by Cee, DW
“It won’t be easy, Melody.”
“I’ll be here to help you, Ben. I’m always here for you.”
“Thanks Melody. At least one Montgomery sister likes me.”
“Shall we go see your grandparents, Alice?” I walked into my daughter’s room filled with the new toys that Grandma Jackie had brought with her.
“Is it dinner time already?” Jackie asked as she handed Ali to me and started cleaning up.
“It is. Mom called to say dinner will be ready in ten.”
“Goodness. I completely lost track of time. Let me clean up here. We created a mess.”
“Not that I mind, but you’re spoiling our little princess. She’s not going to understand why her daddy won’t buy her all the things Grandma buys her.”
“Good. That’s how I want it. I want to be one of the top five people she adores.”
“I’ve no doubt about that, Grandma Jackie.”
Marni left as soon as Jackie arrived and she’d been MIA since this morning. I thought it was rude of her not to even call to say whether she was joining us for dinner. With her fiancé in tow, they were off doing whatever it was that they were doing, but a call would have been nice. I had no idea whether she was coming home tonight. I wanted to ask Jackie but decided to keep mum.
“Is my Ali here to visit Grandma?” Ali jumped at her paternal grandmother’s greeting. “How are you my love?” Mom hugged and kissed her as if she hadn’t seen her in a month. According to Marni, both grandparents walked over daily, or Marni walked her to them.
“Give your grandfather some love, too.” Dad fought Mom for a chance to hold his grandchild. “You’ve grown again. At this rate, you’ll be six feet tall by the time you’re three.” Ali laughed—most likely not at his joke.
“Let’s sit,” Grandma Shea led us to the backyard. “Benjamin just finished grilling halibut and shrimps. It appears we have a fish and seafood lover in our little baby.”
“She must take after her Auntie Mar,” I commented. “Those are Mar’s two favorite items to eat.”
“You remembered.” I didn’t know why Jackie was so surprised.
“I did practically live with her the first eighteen years of our lives. I took notice of a few things.”
“I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“Give me a little credit, Jackie. Mar and I dated a very long time.”
Jackie hesitated then added, “It’s just that it was long ago, and you were young. Those were some good days, huh?”
Once Dad placed Alice in her high chair and Mom broke up her food into bite-sized pieces, they both joined this conversation.
“Benjamin, do you remember that one time we caught Ben and Marni making out in our backyard against the wall? I don’t know who they thought they were fooling.”
Dad laughed while I was embarrassed. Though that happened back in high school, it still made me red in the face to think about getting caught by my parents. “That was nothing. I caught them necking in the car, with the garage door shut, in hundred-degree weather. They were both drenched in sweat.”
Everyone joined in the laughter, even my daughter.
“You think that’s bad,” Jackie decided to recount her story; “I caught Ben trying to sneak into Marni’s bedroom one night.”
“No!” Both Mom and Dad feigned shock and horror. “Not our son!”
“One of the times he came down to San Diego with Marni for the weekend, I heard footsteps late at night. Of course, I thought it was a burglar. There was no way it could be our Boy Scout over here.” The snickering continued. “I scared the hell out of all of us when I bumped into lover boy in only his boxers.” The laughter only got louder. The three grandparents were behaving like raucous teenagers at my expense.
“OK! Enough with the stroll down memory lane. Why don’t we focus on your only grandchild?”
Mom ignored me and decided to focus on Marni’s wedding. “When and where is the wedding?”
“Next Saturday in New York if you can believe.” Jackie had the sense to think this wedding date was outrageous like I did.
“Why so soon?” Mom asked the same question I asked.
“It came down to when Noah’s father would be back in the States and I guess next weekend was it. Can you attend?” Jackie faced me while posing this question. “It would mean the world to Marni to have you all there. You’re like family to her. I know it would devastate her if Ali couldn’t make it.” Now she was laying the guilt.
“Shea and I are free next weekend. We love Marni and we love New York. Sounds good to us.”
