"Oh, wow."
"Then Mum introduced me to her new man. After she'd married him. And it was Ivy's Dad. Suddenly, I had more people that were supposed to be part of my family, including a brand new sister I never wanted. It wasn't the best time."
"Which is why you lived with your Dad?" I ask, my heart breaking for him.
"How do you even know that?"
"Everyone knows that. It's why you were late coming to Grimalkin."
"Oh. I didn't realise that." He shifts in the computer chair.
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it. I just figured that he already knows what people are saying.
"Even though I know my parents are better off without each other, a little part of me still blames Ivy's Dad for their divorce. And she's not exactly the most pleasant person to live with."
"But if you're Dad's struggling..."
He shakes his head. "That's not why. It's nothing to do with losing Mum and everything to do with the fact she managed to hoodwink him. He's a proud man. And a military one. Being left for another man is the height of dishonour among his friends."
Ah. I can see how that's a problem.
"I'm sorry, Caspian, I didn't know." I want to reach out and touch his hand, but I'm not sure if he wants that too. Or if I can bend the right way with two kittens on my lap.
"You don't need to be sorry. I'm just trying to explain why I didn't tell you about Ivy. It's not because I wanted to keep it a secret from you. It's more that I don't want to have to remember she's part of my life."
"Why are you telling me now?" I ask. I get where he's coming from on everything apart from the timing. He could have said all of this to me outside the library. Or even when I'd first found out about Ivy. So why now?
"I was coming to tell you the other day. But when I overheard you with Ryan..."
"He's just a friend," I insist while trying to push thoughts I've had of more to the back of my mind. Caspian and I have a good thing going. Well, had. But we can have a good thing going again if we try, I'm certain of it.
"We both know that's not the truth."
"I'm not lying." I frown, trying to work out what he's heard and from who. I've never been on a date with Ryan. Or done anything couply with him, unless you count tutoring him for potions, but I doubt that counts.
"I saw the way you looked at him. And the way he looked at you. That wasn't friend chemistry I saw."
I open my mouth to deny it, but he shakes his head.
"Please, just hear me out."
"Okay..." I'm a little confused by where he's going, but if he has a point, then I'm happy to wait until he gets there.
I think.
"Wow, this is harder to say than I thought it would be."
"Can I do anything to help?" I want to fidget again, but stick with fussing Rhubarb. That's one good thing about the kittens, they definitely help keep my hands busy while having awkward conversations.
"No. I don't think so."
I nod and wait for him to carry on.
"I don't need you to be exclusive to me."
My jaw drops, and my eyes blink rapidly. Did he just say what I thought he just said?
"Say that again, please." Otherwise, I may not believe him.
He sighs. "I mean that if you want to date Ryan too, then that's okay. And Mr Smith, if you want. Why was he in your room?"
"He's helping me with the kitten conjuring," I say absentmindedly. That's hardly the issue at hand here.
"Well, what I'm saying is, I'd like to date you too."
"Wow. Okay. Erm, I'm not sure what to say to that." I pause for a moment, trying to process what he's said in a way that makes sense to me.
Unsurprisingly, I'm coming up blank. This is the last thing I expect him to have said, and it reminds me a bit of Daphne's suggestion earlier in the week. But I'm not sure I'm ready to explore what that means for me yet, especially if it means he'll be seeing other women.
"I can tell what you're thinking," he observes. "And I don't want to date anyone else."
"But...isn't that a double standard?" The words are out before I can fully think about what they mean. I'm tempted to say yes to what he's proposing. And nowhere in my response is there a no.
"I suppose that depends on how we both view it. But I want you to think about it, Mona. I've never felt this way about anyone else. And when I see Ryan or Mr Smith look at you, it's the same way I feel."
I frown, not making any sense of that. "You're probably going to want to stop calling him Mr Smith at some point."
"Is that the only thing you can think of saying?" He chuckles.
"It's the only real thing I can process right now," I admit.
"Alright. Promise me you'll think about it?" he asks.
"Promise me you'll call him Thomas and not Mr Smith next time?" I throw back.
"I will." Caspian gets to his feet and leans in to kiss me on the cheek.
I close my eyes, savouring the contact between the two of us. I've missed him more than I want to admit, and I'm glad we've had a chance to talk, even if it's ended in more confusion for me.
"Thank you for telling me about what's wrong," I whisper.
"You're welcome. I don't want us to become my parents."
"You think we'll last that long?" I avoid questioning the fact that in his mind, we're together. I like the idea far too much to want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing.
"Longer," he responds.
"I hope you're right." But a part of me is scared that it's still early days, and a lot can still go wrong. Hopefully, it won't and we'll be able to have the relationship I want with him.
Chapter Eight
I scribble myself a note to look into something called the siren curse later. I'm not sure it's relevant to my project, but this is the third book that's mentioned it, and I'm starting to think it may be a real thing. Apparently, none of the old sailors who wrote these diaries and books thought to include what they meant when they talked about it. Which is stupid. Especially when I need to find out more for the project Thomas set me.
