Perfect Harmony

by Cee, DW

  Then, the more adult side of me was outright confused. There was guilt for having mixed-feelings about a woman who was my sister-in-law. There was fear that I was losing my daughter to her mother. There was plenty of inner turmoil on where to take our new “relationship.” Should I have agreed with my parents and rejoiced that Ali’s mother was alive? What would I tell my daughter when she was old enough to ask about the woman in her baby pictures who was no longer with us? How did I explain who Marni was to those who met me after Melody’s passing? My life was too damn confusing.

  In simple Marni fashion she answered, “Can’t we just go back to doing what we do best?—being friends? I don’t need a husband. I’m not asking you to take care of me because I’m Ali’s biological mother. You won’t ever have to face me in court for child support or child custody issues. We started as friends when life wasn’t so complicated. Couldn’t we revert to the only thing that makes sense?”

  Friendship. What an obvious answer, convoluted by circumstances around us. I should have jumped for joy at such an easy solution. Somehow, I wasn’t convinced. All I could say was, “I’ll try.”

  Chapter 13 - Noah

  Compromise ~Joe

  “So how did the date go?”

  “Fantastic, Mom. We stayed at the bar the entire night, talking.”

  “That well? I’m surprised Marni agreed to stay that long. I thought you said she wouldn’t give you the time of day.”

  “She didn’t. I tricked her into staying with me.”

  “And how, may I ask, did you do that?”

  “Simple. I convinced her to have one drink with me and that one drink for me happened to be a gallon jug of water. I sipped it the entire night.”

  “That’s hilarious, Noah. Glad to know the Bergstrom charm is still working.”

  “That’s not all. We’re moving!”

  “What? What do you mean you’re moving? Moving where?”

  “Marni told me she’s moving to San Diego for her job. I decided to apply for a job out there so we can be together.”

  “But Noah, you just got a promotion here in New York. I thought you were going to work in Europe again with your father. That would keep you on track to work under the next President or two. What happened to your dreams?”

  “Dad’s the one who told me to forgo career dreams if they interfered with personal dreams. He will never forgive himself for losing you, Mom. As happy as I am for you and Carson, I wish Dad would have realized his errors, sooner. Then, he wouldn’t be so unhappy.”

  “Trust me. He’d be even unhappier if he gave up his job. Elijah Bergstrom lives for the limelight. He’s addicted to the fame. He can’t give it up for a mere mortal.”

  “But I can, Mom. I don’t need fame. I don’t want fame. I don’t know what I’d do with fame. All I want is a good woman to love and a gaggle of kids.”

  “What if Marni isn’t that woman?”

  “She might not be, but I’d like to find out this time without messing it up. I’ve worked hard enough. It’s time for me to think about the real future.”

  “I take it you’ve already made up your mind? There’s nothing I can say to convince you otherwise?”

  “Yep. Sorry, Mom. I’ve already talked to Dad. He’s lined up a job for me in San Diego. I have to try one more time. Will you and Carson support my decision?”

  “Do we have a choice? I wish you well, Noah. Call me often and visit, please.”

  “Will do, Mom.”

  “Hello, Mother.”

  “That is a totally disrespectful way to greet your mother.”

  “What else am I to say when I pick up your call? Good-bye, Mother?”

  Mom couldn’t help but giggle. “It’s not what you said, but how you said it.”

  “Cecily Hanover. You are reading too much into two words. How about if I ask you how you’re doing?”

  “I am well, Son. Worried and well.”

  “I assume that’s why you’re calling?”

  “It is. What have you decided to do?”

  “Can I let you know after I’ve talked to Marni? I just drove up to her new house.”

  I could hear her relief all the way from Manhattan. “Tell her your father, Carson, and I say hello. Please be nice to her, Noah. Don’t hurt her.”

  “I’ll try not to, Mother.” This time, the sarcasm was obvious.