“Ben?” My mom looked at me.
“I don’t understand why this wedding needs to be rushed. Mar never told me it was going to be in New York. In fact, aside from the date, she hasn’t told me anything about her wedding. Why all the secrecy?”
Once again, I was ignored. “Shea and I always thought our son would marry Marni. Not that we didn’t love Melody, but we believed Marni was Ben’s soul mate. I guess we were wrong, huh?” Dad asked no one in particular.
“I’m sad we’re losing her again,” Mom added her two cents. “Though I miss our dear daughter-in-law, I thought maybe this was Ben’s second chance with his once-love.”
“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit far, Mom and Dad? Mar and I were high school sweethearts. It pretty much ended there. Not too many teenage couples make it beyond high school.”
“I understand. We just wish you would have acted sooner. Noah beat you to it. You’ve lost out on a fantastic girl, again.” Mom emphasized that last word.
“Mar and I are not like that and you all know it. It’s been years since we’ve seen each other as anything but family. You know Mel just died. I haven’t thought of another woman. I can’t possibly think of another woman.”
Dad answered with, “Son. You didn’t die with her. We’re all sad Melody is no longer with us. She was a wonderful wife, daughter-in-law, and mother to our little Alice. However, you need to move on. Alice needs a mother. Marni cannot substitute as her mother until she goes off to college.”
Why not? I wanted to ask. I didn’t want to remarry. I wanted to live just the three of us until my little girl married. If it wasn’t for that damn Noah Bergstrom, we would have lived that ideal life.
Dad was bringing up all kinds of dilemmas I didn’t want to ponder.
“Can we please take this one day at a time? I still can’t get over Mar getting married in a week. It only gets worse when I think about Mar having her own kids. Maybe she won’t want to have any children.” I spoke with annoyance. That would be fantastic, was what I wanted to add in the end.
“Oh, she’ll have more kids, Ben.” Jackie never put a veneer on anything. Everything was raw and open. “Noah can’t wait to have kids. They’re not getting any younger. They need to start reproducing right away.”
Damn, again! Where did that leave my little girl? “I have to trust that Auntie Mar will not forget her only niece. Their bond is as strong as mother and child.”
“So you’re now fine with Ali calling her ‘Mama?’” As soon as the word was spoken, Ali looked around for her “Mama” and started calling out for her. When there was no answer, the sad pout began.
“Mamaaaa!” A few sniffles turned into an all-out wail.
“Come here my precious girl.” I tried to pick up my messy daughter but she wanted nothing of me. She pushed me away and asked for her “Mama.”
“Will you come to Grandma Jackie?” Alice refused her adopted grandmother.
“How about your only grandpa?” She shook her entire body no.
“How about we call Auntie Mar and see what she’s up to? Maybe if you hear her voice, you’ll be pacified?” Mom suggested.
The three grandparents couldn’t stand to see Ali cry. Jackie took out her phone and called immediately.
“Has Ali always been this attached to Marni?” Dad asked.
“This happened when we were in New York. She discovered the word �
�Mama” and since then, Ali behaves as if there’s no one on earth but Mar. Their bond is incredible,” I answered.
There was a knowing smile on both my parents’ faces. I had no clue why they were happy with this turn of events. Personally, it was a pain in the ass. If Marni married, had kids of her own, and left my little girl, we were all in deep shit.
“Here you go, Ali. Here’s Marni.”
Jackie placed the phone on Ali’s ear and my little girl took over from there. She grabbed the phone and wailed, “Mama!”
Chapter 4 - Noah
Lessons Learned ~Carrie Underwood
“I love our new home!”
“Um, this isn’t exactly our home, Siena. We’re living in your parents’ penthouse. We couldn’t afford this on my salary.”
“It doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed. Daddy says we can live here as long as we like.”
“Let’s get our own place, Siena. I don’t like feeling dependent upon your parents and I don’t like being a visitor in my own home. No matter how small, let’s build our own life.”
