to talk to me. “I was impressed. It’s no wonder you got that solo.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, shocked I managed to get anything with Ursula undermining me. “You too.”
“It’s too bad you’re going through the men on set so quickly,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m sure you feel terrible about that now.”
“What?”
“Your dates,” she clarified. “I heard you’ve been making the rounds. Apparently, you even tried to seduce Derek Prince.”
“I didn’t try to seduce anyone. Where did you hear that?”
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what he’s telling people.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Oh,” she said, condescendingly. “Didn’t you know? According to Ursula, Derek told everyone that you came on to him and he turned you down. So instead, you’ve turned your attention to every other man on set. You’re quite the topic of conversation. I heard some people talking about you at lunch.”
The Little Barmaid Page 9