This is going to be harder than I think.
"Is this the one you're looking for?" the librarian asks, dropping a big book down beside me.
"I think so, thank you." I give her my best smile, trying not to let the fact I've not even seen the title of the book shine through. How am I supposed to know that it's the right one if I can't read it?
"You can't take this one out of the library," she warns me.
"That's okay. I'll research it here. Thank you."
She turns her nose up, which is odd. I'd have thought a librarian would like the fact that students are using her library for what they're supposed to. Clearly, I'm wrong.
Luckily, she leaves me alone, and I turn back to doing what I came here to do. Research sirens.
I open the book and end up coughing like crazy. The thing is so full of dust that it's ridiculous. But that's a good thing in some ways. If no one's read it in the past few years, then it should make my project stand out. If I can find what I want in here.
The pages are yellow with age, and the penmanship leaves a lot to be desired, but I persevere.
An intricate drawing of a woman sat on a rock catches my attention. This must be it, the page about sirens. The handwriting is even smaller than on the other pages, which is just annoying. But I know that if I can make it out, this will include knowledge that will prove useful. I want to do well at this project. With my magic still not on top form, my theory lessons and exams are going to be more important than ever.
"Looking at anything interesting?" Caspian asks.
I jump, not having expected him to come up behind me. I haven't seen or talked to him since the conversation in my room, but I'm glad he feels like we can spend time together now.
"Just researching for my project."
"That looks very dull," he observes, pulling out the chair next to me and sitting down.
"I haven't started yet." But I am already wondering if there
's a modern translation of this book. That might make my life easier.
"I don't envy you." He sets his tablet down and pulls out a notebook to join it.
"You shouldn't. But I'm determined and am going to get the best mark in the class."
"Isn't that inevitable when you're dating the teacher?" he jokes.
I blink a few times, trying to come up with a retort that doesn't sound terrible. "I'm not dating him," I whisper hastily. "And he's not the teacher, either."
"Keep telling yourself that, Mona." He winks.
I huff instead of replying. If he's going to tease me, then he doesn't deserve coherent responses.
"Remind me of the topic you're doing again?" I can tell from the tone of his voice that he wants to smooth things over a little, and I'm more than willing to let him.
"Sirens."
"Oh."
Hmm. That's not promising.
"You're looking in all the wrong places," he tells me.
"I am?" How am I to know any of that, though? It's not like I've been told where to even begin looking for siren related stuff.
"Yes. All you'll find in books like this is superstitious human lore," he tells me. "Pass me your tablet?"
I do, confused about so much of this conversation. My number one question being why he knows so much about sirens to begin with. But I'm too dazed to ask that one out loud and pass him my tablet just like he wants me to.
He types in a couple of things, an intent look on his face. "This is the book you want." He turns it back around and I see a cartoonish woman standing in front of the sea.
"Are you sure?" It doesn't look like there'll be anything important in it. Something about the cover reminds me of a kids' book.
"Positive. I've seen a siren with one of these."
"You've seen a siren?" My mouth hangs open. I may not know much about them yet, but even I know they're elusive and not many living people have set eyes on them.
"Two. Kind of. Trust me, it will make sense once you read." He looks like he wants to say more, but instead of voicing it, he goes back to his own research.
I shake my head. Why are guys so confusing? It's taking all my brainpower to keep up with him and the others and all the things they want. Life is so much simpler single.
When it doesn't seem like Caspian is going to say anything else, I turn my attention to the book he's brought up for me. At least if it is for kids, it won't take long to read. And anything is good if it means I can put off starting the massive tome in front of me. There may only be a couple of pages on sirens, but it'll take me several hours to decipher it all. What I need is some kind of sirens for dummies, like the simplified Shakespeare they gave us to study in school.
I swipe through the pages on my tablet in quick succession, drawn in by the story they're telling. I can't explain the writing style. It's somewhere between a how to guide, a non-fiction book, and a fairy tale. And it's fascinating. I want to talk to Caspian about it and find out what he thinks about some of it, but I don't want to interrupt him. He's bent over his notepad scribbling down something that I assume is notes for his own project.
Instead of interrupting him, I read on.
How to recognise another siren.
You may not always notice another siren straight away. But if you're around them for a significant amount of time, you'll find yourself drawn to watch them. Particularly the way they walk. You might also notice that their words have a musical note to them, even if they're not saying things that are pleasant to hear.
Hmm. Is that relevant to my project? It's certainly interesting. But only if I think there's a siren around me. Is there something Caspian is trying to tell me something about himself? Or about someone else? I'll have to think about that one. But I'll certainly be keeping more of an eye out on the people around me, particularly those who also know him.
Chapter Nine
"When were you going to tell me about these?" Daphne asks, tapping the top of the books Thomas left in my room.
I should get him to come pick them up. But that'll probably involve an awkward conversation about Caspian, and I don't think I'm ready for that.
"I should start locking my door," I mutter to myself. I dump my bag on the desk and take a seat on my bed. It's good to pretend I have no other choice than to end up there, instead of pretending like I'm going to sit in the desk chair Daphne is occupying.