  After talking to all three parents, I decided the way I ended with the woman whom I asked to be my wife, was cruel. The last image I had of my once-fiancée was a teary-eyed woman lugging boxes into her car. I was an asshole. She needed an apology, I needed an explanation, and we both needed closure.

  Before I decided to leave on another long Navy trip with my father, I had to see Marni one last time.

  “Noah.” Marni almost whispered when she saw me get out of the car. She and Ali were headed out.

  “Hi!” Ali waved and smiled at me.

  “Hello, Ali.” I messed up her already-crazy hair. She had a big mop of red hair just like her…mother. Staring at her now, she was a replica of Marni. “I didn’t know you could say words. What else can you say?”

  To plunge that knife in deeper, Ali proudly announced, “Mama!” and held her mama’s hand. The two were lovely together. In all the years I’d known Marni, I never understood this motherly side of her. Watching her with her daughter, I saw why she left me to come care for her.

  “What brings you by?” Marni asked cautiously.

  “Are you both off somewhere? Am I stopping you from an appointment?”

  Ali pointed south and called her “Mama” to attention. “We were headed to the beach to ride on the swings. Did you need something?”

  “I hate that I’ve put you on the defensive, Marni. I’m here to talk, if you’re willing to talk to someone who so rudely kicked you out of our home.”

  That’s when she blinked furiously to keep the tears away. She swallowed, she sniffled, and she wiped the falling tears. At this juncture, a hug probably wasn’t appropriate, but damn propriety. I stepped in and embraced her.

  “I’m sorry.” I apologized over and over again. “I was an asshole. I was so cut up inside, so angry, I didn’t know how else to behave.”

  “Mama?” Ali questioned with a pout. Quickly, Marni wiped away her tears and replaced them with a big smile.

  “I’m all right, Ali-Girl. Let’s go to the beach and swing.”

  Her daughter stood and watched her intently. Only when she believed her mother was truly happy, did she smile herself and start walking.

  “May I join you ladies?”

  “Sure.”

  “I see you’ve set up house already? Is Jackie here full time now?”

  “She is, but she’s on vacation with Ben’s parents. They’re on a cruise to Alaska.”

  “Does Ali live with you now? I can’t imagine Ben allowing that.” I spoke to her like an old friend. In order to get everything in the open, I knew I’d have to find a common ground with her.

  “Ben’s on a business trip to New York. He involuntarily chose me as Ali’s caretaker.” I understood her laugh. “It took much cajoling to earn this windfall. I’m taking full advantage of my time with her.”

  “I see you are enjoying motherhood. Is this all worth giving up everyone else in your life?”

  She picked up her daughter when we reached the end of the street and kissed her on the cheek a few times. Ali loved it and kissed her back.

  “To be honest, I didn’t believe I had to give up everyone else to have Ali. But if that’s what it takes, then yes. I choose my daughter over anyone. And before you think it, let me clarify that this has nothing to do with Ben being Ali’s father. That fact only makes my life more difficult. I can honestly tell you that Ben is struggling over his late wife having lied to him as much as you are about me having lied to you. No one is happy with this revelation. If anyone came out a small winner, I suppose it was me. I now can openly love my daughter, though I lost a fiancé.”

  “Seeing
you with your daughter makes me think you have no regrets about not marrying me. In fact, you look extremely happy.”

  “The choice to marry or not to marry wasn’t mine, Noah. You proposed marriage. You took away marriage. You held all the power.”

  “What if I proposed marriage again? What would you say to that?”

  She didn’t bat an eye when she told me, “I don’t ever want to love another man again. It hurts too much, Noah. I want to love my daughter and do a stellar job as her mother. My mother and I don’t appear to have much luck in the husband department. Lucky for us, we each have a daughter we can’t live without. That’s enough for me, Noah.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you again, Marni.”

  “I know, Noah. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, either. I won’t apologize for what I did for my sister and Ben, but I do apologize for making you and your family go through this circus. I can’t imagine how disappointed your parents are with me. Please apologize to them for me. I tried to when I called them about the house, but they were too kind to place the blame on me. I take all responsibility for your hurt, Noah. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to take it away from you.”

