Nothing Remotely Familiar (My Crazy Alien Romance Book 5)

by Donna McDonald

  “What kind of magic can build a house from nothing?”

  “The not cheap kind, I’m sure. If we decided to expand our family, I may have to ask Stark for a raise. He might even give me one if he thinks we’re merely buying a pet.”

  “Hush,” Rime ordered as she grabbed her smirking lover’s arm and dragged him along.

  Chapter Seventeen

  In the twenty minutes it took their group to walk back to the house, thirty summoned witches had transported ahead and were already there waiting for them.

  Moonie was at the front of the group, smiling in approval at the number who’d volunteered to help. Lacey and Nonny flanked both her sides. They each had taken half the gathering and were discussing building plans.

  Moonie lifted a hand and smiled when Topper glared. “We decided this would be better than throwing you another baby shower. We figured you needed a bigger house more than another set of baby bibs or a bunch of too smart diapers, especially the way your kids tend to grow.”

  “Can’t I have time to think about this first?” Topper asked.

  “You’ve been thinking about this since you married Stark Naked. It’s time to do something about it. We’re going to carpe diem this shit.”

  Topper looked at her cute house and sighed. “It was once the perfect size.”

  “And it will be again. Keep back people,” Moonie advised, waving a hand to get the aliens to retreat a bit. “We will push out the most on the other side of the house, but this will still rearrange everything on this side. On the slight chance that it doesn’t work, the house might cave in.”

  “Moonie…”

  “I’m kidding.” Moonie said as limped closer to Topper. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “You take care of everyone else all the time. Let us take care of you for once. People need to show their gratitude for all you do and you need to let them.”

  Topper sighed and nodded. “Okay. I am grateful. I just don’t want you to overextend yourself for me.”

  “Oh, I don’t intend to,” Moonie said. “I will direct the expansion since I’m the one who talks to houses best. The others will provide the real power. Afterwards, you’ll have to set your wards again. They can’t be saved.”

  “Fine,” Topper said, giving in as gracefully as she could. “How big is the house willing to go?”

  “Bigger than I ever imagined. It showed me four more bedrooms and a strange room that reminded me of a man cave. There was some enormous deal about it having its own air conditioning. The existing kitchen will grow by a third. We will add a large dining room off of that which should seat at least a dozen people… or six to eight aliens… whoever you want to feed.” Moonie motioned to the aliens. “Seems like you have a lot more company these days than you used to have.”

  Topper nodded again. “That’s true. All you suggested sounds fine.”

  “Of course, it sounds fine. You picked a splendid house. It loves you. Any other requests?” Moonie asked.

  “Will it have a woman cave as well?”

  Moonie snickered. “They call them she-sheds these days and they’re usually outside the house. Want one of those too?”

  “No. Never mind. I’ll settle for a bigger summer porch with windows that block the New Mexico sun. And maybe a larger master bath with a gigantic tub.”

  “That can be arranged,” Moonie said. “Go stand by your husband. This should be done in a few minutes. In case you’re wondering why Evanna’s not in the house raising group, it’s because she’s gathering up breakfast. Your little sister said she’d deliver it as soon as we’re done here.”

  Topper sighed. “Thank you, Moonie—for everything.”

  “You’ve been through a lot in the last few years. Lean on us a little, Topper. You don’t always have to be the town’s only savior, you know.”

  “Sure. I think I’ll just go hold my son now. He still needs me.”

  “Berg sure is a cutie,” Moonie said with a grin. “Boy looks just like Stark Naked, but he has your red hair. You and Stark make the prettiest kids. You should have a few more before you hit a hundred.”

  “No. No more babies. Two is more than enough,” Topper said firmly as she walked away.

  Resig leaned toward Nia. “What are they planning to do?” he asked in a whisper.

  Nia leaned close to Resig to whisper back. She tried not to take his scent in, but his spicy scent wafted to her. It made her want to step closer to him. He always smelled so delicious to her. “I heard Jessica tell Priestess Rime that the witches were going to make the house bigger.”

  “How?” Resig asked, truly surprised by the news.

  Nia shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. I think they plan to use their magic.”

  “But I don’t understand how they intend to build an expansion without materials or workers.”

  Nia lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “I have accepted there are many things on this planet that defy both logic and intergalactic physics. I suggest you set your mind to accept that truth as well. Acceptance helps me to avoid the headaches from questions with no answer.”

  Stark shifted within the group until he stood just in front of her and Resig. The giant animal moved with him.

  “Abba dabba,” Berg said with glee, leaning down to peer at the obedient kreela sitting by his father’s feet.

  Nia chuckled at the boy’s delight and reached out to gently push him upright in his father’s arms. Stark was distracted by all the witches and what they planned to do.

  “Be careful, Berg. You don’t want to fall,” she told him.

  “Pfttt…” Berg answered with his tongue noise, but straightened to watch what was going on again.

  Resig studied the smile lighting Nia’s face as she looked at the child. “You like all the chaos of children, don’t you?”