Daphne scoffs. "Like that will stop me. I'll magic it open and get in to play with the kittens anyway."
"Then I'll take the consequences of putting some kind of charm over the door frame," I throw back. "Then you won't be able to."
"Is that a challenge, Mona Black, because I'll accept it." There's a sparkle of mischief in her eyes that allows me to relax.
"If you want a challenge, then I'm sure we can find one."
"Like working out why you have books about black magic in your room?"
"Shh." I glance around, worried about who might overhear us.
Luckily, the only thing of note is Isla sticking her nose out from under the bed, trying to be sneaky as she eyes up the toy mouse Romeo is trying to give to Ginger. Which is nothing new.
"Sorry, books about you-know-what."
"Thomas left them here," I admit.
"Are these the ones you found the stuff about the Unleashing in?" She's leafing through the books before I can even say anything. I chuckle, and turn my attention to the kittens again. Daphne will entertain herself and probably discover even more than Thomas and I have just by reading through them. It's one of her talents.
I should probably get ready for my date with Caspian. He'll be coming to pick me up in about ten minutes, and I doubt I can get away with sorry-I'm-researching-black-magic excuse without having to explain a few things. I'm glad he's agreed to a date with me again, even if he is under the impression he's sharing me with Ryan and Thomas. No one seems to have given a thought to how I feel about that particular situation.
Isla creeps out from under the bed, flat on her belly as she crawls towards the other two kittens, her eyes fixated on the mouse. I don't think she's even realised I'm watching. Or that I'm not the only one. Seth has perked up from the pile of blankets he's surrounded himself with to see what's going on.
The only beings in the whole room who are oblivious to Isla's adventures are Romeo and Ginger, who are still purring and preening over the toy between them. Lovesick kittens are the funniest to watch, Rhubarb is just as bad around Aspen.
I glance over at Daphne, checking she's still happily digging into Thomas' books and doesn't need me for anything. I don't think she even notices me looking.
Isla has crept even further forward, and is now level with Romeo's tail. If she's not careful, he's going to flick it and her cover will be blown. I'd help, but then I'll lose my entertainment.
She darts forward, her tiny multi-coloured paws clamping around the tail of the mouse and pulling it towards her. Romeo let's out a hiss, but doesn't do anything to try and get it back. He's just being a little scaredy kitten.
Despite myself, I let out a small giggle. They're fun to watch. It's almost impossible to feel angry or sad when they're around. It's something I'm grateful for most days given my situation.
"Interesting," Daphne murmurs. "It doesn't seem that the Unleashing is all that bad."
"What is that bad in black magic terms?" I ask.
"The person in the middle is the one most at risk of being hurt."
"Great. Just what I want." Though it's a small price to pay for the freedom it'll give me. "But no one else is?" If that's the case, then maybe this is something I should be considering after all.
"No. It'll drain some power, but nothing that can't be recuperated."
"You're seriously considering this, aren't you?" I ask her, a little in awe of the fact she's willing to go to such lengths for me.
"Of course. I want to help. And if I'm a quarter of the magic this spell needs, then that's what I'll do."
"And that's just the pr
oblem, isn't it?" I point out. "You're only a quarter of the magic we need."
"That's fine. Thomas will definitely help. Let's face it, that's why he left the books in your room in the first place. He probably even managed to figure out I'd be the one to persuade you..."
"You're talking about this as if it's a done deal." And while I'll admit to almost being swayed by her reasoning, I'm not quite there. The last thing I want is to get her into trouble, and this is heading there. Quickly, at the rate she's going.
"And then we'll just ask Ryan." Excitement shines in her eyes, but I'm already shaking my head.
"We can't ask Ryan."
"Whyever not? He's half in love with you, he'd do it."
"I'm not taking advantage of him just because he has a crush on me," I counter.
"Oh, Mona. It's not a crush. It's so much worse than a crush."
Part of me wants to point out she uses the same denial technique when it comes to Ryan's best friend, but I don't think it's worth it. Not when she's trying to help me.
"I still say no to Ryan."
"But Mona, we need him to make four plus you."
"No, we don't. He'd only be three plus me," I point out. "And that means we're definitely not bringing him into this."
"Bringing me into what?" Caspian asks from the doorway.
I groan. "You need to learn to knock," I chide him without thinking. My hand flies to my mouth, wanting to stuff the words I've just said back in so he can no longer hear them. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I just said that."
Caspian chuckles. "It's okay, I deserve it. But this time, I did knock. You didn't seem to hear me. Now, what were you not asking me?"
"It wasn't you we were talking about," Daphne cuts in. "But we can ask you too."
I shake my head and draw a finger across my neck, trying to get her to stop talking and let me handle Caspian. I don't want him to be in on this. It'll put us in a more precarious situation than before. We only just got our relationship back on track, I don't want to ruin it.
"Now I'm intrigued. What is it that Mona doesn't want me to know?"
Second Time's A Curse Page 5