  “You can start by telling me you forgive me for walking out on you on our wedding day.”

  A sad smile donned my ex-fiancée’s face. “You had every right to walk out on me. I understood and agreed with every one of your accusations. That’s why I didn’t fight you when you told me you wanted to be rid of me.”

  The tears were visible again. Her pain wasn’t much different from mine. My heart ached right along with hers.

  “Ali-Girl.” She called her daughter who stopped immediately. “Let me carry you across the street.” Like a dutiful daughter, she ran back to her mother’s arms and jumped onto her like a monkey.

  She looked at me and practiced her “Hi” a few more times. I could see why my parents were taken with Ali from the onset. She was adorable—very much like the mother holding her.

  “What will you do now, Marni?”

  She blew out a big breath and answered, “Quit school, be financially independent so I can support my daughter and mother, and enjoy being a mother.” She flicked away a few more tears and asked me the same question. “What are your plans, Noah?”

  “I was thinking I might give this Navy career a go again—at least that’s what I thought until I came up to see you.”

  “Don’t, Noah.” Her warning was loud and clear. “It’s too early to say that I won’t ever fall in love again—but that’s last on my priority list. I understand now why Mom never remarried. This pain is too much to bear again. I’m glad we tried one last time. It just wasn’t meant to be for us. I wish you well.”

  Now that Marni was refusing me, I couldn’t stand it. My heart and mind did the damnedest things to me. Just a few weeks ago, I believed I hated Marni Montgomery. Talking to her now made me wonder why I’d ever think I didn’t love her. Why the hell was life so difficult?

  “I’m going to DC in a few days to meet with Dad. May I visit again?” Marni hesitated. My heart did the happy dance at her indecision. I wasn’t out of her life for good, just yet. “I’m not asking for marriage. To be honest, I don’t know what the hell I want from you or from us. What I know is that this isn’t how I want us to end.” Since Marni wasn’t answering, I decided to talk to Ali instead. “I’ll be back soon, OK? Can you say good-bye, Ali?”

  She waved farewell as I walked away.

  Today wasn’t an end. I couldn’t call it a new beginning. It was somewhere in between—some sort of an unspoken compromise.

  Chapter 13 - Marni

  Compromise ~Joe

  “Marni. You’re home. Does this mean you’re back for good?”

  “I think so, Noah. I’m unsure.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Melody and Jean told me to leave. I wasn’t ready to give up Ali just yet, but I wasn’t given a choice.”

  “What happened?”

  “Melody felt threatened and her mother thought I was the problem and the solution. They gave me no alternative but to leave Ali immediately.”

  “After all you’ve done for them, they just kicked you out?”

  “Basically.”

  “They’ve always been self-centered bitches. I’m sorry that happened, but I’m glad you’re home.”

  “I’m worried for Ali, Noah. She’s never taken a bottle before. She still needs me.”

  “You’re not her mother, Marni. You have to let her go.”

  “Whether or not they want it, I’m going to pump and send them milk. That little girl will starve.”

  “Maybe it was a good idea that they asked you to leave, Marni. I think you’re too vested in a baby who belongs to your sister and her husband.”

  “You don’t understand, Noah.”

  “Maybe not completely, but I know what you need. Let me help you with your suitcase. Why don’t you go rest? I’ll take care of your belongings and get dinner going for us.”

  “I miss her, Noah.”

  “I know you do, Marni. Little Ali misses you too.”

  “Ali. Shall we FaceTime with your daddy? There’s a missed call here, and I know he’s anxious to talk to you.”

  She had no clue what I was saying. The only part of this one-sided conversation she understood was “daddy” and the fact that the iPad was out. She knew some form of entertainment was about to happen. My daughter nodded her head profusely to let me know she was all for anything on the iPad.

  I worked magic for Ali and suddenly her “Dada” appeared, almost life-sized.

  “Hello Sweetheart!” Ben greeted her effusively.