“You worry too much, Noah. My parents are hardly in New York. Dad is everywhere and Mom is usually in Italy. This apartment goes empty most of the year. What a waste to spend money on an apartment in Manhattan when there’s a free apartment waiting for us. You’re always talking about watching our finances. Doesn’t this make better financial sense?”
“There’s really no fighting you, is there? You have all the answers, don’t you, Wife?”
“I sure do, Husband. Should we stop talking about what belongs to whom and start acting more like newlyweds? We need to have as much sex as possible before they ship you off to Timbuktu.”
“That makes good sense to me. Lead the way, Wife.”
“What’s the matter Ali-Girl? Why the tears?” Marni was getting more and more distraught as Ali’s tears wouldn’t abate. “I’ll be home soon, Ali. Can you stop crying until I get there?”
Toward the end of dinner, Marni received a call from her mother. Neither of us thought much of it until we heard the wailing on the other end. There appeared to be no way to console Alice.
“I’ll get the check,” I whispered and started the process of getting Marni home.
“Mom. Noah and I are minutes from home. Oh, you are? We’ll head over there.” Marni hung up and explained that we were heading to Ben’s parents’ house.
We rushed over and found that Ali hadn’t stopped crying. It actually got worse the moment she spotted Marni. Ali frantically waved her arms and hopped off her bottom. She practically flailed her body into Mar’s.
“What’s going on, Baby-Girl? Why the tears? Was Grandma mean to you?” Marni joked. “It couldn’t have been Grandpa Ben who was mean to you.”
“It definitely wasn’t me who put her to tears. I believe it was her father who started the waterfall.”
“Gee, thanks, Dad.”
Marni didn’t notice that Ali still had a dirty bib on and that her entire body smelled like fish. She pulled the baby from the highchair and into her body. They were so close to one another, it was hard to tell where Marni began and where Ali ended.
The crying eventually died, though the hiccups continued. “Are you feeling all right?” Marni placed her hand on Ali’s forehead as a precaution. “You don’t feel warm. Did she drink enough liquids today? Could she be dehydrated?” Marni asked Ben and Jackie.
“She drank and ate well. I don’t know where the tears came from. Maybe she missed you,” Ben answered. It bothered me that Marni and Ben had this permanent connection. They sounded too natural—like a young married couple attempting to figure out their only child. Though I was the one to marry this woman, the man standing next to her, already vested in her life, was not me. Ben had a hold on Marni I could never compete against. I was the only outsider here and I hated it.
“Jackie, will you be staying up here this weekend?” I needed to get the hell out of here. The longer I stayed the angrier I became.
“Oh, Noah. Let me introduce you to Benjamin and Shea.” I said my hellos just as quickly as I said my good-byes to everyone. My fiancée looked startled by my actions.
“Can you give me a few minutes to grab my stuff from Ben’s house?”
“Of course, I’ll wait for you in the car.” I told Jackie. “I’ll call you soon,” was all I said to Marni before leaving the house.
“Noah.” Marni chased after me with Ali in tow. “What’s wrong? You don’t have to leave already, do you? It’s only seven.”
“What would I do if I didn’t leave now? Would I hang out with you here? Or how about at Ben’s house? I’m sure I’d be welcomed there.” The angry reply wasn’t necessary, but couldn’t be helped.
“I thought you were OK with all this. What happened in the course of the last two minutes?”
“You. Ben. Ali. His parents. Your mother. Everyone here has a place but me. I’m supposed to be your husband next week but I feel like a stranger in your world. That’s what’s happened in the course of two minutes. Once we’re married, I won’t be that stranger—a nobody—in your life. You’re going to have to make some choices, Marni.”
I left my fiancée in a state of utter defeat—for her and for me.
Jackie and I didn’t say much during the two-hour car ride.
I had more soul searching to do while Marni and I were apart.
Chapter 4 - Marni
Lessons Learned ~Carrie Underwood
“Hello, again!”