  Nia considered what Resig was asking her. She suspected the question was much bigger than his words. “It is better to say it doesn’t bother me. I greatly enjoy the General’s children.”

  “Do you enjoy Earth?”

  And that would be his genuine question. Nia dipped her head and smiled before answering. “The Earth is a fascinating place, but Glacier is my home. I would prefer to raise my children there. I will stay a bit longer on Earth, but my intention is still to return.”

  Resig decided not to ask Nia who she intended to father the future children she’d obviously decided to have. He wasn’t sure he was ready to hear her answer… or to claim his right to be the one who sired them.

  His attention was wrestled from his thoughts when the ground shook around them. Nia grabbed his arm, so he moved closer. His mind could scarcely take in what he was seeing. The house stretched in every direction like it was alive. Then just as quickly as it expanded, it contracted and settled back into being a silent abode again.

  Was it bigger now? From the angle of his view, it was hard to tell.

  “Done. You can go in now,” he heard the witch with the walking aid yell at them.

  He watched Topper head toward the house to inspect what had happened. Nia turned to look at him. Her face was almost pressed against his own.

  “Everyone says Topper’s power is bigger than the power of all the other witches combined.”

  “Incredible,” Resig said, wishing he could kiss the lips so close to his own.

  “Mama,” he heard Berg call out urgently, prompting Stark to follow his mate.

  The rest of them looked at each other, shrugged at the fantastical events, and then followed their hosts inside.

  Nothing seemed to be missing, but they had moved almost everything. Nia searched the recent addition for her things. While meager, they were all the clothes she had on the planet and she didn’t want to borrow more from Rime. Finally, she found her borrowed clothing in one of the new bedrooms at the far end of the now spacious abode.

  The bed in her unfamiliar room was large and draped with the softest of coverings. There were lights on small tables and a comfortable chair. It was quite an upgrade
to her former space on what Topper called the summer porch.

  “This is a very pleasant room,” Resig observed from the doorway.

  Nia turned to look at him. “I’m sure you would be welcome to stay in one of the unused rooms. If you’re staying, that is…”

  Resig lifted a shoulder. “I have to stay until they decide about the kreela. I promised Icela’s warrior.”

  “Her warrior came to see you?”

  Resig nodded. “The Goddess sent him to me.”

  “For what purpose?”

  Resig studied Nia’s face. “May I answer your query at a more appropriate time?”

  Nia bowed her head in agreement to his request. She suspected an appropriate time would never come. “I should see about helping prepare the space for the meal. I try to make myself useful to my hosts.”

  “Of course,” Resig said. He backed up into the hallway to let Nia pass by him. “It pleases me to see you again. I missed you after you left.”

  “It’s only been a short while.”

  “It felt like a lifetime,” Resig said.

  Nia studied the floor. There was no reason not to be honest. “I missed you too, Resig.”

  They stood in the hallway, both avoiding each other’s eyes.

  Resig ended the strange silence by clearing his throat. “I didn’t mean to detain you. I’ll follow you back to our hosts if you don’t mind.”

  Nia didn’t answer. Instead, she turned and walked the strange new hallway back toward what she hoped was still the food area. She should be more shocked than she was by the magic that had created these amazing changes in her host’s abode, but Resig’s unexpected appearance was all the strangeness her mind could handle.

  Chapter Eighteen

  From the glares he’d received during inspection that morning, he’d been expecting them to show up with some plan. Resig’s explanation to his troops about Icela’s warrior assuming temporary command had not been questioned—or at least not by most of the warriors under Resig’s command.

  However, the anger of the two in the hallway filled the air the moment they arrived. Fully aware of that destiny was being played out, he remained in Resig’s office and pretended not to hear their harsh whispering of encouragement to each other to confront him.

  Or at least, he’d tried to pretend.

  That level of falseness was no longer possible for him. The immortality granted to him by his Goddess and mate had taught him much about the natures of Glacieran males over the years. Patience, he would freely admit to anyone, was still not one of his finer qualities. Truth-seeking was regardless of what it took to get to the heart of the matter.

  Goddess Icela would be quite pleased with how he was handling the situation with the warriors, which is all that really mattered to him.

  “Enter,” he commanded loudly and fought back a grin as he watched them jump apart. Why did so few warriors listen to their inner emotional guidance? Guilt owned the souls of these two, and yet they pushed the emotion off as if it were not an actual warning.

  Hiding his knowledge of what they planned, he lifted a hand and motioned for them to come into the room. Glaring first at each other and then at him, the two plotters eased through Resig’s office door. He didn’t bother to offer them a seat. Instead, he let them stand—adding his own layer of discomfort.

  “Greetings, Ancient One,” both males said.

  “Greetings, young warriors. What can I do to aid you today?” he asked.

  “We wish to talk to General Resig—in person.”

  Wondering if his all-knowing goddess mate had taken the time to tune in to this confrontation, he lifted both his broad shoulders and held out his hands. “As you can see, your commander is not here.”

  “When will the commander return?” one warrior demanded.

  “I suspect he will return when he is ready to do so.”