  “Dada!” Ali’s gigantic smile warmed my heart. She kept looking back and forth between me and her father on the screen wondering what the hell was happening. How had her father magically appeared and on one of her favorite toys? Life was one giant mystery to my little girl.

  “I miss you, Ali. What have you been doing?”

  I supposed this was where I jumped in and explained our day. “All morning, we stayed home, read, and played with Grandma Jackie’s wooden puzzles. Then after lunch, we went to the beach and spent time on the play equipment.”

  “Did you go on the swing, Beautiful Girl?”

  Her head bobbed up and down again. Then, in a move that would bring Ben home faster than humanly possible, Ali lifted the iPad and kissed her father on the lips. Her slobber eventually covered Ben’s chin and neck too as Ali went in for a few more kisses. Once that message was sent, she lost interest in her father and pulled out a puzzle instead.

  “Ali?” Ben called. I stood the iPad at her eye level, but she was no longer interested. “I love you, Sweetheart. I’ll be home soon.”

  I gave it a few more seconds before I apologized. “Sorry. She’s been obsessed with the Little Mermaid wooden puzzle all morning. Your rating has fallen below the red-headed mermaid.”

  “Women. Too fickle,” Ben grunted. “How is she doing? Has she asked for me?”

  With my brother-in-law, it was always about him. I wasn’t about to let him know that was what I was thinking, though.

  “She talked about you a few times when she first woke up, but like I said, she’s obsessed with Little Mermaid. If you’re thinking of bringing her back a present, I say stop by the Disney Store. Maybe Little Mermaid pajamas?”

  “That’s a great idea. I’m about to head out to dinner. I’ll have to ask where I can buy Disney products for my daughter.”

  “Don’t go crazy and buy too many presents, Ben. Who knows how long this phase will last?”

  “How was your day?” I almost turned around to see if he was addressing someone behind me. Was Ben Howard actually asking about me?

  “It was uneventful until Noah stopped by.”

  “Noah?” Ben asked, surprised.

  “Yeah. I had no idea he’d check in with me. I thought we were done for good.”

  “I guess I never asked you what exactly happened bet
ween you two. It was rude of me to ignore your pain.”

  I had no idea who this man was, talking about my feelings. “You could say Noah ended the engagement the day Ali got ill, and confirmed his thoughts when I went to see him in San Diego. He had boxed up all my belongings and told me he wanted no more reminders of me.”

  I’d forgotten that we were FaceTime video calling. The tears that formed were visible to anyone on the receiving end of this conversation.

  “If that was the case, why’d the asshole show up today?”

  “He came to tell me he was sorry.”

  “A little too late for that, don’t you think? You didn’t accept his apology, did you? You should have kicked his ass to the curb and told him to get back on a ship and sail the hell away.”

  “I told him no such thing, Benjamin.” I laughed at his vehemence. “Accepting Noah’s apology is part of closure for the both of us.”

  “So it’s done? You’re a free woman?” he kidded, I think.

  “I thought I was.”

  “Now what?” Ben was all kinds of animated today. It was good to have my friend back. This distance was a good thing for us.

  “Noah was throwing out hypotheticals—us not being over, us trying again—crazy words.”

  “What an idiot. I told you he wasn’t the man for you.”

  “I’ve come to believe there’s no man out there for me, Ben. I’m content knowing Mom and Ali love me. I will live for them.”

  “Don’t say that. You’ve only been in two serious relationships, three if you count that moron twice. You’ll get married one day.”

  I scoffed, “Yeah, I’ll get married when you get remarried.”

  “Not happening in my corner.”

  “Neither for me.” I added.

  “Mama!” Ali yelled and started banging on her puzzle piece.

  “Despot Ali is calling. She’s hungry, tired, and pissed that Ursula won’t fit into Ariel’s mold. This girl obviously has no concept of a blob versus a figure eight. If I don’t help her soon, she’s going to start pulling a Hulk on me and throwing every puzzle over.”