“Noah. How’d you find me here? What are you doing in my office?”
“I told you we’d meet again. I’ll keep doing this until you let me apologize.”
“Noah…I told you I didn’t need an apology. You moved on a long time ago and I moved on not long after you. This entire meeting is unnecessary. Does your wife know of your insistence to make nice with me?”
“Siena and I divorced almost as quickly as we married.”
“Oh…”
“I’m happy to know you’ve been keeping tabs on me. How’d you know I married?”
“Everyone at school who knew felt the need to tell me. It wasn’t exactly top secret.”
“Sorry.”
“I accept. Now, I need to get back to work. I have a meeting in a few minutes.”
“Dinner. Tonight. 7:30 at the Thai place next door to your office building. I’ll be waiting—tonight and every night until you show.”
“Noah…”
“Bye, Marni. Have a good day and see you at dinner.”
“What the hell was that with your fiancé?”
I didn’t know whether to snap at Ben or to just laugh it off. Every time I thought life was honky-dory, there was a curve ball thrown my way.
“Shall we go home, Ali-Girl?” I chose to ignore Ben’s remark.
“How about some homemade ice cream, first?” Shea asked. Ali appeared reticent, but I could also see that the grandparents were worried about her well-being. To pacify them, we joined them for dessert.
“You want some strawberry ice cream, Baby?”
Ali shook her head no. She was off somehow but I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. I cradled her in my arms and gave her small bites of Shea’s delicious creation. Ali was content to stay close to me.
“Ben, could you take a look at my desktop? It’s frozen; it won’t even turn off.”
“Sure.” He got up from his seat and gave his daughter a kiss she wasn’t happy to receive. “What’s that all about, Alice? Not cool to give your father a disgruntled look.”
Her pout reappeared at Ben’s admonition. “Just go,” I shooed him away. “You’re all right, Ali-Girl. Just stay right here, OK?” I held her closer to me as she shoved her face into my chest. No one had bothered to clean up this girl who apparently had fish for dinner. We both smelled like her meal.
“How’s the wedding planning going?”
“According to Noah’s mom, it’s going beautifully. She’s doing most of the work. I only need to take
care of my dress, Mom’s dress, and to set up home here.”
“What will happen with Ali once you’re married?” I heard the concern in Ben’s father’s voice. “Do you need us to start helping out?”
“Maybe when Noah and I are on our honeymoon? Otherwise, nothing much changes. I’ll be with Ali during the day and leave once Ali is settled at night. She’ll hardly notice I’m gone.”
“Benjamin and I always believed you’d be our daughter-in-law,” Shea lamented. “I guess we lost out on our chance again, huh?” She asked no one in particular.
They had always been wonderful to me. So many years later, their feelings for me hadn’t changed. For that, I was grateful.
“It wasn’t in the cards for us to be anything more than in-laws.” I spoke with a regretful smile. For years I thought I’d have Shea and Benjamin as my parents. Losing them was almost as hard as losing Ben.
“Are you happy with Noah?” Shea asked carefully. “Has he accepted Ali in your life?”
What could I say?
“We don’t mean to pry, Marni. It’s just that Shea and I hoped you and Ben might find one another again. We loved Melody but she’s no longer with us. With you, Ben, and Ali already a family, we assumed it was only a matter of days before you fell in love and made everything official.”
I was ashamed to admit that there were a few weak moments where I did think Ben, Ali and I would make an ideal family. Those moments usually came after struggles with Noah or after sweet moments with Ben. Those thoughts were always followed by shame, grief, and guilt toward my late sister. What kind of person was I to covet my dead sister’s husband?
“You know Ben and I could never work—not with Melody between us.”
“Sure you could. It’s not like they separated. She’s no longer with us and both of you have to move on with life.” Shea never understood the complex relationship the three of us had after my sister and Ben began dating. I stayed away all those years because I didn’t want to deal with my sister.