  The second male glared before motioning to himself and his comrade. “We saw you send General Resig and that… beast… into a travel portal.”

  He lifted an eyebrow at the statement and returned their glare. Did they really think he had not known they were watching what happened? “Fine. I can confirm that your vision did not fail you.”

  “So you openly admit to aiding General Resig in his treachery?” the second warrior demanded.

  “Treachery?” he repeated the word, chuckling at the term. “Treachery is a rather harsh pronouncement. Why would you describe your commander’s absence in such a manner? Not that your commander owes you any explanation about his actions… but I will share that your commander left because he needed to leave. Does knowing that ease your concerns?”

  The first narrowed his gaze. “Do the directors know Resig abandoned his command and left a stranger in charge of Glacier’s largest military in his absence?”

  He leaned on the desk and stared at his provokers. “I am the oldest warrior living on Glacier, so I am hardly a stranger to this level of command. The Goddess and I know exactly where General Resig has gone. You, though, do not need to know.”

  “You are wrong,” the second one exclaimed loudly. He pointed at his companion and then back to himself. “We also know where our absent commander has gone. If you don’t do what we ask, we will make sure the directors find out where he’s gone as well.”

  He leaned back in Resig’s comfortable desk chair and smiled with no humor. “Blackmail is a very interesting tactic for you to use with me. Are you hoping to eliminate me as an obstacle to whatever plans you’ve been making?”

  The two males looked at each other and laughed. When they turned to answer, the first one spoke again. “We were trained to eliminate threats. Are you a threat, Ancient One?”

  “Sometimes—when I am properly motivated,” he told them truthfully. He didn’t change his expression even when both men laughed. “Why does General Resig’s destination matter so much to you?”

  “It matters for the reason we’ve already stated. We wish to see General Resig—in person—as soon as possible. You can either make that happen for us or deal with the directors once we report what we know. The choice is your own.”

  He grunted at the threat, but did not get angry. What would be the point? Wiping the two miscreants from the face of Glacier was not a proper response. Icela had painfully explained her need to try to save them. They were damn lucky he served their goddess without questioning her mercy.

  “I must say this… your negotiation skills remind me of General Artic’s. He also demanded to follow General Stark through a portal and our Goddess granted his desire. However, I also heard his journey did not go as planned. Perhaps you two might want to re-think your strategy and to whom you have given your loyalty.”

  “General Artic left Glacier to stop a traitor, one who continues to betray our planet. We have no proof that our leader is even dead. Artic’s death could be just a lie Stark told so they would move General Resig into command. Resig is an Earth sympathizer. There is corruption everywhere on Glacier.”

  “On that point, we are in agreement,” he said as he stared hard at them. “General Artic was a forceful leader whose military reach seems to have remained active in his absence. I’m curious. Are there more of you—more who wish Artic was still in command?”

  Both males snorted. “None who aren’t either dead or who haven’t cowardly abandoned their training,” the first answered.

  He pushed back in Resig’s office chair and lifted his dusty boots to the top of the pristine desk. He’d clean it later, but for now his actions irritated his visitors, who frowned at his disrespect.

  “I, too, heard many rumors concerning the situation. Of course, none of that actually concerns me. My concerns are greater than the disagreements among warriors who should know better. I’ve been overseeing the protection of our planet for a very long time. One commander is usually as good as another so long as the male in charge is worthy.”

  The second male stared at him. “Our goal is to establish that worthiness for ourselves.”<
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  “Interesting,” he stated, bowing his head in a single nod. “I suppose every soldier reaches a point in his life where he must follow his destiny to its inevitable end, just as General Resig is following his now.”

  The first warrior cleared his throat, “So, Ancient One, will you help us follow ours?”

  He lifted an eyebrow at the question. “If you’re committed to your cause, why would I deny you the chance to follow your destiny?”

  “We will say nothing of your aid to us when we return after our task,” the first warrior rushed to promise.

  “Nothing,” the second warrior repeated to show he was also in agreement.

  “Fine. Let head into the cold then,” he said to the two warriors as he stood. “I can only open portals to Earth outside.”

  He stopped almost immediately as they exited the building and stared down at the two men. “Powerful creatures protect Earth. And the powerful are protected by higher beings. I would advise you to remain stealthy.”

  “Have you ever been to Earth?”

  “No, but as Glacier’s oldest warrior, I have studied it much. Personally, I would not even attempt your journey. Conditions on Earth appear to be quite challenging to Glacierans. Did you hear that a Star Ranger crashed his craft on Earth and was stranded for over a hundred of their years? He was just recently discovered.”

  “Tragic,” the first warrior answered as they both nodded at the warning. “But what is service without glory, Ancient One? We are ready to leave this world when you are ready to send us. We embrace this quest for justice.”

  Sighing in frustration—because he could see there was little chance of their redemption—he moved into a space where no footprint had yet marred the snow and ice. He held out his hand, spoke the power words Icela had granted him, and created a small oval of swirling silver before he turned his attention back to his blackmailers.